So 10 minutes in and Halloween is fucking terrible (spoilers dum dums)

[Mupepe]

this is a discussion for people who have already seen it.  so leave now otherwise.


wow what a fucking piece of shit.  the opening scene with zombie's wife or whoever, is fucking terrible.  oh my god.  it's not a homage to the original film because it obviously has no idea what made the original.  ugh ugh ugh

if you haven't seen it and you loved the original   DON'T

the "broken home" shit DOES NOT WORK.  oh my god.  feels just like a shitty modern horror movie.

for the record, i love TDR and hate house of 1000 corpses.

the writing is terrible and feels so old and played out.  Dr. Loomis is the only person that is cast well anyways.

CRAP CRAP CRAP

ONE DUMP IN MY MOUTH OUT OF FIVE.

[Mupepe]

balls move this topic!

[Eduardo24]

huh?

[Mupepe]

terrible movie.  terrible.

[Ecrofirt]

I don't quite like how the kid playing Michael can't seem to stop smirking.

[Ichirou]

It's the first film in which we understand Michael Myers' pain, so STFU.

Rob Zombie's Halloween is the thinking man's Halloween.

[Ecrofirt]

The movie is instantly made 100,000x better than it already was (and I like it) with Dio on the car stereo.

[Shuri]

It was the first horror film that was not insulting in like like 3 years. Encourage this movie, horror fan, or else we'll be stuck with Saw 4-5-6, The hills have eyes 4, and Children of the Corn part 6 and such shit. Have you forgotten how wooden the acting was? HOw little backstory or developpement? After what, 7-8 movies, and in a world where anyone can go watch videos of people being executed for real, the whole omg shock factor of the killing he does has worn out. The whole backstory introduced in this is really interesting and finally a change of pace.

You have no idea what youre talking about, and you're just a sheep repeating what other sheeps said. You like being a sheep, don't you?

[The Fake Shemp]

What the fuck - don't encourage this shit.  If this is what people will pass as clever or smart, then the horror genre is done for.  Yes, it's marginally better than an awful straight-to-home-video sequel on production values alone, but there's not a huge gap and that should not - and I repeat, it should NOT - be the bar for horror productions.

WHAT IN THE FUCK.

[Smooth Groove]

What the fuck - don't encourage this shit.  If this is what people will pass as clever or smart, then the horror genre is done for.  Yes, it's marginally better than an awful straight-to-home-video sequel on production values alone, but there's not a huge gap and that should not - and I repeat, it should NOT - be the bar for horror productions.

WHAT IN THE FUCK.

^Thinking man's horror fan. 

[Ichirou]

What the fuck - don't encourage this shit.  If this is what people will pass as clever or smart, then the horror genre is done for.  Yes, it's marginally better than an awful straight-to-home-video sequel on production values alone, but there's not a huge gap and that should not - and I repeat, it should NOT - be the bar for horror productions.

WHAT IN THE FUCK.

Rob Zombie's Halloween is the movie John Carpenter would have made - if he had the balls.

[The Fake Shemp]

You're insane.

Zombie's remake goes completely against what Carpenter was trying and did achieve with the original.  Comparisons to Carpenter's landmark film aside, Zombie's Halloween is like a public service announcement to up and coming filmmakers on how not to make a film.  The writing is awful, the direction is uninspired, the casting leans  towards mediocre, the acting is almost universally bad and the editing is flat out distinguished mentally-challenged.  I really cannot praise a single element of the film.

Zombie attempts to inject pathos into the iconic character, but he fails miserably.  It's nothing but cliche genre devices and serial killer porn, and in the same stroke, he destroys what made people fear "The Shape" in the first place - he was just evil.  It wasn't until Halloween II that they attempted some line of reasoning for his murderous rampage, which by the way, Zombie also puts in his re-imagining without offering some kind of logic (he just magically finds out what happened to his sister when her adopted parents don't know!).  Halloween II at least tries to explain this with some clever retconning.

The rest of the film is a condensed version of Carpenter's, except awful.  The teenagers are horribly written and coupled with even worse acting.  Carpenter didn't know how to write teenage girls and he didn't even try - he gave that duty to the actual girls.  Which is why it sounds more grounded, even if it's dated to match with the time period.  It's obvious that Zombie could give a shit about Laurie Strode; she is just a plot device used to showcase his new and improved Super Michael Myers that can go through walls.

The movie straight-up sucks.  People who want this and more Saw sequels should be taken outside the theater and shot.

[Mupepe]

What the fuck - don't encourage this shit.  If this is what people will pass as clever or smart, then the horror genre is done for.  Yes, it's marginally better than an awful straight-to-home-video sequel on production values alone, but there's not a huge gap and that should not - and I repeat, it should NOT - be the bar for horror productions.

WHAT IN THE FUCK.

Rob Zombie's Halloween is the movie John Carpenter would have made - if he had the balls.

I think he's being sarcastic, Willco.

[Solo]

Middle of the road.

[abrader]

im not suprised really - this looked as bad as the 2006 Black Christmas remake from 1,000 feet away.

[Tauntaun]

You guys should've seen War. 

[Ecrofirt]

I enjoyed the film. It wasn't superb, but it wasn't terrible.

Of course, I also saw the oops pirated lulz workprint, so I can't really comment on the final cut of the film.

The only thing I didn't really get was how he just knew she was his sister. Kinda silly.

[Solo]

Watch the theatrical. I just read a complete list of changes, and the workprint sounds terrible. Especially the ending.

[Ecrofirt]

Yea, I just read a list of changes at GAF.

I've got to admit though, I liked the rape scene. That was some hardcore doggy fucking crazy shit.

[Bloodwake]

Watch the theatrical. I just read a complete list of changes, and the workprint sounds terrible. Especially the ending.

Rob Zombie's Halloween is good.

Even Carpenter liked it, or so I hear.

[Solo]

I was referring to the workprint. I saw (hell, I reviewed) the theatrical version, and liked it somewhat.

[The Fake Shemp]

Even Carpenter liked it, or so I hear.

Carpenter can't direct his way out of a paper bag these days and now he's forced to direct mediocre scripts by the guy who posts as Moriarty at Ain't It Cool News for an awful horror anthology show for Showtime.  The fact that he liked Rob Zombie's film (which, by the way, every director says - it's kind of Hollywood etiquette to say that, see Cameron on Terminator 3) doesn't change the fact that it's a shitty film.

[Ecrofirt]

Fuck you haters. I've not seen both the workprint and the real release, and I love both. Go enjoy your Bridges of Madison County shitfests for all I fucking  care.

[Ichirou]

Fuck you haters. I've not seen both the workprint and the real release, and I love both. Go enjoy your Bridges of Madison County shitfests for all I fucking  care.

Is it better than Carpenter's original?  What'd you think?

[HyperZoneWasAwesome]

Even Carpenter liked it, or so I hear.

He said he signed on to the project for purposes of quality check.  He signed the contract, they gave him a quality check.

He actually said that.  Of course he's not going to slag the new film, he didn't even have anything bad to say about The Fog remake, and that invited even more hate then Halloween 07 did.

Carpenter can't direct his way out of a paper bag these days and now he's forced to direct mediocre scripts by the guy who posts as Moriarty at Ain't It Cool News for an awful horror anthology show for Showtime.

So during the 80's he was pretty much invincible, but even though he hasn't made a great film since, his recent film output wasn't that terrible.  Ghosts of Mars was fun and properly ridiculous, In the Mouth of Madness is one of the best Lovecraft-esque film ever made (still not a high bar to pass), Vampire$ was the last good film about vampires, and call me nuts, but I prefer Escape from LA to its predecessor.

I'm pretty sure Carpenter just stopped giving a shit a long time ago.  Hell, two of his last three films are remakes of his own movies (Escape from LA/NY, Ghosts of Mars/Assault of Precinct 13).  If that ain't a gigantic red flag of a director not caring about innovating any more, just remember that he's authorized remakes of his signature films, even though at least one or two of them HAD to look sketchy even on paper. Maybe now him doing a low commitment cable show makes a little more sense now.

Fuck you haters. I've not seen both the workprint and the real release, and I love both. Go enjoy your Bridges of Madison County shitfests for all I fucking  care.

and what's wrong with The Bridges of Madison County?  Every real man loves Clint Eastwood and will speak no ill of any of his films, even if its a tender and heartfelt love story or it involves him as a geriatric astronaut.