Author Topic: Is Willco gonna be back today? (Read 27075 times)

TVC15 · « **on:** October 02, 2006, 12:55:05 PM »

Anyone want to make any guesses on how this weekend's adventure went? I am anxiously awaiting Federman's report. I'm sure I'll feel guilty once he actually does deliver the report, but hey what can you do?

Saint Cornelius · « **Reply #1 on:** October 02, 2006, 12:56:28 PM »

I know I can hardly wait to hear these exciting adventures

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #2 on:** October 02, 2006, 01:06:02 PM »

Deleted by user

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #3 on:** October 02, 2006, 01:09:31 PM »

Willco better be glad Crystal is Chinese and not Japanese. His feet wouldn't be able to fit under the tables

MrAngryFace · « **Reply #4 on:** October 02, 2006, 01:12:49 PM »

He'll be back, IN PIECES! MUHAHAHHAHAHA

MUHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH HAHAHHAHAH!

The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment · « **Reply #5 on:** October 02, 2006, 01:32:23 PM »

*crosses fingers*

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #6 on:** October 02, 2006, 01:33:45 PM »

he's currently tied up in their basement, getting three pounds of mu shu pork forcibly inserted into his hebe-hole.

TVC15 · « **Reply #7 on:** October 02, 2006, 01:36:59 PM »

Will there be a date set for the wedding, though?

Fatghost28 · « **Reply #8 on:** October 02, 2006, 01:59:15 PM »

Chinese parents are push overs. He'll be fine. They'll probably give him Rodi as a concubine too.

whiteACID · « **Reply #9 on:** October 02, 2006, 02:04:56 PM »

I'm on the edge of my seat!

ToxicAdam · « **Reply #10 on:** October 02, 2006, 02:19:43 PM »

I think Willco is missing parts of his brain that prevent him from saying inappropriate things. Even odds that he offends someone this weekend.

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #11 on:** October 02, 2006, 02:20:52 PM »

He MUST be a Republican!

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #12 on:** October 02, 2006, 02:26:27 PM »

Willco, what haven' you told us!

The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment · « **Reply #13 on:** October 02, 2006, 02:31:33 PM »

ToxicAdam · « **Reply #14 on:** October 02, 2006, 03:40:36 PM »

Quote from: Drinky Crow on October 02, 2006, 02:20:52 PM

He MUST be a Republican!

Actually, that IS a good point.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #15 on:** October 02, 2006, 04:32:46 PM »

On August 11, 1998, at approximately 5:15pm Pacific Daylight Time, Crystal had her rectum penetrated by Willbert, and thus they both lost their anal virginity. It was very rewarding for both of them and they might even try it again in the near future. The transcript of the event will be available in a matter of days, so be sure to return then.

The Miles Trahan Burger Experiment · « **Reply #16 on:** October 02, 2006, 04:34:00 PM »

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #17 on:** October 02, 2006, 04:37:34 PM »

8. Different rules of hygiene apply to the vagina and rectum

Since intercourse can be vaginal or rectal, many people assume the the same rules apply for the penetration of the vagina and rectum. Although both are lined with soft tissue and are capable of expanding, they are radically dissimilar.

The rectum is not straight. After the short anal canal which connects the anal opening to the rectum, the rectum tilts toward the front of the body. A few inches in, it curves back - sometimes as much as 90 degrees. Then, after a few more inches, it swoops toward the front of the body once again. A person can learn about the shape of his or her rectum by gently inserting a soft object, trying different angles and body positions and concentrating on how it feels. Make sure the object has a flared base so that if you loose your grip, it won't slip into the rectum and become irretrievable.

The rectum does not produce lubrication like the vagina but only a small amount of mucus. Therefore, rectal penetration always requires a lubricant. Chemical additives should be avoided. Water-based lubricants are latex-compatible.

The main function of the rectum is to act as a passageway for feces. But feces are not normally stored in the rectum except just prior to a bowel movement. Yet small amounts may remain in the rectum, expecially if the feces are not well formed. Anal douching before lovemaking will help some people especailly concerned with cleanliness to relax. For others the idea of dirtiness heightens the joy of the forbidden; for them, douching is anti-erotic.

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #18 on:** October 02, 2006, 04:39:53 PM »

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #19 on:** October 02, 2006, 04:40:47 PM »

6. Anal stimulation can lead to orgasm

A minority of men and women can respond orgasmically to anal sex without direct genital stimulation. Women probably do so through pelvic muscle contractions - and a small minority even though the sheer excitement of being anally penetrated. When men expereience an orgasm from anal stimulation, they tend to focus on the prostate. No doubt they are also responding to indirect stimulation of the penile bulb.

Orgasms from anal stimulation are most likely to occur when the participants become thoroughly absorbed in their sensations and fantasies. An lmost certain way to prevent such an orgasm is to be become determined to have one. Seeking an anal orgasm will create new pressures and disrupt the pleasure.

It must be remembered that most people require direct genital stimulation in order to climax. On the other hand, a few people have orgasms only with anal stimulation.

CrystalGemini · « **Reply #20 on:** October 02, 2006, 05:20:39 PM »

Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #21 on:** October 02, 2006, 05:25:53 PM »

Oh shit, they're back.

Time to delete my posts

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #22 on:** October 02, 2006, 06:36:05 PM »

It was not a trainwreck.

From what I was told, there was only one fat joke spoken in Cantonese. Her father wanted nothing to do with me at first, but I bribed him with a birthday present and he warmed up about as well as he could to a big, goofy white guy dating his favorite daugher (sorry rodi!). Her mom seemed to warm up to me over the day; I think she liked educating me on Chinese culture.

When we started out with dim sum, I was so nervous I could vomit. Originally, the plan was to eat with her mother, her older sister, her older sister's boyfriend, Crystal's best friend and that friend's boyfriend. Since I get along with Crystal's best friend and her boyfriend loves me, this was good news. Also, the mom is indifferent to me, so the pressure is not as intense as it is with the father.

But then the father took the day off of work, said he'd join us to dim sum and then as a result, Crystal's friend and her boyfriend dropped out. I got this nugget of fun dropped on me like, 30 minutes before leaving to go to dim sum.

But it went okay. Her older sister did say I looked uncomfortable (I can't eat with chopsticks, I'm not used to all the foods, I don't speak Cantonese, etc.). But I held up and I did try a lot of stuff (moon cakes are my new favorite snack!). I got to hang with rodi, who probably likes me more than Crystal's older sister, who I think views me as weird due to my sarcasm. Her father actually SPOKE to me later in the night, as we found a common ground in classic rock, which was a good progression since he didn't even want to shake my hand initially.

I think the key was, and everyone said it, was that I relaxed near the end. I was doing fake voice overs for their home videos and joke around.

So, yeah, it was not a trainwreck.

Bacon · « **Reply #23 on:** October 02, 2006, 06:36:40 PM »

I hear Willco tried to pull a fast one over on her parents by using scotch tape on the sides of his head to make chinc eyes.

whiteACID · « **Reply #24 on:** October 02, 2006, 06:37:53 PM »

well Willco if this means anything you are my favourite poster on evilbore and im glad you're back because at least you talk in threads.

be my friendosaraus.

Polari · « **Reply #25 on:** October 02, 2006, 06:38:12 PM »

Sounds pretty bad.

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #26 on:** October 02, 2006, 06:38:30 PM »

I dislike this outcome. I was promised something at LEAST NC-17 rated, and preferably an X rating of the Cannibal Ferox variety. Nobody got raped with a golf club?

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #27 on:** October 02, 2006, 06:40:06 PM »

I'm sorry, Drinky. If it helps - the ingredients were there.

Father's a butcher, with the overachieving, beloved daughter dating out of culture and race and religion. Could've been a bloodbath.

Our love of Queen, Van Halen and Led Zeppelin saved me.

MrAngryFace · « **Reply #28 on:** October 02, 2006, 06:41:31 PM »

The gift was a good idea, I think that was the best move you made there.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #29 on:** October 02, 2006, 06:42:29 PM »

I bought the mom a box of her favorite chocolates and her father, who is a classic rock fiend (and beginning to learn electric guitar), the 2-disc DVD set of Queen: Live at Wembley.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #30 on:** October 02, 2006, 06:43:06 PM »

Good job Willco. btw Crystal didn't try to teach you how to eat with chop sticks before the visit?

Finding common ground is the best way to pull someone over to your side. I've met people who were extremely standoffish, but lowered their guard once we started talking about similar passions.

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #31 on:** October 02, 2006, 06:43:27 PM »

Quote from: Willco on October 02, 2006, 06:42:29 PM

I bought the mom a box of her favorite chocolates and her father, who is a classic rock fiend (and beginning to learn electric guitar), the 2-disc DVD set of Queen: Live at Wembley.

FUCKIN' NICE

That definitely helped big time.

TVC15 · « **Reply #32 on:** October 02, 2006, 06:44:07 PM »

Ew, I'd shitcan true love if it meant having to pretend to like Zeppelin.

Anyway, I'm disappointed. All the ingredients were there to make this an awesome fish out of water comedy, but you delivered us something of, I dunno, Joey quality.

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #33 on:** October 02, 2006, 06:45:21 PM »

Quote from: TVC 15 on October 02, 2006, 06:44:07 PM

Ew, I'd shitcan true love if it meant having to pretend to like Zeppelin.

Most people don't have to pretend... I don't even know what to say.

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #34 on:** October 02, 2006, 06:46:29 PM »

Deleted by user

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #35 on:** October 02, 2006, 06:46:32 PM »

Crystal has tried to help me with chopsticks, and I have gotten better with every try. My form is okay, but the mechanics are totally off. I hardly ever eat with them, and dim sum/dinner with the parents was not time to start experimenting. I will continue to try and learn.

The Queen DVD was definitely a huge help; as soon as he unwrapped it, his attitude changed significantly.

I also cut my hair even shorter. It's probably shorter than it's ever been in my life.

Prost · « **Reply #36 on:** October 02, 2006, 06:47:39 PM »

Quote from: Willco on October 02, 2006, 06:36:05 PM

It was not a trainwreck.

From what I was told, there was only one fat joke spoken in Cantonese. Her father wanted nothing to do with me at first, but I bribed him with a birthday present and he warmed up about as well as he could to a big, goofy white guy dating his favorite daugher (sorry rodi!). Her mom seemed to warm up to me over the day; I think she liked educating me on Chinese culture.

When we started out with dim sum, I was so nervous I could vomit. Originally, the plan was to eat with her mother, her older sister, her older sister's boyfriend, Crystal's best friend and that friend's boyfriend. Since I get along with Crystal's best friend and her boyfriend loves me, this was good news. Also, the mom is indifferent to me, so the pressure is not as intense as it is with the father.

But then the father took the day off of work, said he'd join us to dim sum and then as a result, Crystal's friend and her boyfriend dropped out. I got this nugget of fun dropped on me like, 30 minutes before leaving to go to dim sum.

But it went okay. Her older sister did say I looked uncomfortable (I can't eat with chopsticks, I'm not used to all the foods, I don't speak Cantonese, etc.). But I held up and I did try a lot of stuff (moon cakes are my new favorite snack!). I got to hang with rodi, who probably likes me more than Crystal's older sister, who I think views me as weird due to my sarcasm. Her father actually SPOKE to me later in the night, as we found a common ground in classic rock, which was a good progression since he didn't even want to shake my hand initially.

I think the key was, and everyone said it, was that I relaxed near the end. I was doing fake voice overs for their home videos and joke around.

So, yeah, it was not a trainwreck.

haha, great job man!! Yeah it takes a while for the dad to warm up to ya...... but if your intentions truly are good, he'll eventually be forced to understand that her daughter has actually fallen for a good man.

Good man! Drinks all around!

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #37 on:** October 02, 2006, 06:48:25 PM »

Quote from: TVC 15 on October 02, 2006, 06:44:07 PM

Ew, I'd shitcan true love if it meant having to pretend to like Zeppelin.

Quote from: TVC 15 on October 02, 2006, 06:44:07 PM

Ew, I'd shitcan true love if it meant having to pretend to like Zeppelin.

Quote from: TVC 15 on October 02, 2006, 06:44:07 PM

Ew, I'd shitcan true love if it meant having to pretend to like Zeppelin.

Quote from: TVC 15 on October 02, 2006, 06:44:07 PM

Ew, I'd shitcan true love if it meant having to pretend to like Zeppelin.

Wow White Man, you suck

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #38 on:** October 02, 2006, 06:48:51 PM »

But Willco isn't a good guy -- heck, he isn't even straight!

...

...

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #39 on:** October 02, 2006, 06:49:12 PM »

Also, I did make several jokes at white people's expense. Including apologizing for my lack of chopsticks skills by saying, "Sorry - I'm white!" And somehow, the topic of early colonies and Roanoke Island came up, and at one point I said I thought the Native Americans killed all the colonists out of revenge for colonists attacking them for just being different. Crystal's brother was like, "Why would they do that?" and I said, "Because they're white! That's what we do!"

Her mom thought that was funny.

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #40 on:** October 02, 2006, 06:49:17 PM »

He's right; Zeppelin sucks. So do The Beatles.

Prost · « **Reply #41 on:** October 02, 2006, 06:49:36 PM »

Quote from: Drinky Crow on October 02, 2006, 06:48:51 PM

But Willco isn't a good guy -- heck, he isn't even straight!

...

...

Pssh, anyone can tell he's a good dode

Catz · « **Reply #42 on:** October 02, 2006, 06:50:37 PM »

Yay Willco!

Bacon · « **Reply #43 on:** October 02, 2006, 06:51:44 PM »

Quote from: Willco on October 02, 2006, 06:49:12 PM

Also, I did make several jokes at white people's expense. Including apologizing for my lack of chopsticks skills by saying, "Sorry - I'm white!" And somehow, the topic of early colonies and Roanoke Island came up, and at one point I said I thought the Native Americans killed all the colonists out of revenge for colonists attacking them for just being different. Crystal's brother was like, "Why would they do that?" and I said, "Because they're white! That's what we do!"

Her mom thought that was funny.

Quit being a trader to your race.

Prost · « **Reply #44 on:** October 02, 2006, 06:53:38 PM »

Quote from: Bacon on October 02, 2006, 06:51:44 PM

Quote from: Willco on October 02, 2006, 06:49:12 PM
Also, I did make several jokes at white people's expense. Including apologizing for my lack of chopsticks skills by saying, "Sorry - I'm white!" And somehow, the topic of early colonies and Roanoke Island came up, and at one point I said I thought the Native Americans killed all the colonists out of revenge for colonists attacking them for just being different. Crystal's brother was like, "Why would they do that?" and I said, "Because they're white! That's what we do!"

Her mom thought that was funny.

Quit being a trader to your race.

Preposterous! nobody would ever trade white slaves! we invented it! (yeah dumb joke ;()

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #45 on:** October 02, 2006, 06:54:01 PM »

Quote from: Drinky Crow on October 02, 2006, 06:49:17 PM

He's right; Zeppelin sucks. So do The Beatles.

Well, you're just a fucking idiot.

But White Man, :'(

Edit: Prost, the spelling was worse than your joke.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #46 on:** October 02, 2006, 06:54:49 PM »

A trader? I trade the funny, more like it!

I'm an East Coast Jew. Self depreciating humor is not a foriegn concept to me. Her mom is a firm believer, and I won't change anything, in that white people have a superiority complex. I think it helped that I showed some humility.

The biggest 'brow raise was that I was not used to how the culture handles guests. It was her father's birthday, so I kept not going after the lobster and stuff so that the birthday boy could enjoy the best part of the feast. Yet, it was forced on me, as was leftovers, because apparently I was the guest and as so, food must be shuffled on me.

Also funny was that despite my size, every one of them ate me under the table.

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #47 on:** October 02, 2006, 06:54:58 PM »

Deleted by user

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #48 on:** October 02, 2006, 06:55:04 PM »

Quote from: CajoleJuice on October 02, 2006, 06:54:01 PM

Quote from: Drinky Crow on October 02, 2006, 06:49:17 PM
He's right; Zeppelin sucks. So do The Beatles.
Well, you're just a fucking idiot.

But White Man, :'(

Edit: Prost, the spelling was worse than your joke.

Looks like we need a Zeppelin appreciation thread, aye Cajole?

TVC15 · « **Reply #49 on:** October 02, 2006, 06:55:10 PM »

So when is the wedding? I think you should race to get married before B'z-chan does this Thursday.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #50 on:** October 02, 2006, 06:55:48 PM »

Marriage is not on the table right now (or the counter, the floor, the closet, etc.). Let us just enjoy each other's company!

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #51 on:** October 02, 2006, 06:56:22 PM »

Quote from: Willco on October 02, 2006, 06:54:49 PM

every one of them ate me under the table.

Quote from: Willco on October 02, 2006, 06:54:49 PM

every one of them ate me under the table.

Quote from: Willco on October 02, 2006, 06:54:49 PM

every one of them ate me under the table.

Quote from: Willco on October 02, 2006, 06:54:49 PM

every one of them ate me under the table.

Flannel Boy · « **Reply #52 on:** October 02, 2006, 06:56:32 PM »

Deleted by user

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #53 on:** October 02, 2006, 06:56:43 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on October 02, 2006, 06:55:04 PM

Quote from: CajoleJuice on October 02, 2006, 06:54:01 PM
Quote from: Drinky Crow on October 02, 2006, 06:49:17 PM
He's right; Zeppelin sucks. So do The Beatles.
Well, you're just a fucking idiot.

But White Man, :'(

Edit: Prost, the spelling was worse than your joke.

Looks like we need a Zeppelin appreciation thread, aye Cajole?

I don't know if there's enough people here who love Zeppelin. Judging by this thread, there's just a bunch of feggits.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #54 on:** October 02, 2006, 06:56:57 PM »

ONLY YOU GUYS COULD TURN THIS INTO A SEXUAL INNUENDO

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #55 on:** October 02, 2006, 06:57:09 PM »

Nobody likes Zeppelin. They're like a premonition of Genesis without Peter Gabriel. If it hadn't been for a couple catchy, kitschy guitar solos popularized by talentless garage fucks noodling on their Fenders, they'd take their place right where they deserve: as the personal cum dumpsters of The Rolling Stones.

Prost · « **Reply #56 on:** October 02, 2006, 06:57:13 PM »

Quote from: Willco on October 02, 2006, 06:54:49 PM

A trader? I trade the funny, more like it!

I'm an East Coast Jew. Self depreciating humor is not a foriegn concept to me. Her mom is a firm believer, and I won't change anything, in that white people have a superiority complex. I think it helped that I showed some humility.

The biggest 'brow raise was that I was not used to how the culture handles guests. It was her father's birthday, so I kept not going after the lobster and stuff so that the birthday boy could enjoy the best part of the feast. Yet, it was forced on me, as was leftovers, because apparently I was the guest and as so, food must be shuffled on me.

Also funny was that despite my size, every one of them ate me under the table.

Polari · « **Reply #57 on:** October 02, 2006, 06:57:23 PM »

Quote from: CajoleJuice on October 02, 2006, 06:54:01 PM

Quote from: Drinky Crow on October 02, 2006, 06:49:17 PM
He's right; Zeppelin sucks. So do The Beatles.
Well, you're just a fucking idiot.

Nah, he's right. Zeppelin probably sucks more though.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #58 on:** October 02, 2006, 06:58:17 PM »

Quote from: CajoleJuice on October 02, 2006, 06:56:43 PM

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on October 02, 2006, 06:55:04 PM
Quote from: CajoleJuice on October 02, 2006, 06:54:01 PM
Quote from: Drinky Crow on October 02, 2006, 06:49:17 PM
He's right; Zeppelin sucks. So do The Beatles.
Well, you're just a fucking idiot.

But White Man, :'(

Edit: Prost, the spelling was worse than your joke.

Looks like we need a Zeppelin appreciation thread, aye Cajole?
I don't know if there's enough people here who love Zeppelin. Judging by this thread, there's just a bunch of feggits.

True

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #59 on:** October 02, 2006, 06:58:27 PM »

Quote from: Drinky Crow on October 02, 2006, 06:57:09 PM

Nobody likes Zeppelin. They're like a premonition of Genesis without Peter Gabriel. If it hadn't been for a couple catchy, kitschy guitar solos popularized by talentless garage fucks noodling on their Fenders, they'd take their place right where they deserve: as the personal cum dumpsters of The Rolling Stones.

Except everyone I meet in real-life, once again. Apparently, your type of shithead only exists on the internet.

News:

Author Topic: Is Willco gonna be back today? (Read 27075 times)