Author Topic: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager  (Read 8201 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Ichirou

  • Merry Christmas
  • Senior Member
Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« on: January 04, 2008, 04:28:44 AM »
I was just looking over some old high school textbooks before throwing them away (I actually ended up giving them to a friend of mine 'cuz he loved the cartoons I drew of our old high school classmates), and wow, I was a dumb-dumb.  Does anyone have any samples of stupid things they wrote back when they were teenagers?  A good example:

Quote from: Gay Boy
Jake, Yenor
Shelby Township, Michigan
Super Mario Bros.. 3

Well Happy Birthday Miyamoto-san! I can't belive you're already 50! Wow, you sure don't look it. I bet you still have another 50 years in you. No matter how old you get you'll always have a heart as a child. I can't wait to play what you have in store for us in the upcoming years. Have a very wonderful birthday and keep making all those great games!

A bad example, since it showcases my great gaming taste, even in the midst of puberty:

Quote from: Ichirou
I'd have to say, my favorite [game developers] are:

1.  Capcom:  I've just loved them since the NES days.  I have very fond
memories of playing all those Mega Man games, their Disney platformers,
Little Nemo in Slumberland, and hell, even Da Noid video game.  The
Street Fighter Alpha series and the Versus series (not serious fighters,
but still fun) puts them up on top of my list.


2.  Sega/Red:  Just on the strength of their Sakura Taisen games.^_^


3.  GameArts:  Lunar!  Lunar!  Lunar!  Oh, and Grandia too...


4.  Square:  Their quality has really declined recently, IMHO, so that's
why they're so low on my list.


5.  SNK:  King of Fighters, and the delightful Blue Mary...:)


There are other good game developers out there, but none of 'em match
these five, if you ask me.


Also, this was my old Usenet sig, apparently:

Quote
"You have no future in the Japanese comics industry, Jebediah!  Your
work
is all your own!  What's the matter?  Too GOOD for assistants?  And
where
are your SPEED LINES?? Even MAH-JONGG comics must have speed lines!  And
where are your ninjas? A comic book with no ninja is an insult to all
ninjas everywhere!" "Never...met...a ninja..." "I am a ninja, you fool!"
 WHAM! "And THIS is for my FATHER, the ninja!" SPLAT! "THIS is for my
MOTHER, the ninja!" CRAK! "This is for REX, my ninja DOG!" ZAKK!


It's pretty fucking awesome, but I have no idea where it's from.
« Last Edit: January 04, 2008, 04:31:01 AM by Ichirou »
PS4

Vizzys

  • green hair connoisseur
  • Senior Member
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #1 on: January 04, 2008, 04:35:23 AM »
pretty much everything Ive written to a girl I like, ever

i burned them

edit: burned the writings that is
萌え~

Ichirou

  • Merry Christmas
  • Senior Member
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #2 on: January 04, 2008, 04:36:36 AM »
Oh shit, I guess I spoke to soon, look at my top ten games of all time list back from 1998:

Quote from: Ichi the goddamn distinguished mentally-challenged fellow
Well, here are my own top ten picks (in no particular order):

Final Fantasy III (VI in Japan):  A thoroughly engrossing epic of
spectacular proportions.
 The first RPG I truly enjoyed playing.  Before
this game, the only other Final Fantasy I'd played was the first game,
which I found rather boring, even though I did take the time to complete
it.  Final Fantasy III made me an RPG fan for life.



> MegaMan 2 (NES/Famicom).  the best 2d platform I've ever played.  the best
>         graphics i've seen on the NES.  the best music(does a soundtrack
>         exist?) on the NES.  and great gameplay that I didn't get from
>         any other MegaMan.  I think in this day and age, this came can
>         STILL hold its own against anything 32 bitters have to offer


Though it would certainly not be at the top of my list, Mega Man 2 would
definitely be somewhere in my top ten.  I remember being awed by the
huge robotic dragon that appears on the way to Dr. Wily's headquarters.
I still remember most of the music.  Easily my favorite platform-type
game.


> Sakura Taisen(Saturn). once in a while, you find a game that changes
>         your world.  This is it.  You wanna know why there is a huge fan
>         following in Japan for this game?  You wanna know why it became
>         so popular, that an anime was made?  that misc. stuff like
>         stationery, art books, figures, models, spin-off games, etc, etc
>         were made?  that the sequel(I've heard, not positive) broke even
>         FF7's sales numbers in Japan?  that Sega opened up a shop selling
>         exclusively Sakura Taisen/Sakura Wars merchandise?  then you must
>         experience the game.
>                 Think of an adventure simulation where you interact with
>         characters.  Think of a war simulation.  Add in songs and voices
>         by some popular talent in Japan(Yokoyama Chisa, Tomizawa Michie,
>         Orikasa Ai, etc), a huge anime influence, and a pinch of a
>         dating sim, and you've got Sakura Taisen.



Azure Dreams:  How can I rate such a new game so highly?  Well, though
I've owned it for only a few days, I've already devoted fifteen hours to
it, as well as spent an entire night on it...something I almost never
do, playing games a few hours a week at most.


Ichirou circa 2008: I stopped playing it at around the 20 hour mark and never went back, lol.  What a shit game.

Chrono Trigger:  I took the time to finish this game fifteen times over,
just to see every single ending.  Enough said.


Street Fighter Alpha 2:  The first Street Fighter game I actually
bothered to buy for myself (as opposed to letting a friend buy it and
playing it over at his house).


Tetris:  Though I adore Puzzle Fighter and the Sakura Taisen columns
variant, this is the puzzle game by which I measure all other puzzle
games (the best of which fall slightly short of this high standard).
The only game I take with my Game Boy for long trips.


Lunar 2: Eternal Blue:  Say what you will about the first game, this
game surpasses it in all respects, including a much longer quest,
fascinating characters, and interesting dialogues.  It's a shame that
it's marred by contemporary (and now dated) Rush Limbaugh and Bill
Clinton jokes  Working Designs should have just stuck to fart
jokes...those are timeless.

Little Nemo in Slumberland:  I would love to find a copy of this game,
another of Capcom's fantastic 8-bit platformers...


Fuuuck


PS4

Powerslave

  • Senior Member
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #3 on: January 04, 2008, 04:40:10 AM »
I got a couple of REAL embarassing posts I had made on gamefaqs yeaaaars ago which I have saved but there's no way I'm gonna post them :lol

Ichirou

  • Merry Christmas
  • Senior Member
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #4 on: January 04, 2008, 04:41:30 AM »
DO IT
PS4

CajoleJuice

  • kill me
  • Icon
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #5 on: January 04, 2008, 04:45:34 AM »
Quote
Yea...so it was my birthday today. Big deal. Wow...I'm 18. Now I get to buy cigarettes (so I can get lung cancer), buy porn (which I can d/l for free), and vote (haha...I can't even make decisions in my everyday life, how can I decide who can run the country?). So basically turning 18 is garbage.

Oh wait, that's not embarrassing.

And this isn't either, but I enjoyed reading it again.

Quote
Well...the rest of my weekend was pretty much wasted as well. So I'm not too happy. Even my dreams are pissing me off. And HOLY SHIT The Day After Tomorrow is possibly the worst movie I've seen. Ever. Here is my master list of why this movie blew all types of ass.
Warning: Don't read this if you still plan on seeing this horrible movie. And don't bitch complain to me if you still read it after this warning.

- The whole concept is distinguished mentally-challenged...but you already knew that.
- The ending. Seriously what the fuck is that. All of a sudden the storm just stops so the jackass dad can save his son. YAY! Oh wait, about 2 billion people are dead.
- The hot girl in the movie never goes in the water...at least not up to the chest. Come on...there's a huge flood and there isn't the obligatory wet shirt? What the hell is that?
- CGI wolves. They looked like complete shit.
- There are numerous racial stereotypes blatantly used. The black meteorlogist guy is sleeping in the beginning of the movie. He also has a white wife. Then Japanese people are the ones getting blasted by a huge hailstorm. Just because it's funniest when Japanese people are running and screaming. And driving their little motor scooters into walls.
- All the destruction in the movie is shown in the trailers. And that's all it's good for. There was no reason to spend 9 dollars to go see this movie.
- The Scottish scientists watch soccer. Not rugby. Fucking pussies.
- There is absolutely no connection to any of the characters in the movie. The President died...but who cared? They showed the guy for about 5 seconds. I didn't give a crap about the guy who cut himself loose either. And they didn't even show him fall or even make a noise. What the hell is this? A Disney movie rated G? Oh wait...they showed more violence in Bambi.
- The moral bullshit is so obvious. Don't waste gas, learn from this, the 3rd world countries welcomed the people in need...blah blah, blah. Oh shut the fuck up. I think Mr. Bennett would love this movie.
« Last Edit: January 04, 2008, 04:47:49 AM by CajoleJuice »
AMC

Ichirou

  • Merry Christmas
  • Senior Member
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #6 on: January 04, 2008, 04:46:10 AM »
That's actually a pretty good post.  You are not a dummy like me. :(
PS4

CajoleJuice

  • kill me
  • Icon
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #7 on: January 04, 2008, 04:54:54 AM »
Ok here we go:

Quote
Family Guy = second best show ever
Family Guy is freaking amazing. Every episode is classic. Just watching this DVD set is making me realize this even more. There is no end. It's just awesome. I really hope the new episodes keep it up.
AMC

Ichirou

  • Merry Christmas
  • Senior Member
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #8 on: January 04, 2008, 04:56:14 AM »
That's more like it. :lol
PS4

CajoleJuice

  • kill me
  • Icon
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #9 on: January 04, 2008, 04:57:31 AM »
Quote
Nintendo sucks
I was expected this entry to be all about the 3rd of the next-gen consoles - The Nintendo Revolution. Apparently, I was wrong.

Nintendo has decided to give up basically. They can't keep up with Sony and Microsoft. They know they have no chance, even though they do have a ridiculous $10 billion warchest of cash they could use, but I guess they're saving that for the apocalypse. Nintendo barely even showed anything about the Revolution at their press conference. The big thing they talked about was the ability to download past Nintendo games, like an iTunes service. NES/SNES/N64/GC games all in one box. Is that the big Revolution? What the fuck. They gave up. There's no way it can keep up with Xbox 360 and PS3 graphically because it's half the size of both those consoles. If anyone took Economics Honors last year, the system is about as big as the textbook - The Worldly Philosophers - for that class. They showed like a few seconds of a Metroid game, didn't show a controller, and basically just concentrated on the Nintendo POS, I mean DS, the remaining few games for Gamecube, and their new Gameboy...which is just ANOTHER revision of the GBA, this one is just fucking tiny as a cell phone. Big fucking whoop. Nintendo is just hoping people will buy their console as a sidekick to the PS3. (or Xbox 360) But fuck Microsoft.
AMC

Joe Molotov

  • I'm much more humble than you would understand.
  • Administrator
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #10 on: January 04, 2008, 04:58:37 AM »
All of the internet forums that I used to post on are lost in the mists of times, so I can't find any old stupid posts that I made. I did find this glowing review I wrote about Wario Land 3 for GameFAQs!

Quote
"Nintendo made this game because they want you to be happy."

Before going on vacation some time back, I decided to buy a new Gameboy game, because I knew I’d be spending a little quality time with my faithful old GBC (this was back before the Gameboy Advance, back in the old days ^_^). So I’m browsing the shelves trying to decide what game I might get when Wario Land 3 catches my eye. I hadn’t played any of the other Wario Land games so I didn’t know anything about it, but I knew it was made by Nintendo and Big N is one of the only companies that consistently puts out good software for the Gameboy, so better safe than sorry. Little did I know that I was about to play one of the best games ever created.

Graphics:
If the SNES had a 56-color palette, this is what it would look like. Simply put, on an 12-year old 8-bit system, it doesn’t get any better than this. It's nothing to gawk at (it's still the GBC we're talking about here) but you will be amazed that even after all this time, they're still about to squeeze just a little bit more of the old girl…err boy, I mean.
10 out of 10

Sound:
Nothing amazing (still talking about the GBC, people) but it didn't get so monotonous or boring that I had to turn down the volume and I guess that's really all that matters on a GBC game.
8 out of 10

Gameplay:
Now this is where things get interesting. No one buys GBC games for pretty graphics and music, right? Anyway, there are a total of 25 levels. Each of these levels contains 4 treasure chest. The goal of the level is not to run a fast as you possible can to the end of the level because there is no end of the level. You have to try to unlock the chests. But you can't just go through the level grabbing keys and unlocking things willy-nilly. Some chests can't be opened until later in the game when you have gained new abilities.

This is where all the game really starts to get long. Although as I said, it only has 25 levels, you will be required to backtrack extensively through each and every one of these levels in order to reach your goal. You might think this would get boring, but then, you might be wrong. :) When you've gained a new ability such as the Ground Pound or the upgraded Shoulder Rush you'll be able to unlock new areas of each level so that it almost seems like you are in a new level entirely. This removes any potential monotony that might result from backtracking.

Treasure Chests:
I've mentioned this before, but I think it needs it's own sub-heading were I can really go into detail. In each level there are 4 keys and 4 chests. The keys are color coded to the chests they open. Usually only one key is accessible when you enter a level and then the rest have to be gained later. First you find the key, and then you find the chest. It sounds simple enough, but you can be sure there will be plenty of puzzles and enemies to hinder you.

Once you've opened a chest, you'll unleash some kind of magical item that will help you on your progress. Sometimes you might find a saw that will cut down some trees on the world map so you can proceed, or you might find a magic wand that will freeze the river and let you cross. Sometimes to takes more than one thing before something happens.

Puzzles:
This is the one thing about this game that no other portable platformer does. It makes you think. You can just storm in, guns a-blazing, and expect to make it past the first level. You got to use that noodle. Fortunately, it's nothing too major. There are no tile sliding puzzles, and you don't have to rewire an alien spacecraft. But you will have to figure out how to use your enemies to your advantage, which can be pretty tricky.

Say you need to bash through a Yarn Block, but there are no silk worms near-by to turn you into a ball of yarn. You may have to backtrack a ways through the level, find one, and then carry him back to were you needed him at. I know that sounds like pretty simple stuff, but you really have to try it out for yourself to get a feel for what I'm talking about.

Invincibility:
Tired of seeing that same old ''Game Over'' screen? This is the game for you. You see, you can't be killed. You're probably thinking that that makes the game easier, but not so. When certain creatures or objects attack you, you are changed. Running into fire make you become on fire. You will run crazily until finally you are totally engulfed in flames and then you turn to a cinder. Wario then shakes it off like any good fictional videogame character. Some other transformations include Vampire Wario (when you get bitten by bats), Zombie Wario (when you get attacked by a Zombie), frozen Wario (when you get hit by a snowball), etc.

These transformations can be annoying sometimes (imagine you're all the way to the top of a tall tower, and then you get set on fire and Wario runs off the side) but they are also used to advance. Some blocks can only be destroyed by fire, while others require ice, and others have to be hit by a ball of yarn (another of Wario's transformations).

''So what if I fall off a cliff?'' you might ask. There are no bottomless pits. Every pit leads to lower area of the level. ''So I will never, ever get killed, no matter what?'', you ask. Well I wouldn't say that. I don't want to spoil anything, but I can almost guarantee that you will see that dreaded ''Game Over'' screen at least once, no matter how good you are.
10 out of 10


Replay Value:
So you beat the game and now it's all over, right? Wrong. You can beat the game and only have completed about 50% of the game. And put images of Donkey Kong 64 out of you mind, this isn't about collecting a few bananas or gold coins you left behind. We're talking whole levels here that you have not completed. If that doesn't speak for itself, I don't know what I can say that will convince you.

Well, I may not have been completely honest; there are some gold coins to get also. There is a special objective on each level that requires you to collect 8 Gold Coins on each level, in a single visit. This usually can't be completed until you've got all the power up and special abilities, so you'll usually wind up saving that for the end too. I haven't managed to get all the gold coins for a single level yet, so I can't tell you what happens when you do it.
10 out of 10

The Bottom Line: Buy or Rent
This really the only part anyone reads of these things so I'm going to make this count. Wario Land 3 is the best Game Boy game ever to carry the suffix -ario in it. If you understood that, good for you, you can skip the next line. This game is better than any Wario Land game and any Mario Land game for that matter. This is the best platformer game ever to grace the GBC, and if you don't own it already, fix that problem immediately. You won't be disappointed. A resoundingly affirmative BUY!!!!

Final Score: This game goes to 11! Unfortunately, this review only goes to a 10 .

Reviewer's Score: 10/10, Originally Posted: 07/09/01, Updated 07/09/01
©@©™

TVC15

  • Laugh when you can, it’s cheap medicine -LB
  • Senior Member
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #11 on: January 04, 2008, 05:03:18 AM »
I liked Azure Dreams, too, when it first came out.  That was before the Mysterious Dungeon games had a presence at all here.

serge

CajoleJuice

  • kill me
  • Icon
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #12 on: January 04, 2008, 05:05:11 AM »
In case you were wondering what the greatest show in history is:

Quote
Well, I'm officially on the 24 train again. That show is the greatest in history. I missed 3 episodes, but after tonight, I'm right back in. Why did
spoiler (click to show/hide)
Ryan Chapelle
[close]
have to die though? He's so awesome. I quote Tom, "He is just a blunt asshole." I don't have much else to say. 24 rules.
AMC

Ichirou

  • Merry Christmas
  • Senior Member
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #13 on: January 04, 2008, 05:09:49 AM »
I liked Azure Dreams a lot because it was the first dungeon hack-type game I'd played.  Then Torneko and Chocobo's Dungeon 2 came out in the US, and both of those were better than Azure Dreams...
PS4

Phoenix Dark

  • I got no game it's just some bitches understand my story
  • Senior Member
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #14 on: January 04, 2008, 05:11:55 AM »
I’m not going to give out the secret. It’s going to be very fun; wait
until E3. Nintendo is going to roll out a trojan horse: something that
looks innocent and weak and them bam, it will be unveiled. Just don’t
make up your mind on the first day of E3.

Another thing I forgot to mention was on the backward compatibility;
apparently the Nintendo’s new console will be able to play the games
from past consoles such as GC, N64, SNES, and yes NES. I believe this
feature shall intrigue many people out there and could possibly lead to
what I call “New Classics” so look forward to that. For now I have to
seriously catch some shut eye E3 will be here soon enough.

My credibility will be proven on May 19th. I have already given you a
hint about what will happen in the next few weeks. Pay close attention
to some of the Nintendo related stories that will begin to pop up. So
far, many have already been reported. Pay attention. And on the 19th,
don’t automatically try to write me off. There is a big suprise in
store for everyone. I’ve said that 100 times, but I can’t stress it
enough.

010

TVC15

  • Laugh when you can, it’s cheap medicine -LB
  • Senior Member
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #15 on: January 04, 2008, 05:13:15 AM »
I forget what exactly, but there was some element in Azure Dreams that really prevented me from digging in.  IIRC, it had a kind of half-assed translation, and maybe it was younger me, but I remember being somewhat tougher than the Mysterious Dungeon games, in general.  I can like, blow through Chocobo, Torneko, Pokemon. . .Azure Dreams and Nightmare of Druaga I remember as tougher, though.
serge

Ichirou

  • Merry Christmas
  • Senior Member
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #16 on: January 04, 2008, 05:17:16 AM »
I forget what exactly, but there was some element in Azure Dreams that really prevented me from digging in.  IIRC, it had a kind of half-assed translation, and maybe it was younger me, but I remember being somewhat tougher than the Mysterious Dungeon games, in general.  I can like, blow through Chocobo, Torneko, Pokemon. . .Azure Dreams and Nightmare of Druaga I remember as tougher, though.

Equipment broke, and quite often...that was a huge fucking pain.  The only equipment that didn't break was the gold sword (maybe gold shield? I don't remember if the character could equip a shield), which was really weak and could only be upgraded by finding extremely rare red sand to polish it with.
PS4

TVC15

  • Laugh when you can, it’s cheap medicine -LB
  • Senior Member
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #17 on: January 04, 2008, 05:18:13 AM »
Ok, that sounds familiar.  I also remember monster ability points or spell points or whatever being on the low side of things.

I should load it up on my PSP.
serge

Ichirou

  • Merry Christmas
  • Senior Member
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #18 on: January 04, 2008, 05:24:36 AM »
The game had about 40 floors and I think I got to the 27th or so before I gave up on the game...I didn't even mess around much with monster creation and basically stuck to the default monster you get at the start of the game.  I did finish almost half of the quests to please the various female characters in the village (one of the markers of progress in the game's almost non-existent story).
PS4

Powerslave

  • Senior Member
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #19 on: January 04, 2008, 05:28:54 AM »
Here's a post that actually holds up very well imo:

Quote
my list-o-suck checklist for a "successful" movie:

- EXPLOSIONS, whenever and where ever it is possible. Each explosion in the
movie adds up a $10 million dollar to the total profits of the movie. So,
remember Hollywood, Put a lot of them in your amazingly mindblowing movies.

-Use infinite amounts of "quick-shots". Quick-shots are those type of shots
where you see 3, 4 5 or more frames quickly after each-other. You see these
type of shots usually in fighting scenes. For instance, whenever someone
punches somebody, you will see the punch even before it lands from 3 different
angles in under 1 second. And when the punch finally lands your mind has
become so screwed up you don't know if the guy actually managed to hit him
or an airplane flew above your head. The purpose of these shots is to fool
you into thinking that the scene is "intense" and "ALIVE" and "XTREME". It's
totally dull...uhm I mean YEAH WE LOVE THEM

-ALWAYS have one funny/sarastic character in your movies. So that we (the
brilliant audience who like this crap) can take a moment out of the INTENSE
scenes of the movie and can laugh at a joke. Cause after all, we want a
movie that has ALL genre's in it right? Screw genre's, combined genre's 4
life! Oh, and an advice, perform these jokes in the middle of an action
scene where we will see a zoom-up of the character's face and where he says
something like "oh sweet mother of Jesus.."
Excellent.

CajoleJuice

  • kill me
  • Icon
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #20 on: January 04, 2008, 05:34:36 AM »
Are you Michael Bay?
AMC

rodi

  • Crotch Digger
  • Member
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #21 on: January 04, 2008, 09:53:00 AM »
Fanfictions, lol.  :(

PhoenixWright

  • Saved the GAF-Hate Thread
  • Junior Member
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #22 on: January 04, 2008, 09:58:52 AM »
-ALWAYS have one funny/sarastic character in your movies. So that we (the
brilliant audience who like this crap) can take a moment out of the INTENSE
scenes of the movie and can laugh at a joke. Cause after all, we want a
movie that has ALL genre's in it right? Screw genre's, combined genre's 4
life! Oh, and an advice, perform these jokes in the middle of an action
scene where we will see a zoom-up of the character's face and where he says
something like "oh sweet mother of Jesus.."
Excellent.

Someone edit that avatar to have explosions before zooming in on the face of the older guy.

Edit: The only thing on my Gamefaqs contributor page from before 12/08/00 (the day I turned 20, yes, I'm an old geezer.)

http://www.gamefaqs.com/console/snes/file/588634/5597
« Last Edit: January 04, 2008, 10:12:17 AM by PhoenixWright »

Gay Boy

  • McAmnesty
  • Senior Member
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #23 on: January 04, 2008, 10:14:56 AM »
The ramblings of myself as a 15 year old Nintendo fanboy will haunt me forever!  :lol It was fun though.
hib

Beezy

  • Senior Member
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #24 on: January 04, 2008, 10:45:31 AM »
When I was in 7th or 8th grade, I had to write something like what I thought about the president. I don't remember the actual assignment. Anyway, I was tired that night and I didn't wanna do it, so I wrote some crap about how he stupid and he should probably be assassinated. I went to sleep right afterwards with the paper right next to me and my mother saw it. She threw it away, woke me up, and made me write something different. :lol

Tauntaun

  • I'm cute, you should be too.
  • Senior Member
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #25 on: January 04, 2008, 11:05:58 AM »
When I was in 7th or 8th grade, I had to write something like what I thought about the president. I don't remember the actual assignment. Anyway, I was tired that night and I didn't wanna do it, so I wrote some crap about how he stupid and he should probably be assassinated. I went to sleep right afterwards with the paper right next to me and my mother saw it. She threw it away, woke me up, and made me write something different. :lol

That's mah boy! :gun

In HS I used to draw these comics called "The Adventures of Penis-Man" and they'd be this giant penis (with a cape) going around and shoving himself up/down the nose/throat of teachers that pissed me off.  My friend thought it was hilarious.  I'm awesome.  :)
:)

Beezy

  • Senior Member
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #26 on: January 04, 2008, 11:45:39 AM »
You're crazy. :lol

Powerslave

  • Senior Member
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #27 on: January 04, 2008, 12:42:35 PM »
Quote from: PhoenixWright
Someone edit that avatar to have explosions before zooming in on the face of the older guy.

This might just work!



Powerslave

  • Senior Member
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #28 on: January 04, 2008, 12:46:11 PM »
Ok, onto more embarrasing stuff.. here's a rant I made about Steam from when it first came out  :lol

Quote
I got kinda good at 1.5 and I was just pwning everybody. I was almost always
ranked 1st or 2nd in the server. I had mastered the m4 and ak47. But then
the sad news came that you HAD to upgrade to the ****ty 1.6 version where
you had to download a ****in 700 mb file.
I hate steam. Why is it SO DAMN BIG? 700 mb's while the original CS just had
300....wow..

my schedule:

1. Opening Steam

Takes about a whole minute


2. Clicking "Play CS"

after clicking, my pc just starts to RAMBLE and goes on a 100% full force
powerlevel super saiyan 3 to generate the power needed to open CS. My screen
turns black while the loud sound within my pc continues

Takes about 2 or 3 whole minutes

3. Finally, after waiting for hours, the main screen is launched. Now lets
find a server. Because of my favorites keeps getting ****ed over from time
to time, I usually have to keep searching manually from the server list. I
usually play Deathmatch. So I scroll through the WHOLE list of dust servers
and try to find the word "deathmatch" in it.

takes about  6 minutes

4. Yay, finally found ONE DM server. Lets get into the server!

taked about 2,5 minutes and after that I see the message "Timed Out".
I ALWAYS get this the first time I connect to a server.

5. Sigh lets reconnect.....So after 3 minutes I finally get in the server
and guess what? = a MAPCHANGE. YES they changed the map to DE_TRAIN. The
most dumbest and worst map ever created for a game in history. I curse
everybody in the server and disconnect.

6. Guess what, I have to refresh the WHOLE list of servers I just scrolled
too because it was an eternity ago since I looked through it. Then I see
another "DM" server and connect to it. I get in the server and then
immediately after playing 2 rounds I get to see the VOTE for choosing the
next map. Godddd I get soooo pissed. I choose "extend map" but Im usually
the only one who chooses that. The other morons vote for BS maps like
DE_TRAIN or DE_INFERNO.

ahh **** it...i could go on forever. **** Steam and **** Valve

lordmaji

  • It's a joke, not a dick, so don't take it so hard!
  • Senior Member
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #29 on: January 04, 2008, 01:21:19 PM »
:lol :lol :lol I need to find the letter I wrote my "homie" when he was in juvy back in 96. :lol It was horrible.
:-[

Madrun Badrun

  • twin-anused mascot
  • Senior Member
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #30 on: January 04, 2008, 02:30:07 PM »
pretty much everything Ive written to a girl I like, ever

i burned them

edit: burned the writings that is

 :lol

me too.

Bloodwake

  • Legend in his own mind
  • Senior Member
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #31 on: January 04, 2008, 03:00:08 PM »
I have piles of paper journals from sophomore year of high school along with a ton of LiveJournal entries that I'm embarrassed about.
HLR

Ichirou

  • Merry Christmas
  • Senior Member
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #32 on: January 04, 2008, 03:01:06 PM »
The ramblings of myself as a 15 year old Nintendo fanboy will haunt me forever!  :lol It was fun though.

In about five years, you'll think the same thing about your current distinguished mentally-challenged posts on this board.
PS4

Ichirou

  • Merry Christmas
  • Senior Member
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #33 on: January 04, 2008, 03:02:25 PM »
When I was in 7th or 8th grade, I had to write something like what I thought about the president. I don't remember the actual assignment. Anyway, I was tired that night and I didn't wanna do it, so I wrote some crap about how he stupid and he should probably be assassinated. I went to sleep right afterwards with the paper right next to me and my mother saw it. She threw it away, woke me up, and made me write something different. :lol

That's mah boy! :gun

In HS I used to draw these comics called "The Adventures of Penis-Man" and they'd be this giant penis (with a cape) going around and shoving himself up/down the nose/throat of teachers that pissed me off.  My friend thought it was hilarious.  I'm awesome.  :)

HOLY SHIT BIZARRO

I did the same thing! Only my character was called Captain Crazycock. :o
PS4

Powerslave

  • Senior Member
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #34 on: January 04, 2008, 06:59:31 PM »
After the millionth FF7 "what would you want in a remake" topic I wrote this

Quote
ok lets go.....

1. I want Cloud's appearance to be COMPLETELY redone. He should get new
outfits and I want the ability to change clothes and hairstyle by visiting
local barber and clothes-shops. Same goes for all characters.

2. Fully redone town-ex/interiors with different graphics.

3. 20 extra summons and 30 new magic materia's.

4. give us the ability to change the battle system, adjust it ourself.
Create bosses and attacks. Create Summons, adjust the storyline. etc. you
know, the usual stuff....

5. 5 new maincharacters, and 3 secret characters.

6. Voice acting, I would love to see Lance Bass back again doing Seph's
voice. And hire someone like Justin Timberlake to do Cloud's voice.
maybe Jessica Simpson to do Aeris, dont know..too much talent to choose from

7. More minigames, sidequests, better chocobo's. At least 200 new enemies,
new extra additional storyline after you complete the game.Like quests in
Space to find out where Jenova came from.

8. being able to attach the Sister Ray/Midgar Cannon to Barret's arm.

9. 4 new overworld vehicles. Like a bycicle, three-wheeler, scooter,
spaceshuttle, tank etc.

10. EVERY SINGLE NPC character in the world must change outfits the next
time you visit a town. And they must say completely new things EVERY TIME
you talk to them. I want to have long convo's with them. Oh and they should
be able to join the team too.

i would like that..

Ichirou

  • Merry Christmas
  • Senior Member
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #35 on: January 04, 2008, 07:07:26 PM »
That's my wishlist for the US version of Sakura Taisen!  I want Jessica Simpson to do Sakura's voice!
PS4

Van Cruncheon

  • live mas or die trying
  • Banned
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #36 on: January 04, 2008, 07:08:08 PM »
ff7 really inspired the worst from folks!
duc

Ichirou

  • Merry Christmas
  • Senior Member
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #37 on: January 04, 2008, 07:14:38 PM »
But, y'know...even worse than everything that's been posted in this thread is Miles Trahan's action movie screenplay.

Anybody want the link to it?  :-*
PS4

Robo

  • Senior Member
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #38 on: January 04, 2008, 07:20:45 PM »
I wonder if "Sister Ray" was referencing The Velvet Underground...

I'm sure as hell not playing it again to find out.
obo

Himu

  • Senior Member
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #39 on: January 04, 2008, 07:22:05 PM »
any ff7 related teenager post regarding it being the best game ever
IYKYK

Powerslave

  • Senior Member
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #40 on: January 04, 2008, 07:22:16 PM »
I wonder if "Sister Ray" was referencing The Velvet Underground...

I'm sure as hell not playing it again to find out.

It's the Junon Cannon moved over to Midgar. They nicknamed it the Sister Cannon after that.

Powerslave

  • Senior Member
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #41 on: January 04, 2008, 07:23:06 PM »
Just so you guys know, I'm only posting the better ones, if I were to post one of the worst ones there's no doubt I would get IP-banned from this site just because of the sheer suckness :lol

Phoenix Dark

  • I got no game it's just some bitches understand my story
  • Senior Member
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #42 on: January 04, 2008, 08:03:19 PM »
ff7 really inspired the worst from folks!

It's the anti OOT
010

CajoleJuice

  • kill me
  • Icon
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #43 on: January 04, 2008, 08:25:00 PM »
I never played FF7
AMC

bud

  • a smudge of excrement on a tissue surging out to sea with a million tons of raw sewage
  • Senior Member
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #44 on: January 04, 2008, 08:27:28 PM »
it's the only rpg i've ever played. i never even got past the first disc.
zzz

Phoenix Dark

  • I got no game it's just some bitches understand my story
  • Senior Member
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #45 on: January 04, 2008, 08:28:39 PM »
Quote
I went to see Star Wars Episode 3 at the midnight opening show. Here is my story (this is from another board so you guys won't know some of the people mentioned in it, lol.)

First off, My adventure:

I arrived at the theater at about 10pm, and got in line ten minutes later. While in the line I was surrounded by dressed up fools and other oddities. It was just a great atmosphere. Everyone was pumped. I got into the show at 10:30, and quickly I found Justin (Bigmeat). The place was packed, and there was a feel in the room that was very cool. Everyone was ready to be rocked. As we waited there was this total tool sitting behind us talking about the Star Wars history he knew based on "books." Needless to say, he was annoying. Then he started talking about the PS3 like a Sony PR person, lol. He didn't know what he was talking about ("Xbox 360 wont support HD, it's not powerful enough...the cell is the most advanced technology in entertainment history. Nothing will surpass it for another 10 years..."). I wanted to invite him to the boards (Bunkerforums.com) so he could terrorize everyone, but I didn't.

Then someone got everyone to quiet down and sing happy birthday for his friend. Pretty funny moment, lol.

At about 11 everyone started humming the Star Wars theme music in unision. Very cool!

11:30 - People are getting restless. I've waited forever to see this movie, and now I was a mere 30min away from seeing it!

The place is totally packed now, and some of the clerks came in and told us that the movie would start in half an hour. The dude got an ovation, lol! Then they brought snacks into the theater and started selling them to people in their seats. Awesome, especially for lazy people like me.

12: IT'S TIME! The trailers start rolling, and everyone is pumped!!!


I went in with many doubts, to say the least. Ep. 1 and 2 really disappointed me, and they really illistrated Lucus' decision to put amazing visuals over acting. In Ep 3, there are still many bad lines and poor acting. Hayden's dialogue is better, but still not up to par. There were instances where everyone just laughed at some of his idiotic lines ("you are either with me or my enemy"). The voice overs of the aliens and robots was also poor; it sounded like cheesy video game voices on many ocasions.

That's all the bad stuff, lol. Now to business. Is Ep 3 a great movie? Yes. Is it better than Ep 1&2? By far. Is it a brilliant ROTK-like ending to Star Wars? Not quite. The story is truly stunning, and the visuals are second to none. Some of the action scenes took my breath away. I loved the way it totally fit into the other movies. It ties up many loose ends. And, like the original, it has many great moments. The final duel between Anakin and Obi Wan is easily one of the best action scenes I've ever seen. Anakin's fall to the dark side is detailed in a descriptive way. I have never seen a character so cruel and sinister. Some of the things he does will blow you away. At the same time, you kind of feel sympathetic for him. In all three movies, it is clear that Anakin's emotions are far too strong. He can't let go of people, and he shows in all three movies that he will do anything to "bring back" his loved ones. He clearly thinks he is doing to right thing in the movie.

Palpatine comes off as a great villian as well. But Obi Wan really suprised me. In this movie, you see the Obi Wan of the original movies. He is the perfect Jedi Master. And then there's Yoda...what can I say? Yoda owns so much in this movie it's hilarious. R2 D2 also proves that he's a beast as well, lol.

Overall, it is a very good movie. Not the greatest way to end the saga, but it comes close. I highly recommend you see this movie. SWEEEET! PHOENIX, OUT! cool-smiley-030.gif

btw, I had a three hour class the next day. Tough, to say the least. It was worth it though.

 :yuck :-\ :'(
« Last Edit: January 04, 2008, 08:33:59 PM by Phoenix Dark »
010

Gay Boy

  • McAmnesty
  • Senior Member
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #46 on: January 04, 2008, 08:38:59 PM »
PD that was a year and a half ago you werent a teenager!
hib

Phoenix Dark

  • I got no game it's just some bitches understand my story
  • Senior Member
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #47 on: January 04, 2008, 08:40:26 PM »
Here's something from 2004

Quote
Here's a funny game we play on my site, The "During Sex" Game cool-smiley-030.gif

Rules: What you do is think of a funny lyric of a song and add "during sex" to the end of the lyric, thus changing the song's meaning.

Examples:

Jesus loves the little children, during sex

I'll look at all the lonely people, during sex

Just a little bit of sugar makes the medicine go down, during sex

Another Hole in the Head, during sex

I'm finding it harder to be a gentlemen, during sex.

I shot the sherrif, during sex

She's got a light skinned friend who looks like Michael Jackson, during sex

Wake me up before I go go, during sex (hehe)

Send a letter to my unborn child, during sex

One little victory, during sex

Hit Between the Eyes, during sex (...)

Puff the magic dragon, during sex

 :-\
010

Madrun Badrun

  • twin-anused mascot
  • Senior Member
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #48 on: January 04, 2008, 08:54:05 PM »
Puff the Magic Dragon, during sex


 :lol :lol :lol :lol  thats so goddamn stupid I don't know what to say.   

The Sceneman

  • Did my wife send you?
  • Senior Member
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #49 on: January 04, 2008, 10:01:02 PM »
After the millionth FF7 "what would you want in a remake" topic I wrote this

Quote
ok lets go.....

1. I want Cloud's appearance to be COMPLETELY redone. He should get new
outfits and I want the ability to change clothes and hairstyle by visiting
local barber and clothes-shops. Same goes for all characters.

2. Fully redone town-ex/interiors with different graphics.

3. 20 extra summons and 30 new magic materia's.

4. give us the ability to change the battle system, adjust it ourself.
Create bosses and attacks. Create Summons, adjust the storyline. etc. you
know, the usual stuff....

5. 5 new maincharacters, and 3 secret characters.

6. Voice acting, I would love to see Lance Bass back again doing Seph's
voice. And hire someone like Justin Timberlake to do Cloud's voice.
maybe Jessica Simpson to do Aeris, dont know..too much talent to choose from

7. More minigames, sidequests, better chocobo's. At least 200 new enemies,
new extra additional storyline after you complete the game.Like quests in
Space to find out where Jenova came from.

8. being able to attach the Sister Ray/Midgar Cannon to Barret's arm.

9. 4 new overworld vehicles. Like a bycicle, three-wheeler, scooter,
spaceshuttle, tank etc.

10. EVERY SINGLE NPC character in the world must change outfits the next
time you visit a town. And they must say completely new things EVERY TIME
you talk to them. I want to have long convo's with them. Oh and they should
be able to join the team too.

i would like that..

 :lol

200 new enemies!
#1

Powerslave

  • Senior Member
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #50 on: January 04, 2008, 10:34:54 PM »
Was that seriously the line who seemed the most 'out there' for you? :lol


Madrun Badrun

  • twin-anused mascot
  • Senior Member
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #51 on: January 04, 2008, 10:35:54 PM »
Would you be satisfied with only 199 new enemies Slave? 

Powerslave

  • Senior Member
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #52 on: January 04, 2008, 10:36:53 PM »
I would be more pissed than ever cause it would show they strictly did it to piss me off.

xnikki118x

  • Hanson Defense Force
  • Senior Member
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #53 on: January 05, 2008, 03:22:54 AM »
I used to write angsty poetry. From age 10 to 15 I was a tortured soul lol.
:-*

Ichirou

  • Merry Christmas
  • Senior Member
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #54 on: January 05, 2008, 03:23:18 AM »
I used to write angsty poetry. From age 10 to 15 I was a tortured soul lol.

Post it please. :D
PS4

CajoleJuice

  • kill me
  • Icon
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #55 on: January 05, 2008, 03:24:03 AM »
PD that was a year and a half ago you werent a teenager!

Isn't he only 20?
AMC

Himu

  • Senior Member
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #56 on: January 05, 2008, 03:24:55 AM »
I used to write angsty poetry. From age 10 to 15 I was a tortured soul lol.

A TORTURED SOUL?!!?
IYKYK

xnikki118x

  • Hanson Defense Force
  • Senior Member
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #57 on: January 05, 2008, 03:25:54 AM »
I used to write angsty poetry. From age 10 to 15 I was a tortured soul lol.

Post it please. :D

Doubtful. :) Even though I still have all my notebooks and journals, I've never shown them to anyone. Ever.
:-*

Van Cruncheon

  • live mas or die trying
  • Banned
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #58 on: January 05, 2008, 03:26:41 AM »
i have written many, many terrible things. things that bring me shame in the dark hours of the night. none of them are as awful as monsters and madmen by miles bk trahan, but that does not let me sleep any easier.
duc

demi

  • cooler than willco
  • Administrator
Re: Dumb things you wrote as a teenager
« Reply #59 on: January 05, 2008, 03:26:57 AM »
I used to write angsty poetry. From age 10 to 15 I was a tortured soul lol.

Post it please. :D

Doubtful. :) Even though I still have all my notebooks and journals, I've never shown them to anyone. Ever.

No wonder you listen to Juliana Theory, don't worry, we are all tortured souls begging to be freed
fat