Author Topic: Burnout: Paradise. A Review!  (Read 1245 times)

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GilloD

  • TAKE THE LIFE OF FRED ASTAIRE. MAKE HIM PAY. TRANSFER HIS FAME TO YOU.
  • Senior Member
Burnout: Paradise. A Review!
« on: March 05, 2008, 10:40:09 PM »
Hour one: This is great! Burnout is awesome in HD! The soundtrack is the worst yet, but whatever!

Hour two: Car variety is nice, I'm making swift progress and the city is big and pretty!

Hour three: PARKING GARAGE!

Hour four: Woo! Class B and the crashes are purty!

Hour five: Okay, got some more cars!

Hour six: What am I doing?

Hour seven: Why am I still playing?

The open world idea is a disaster for the series. It sounds great on paper and it plays great for 4 or 5 hours, but it's almost impossible to "master" the track when the track is like 10 square miles. I can't take a shortcut I can't see and given that the game's average speed is 160 mph, I can't see shit. I liked the game well enough, but the thrill of running a course over and over, really learning it in and out, is gone. I recognize stuff, but not nearly well enough to establish any kind of relationship with the material. A shame because it looks great and plays great and the cars are pretty and diverse, but the core gameplay has never been more boring. WIthout more courses to look forward to, what's the point in just accruing cars? Not to mention that road rage has never been simpler: Turn out the boost and whack a quarter panel and you're set. I regularly had 10-15 streaks and I'm terrible at this game.

Also: Who the fuck took out the biggest crash mode? Way to ruin the party. "Showtime" mode fuckin' blows, I can just keep hitting A and hopping down the road, which looks fucking stupid and isn't even fun. This game is a victim of diminishing returns, every hour is more boring than the last. A giant shame.
wha

Eel O'Brian

  • Southern Permasexual
  • Senior Member
Re: Burnout: Paradise. A Review!
« Reply #1 on: March 05, 2008, 10:42:20 PM »
I lost interest about a week ago, close to getting my burnout license and can't win a race to save my ass

maybe i should try it out online

but i don't like online people

hmmm what to do
sup

GilloD

  • TAKE THE LIFE OF FRED ASTAIRE. MAKE HIM PAY. TRANSFER HIS FAME TO YOU.
  • Senior Member
Re: Burnout: Paradise. A Review!
« Reply #2 on: March 05, 2008, 10:42:40 PM »
Also, that clicky turn signal noise needs to be a hundred times louder.
wha

Joe Molotov

  • I'm much more humble than you would understand.
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Re: Burnout: Paradise. A Review!
« Reply #3 on: March 05, 2008, 10:59:58 PM »
It was pretty sweet at first, but I got bored with it quick.
©@©™

demi

  • cooler than willco
  • Administrator
Re: Burnout: Paradise. A Review!
« Reply #4 on: March 06, 2008, 01:39:23 AM »
told ya so

crap
fat

TVC15

  • Laugh when you can, it’s cheap medicine -LB
  • Senior Member
Re: Burnout: Paradise. A Review!
« Reply #5 on: March 06, 2008, 01:47:43 AM »
Play it online.  Playing online with friends makes it about 10x better.  Even if you're playing with, like, Willco.
serge

The Fake Shemp

  • Ebola Carrier
Re: Burnout: Paradise. A Review!
« Reply #6 on: March 06, 2008, 01:48:43 AM »
 :'(
PSP

MrAngryFace

  • I have the most sensible car on The Bore
  • Senior Member
Re: Burnout: Paradise. A Review!
« Reply #7 on: March 06, 2008, 03:58:56 AM »
Yet fuk morans play GTA like its all original and fresh.

"LOL I RAN OVAR HOOKAR AND DRESS STREET OH SHIT FLY 40 HOURS IM distinguished mentally-challenged fellow"
o_0

drew

  • sy
  • Senior Member
Re: Burnout: Paradise. A Review!
« Reply #8 on: March 06, 2008, 04:12:24 AM »
Hour six: What am I doing?

Hour seven: Why am I still playing?

I'd be saying the same thing if I found myself playing videogames for 7 fucking hours.   :lol


Beezy

  • Senior Member
Re: Burnout: Paradise. A Review!
« Reply #9 on: March 06, 2008, 04:27:11 AM »
Play it online.  Playing online with friends makes it about 10x better.  Even if you're playing with, like, Willco.
You fucks are never online!

FatalT

  • Senior Member
Re: Burnout: Paradise. A Review!
« Reply #10 on: March 06, 2008, 04:43:33 AM »
I love Burnout Paradise.

CajoleJuice

  • kill me
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Re: Burnout: Paradise. A Review!
« Reply #11 on: March 06, 2008, 05:59:16 AM »
Play it online.  Playing online with friends makes it about 10x better.  Even if you're playing with, like, Willco.
You fucks are never online!

I've played with either TVC or Willco about a half-dozen times. We just play way too late for most people in the EST timezone. I'm addicted to the game, but there's still plenty of shit that pisses me off.

Oh, and the lack of local multiplayer is fucking disgusting. I'm sick of 360 games seemingly ignoring that people still play games together IN PERSON.
AMC

Beezy

  • Senior Member
Re: Burnout: Paradise. A Review!
« Reply #12 on: March 06, 2008, 06:59:35 AM »
Oh, and the lack of local multiplayer is fucking disgusting. I'm sick of 360 games seemingly ignoring that people still play games together IN PERSON.
That's my biggest problem with this game. Burnout 3 is one of my nephew's favorite games and I can't even play it with him. We have to fuckin' take turns in a racing game.

MrAngryFace

  • I have the most sensible car on The Bore
  • Senior Member
Re: Burnout: Paradise. A Review!
« Reply #13 on: March 06, 2008, 10:17:06 AM »
lol, 'in person'
o_0