Chapter One-
It was another ordinary day in town of RippleSqueak, and what I mean by that is it was another completely pointless and stupid day in the town of RippleSqueak. Tortimer actually sold his first work-out video, teaching you how farting is a great exercise for attracting women, Pate won the ugliest Animal Crossing charater award, and Tiffany threw rocks at orphans. Now we are going to see what the heck is going on at Nookingtons...
"Timmy! Go and clean the bathroom!" commanded Nook.
"But we don't have bathrooms! All the animals crap on the floor! You've owned this shop for 20 years yet don't know where animals crap themselves?!" cried Timmy.
"I'VE NEVER SEEN ANY CRAP ON THE FLOOR!"
"I know why you've haven't seen your wonderful crap," said Tommy entering the room, "Harriet always eats it."
"Oh, so that's why she is so fat, brown, and ugly!" said Nook in shock.
"Why are you commanding us the clean the place like people with cleaning disorders?" asked Timmy.
"You don't know?! The British are coming, the British are coming- Wait, no, the health inspector is coming, and he is going to tie us to chairs and throw bricks at us- Err, no, he's just going to inspect our humble shop, and we must make everything nice and tidy, or he will eat my secret twinkie stash- Umm, I mean throw us out..."
The twin raccons gasped. "Then where will we eat? Where will we sleep? Where will we secretly read Uncle Nook's diary- Umm, I mean read the Bible...?"
Tom Nook looked at them suspiciously and then resumed their child labor. "Now, you, Tommy, go and get Bob out of here before he eats that burrito and makes this place smell like some sewage plant." he said.
Tommy grabbed Bob and threw him out the window. "Wheeeeeeeee!" Bob shreiked. He crashed threw the Able Sisters window.
"OH DEAR GOD! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" cried Tom Nook as he hid behind a fishing pole ( How concealing... ). Timmy and Tommy ran into each other and fainted. Harriet came out of her work place to see what the heck was going on. "BOYS! BOYS! CLOSE YOUR EYES! IF YOU LOOK AT HER YOU'LL TURN TO STONE!"
And of course, Tommy looked at her and turned to stone.
"SOMEONE, FOR THE LOVE OF MICHEAL JACKSON, GO GIVE THAT BOY A MCDONALDS HAPPY MEAL TO CURE HIM!" cried Nook as the Able sisters entered the room. Sable had a Tom Nook shirt, a Tom Nook hat, Tom Nook's under-wear, and a boquet of roses. On the other hand, Mabel had a machine gun, a bullet proof vest that can electrify people, a hat with a lazer beam thing and 'I HATE TANOOKIS!' symbol on it, and sun glasses.
"Oh no! It's my two worst nightmares! Sable the stalker and Mabel the murder! Like a extremely bad fanfiction!" he cried.
"Tom Nook, will you marry me?" asked Sable. "Tom Nook, may I put your head in a blender then feed you to Bob?" asked Mabel.
"NO AND NO!" screamed Nook Nook. Suddenly, the door openend and the health inspector came in. Then the lights went off. There was a scream, a gun-shot, and someone farted. Then they clicked on, and all to be seen was everything exactly the same except for a dead health inspector and Tom Nook holding all of Mabel's ammo. "Oh no..."
