Those of us from rural south know how to handle toilet paper shortage. Eat more corn on the cob! The corn isn't important, but the cobs are free and work great! (Just don't flush them!) You're welcome!
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We should elect someone named Jesus
Am I accurate in assuming that this is what most of Kentucky is like? I can't even fathom getting that drunk. Speaking of which, I need a bottle of Carlo Rossi so I can record the Socio-Cast.
Luckily, these are the people who also don't vote.