god I think I just heard my roommate jerking off

[Madrun Badrun]

Hell also had the chick from Bible Black in it, the witch with the dick-vag, who also looks like brandnews sister.  In her hell form I mean.

[Phoenix Dark]

and so Malek was sodomized for 1,000 years, until as the prophesy says Satan was released from hell to terrorize the earth for a season

[CurseoftheGods]

Meanwhile, BrandNew's sister asked him about his new love interest.

[Bildi]

as Father Mike's penis glistened invitingly in the morning sun.  He gently swung it back and forth, inviting attention

[Flannel Boy]

as Father Mike's penis glistened invitingly in the morning sun.  He gently swung it back and forth, inviting attention

Satan roughly grabbed Father Mike's 3" long penis and reminded him that 162 is not a fail; in fact, the LSAT is not a pass/fail test.

[Madrun Badrun]

as Father Mike's penis glistened invitingly in the morning sun.  He gently swung it back and forth, inviting attention

Like a bird of paradise, with ruffed cravats, the man-dandy of Newfoundland, danced the night away with satan.  Satan made a funny about the lsat being a pass/fail test and they both laughed. 

[Flannel Boy]

Satan grabbed a large tree trunk and shoved it violently into Father Mike's second asshole.

[Phoenix Dark]

He then told Father Mike he would live if he could pass the GED; Father Mike died

[TVC15]

of syphilis.

[Madrun Badrun]

gotten from whiteman.  Who then died of AIDS.

[Flannel Boy]

gotten from whiteman.  Who then died of AIDS.

but not before using Father Mike's corpse as a hand puppet.

[Grecco]

This thread is awesome

[TVC15]

Meanwhile, back in Ohio, the cat wasn't going for the bait of Fancy Feast smeared all over demi's prone butthole.

[Flannel Boy]

Undaunted, Demi ran to the fridge, passing his reluctant cat, and grabbed some old cheddar cheese.

[Madrun Badrun]

Cheese he had made one fine summer day with his sodomite uncle in France. 

[Don Flamenco]

The uncle was a well known osteopath

[Flannel Boy]

Smelling the cheese, Demi was reminded of that warm, French summer day when his uncle pushed him off his wheelchair and dragged him to the farmhouse, where a large group of naked villagers were waiting.

[TVC15]

Decadence commenced as the villagers shoved dozens upon dozens of ortolans into demi's dumper.

[Flannel Boy]

As the birds struggled--flapping their wings, pecking away at Demi's insides--he was overcome with a feeling he had never known.

[TVC15]

Rabies.  An anomalous case of rabies contracted via bird.

[demi]

My story doesnt even have a bear in it, you guys are horrible literotica writers

[Flannel Boy]

The disease made him highly sensitive to touch, a fact his uncle soon learned as he grabbed Demi's hairy balls.

[TVC15]

Up until this day, demi had always hated France due to the lack of obese hairy men,  but rapidly-induced mania from the rabies was changing that.

[Flannel Boy]

"What are you surrender monkeys doing just standing there," he screamed, foam dripping from his face, "come closer and pee in my mouth!"

[Madrun Badrun]

* girgle girgle girlge gulp.

[demi]

"What are you surrender monkeys doing just standing there," he screamed, foam dripping from his face, "come closer and pee in my mouth!"

Peeing in mouth? That is all you came up with? smh atheists

[Howard Alan Treesong]

Off topic:

spoiler (click to show/hide)

(There's a really good Urusula K. Le Guin novella called "Nine Lives" about a person cloned into male and female clones to crew a starship for a long interstellar voyage. They fuck each other all the time and it's unclear if it's incest, masturbation, or something else entirely. Anyways, Brandnew's story reminds me of that.)

[close]

[Howard Alan Treesong]

"NO!" he shouted. "I need you to pee the WHITE pee!"

"In my mouth," he added sheepishly.

[Flannel Boy]

The uncle, tired of Demi's constant demands, grabbed his underwear and shoved it deep inside Demi's urine soaked mouth.

[tiesto]

then demi farted. Tommy Tallarico's soundtrack to Advent Rising was faintly playing in the background.

[Brehvolution]

Malek the story teller

Haven't laughed like that in a while.

[Bildi]

As they listened intently, an relentless bleating slowly drowned out the music.  "Sounds like the goats are ready for a milking" snorted the uncle, as he wiped some drool from the corners of demi's mouth.

[cool breeze]

I caught my old roommate jerking it before.  Just don't make a big deal about it or else next time he does it, you won't be a wake.

[Don Flamenco]

I caught my old roommate jerking it before.  Just don't make a big deal about it or else next time he does it, you won't be a wake.

isn't the idea to make him be more discrete about it...unless...

[Crushed]

suddenly, witches. the sorceresses waved their dildo wands at demi's weakened form, and instantly he began to grow hair and a snout

"ARAAHHH" he cried as he turned into a brown bear "this isn't what i meant"

but the witches paid no mind, as they were occupied with demi's uncle and the villagers. this enchantment caused the peasants' bellies to inflate until the men resembled fatted cows, and they shirts were bulging where large shitting dick-nipple breasts had grown

the goats suddenly became satyrs, and they began to roll the now-spherical peasants over to demi-bear

[Flannel Boy]

Before the angry Demi-bear could exact his revenge on the plump cows, two young, horny, American siblings--hand in hand--burst into the farmhouse.

[Great Rumbler]

The two Americans claimed, rather boldly, to be agents of a secret paramilitary organization working under the auspices of the newly formed Allied Security Initiative.

[Flannel Boy]

Although he was incredibly stupid, Demi disbelieved this tall tale; he knew that they had come to the farmhouse to make passionate, incestuous love.

[demi]

Magic and mystery,
Is part of his history,
Along with the secret,
Of demiberry juice.
His legend is growing,
He takes pride in knowing,
He'll fight for what's right,
In whatever he'll do.

Demibearrrrrr
Bouncing here and there and everywhere.
High adventure that's beyond compare,
He is the demibear

[Bildi]

Once he had completed singing his official themesong, Demibear proclaimed that while such a coupling would be perhaps be arousing under the right circumstances, such an action was morally ambiguous at best.  He furrowed his brow in a disapproving manner.

[Flannel Boy]

"Don't judge us," the boy said, looking down at his Bob Dylan t-shirt. "We love each other and that's all that matters!"

[Bildi]

Tears welled up in the boys eyes.  He reached into his pants and cupped his balls in his hand, desperately hoping it would comfort him as it did when he was a young child.

[Flannel Boy]

As the boy played with himself joylessly, Demi walked over to his startled sister and started to paw--literally--at her undeveloped chest.

[TakingBackSunday]

 :'(

[Greatness Gone]

And at that moment, Demi was raped by a masked man who was obviously Jake Gyllenhaal

[Flannel Boy]

Realizing that he was now a powerful bear who no longer had to put up with daily ass-rapings, Demi violently threw his attacker to the ground.

[Bildi]

Spurred on by the throbbing pain in his rectum from the daily ass-rapings, Demi thoroughly gored his attacker, and then turned towards the siblings with fresh blood still dripping from his paws.

A thin stream of urine began to run down the boy's leg.

[Flannel Boy]

His sister, used to watersports, quickly knelt down before the boy and began to lick his urine soaked legs.

[demi]

THEN MUCKHOLE CAME IN AND BEAT EVERYONE UP

[Howard Alan Treesong]

"Have either of you seen my copy of Advent Rising?" asked Demibear. Or rather, tried to ask - for he was a bear, incapable of human speech. The siblings heard naught but a series of guttural roars emerge from his powerful lungs.

"Please don't eat me, Mr. Bear!" shouted the girl. "For I am young and scrawny, and would not satisfy you."

Understanding, Demibear nodded slowly towards the shivering boy.

[Bildi]

With fear in his heart, the boy unleashed a torrent of golden pee, the sight of which caused the girl to do likewise.  The barn doors soon burst open and the three of them were swept away in a river of urine.

[Flannel Boy]

Drowning in a river of their own piss, believing this was the end, the siblings held each others hands. Just as they started saying their good-byes, the Kool-Aid-Man, riding on his surfboard, appeared out of nowhere.

"Oh Yeah," he said as he grabbed the horny siblings, "I'm going to rape some American children tonight."

[laesperanzapaz]

Just then, Night Man entered the room, his magnificent beard preceded his actual entry by several minutes.

[Flannel Boy]

Just then, Night Man entered the room, his magnificent penis preceded his actual entry by several minutes.

fixed

[drohne]

licking his bearchops in anticipation demibear shambled over to the smaller of the androgynous american teens and began to shred herhis unisex jeans with his clawed bearpaws when he noticed something that gave him bearpause: an extraordinary birthmark on the boygirl's buttocks

edit: oh wait i mistook the koolaid man for demibear. how many times have i told myself not to write collaborative erotic fanfiction when i'm half asleep

[Bildi]

As the birthmark glowed eerily, thunder rolled through the heavens, accompanied by the appearance of Malek's penis, arching heavenward like an upside-down rainbow. 

"Hold on tight" said Kool-Aid-Man as grabbed the siblings from under Demi's nose and directed his surfboard up the gigantic phallus with great velocity.

[TVC15]

Then Kosma came in and gave everyone AIDS.

[Bildi]

Except Malek's penis which had had the AIDS before so was now immune to it.

[drohne]

but this was a new strain of SUPER AIDS bred in the bumholes of thailand's cheapest transsexual prostitutes for which malek's penis's immunities proved to be no match. malek's gigantic penis ejaculated its dying last just as koolaid man crested its meatus causing him to lose grip of either brandnew or brandnew's sister nobody was really sure but in any case he or she was shot skyhigh in a monstrous gob of ejaculate and the teen who remained in koolaid man's grasp said 'no'

[TVC15]

Upon exposure to this vastly more bizarre strain of super AIDS, BrandNew and his Sister/Lover, both habitual crystal meth users, came down with one of the most most severe cases of the rarely seen and highly degenerative Shitting Dick Nipples Syndrome.  Between the two sets of shitting dick nipples and malek's chronically-ejaculating member, it was like there were several ice cream machines spraying all over the room.