wtf is twilight?!

[The Fake Shemp]

It looks like Eragon with vampires

[TakingBackSunday]

Just about the worst novel fad ever.  A bunch of fattie goth girls love this thing to death, and came out in nerd-drives the day Breaking Dawn came out.  I never had so many ugly girls offer me their number 

[Mr. Gundam]

Just about the worst novel fad ever.  A bunch of fattie goth girls love this thing to death, and came out in nerd-drives the day Breaking Dawn came out.  I never had so many ugly girls offer me their number 

It's also loved by ignored housewives.

[BlueTsunami]

People ranked on it on GAF and it was funny to see certain male posters come out of the woodwork and cry about not talking about a book you haven't read yet. If the movie is any indicator to the tone and characters in the book then omgawd. HOW DOES IT FEEL TO LOVE THE UNDEAD?  :'(

[Greatness Gone]

My very own holy bible.

[cool breeze]

say it

[demi]

The author cancelled her book because some of it was leaked, lulz

[BlueTsunami]

say it

VAMPIREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE 

[The Fake Shemp]

 

[cool breeze]

say it

VAMPIREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE 

OMG SO DRAMATIC

[max_cool]

People ranked on it on GAF and it was funny to see certain male posters come out of the woodwork and cry about not talking about a book you haven't read yet. If the movie is any indicator to the tone and characters in the book then omgawd. HOW DOES IT FEEL TO LOVE THE UNDEAD?  :'(

WTF? didn't Buffy run this shit into the ground? Whedon should sue or something

[The Fake Shemp]

This movie looks terrible.

How is it that once a year one of these "fads" comes out in the open.  It's like there's an underbelly of pop culture crap that builds up momentum and peaks, dragging its ugly head in front of my television screen.

[Phoenix Dark]

I love Harry Potter so I can't talk shit about anything

is it a romantic novel or mainly fantasy with romance?

[Greatness Gone]

Fantasy w/romance.

[OptimoPeach]

Just about the worst novel fad ever.  A bunch of fattie goth girls love this thing to death

This should be the Wikipedia description.

Shittiest pop culture craze since The Da Vinci Code.

[The Fake Shemp]

I think we should collectively write a romantic fantasy novel and published it under the pseudonym Caligula McMooseburger.

[BlueTsunami]

Dilema: Do you let the sexy teen Vampire convert you? So you can live together in twilight and vampirism! Which begs the question, I wonder if an old vampire couple is just as bad as the non-undead version  :'( So many question so little action 

[The Fake Shemp]

Old vampire couples don't exist because vampires don't age and you tire of having sex with the same person forever.  So then you bang some 17-year-old goth fattie with promises of Guitar Hero and Mountain Dew, but then suck her plasma till she passes out and go at her raw.

[BlueTsunami]

The age thing is true. I wonder how old the main vamp in this movie is. Looking like a 17 year old doesn't give you the right to bang other 17 year old when your 300 years old.  :'(

[Human Snorenado]

Just about the worst novel fad ever.  A bunch of fattie goth girls love this thing to death, and came out in nerd-drives the day Breaking Dawn came out.  I never had so many ugly girls offer me their number 

It's also loved by ignored housewives.

Is there another kind of housewife that I'm unaware of?

[HyperZoneWasAwesome]

I'd talk shit about this, but I've seen every Highlander movie on purpose, so I don't really have any credibility when it comes to shitty romantic fantasy series.

[Cormacaroni]

Gawd, didn't Anne Rice do this to death about 30 years ago?

[Great Rumbler]

Gawd, didn't Anne Rice do this to death about 30 years ago?

Everything old is new again.

[Joe Molotov]

Gawd, didn't Anne Rice do this to death about 30 years ago?

Now it's back, and in pog form!

[Eric P]

disregard

this is all you need to know

Inspiration

Meyer, an avid reader,[29] cites many novels as inspiration for the Twilight series, including Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë and Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery.[30] She also says that her writing is strongly influenced by music, and she posts "playlists" on her website of songs which specifically inspired her books. Bands included most often in her playlists are Muse, Blue October, My Chemical Romance, Coldplay, and Linkin Park.[

[cool breeze]

The age thing is true. I wonder how old the main vamp in this movie is. Looking like a 17 year old doesn't give you the right to bang other 17 year old when your 300 years old.  :'(

but he's still 17, he's just been 17 for a while.  Like any 17 year old boy he has raging hormones.

[BlackMage]

my sister is 28 and loves this book series to death. you should see her office. :scared

[Eric P]

The age thing is true. I wonder how old the main vamp in this movie is. Looking like a 17 year old doesn't give you the right to bang other 17 year old when your 300 years old.  :'(

but he's still 17, he's just been 17 for a while.  Like any 17 year old boy he has raging hormones.

but has never had an erection.

and chooses to spend eternity in high school?

[BlueTsunami]

my sister is 28 and loves this book series to death. you should see her office. :scared

You have a 28 year old sister? :zelda I was gonna make some joke about you having her sign up here but eh   If she looks anything like you though...  

[Tristam]

Fat ugly girls aren't the only ones obsessed with Twilight. There are some incredibly hot girls on campus who are pining over these distinguished effete vampires too. 

[xnikki118x]

The author cancelled her book because some of it was leaked, lulz

I heard about that lol. Don't show your book to anyone if you don't want it leaked!

I don't understand the Twilight fad. I never read them, but I'm not into vampires.

It's a series of books. Twilight, Eclipse, New Moon, and Breaking Dawn.

[The Fake Shemp]

That makes no sense, Harry Potter is basically Harry Potter for teenage girls.

[bork]

Old vampire couples don't exist because vampires don't age and you tire of having sex with the same person forever.  So then you bang some 17-year-old goth fattie with promises of Guitar Hero and Mountain Dew, but then suck her plasma till she passes out and go at her raw.

Have you considered turning this into a script?

[bork]

Bella Swan moves from Phoenix, Arizona, to Forks, Washington, to allow her mother, Renée, to travel with her new husband, Phil, a minor league baseball player. After moving to Forks, Bella finds herself involuntarily drawn to a mysterious, handsome boy, Edward Cullen, who turns out to be a vampire who drinks animal blood as opposed to human blood. They fall passionately in love, and must fight off a vampire from another clan who is drawn to drink Bella's blood. Bella escapes to Phoenix, Arizona, where she is tricked into confronting James, the sadistic vampire who wishes to kill her. She is mortally wounded, but Edward rescues her, and they return to Forks.

WTF, she ripped off that 80s movie My Best Friend Is A Vampire.

Bella and Edward get married, but their honeymoon is cut short by Bella's realization that she has become pregnant. Bella's pregnancy progresses at an extremely fast rate and makes her very weak. She nearly dies while giving birth to her and Edward's half-vampire-half-human daughter, Renesmee, but Edward injects Bella with his venom to save her life by turning her into a vampire. A vampire from another coven sees Renesmee and mistakes her for an "immortal child", the existence of which violates vampire rules, and informs the Volturi. The Cullens gather vampire witnesses who can verify that the child is not one of the immortal children. The Cullens and their witnesses convince the Volturi that Renesmee is not a danger to vampires or their secret, and they are left in peace.

"Renesmee." 



I'm not sure if I want to move back to the States now. 

[The Fake Shemp]

CUT MAH LIFE INTO PIECES
THIS IS MAH LAST RESORT
SUFOCASHUN
NO BREATHIN
DONT GIVE A &%$! IF I CUT MAH ARMS BLEEDIN

[Human Snorenado]

This is why women suck.  If you ask them something like "So what do you read?" you get told "Oh I read a lot!  Harry Potter and Twilight!"

 

[Great Rumbler]

People should at least read good vampire books:

[Human Snorenado]

good vampire books

DOES NOT COMPUTE!

[Great Rumbler]

good vampire books

DOES NOT COMPUTE!

They're out there!

There just aren't very many...

[Eric P]

good vampire books

DOES NOT COMPUTE!

anno dracula by kim newman

[modkennylaine]

NO ONE'S MENTIONING THE VAMPIRIC C-SECTION WHY DOES NO ONE MENTION THAT

Also, the author is a Mormon.

Also, she wants to get with the character she made up. The dude playing 'Edward' has this to say about it: ""I was convinced... that Stephenie was convinced... that she was Bella... and it was like a book that wasn't supposed to be published. And you're reading like, her sort of sexual fantasy. [...] I was like, This woman is mad. She's completely mad, and she's in love with her own fictional creation. And sometimes you'd like feel uncomfortable reading this thing. [...] It's kind of... like a sick pleasure.""

[Tundra]

I have been though a couple of shitty music tastes and clothing styles though the years (am almost 34 now), but been a goth from 1992-94 is the only thing I retroactively really feel ashamed now. I still like the music from back then, "Sisters of Mercy" was great, what's not to like about "Fields of the Nephilim" or "Death in June".

But this Gay Vampire thing surrounding gothdom in many of its incarnations over the years makes me wanna smash those people to death with the head of a dead parrot.

 

[Eric P]

thank god i was in it for the industrial side so i don't have any frilly shirts of shame

[Himu]

I keep seeing commercials for this shitty movie.

It looks like dragonball z with vampires lol

[modkennylaine]

I keep seeing commercials for this shitty movie.

It looks like dragonball z with vampires lol

You mean this one?

[Himu]

haha naw

the one I'm seeing has a bunch of goth chicks and shiet

[bork]

Also, she wants to get with the character she made up. The dude playing 'Edward' has this to say about it: ""I was convinced... that Stephenie was convinced... that she was Bella... and it was like a book that wasn't supposed to be published. And you're reading like, her sort of sexual fantasy. [...] I was like, This woman is mad. She's completely mad, and she's in love with her own fictional creation. And sometimes you'd like feel uncomfortable reading this thing. [...] It's kind of... like a sick pleasure.""

What.  The.  Fuck.

[bork]

haha naw

the one I'm seeing has a bunch of goth chicks and shiet

Like this?

[Himu]

ALMOST like that

[Bloodwake]

Twilight:

The difference between Harry Potter and Twilight is that at least some people in the literary community respect Harry Potter. Nobody respects twilight. It really is an Eragon quality story with no writing quality at all. Seriously, the premise itself is shit. Shit piled on top of shit.

Teenage girls just get hardons for vampire shit and cute mysterious guys. Unfortunately, being a cute mysterious guy in real life means that you are a stalker to the same group. Meaning that these bitches are dumb and want exactly what they actually hate. The writing is fucking horrible, but "it's so romantic." Just more proof that people have dumbed down shit to the point that people are beginning to accept shit as high writing and embrace it.

The movie looks like the fucking Covenant with vampires. HARRY POTTER IS MY WI-OTCH WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

[T-Short]

I love it when people write fiction surrounding an existing folklore, and just go on and fucking ignore standard staples for the sake of the plot. Through many books I've read, I seem to recall that Vampires cannot survive off of animal blood because its not rich enough in Iron.

I'm serious.

Anyways, this movie is shit.

Watch Let the Right One In instead.

I did so this weekend. Was OK. I hadn't read the book. My GF told me they left the nastiest shit from the book out of the movie, no surprise there

[fistfulofmetal]

man kristen stewart is hot

[Eric P]

I love it when people write fiction surrounding an existing folklore, and just go on and fucking ignore standard staples for the sake of the plot. Through many books I've read, I seem to recall that Vampires cannot survive off of animal blood because its not rich enough in Iron.

I'm serious.

Anyways, this movie is shit.

Watch Let the Right One In instead.

I did so this weekend. Was OK. I hadn't read the book. My GF told me they left the nastiest shit from the book out of the movie, no surprise there

But the stuff in the book wouldn't make it to film form ever.

As a Vampire movie, its easily one of the best ones in a long long time.

well now i'm curious

spoiler (click to show/hide)

she's a boy? i either missed that entirely in the movie or it happened when i snuck off to the bathroom

[close]

[xnikki118x]

Also, she wants to get with the character she made up. The dude playing 'Edward' has this to say about it: ""I was convinced... that Stephenie was convinced... that she was Bella... and it was like a book that wasn't supposed to be published. And you're reading like, her sort of sexual fantasy. [...] I was like, This woman is mad. She's completely mad, and she's in love with her own fictional creation. And sometimes you'd like feel uncomfortable reading this thing. [...] It's kind of... like a sick pleasure.""

What.  The.  Fuck.

Yeah, seriously.

[cool breeze]

are you afraid?

[cloudwalking]

Also, she wants to get with the character she made up. The dude playing 'Edward' has this to say about it: ""I was convinced... that Stephenie was convinced... that she was Bella... and it was like a book that wasn't supposed to be published. And you're reading like, her sort of sexual fantasy. [...] I was like, This woman is mad. She's completely mad, and she's in love with her own fictional creation. And sometimes you'd like feel uncomfortable reading this thing. [...] It's kind of... like a sick pleasure.""

What.  The.  Fuck.

Yeah, seriously.

hahaha wow. and some people put harry potter on the same tier as these books? sorry but harry potter reads like fucking Crime and Punishment compared to this tripe. shit i would rather read the $1 gas station romance novels with Fabio on the covers than force myself through reading twilight.

i haven't read any of the books in their entirety but i read the first two (or three? i honestly don't fucking remember) chapters of the first book (in english) at the bookstore and skimmed some excerpts in the middle. just that little bit was enough to turn me off, and i put it back in the wrong section in the hopes that no one would come across this monstrosity. it is literally worse than short stories i came up with in creative writing class in the 8th grade. i'm going to use a term that jarosh coined and neatly describe it as "literary diarrhea."

that actor's description is just about the most apt thing i have ever read describing the book. from reading about 30 pages i got the exact same feeling: it screams self-obsessed-author-FANFICTION which is why it doesn't surprise me why there are so many fat goth teen virgins getting themselves wet over the VAMPIRE ROMANCE.

[TVC15]

Speaking of writing, I am thinking of composing an EVILBORE CHRISTMAS STORY.  The idea I have is pretty awesome.  I think it will be a sort of thematic constitution to Evilbore.  The document that defines what it stands for.

[cloudwalking]

i'm gonna write a fucking romance novel with sexy gargoyles and some shit that's on par with preteen-authored fanfiction and make myself filthy rich

[Yeti]

All the dowdy bitches in my office are suddenly obsessed with this book/movie. It's spreading like herpes too.

[MyNameIsMethodis]

Fuck you guys, I will love this movie because I will be getting blown all throughout it.