so my torso is kinda gross; advice?

[recursivelyenumerable]

I'm still pretty skinny but recently have acquired a bit of a gut, and the combination isn't terribly appealing.  It's not THAT bad but I'd prefer to avoid the "malnourished pregnant woman" look so am looking to get in better shape.  Any recommendations beyond the basic exercise/eat lower-fat higher-carb stuff?

[Bocsius]

IExercise interface.

[muckhole]

Some cardio (not even a lot) and some crunches will do wonders. But especially the cardio, even if it's only a few minutes a day on a stationary bike.

[muckhole]

http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Massage-Your-Colon-for-Constipation-Relief&id=298062

I actually spit coffee.  

[recursivelyenumerable]

Are there actual real-world recreational activities that will work my chest and stomach muscles?  I'd rather level up through quests than through grinding, but when the fuck does anyone even use those muscles for anything?

[recursivelyenumerable]

Just drink water, no juice or soda and eat lots of veggies.

no soda and more vegetables I can do, but no juice?   

[Madrun Badrun]

Are there actual real-world recreational activities that will work my chest and stomach muscles?  I'd rather level up through quests than through grinding, but when the fuck does anyone even use those muscles for anything?

 

[Draft]

Are there actual real-world recreational activities that will work my chest and stomach muscles?  I'd rather level up through quests than through grinding, but when the fuck does anyone even use those muscles for anything?

Rowing.

Rock climbing.

Extreme missionary position.

Fist fights.

Just join a gym, start doing a whole body workout. Squat a lot.

You're half right, in that your chest muscles are kind of useless. At least compared to your legs or your back. But they look cool, so what are you gonna do?

[Bocsius]

Are there actual real-world recreational activities that will work my chest and stomach muscles?  I'd rather level up through quests than through grinding, but when does anyone even use those muscles for anything?

You can chop and carry wood for the elderly. Push cars up driveways to conserve gas and decrease carbon emissions.

[Phoenix Dark]

Some cardio (not even a lot) and some crunches will do wonders. But especially the cardio, even if it's only a few minutes a day on a stationary bike.

this

Find a way to include exercise into your daily schedule. For instance I wake up and do 100 crunches, and (try) to do 100 before I go to bed.

Try to walk or run more each day. It's cold outside now but I try to walk a few times a week. Running in winter time is too much for me, so I just walk really fast lol, preferably at night so I don't stand out too much

[recursivelyenumerable]

I actually walk a fair amount anyway, carrying a heavy bag around even.  My arms and legs are in pretty good shape.

[muckhole]

I actually walk a fair amount anyway, carrying a heavy bag around even.  My arms and legs are in pretty good shape.

Why not take up boxing? I realize it's real-world uses may be limited, but it will give you an activity to better yourself around. And no, you don't have to let big guys punch the shit out of you while you're learning.

[fistfulofmetal]

I couldn't believe it when I cut like 20lbs when i stopped drinking pop a few years back. It's surprisingly affective.

Recently I started using the bowflex we've had for awhile, doing the 10 basic exercises they recommend. And I do a few minutes on this old stationary bike we've also had for awhile

hopefully i keep up with it this time as I have a bad track record

[drew]

bag of milk with pepperonis for nips total

[Fresh Prince]

Try to walk or run more each day. It's cold outside now but I try to walk a few times a week. Running in winter time is too much for me, so I just walk really fast lol, preferably at night so I don't stand out too much

[duckman2000]

Push ups will give you the tits to go along with the gut

[Bildi]

Some cardio (not even a lot) and some crunches will do wonders. But especially the cardio, even if it's only a few minutes a day on a stationary bike.

I agree.  Walking briskly for 45 mins, or riding a bike or shadow boxing for even just 20 mins a day will work well.  A good time to exercise is before dinner so that your metabolism is up to help burn off dinner.  But really, any time is good.

Try to cut the snacking crap out of your diet if it's in your diet (like chips, soda, chocolate bars), and a general rule I use is to not eat things with more than 10% fat.  It's fine to eat things with more than 10% fat (like full cream as part of your meal), but just not constantly. 

Bear in mind sugar doesn't make you fat as such, but if there's sugar available your body will burn that instead of fat which is harder to burn.  So try to minimise high sugar stuff, especially around exercise time.

Crunches will help shape your torso and the strength you gain in your abdominals will improve your posture immensely.  You can always mix up your crunches into different types - there's lots of different muscles making up your abs and torso.

[recursivelyenumerable]

thanks for the interesting suggestions, guys.

[Loki]

 I'd rather level up through quests than through grinding

Awesome.

[demi]

you could wrestle muckhole and let him flex your butt

[Cormacaroni]

Hey look, it's another diet/exercise thread in which no-one appears to know wtf they're talking about!  

High carb/low fat? Are you shitting me? Which of those two do you think provokes an insulin response?

You can't find an activity that doesn't involve your torso? WTF? Have you tried standing up recently? Changing a light bulb? Picking something up from the ground? None of this happens without using your core muscles.

If you don't want to have a fat torso, you have to first not be fat period. Doing crunches won't help you anymore than any other exercise, and in fact will help a lot less than any exercise that uses your whole body (squatting, burpees, deadlifts, thrusters to name but a few). It is highly unlikely that doing a 100 crunches a day will blow up your abs to the extent that they actually protrude THROUGH the layer of blubber that currently surrounds them. Even if it did, you'd still be pear-shaped, and you'd look even more ridiculous 'cause your abs would be the only muscular part of your body!

Cutting out soda - if this wasn't already blatantly obvious to you, yes, do it. But after a while your body will adjust, and it'll stop working for you. Especially if you just start getting those junk calories from other, equally bad, sources.

Walking raises your metabolism to help you burn up your dinner better? Really? Do you realize how difficult it is to make a significant change in the rate of your metabolism, and how minimal the effects of doing so are? The calorific consequences of doing a super-intense workout on your metabolism post-workout are statistically inconsequential;  a walk is going to have no impact whatsoever apart from making you hungrier!

ah, just go read crossfit.com and ignore any further advice from gaming slugs. Unless they're me. Or Draft.

[recursivelyenumerable]

If you don't want to have a fat torso, you have to first not be fat period.

i'm not fat.  i mean, my ribs stick out.  unfortunately my belly does too.

how often do you stand up and sit down/change lightbulbs though?  i mean, most people don't change 1000 lightbulbs in a day.  those are one time activities, unlike walking/biking/carrying things which are sustained activities.

i already don't drink soda.

[duckman2000]

Play paintball

spoiler (click to show/hide)

buy equipment from me 

[close]

[Madrun Badrun]

If you don't want to have a fat torso, you have to first not be fat period.

i'm not fat.  i mean, my ribs stick out.  unfortunately my belly does too.

how often do you stand up and sit down/change lightbulbs though?  i mean, most people don't change 1000 lightbulbs in a day.  those are one time activities, unlike walking/biking/carrying things which are sustained activities.

i already don't drink soda.

I can see my ribs to and also have a belly.  at least I have hair that covers the unsightliness. 

[Cormacaroni]

If you don't want to have a fat torso, you have to first not be fat period.

i'm not fat.  i mean, my ribs stick out.  unfortunately my belly does too.

how often do you stand up and sit down/change lightbulbs though?  i mean, most people don't change 1000 lightbulbs in a day.  those are one time activities, unlike walking/biking/carrying things which are sustained activities.

i already don't drink soda.

Ah, the bleating of the person who wants to look great without doing anything different!

If you have a gut, you're fat, sorry. Unless you think you have a gut of solid muscle or something. Bad news: unless you change something, it won't get any better, and it'll probably get a lot worse.

 It is also entirely possible to be skinny to all outward appearances, and still be fat (i.e. have a horrible lean mass: body fat ratio).

The examples I quoted were to demonstrate that almost any natural movement engages your core muscles to some extent, even just standing up. So core strength is useful in any activity, pretty much. It's hard to name a sport that doesn't use it, even bowling and darts. If you literally do nothing other than get out of bed, crawl to your computer desk and crawl back home, you don't need it. But don't expect to look good, which appears to be your #1 concern here.

[Cormacaroni]

wait a minute, which do you want more? smaller belly or bigger upper body?

Why would anyone choose? Any decent exercise program is going to get you both at the same time.

[recursivelyenumerable]

Ah, the bleating of the person who wants to look great without doing anything different!

I haven't decided yet what I do or don't want.  In the past I've put a lot of energy into working out etc., which was largely wasted.  The drill sargent routine isn't really doing it for me though, sorry.

There are a lot of things in my life I need to change.  My physical shape isn't necessarily that high on the priority list.

[Madrun Badrun]

when you do an excursive bike are you suppose to stand or sit. 

[Bocsius]

when you do an excursive bike are you suppose to stand or sit. 

Does it have a seat? That's usually the dead giveaway, I say.

[duckman2000]

hair

 

[Bocsius]

I started going to the gym about six months ago, I was looking to gain a few pounds of muscle. But I tell you, when I started, it seemed all so utterly pointless. But now that I've stuck with it for half a year and put it all that hard work, the sweat, the pain, etc., it seems all so utterly pointless.

[Cormacaroni]

Ah, the bleating of the person who wants to look great without doing anything different!

i haven't decided what to do or not to do.  the drill sargent routine isn't really doing it for me though, sorry.

Go watch Oprah then. I'm sure she's got some great ideas.

[recursivelyenumerable]

well he doesn't seem to be interested in an exercise program, unless he changed his mind.

an exercise program is a given.  I just wanted to know if anyone has anything else to say.

[Cormacaroni]

wait a minute, which do you want more? smaller belly or bigger upper body?

Why would anyone choose? Any decent exercise program is going to get you both at the same time.

well he doesn't seem to be interested in an exercise program, unless he changed his mind. I shouldn't be here giving advice too, since I'm not in shape either.

I agree that he doesn't seem to be interested in an exercise program. However, he appeared to be at the start of the thread.

[Madrun Badrun]

when you do an excursive bike are you suppose to stand or sit. 

Does it have a seat? That's usually the dead giveaway, I say.

it feels like nothing when I sit though.  I can go to episodes of batman with out feeling my heartbeat go up.

hair

 

You obviously didn't see the awesome body hair on the bears in the penguin thread on gaf.

[duckman2000]

I started this seriously hellish program a while back, and miraculously I've actually stuck with it. None of the more lenient programs stuck, but this one has worked. Then again, this isn't fitness training so much as strength training, although I've never really figured out the difference.

You obviously didn't see the awesome body hair on the bears in the penguin thread on gaf.

Alopecia Universalis 

[Cormacaroni]

I started this seriously hellish program a while back, and miraculously I've actually stuck with it. None of the more lenient programs stuck, but this one has worked. Then again, this isn't fitness training so much as strength training, although I've never really figured out the difference.

Sounds like you got a good program. I agree that strength is a huge component of fitness, and something that most programs sorely underemphasize. Can you describe it a bit more?

[recursivelyenumerable]

The thing is, lately I've had trouble motivating myself to do ANYTHING.  I dunno if it's worth spending my motivation points on this; maybe I should save them for something less frivolous, like music or computer science.  That's why I'm kinda torn on whether to bother.  It's not that I think I can look better without exercising, it's whether I even care enough to make the effort worthwhile.

[Cormacaroni]

You're gonna have to live in that body for quite some time (i'd imagine), so why not make it more comfortable?

If you're single (as I assume you are from all these failed date threads I see from you), jeez, what more motivation do you need? Get in shape, start getting more attention from the ladies...it creates a positive cycle.

Unless you're fucking married, in which case it just frustrates the crap out of you. Aaargh.

[recursivelyenumerable]

Yeah, but back when I was in good shape I didn't have any success with girls either, and that was also when I had good skin, was young enough to feel like my whole life was ahead of me and not feel like a failure already like I do now, etc.  So I'm not sure if it'll even help.

[duckman2000]

I started this seriously hellish program a while back, and miraculously I've actually stuck with it. None of the more lenient programs stuck, but this one has worked. Then again, this isn't fitness training so much as strength training, although I've never really figured out the difference.

Sounds like you got a good program. I agree that strength is a huge component of fitness, and something that most programs sorely underemphasize. Can you describe it a bit more?

I've sort of tossed the actual program aside at this point because I started to get a good idea of what worked and what really didn't, but the crucial thing for me at the start was that it was based on body weight and free weight exercises, as opposed to gym techniques and tightly regulated cardio. It's easy to find excuses when you are asked to use specific facilities, and it feels so unnatural. The program itself was mostly an initial motivator.

[Bildi]

Hey look, it's another diet/exercise thread in which no-one appears to know wtf they're talking about!   

Corma, you're a nice guy, but sometimes your head gets lodged in your butt.  Everyone is suggesting exercise to burn the fat off his gut.  I don't believe anybody suggested that crunches will do anything to the fat on his gut and was rather suggesting it as a muscle exercise.  Crunches may be only one exercise out of many, but obviously recursive is not looking to launch into a full body routine so they're better than nothing.  At least they'll assist core strength and posture which are good for everyday life.

As to time of day to exercise, you are entitled to your opinion.  I'm not going to argue with you as anybody can research the issue and arrive at their own opinion.

[recursivelyenumerable]

I'm not "not looking into" anything.  in fact, my original plan was to sign up at the gym and do a full body routine or whatever, a few times a week.  I'm just feeling a bit doubtful right now.

[duckman2000]

I'm not "not looking into" anything.  in fact, my original plan was to sign up at the gym and do a full body routine or whatever, a few times a week.  I'm just feeling a bit doubtful right now.

Screw the gym. Get a weight set, and find a program from someone you find credible.

[Bocsius]

For me, I signed up for the gym for three years at $39 per month. That's the motivator right there: I'm paying them anyway, might as well go. Easier said than done in the winter months, though. It's friggin dark and cold when I go. Tonight was a gym night, too. Recovery sucks, too. I'm not sure when I'm supposed to feel good about what I'm doing. If it's not a day I'm working out, it's a day I'm sore. Aches and pains all around. And most times, I never recover fully before going back. It's like a constant state of pain. Never stops.

Eh, so much for this post encouraging you to join a gym, I guess. :/

[Cormacaroni]

Hey look, it's another diet/exercise thread in which no-one appears to know wtf they're talking about!   

Corma, you're a nice guy, but sometimes your head gets lodged in your butt.  Everyone is suggesting exercise to burn the fat off his gut.  I don't believe anybody suggested that crunches will do anything to the fat on his gut and was rather suggesting it as a muscle exercise.  Crunches may be only one exercise out of many, but obviously recursive is not looking to launch into a full body routine so they're better than nothing.  At least they'll assist core strength and posture which are good for everyday life.

As to time of day to exercise, you are entitled to your opinion.  I'm not going to argue with you as anybody can research the issue and arrive at their own opinion.

Sure, crunches are 'better than nothing'. So is giving up diet soda. But there are weaksauce, half-assed measures that won't do much good in the long term. He actually just posted that he WAS considering joining a gym and doing a full-body program so why sell him short?  There is always the chance that he isn't just posting this to get attention, and to whine about his acne and lack of success with women. He might be actually prepared to take some of the advice we're giving him. And my advice is pretty much: ignore all the half-assed shit that won't work long-term and get serious. It's a hard message to deliver diplomatically and I've worn myself out trying to do so in these threads in the past.

[Bildi]

Maybe you could start exercising at home with some body resistance, stretching and flexibility exercises and see how you like that goes.  Once you get into that rhythm you may have a better idea of what you would like to do.

Launching straight into a gym membership works for some and they feel motivated, while for many they lose motivation and stop.  It really depends on you.  Exercising at home without any equipment to begin with removes hurdles to starting (other than your own motivation), and might be an option.

[Draft]

Your attitude is fucking terrible.

You have no right to be physically fit.

Waste away into flabby nothingness.

[recursivelyenumerable]

Oh, I'm definitely just posting this to get attention and whine.  That doesn't mean I'm not seriously going to exercise etc. though, it just means that whether I do will be entirely my own decision and won't be affected by anything in this thread.

EDIT: I don't think I'm whining in the bad sense, though.  I'm not blaming anything on anyone else.

[duckman2000]

Oh, I'm definitely just posting this to get attention and whine.  That doesn't mean I'm not seriously going to exercise etc. though, it just means that whether I do will be entirely my own decision and won't be affected by anything in this thread.

So basically,

Leper this filth

Your attitude is fucking terrible.

You have no right to be physically fit.

Waste away into flabby nothingness.

  Draft and his damned clairvoyance 

[Cormacaroni]

I'm not "not looking into" anything.  in fact, my original plan was to sign up at the gym and do a full body routine or whatever, a few times a week.  I'm just feeling a bit doubtful right now.

Screw the gym. Get a weight set, and find a program from someone you find credible.

Wow, something I can agree with wholeheartedly. My gym has nothing to offer me that I can't do at home, with the exception of a pull-up bar. AA - this is the crossfit workout that I did yesterday, give it a shot!

5 rds of 5x100kg deadlifts and 10 burpees, for time. Time: 10 mins, 10 secs.

Including my warm-up (pull-ups, sit-ups, push-ups, squats...), I was in and out of the gym inside 30 minutes.

[Bildi]

e actually just posted that he WAS considering joining a gym and doing a full-body program so why sell him short?

In fairness, he said that after I posted!  But on the whole, I understand where you're coming from.

[Cormacaroni]

Your attitude is fucking terrible.

You have no right to be physically fit.

Waste away into flabby nothingness.

best poster on EB, confirmed

[recursivelyenumerable]

I guess the other issue is that the business of having an exercise routine, etc., especially at a gym, just seems kind of tacky.  I don't know that my family would approve.

[Cormacaroni]

I guess the other issue is that the business of having an exercise routine, etc. just seems kind of tacky.  I don't know that my family would approve.

ok, now we're into Green Shinobi territory. how many layers does this onion have?

[Bocsius]

I don't know that my family would approve.

"Recursive! Why didn't you tell us you were going to a gym?! Not that there's anything wrong with that."

[duckman2000]

Selling people short is quite obviously a recipe for success around here.

About burpees, I have a bit problem with anything that involves leaping or fast positional shifts. Still working on the equilibrium, I'm afraid. Which has sort of worked as a motivator in itself. Hell, it even took me a while to get stable squats. :/

[Draft]

There's a dude in my gym who does something like a burpee with this weird elastic cord attached to the floor on each end, and then stretched over his traps. Dude jumps like 3 feet straight up. He's a monster.

I just switched out bent rows for power cleans. Power cleans are awesome. They feel good and you get to make a big ruckus and get everyone around you to give a wide berth.

[recursivelyenumerable]

ok, now we're into Green Shinobi territory. how many layers does this onion have?

sorry, I just mean it feels in bad taste, like next thing I know I'll be listening to 80s rock or something.

[Bildi]

I guess the other issue is that the business of having an exercise routine, etc., especially at a gym, just seems kind of tacky.  I don't know that my family would approve.

Not all gyms are just for weights.  I don't use my gym for weights, I use it for aerobic routines.  Even then, I only go to classes with instructors who do entertaining routines.  If there were no entertainment, I would cancel my membership and get my aerobic needs through other cheaper means.

So you never know, you may find something else at the gym that helps keep you exercising.