I felt like sharing some writing I did last year. Enjoy. Or not. I don't care. Weee! Btw, NSFW.
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The train was late today, and it was always early. Little did I know what an adventure would soon take place. The only other person in the station was a cloaked woman sitting a few benches down from me. I decided to leave her alone, as she appeared very ominous. I stood up and peeked my head down the mouth of the tunnel to see nothing in either direction. I decided to leave the station in search for another. I was shocked to find that my exits had dissolved. A twist overtook my bowels. I ran back to alert the woman to find her waiting for me. She removed her hood to reveal that her entire head was sans facial features, save for a large sopping and swollen vagina square in the center. Just as she was about to unbirth me with her big blubbering beef curtains, I awoke in my bed, the sheets soaked with my own blood and semen. I think I'll take the day off from the Children's Day Care today.
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The day I got screwed. What a mess. We had weeks to prepare and complete this project for english and I ignored it. The day before it was due I promised myself to get it done, only to be distracted by goatse and child porn. I showed up that day an emotional wreck. After class I walked up to my teacher's desk and asked her if I could make it up. She took off her glasses and looked at me with a face that said 'Josh, you know I don't do extra credit', I tried to say something only to be interrupted with "Okay Josh, I have an idea". Her look changed from concern to ecstacy as she popped her saggy 40 year-old titty out of her blouse. I almost spit up. "Wanna suck, wittle baby?" At first I felt averted, but my wang got the better of me. I crouched over and sucked that bitch's titty dry as the Mojave. When she thought it was enough we made out for like ten minutes and then she sat me on my knees and looked at me. "Is it over?" I asked. She smiled as she reached into her dress to unfurl a large and erect dong, and wagged it in front of me. I eyed it pensively and said "Hell yeah baby!" I chowed down on that cock all day long, and that's the day I got screwed.
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One day I was minding my own business as I woke up to go to school. I decided since I woke up early to rub one off, yknow, get my dick wet. So I checked out some porn, ran into the bathroom and beat my dick like a distinguished black fellow in the 1800s. When I nutted, a shock ran through my body. My hand was stuck to my dong! I just couldn't get loose! There was nothing I could do and I had to be at school in 20 minutes! What could I do? I'll tell you what I did. I chopped my hand and penis right off, went to the doctor and got a sex change. Now it's the year 2123 and I'm being hunted by the Intergalactic Police Force. Newman's Law, passed in 2082, makes all transsexuals fugitives. I had to do something. I've been on the run for 41 years. I was sleeping in the warehouse on Rock-GAVII one day when the IPF blasted the gates open, I'd been ratted out. I brandished my Blitz Laser as one of the officers turned the corner. I blew him to pieces, and one of his lungs slapped me in the face. I jumped 20 feet in the air with my robot legs and shot heat rays out of my vagina-laser attachment and turned like five guys into silly putty. I ran to the back corner of the warehouse and met eyes with Pablo, my mexican slave who I assigned to build a time machine. I hopped in and trusted Pablo had set the time back to the fateful day I jacked my dick off. Unfortunately, Pablo, being the stupid wetback he is, set the time to 50,000,000 BC, where dinosaurs still roamed the Earth. I built a family of cavemen there after discovering there was no way back. I became attached until a pack of cholo gangster T-Rexes stole my vagina-laser and killed my family. I avenged them by killing every last dinosaur. Eventually I devolved into a dinosaur myself and ate lava, thinking it was candy, and killed myself, successfully ending the life of all dinosaurs. I now live in hell and get triple penetrated by undead demon clones of Liberace on viagra every day.
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My eyes peeled open. Before me I saw nothing but linoleum tile, stained with urine and reproductive fluids. I was in a bathroom stall. My temples were pulsating. I pulled myself together. I peeked inside the open mouth of the toilet to find the squirming remains of the unborn fetus I just aborted with a coat hanger. I took a huge wad of toilet paper to wipe the blood from my diseased vagina. This is life in the year 2123. Aaron's Law prohibits natural birth, and six months ago I was raped by one of the meth-farming child pimps. I sold myself for a copious amount of heroin. But he got his for raping me. Nine hours ago I was toe to toe with that bastard and I injected his heart with plumbing fluid. I stood up and took another swig from my flask of Jack Daniels. Damn tasty. I left the bathroom to be met with twelve members of the FBI. They knew I was pregnant, they knew I just killed my unborn baby to escape a death sentence. I had to fight back. Prison in the 22nd century is a hell on Earth. I spin-kicked the nearest agent and shot the entire gathering with shitlava. I spun around again to rip my shirt off, unvieling my laser-beam nippledicks. I set the lasers to "fricasse" and burnt them all to a crisp. I was on the run now.
