How about a cautionary tale of a young, homeschool valedictorian named Maurice going off to college and instead of having a good time he gets hooked on heroin after trying weed for the first time cause his roommate told him everyone was doing it, and then he has to start peddling his ass on the street corner for some black tar goodness. Eventually he manages to kick the habit just in time to enlist in the army and stop the horde of brown skinned jihadists from pillaging the defenseless, limp wristed fey Yooropeons that have been advocating appeasement the whole time. Instead of ending on an up note, tho, we'll have Maurice outed as a former queer by one of his old johns after he becomes a celebrity back home, and he'll die penniless, universally hated and AIDS ridden in a cumstained dumpster in Seattle somewhere.
-FIN-
