bebpo being crazy, talky, in denial and maybe at the end a better person

[recursivelyenumerable]

IM is a valuable use of time and talent  Roll Eyes

this is my decision: to live fast and die young

[Barry Egan]

 

[Kara]

I'm guessing "hey do you want to spraypaint graffiti and run from the cops" would be a hangout?

Are you kidding me man nothing melts panties like some good old fashioned danger.

[lennedsay]

Jesus, I leave on page 1 and we've progressed 4 more pages?

I seriously think you need to go to a scenester-ish bar. Something chill. No ridiculously loud dance music. (Not that it's bad, but you probably won't find what you're looking for at a typical bar/club.)

What about shows (as in, like, bands playing... "concerts" but smaller)? Back in my single days, I met hella people (girls/guys, friends/morethanfriends, etc) going to shows back in my younger, wilder days... Great times, decent music. Actually, it was shitty music with a random good band thrown in, but it comes with the territory (St Louis  ). More importantly, it was crazy social times I was not prepared for but rather enjoyed. And you always run into the same people all the time.

I dunno, never been to the West Coast. Don't know what in the hell there is to do there. Just don't go in with the intentions of finding a girl and proceeding with becoming friends with them. If you see a girl you're attracted to, fucking play on it.

[BlackMage]

Jesus, I leave on page 1 and we've progressed 4 more pages?

I seriously think you need to go to a scenester-ish bar. Something chill. No ridiculously loud dance music. (Not that it's bad, but you probably won't find what you're looking for at a typical bar/club.)

What about shows (as in, like, bands playing... "concerts" but smaller)? Back in my single days, I met hella people (girls/guys, friends/morethanfriends, etc) going to shows back in my younger, wilder days... Great times, decent music. Actually, it was shitty music with a random good band thrown in, but it comes with the territory (St Louis  ). More importantly, it was crazy social times I was not prepared for but rather enjoyed. And you always run into the same people all the time.

I dunno, never been to the West Coast. Don't know what in the hell there is to do there. Just don't go in with the intentions of finding a girl and proceeding with becoming friends with them. If you see a girl you're attracted to, fucking play on it.

i told this nukka i'd be his wingman!

[lennedsay]

i told this nukka i'd be his wingman!

This right here. This is what you need Bebpo. Seriously great idea.

There's a couple of women in the world that actually charge for their "wingwoman" services. $250 an hour.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Saw it on Tyra. 

[close]

[Mr. Gundam]

I've got a good friend who is the world's greatest wing woman.

[etiolate]

I've got a good friend who is the world's greatest wing woman.

It wouldn't happen to be this woman would it?

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,295535,00.html

[Mr. Gundam]

 

Nope.

[Bebpo]

I decided on a social experiment.  Since I'm going to be playing DQIX every night anyhow for the next few weeks, I figure why not do it in public, instead of at home where there is a 0.0000% chance of meeting someone unless they fall through your roof.

So I dressed a little more decent, still my usual nerdish attire but at least I put on some jeans, some headphones, my robo-bracelet and threw on a smidgen of the Isse Miyaki cologne my friend gave me (who btw is probably the greatest man at dating in the entire universe and every girl who meets him falls in love within 3 hours; but he moved to nyc so we don't hang anymore) and went down to a nearby college area coffee shop.  Got some coffee and found a nice outdoor table with the good breeze and...played DQIX.  Nothing happened although I think some people did give me odd looks but whatever.  Regardless it just seemed like a step towards improving socializing skills by at least getting out in social public and not being afraid of large areas of people.

My plan is to go to a different coffee shop every night while I play through DQIX.  I'm thinking I should go to a bar and get a beer and play DQIX on the bar counter while drinking my beer just for the hell of it.

i told this nukka i'd be his wingman!

Maybe we can meet halfway in LA?

[Bebpo]

Jesus, I leave on page 1 and we've progressed 4 more pages?

I seriously think you need to go to a scenester-ish bar. Something chill. No ridiculously loud dance music. (Not that it's bad, but you probably won't find what you're looking for at a typical bar/club.)

What about shows (as in, like, bands playing... "concerts" but smaller)? Back in my single days, I met hella people (girls/guys, friends/morethanfriends, etc) going to shows back in my younger, wilder days... Great times, decent music. Actually, it was shitty music with a random good band thrown in, but it comes with the territory (St Louis  ). More importantly, it was crazy social times I was not prepared for but rather enjoyed. And you always run into the same people all the time.

I dunno, never been to the West Coast. Don't know what in the hell there is to do there. Just don't go in with the intentions of finding a girl and proceeding with becoming friends with them. If you see a girl you're attracted to, fucking play on it.

I think there are scenesterish bars a few cities down.  I was going through yelp reviews and it seemed there were a few.  I just need someone to go with.

For concerts, idkk.  I love going to shows and I go to shows whenever any band I even seminally like comes to town, but I'm always just up front dancing to the music and I've never had a conversation with a stranger at any show I've been in my whole life.  I guess I could go to shows of bands I don't know and stay by the bar but isn't it awkward when the person is like "oh, so you like this band?" and I'm like "uhhh, never heard of them before.  Just here for some music"

[demi]

Right idea but I dunno if sitting there playing a DS will magically breed results

[demi]

Especially at a bar

[Bebpo]

Especially at a bar

It'd probably be a good conversation starter!
/assuming anyone actually came up to me to start a conversation.

[demi]

Here's a nice starter

"Nice toy. Hope you don't mind if I TAKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

[Bebpo]

Here's a nice starter

"Nice toy. Hope you don't mind if I TAKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

There are few things in this world I would fisticuffs for.  My ds is one of them.   

[EmCeeGrammar]

So you're expecting someone to approach you... by projecting you have your head up your ass. hmmm
I only skimmed the first page  and last page so I'm probably missing something here.  Based on what I read in books, you have to get in the habit of taking the initiative.  From this point expect a ton of rejection. But whats important is that you'll be learning from every encounter.

I should probably read the rest of the thread now.

[EmCeeGrammar]

Yeah, prole gave the best advice in this thread.  You keep saying I'm shy, I'm this, I'm that.  There's a part of everybody's brain which takes your internal dialouge and interprets it literaly.  It gets to the point where they can't distinguish themselves from their behavior.

A person can't be shy. You can only act or behave shyly.  You want a girlfriend.  So instead of going through your mind what disqualfies you from a relationship, you have to focus on the problem at hand and not yourself.  This means identifying beneficial behaviors and practicing them until youre comfortable.

 I'm making it sound easy, I myself am making slow progress in this regard.  But its probably the only notable progress I've made before I came across the cognitive psychiatric practices.

[etiolate]

iphone/DS playing in public is pretty norm

and chicks normally have one of their own to fiddle on

but walking around with ipod earbuds in and such seems counterproductive to meeting people

[Himu]

Come on, Bebpo. You can do better than this.

Get over the shy business. Think that you AREN'T shy. That's the only way to overcome the fear. To overcome that shyness you need to really let loose.

Go up to random girls and ask for their numbers. You learn a lot this way.

Especially in bars. If you go to a bar, chances are you will see an extremely attractive girl who's being hit on all night.

But why are those guys striking out so badly if she's say, single? Because she's heard it all before. Guys trying to be original, when they really aren't, complimenting her when EVERYONE knows that complimenting a woman essentially means I WANT TO FUCK YOU and women get that EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF EVERY DAY. Show some class and show that you're above those losers.

The best way to do it is to think it.

Tonight, leave your ds at home and go to your bar thinking YOU'RE THE BEST DAMN MAN IN THE WORLD and keep that attitude.

Through confidence the world shall be your pearl, Bebpo.

[Himu]

I'd like to emphasize the importance of all this. This stuff helps build SELF ESTEEM. Looking at your posts I can tell you don't think too highly of yourself, which is something I knew already due to our own personal chats.

FUCK THAT.

You will never get a girlfriend if you lack the self esteem to show her you are a man. Take the initiate even if you don't want to.

Build up your pride and self esteem and THEN go for a girlfriend. Learn about women in the process.

[tiesto]

Not sure how religious you are, but how about the synagogue, or Jewish singles events? A friend of mine goes to all the Jdate singles parties and usually ends up with at least a few #s from them...

[demi]

what goes through bebpo's head

[youtube=560,345]e--VoVtPEB0[/youtube]

[Mr. Gundam]

Especially at a bar

It'd probably be a good conversation starter!
/assuming anyone actually came up to me to start a conversation.

No, it will more than likely keep people away from you, especially at a bar.

[recursivelyenumerable]

books are pretty good convo starters tho

[recursivelyenumerable]

I'm not sure if it'd be worse to start a new girl-age thread or use this one since it's not mine, but whatever.  So I was looking at bringing a flute player into my current music project, thought of a woman I'd seen playing and met a year or so back, and using my advanced google-fu found her myspace (as a musician she is allowed to still have myspace and I won't hold it against her) with only her first name to go on and sent her a message.  I did have a bit of a crush on her but I resolved to forget about that and view her solely as a potential music partner; I didn't expect her to remember me either so in my message I didn't mention we'd met before.

So since she seemed to have her own projects going I was expecting, at best, a tentative noncommital reply (if she replied at all) but I got a really enthusiastic message in response    in which she brought up having met me before, and sounded excited about the prospect of seeing me again.  Since she hasn't heard me play music I can't help imagining that it's a personal thing    The problem is, this puts me in a dilemma since I really like her music and I'm afraid that if I try and pursue a personal relationship (and it's possible I'm totally misreading her as being interested in one; she seems like the kind of person who tends to act enthusiastic about stuff in general) I could ruin our potential musical partnership, or even my musical relationships with other friends if I try to get them involved. 

[tiesto]

I think, you should just go for the relationship with the flute player... seems a lot of people are too afraid to make a move on a girl because, if it doesn't work out, then their friendship or other things are ruined. Why not, what do you have to lose? If it doesn't work out, it doesn't, and unless you do something real stupid, you won't really embarrass yourself or lose much pride at all.

[Bebpo]

I think, you should just go for the relationship with the flute player... seems a lot of people are too afraid to make a move on a girl because, if it doesn't work out, then their friendship or other things are ruined. Why not, what do you have to lose? If it doesn't work out, it doesn't, and unless you do something real stupid, you won't really embarrass yourself or lose much pride at all.

Because if he actually wanted her as a flute player, he would be out a flute player possibly?  I mean there are some legitimate reasons not to get personally involved in certain areas.

I would say to just play it by ear and if there seems to be a connection, act on it; otherwise if you really respect her as a flute player and want to do a musical project, leave it at that.  Though that's only if you could kill the feelings and if you can't than you might as well ask her out since you're screwed anyways.   

[lennedsay]

Fuck that. If you & flute-girl are *meant* to be together (if just for one night  ) you'll never know what could happen if you don't give it a shot. Plus, within a few months, the sexual tension will be so built up (at least on your end) that you'll be worthless around her.

Now, if you'd be risking your job/life/family/friends, I'd probably say otherwise. But flute player? There are other flute players in the world. Now's the time to go for it before you & the others in your project become somewhat dependent on her, musically speaking.

[BlackMage]

and just think: if she's skilled at playing the flute, she's probably skilled at playing yo dick.

[lennedsay]

  Skinflute

I bet she performs beautifully...

[recursivelyenumerable]

   i was hoping y'all'd resist the temptation to go there, but i of course knew my hope was totally unjustified

anyway, that's good advice that i should probably try to figure out sort of relationship i want to or can or can't have before i try to incorporate her into any existing projects.  if i ask her out and she says no, i hope we'll still be able to be music friends since i'm not really the type to be eaten up inside by reminders of what i can't have, as long as it's actually clear that i can't have it.  but probably best to get that sorted out up front, all the same.

on the other hand, there are a couple of serious problems with that.  first, i can't have a relationship until my apartment is furnished, and that won't happen for a few months for financial and medical reasons.  i understand why dragging this stuff out isn't necessarily good but i wish there was a way i could stall for time.  second, since we're already planning on spending hanging out together for other reasons, how would i go about um "asking her out" asking her out?  do i wink lewdly at her while we're making plans?   

[BlackMage]

  i was hoping y'all'd resist the temptation to go there, but i of course knew my hope was totally unjustified

anyway, that's good advice that i should probably try to figure out sort of relationship i want to or can or can't have before i try to incorporate her into any existing projects.  if i ask her out and she says no, i hope we'll still be able to be music friends since i'm not really the type to be eaten up inside by reminders of what i can't have, as long as it's actually clear that i can't have it.  but probably best to get that sorted out up front, all the same.

on the other hand, there are a couple of serious problems with that.  first, i can't have a relationship until my apartment is furnished, and that won't happen for a few months for financial and medical reasons.  i understand why dragging this stuff out isn't necessarily good but i wish there was a way i could stall for time.  second, since we're already planning on spending hanging out together for other reasons, how would i go about um "asking her out" asking her out?  do i wink lewdly at her while we're making plans?   

you need to loosen the fuck up

[Bebpo]

Easier said than done!

I think for some of us it's just our personality type to be overly anxious and uncomfortable in unnatural situations.

[lennedsay]

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Hey, at least nobody pulled the ol' flute up her pussy joke! 

[close]

Yes, wink lewdly.

Don't let the apt hold you back man. If she's cool, she'll understand. Furniture's fucking expensive. She's probably just happy you live on your own. Can you play it off like you just moved therefore have no shit, or better yet, tell her you lost everything in a fire, including all your heirloom furniture your great granny entrusted to you on her deathbed?

As far as asking her out, just make sure she knows it's a one-on-one thing. Something fun, nothing overly romantic (or expensive for that matter, it's the first date!  ), kinda cute & casual.

[recursivelyenumerable]

Can you play it off like you just moved therefore have no shit,

Well that's basically the case, only it's been two and a half months now and all I bought were some cheap table legs at IKEA (because they were on sale and the table itself wasn't).

[lennedsay]

At least you have ikea.... A-hole.

Seriously, invite her over and when you walk in, scream and say you just got robbed.

[recursivelyenumerable]

I like the idea of robbers who go to the effort of stealing and moving all your furniture, but don't bother to steal your other, more easily transported stuff.   

[lennedsay]

Oh, you have other stuff? Wtf, do you have your cds and dvds and games and shit all over the floor or something? I just imagined this empty room with a pillow on the floor and a opened dunkaroo package.

Post pics of your place. I gotta see this shit to analyze your ability to get laid there.

[recursivelyenumerable]

Oh, you have other stuff? Wtf, do you have your cds and dvds and games and shit all over the floor or something?

Close, I have them all in cardboard boxes (and a few suitcases) on the floor and in closets.  Like five huge boxes of books alone.  My pots and pans and stuff are in cabinets that did come with the apartment.

[lennedsay]

Mattress?

[recursivelyenumerable]

Yeah, I sleep on a mattress on the floor  -- not terribly romantic

I could probably buy a bed and a couch in the next couple weeks if it came to that.  Or I could ask her to come to Scotland with me

[lennedsay]

If you got a mattress and some cheap as candles, you got baby-makin' time. 

Seriously. A cool girl will not care. A cool girl would be willing to help make it more home-y.

Actually, having no couch is a great idea. When I first started dating my husband, him & his friends were living together. In his room, he only had a bed, so when we'd watch movies & hang out, we were on a bed in a bedroom. Sex was inevitable. As soon as we moved and got a couch in a separate living room with bigger TV for movie-time, sex actually dwindled, you know, down to twice a day. 

[recursivelyenumerable]

Maybe I could invite her to come furniture-shopping with me.  Do girls like that?  (because all girls are the same lulz)

[lennedsay]

OMG, seriously. Great idea. "Hey I need to go to Ikea, want to come?"

I've had several guys pull the ol' "Hey I'm doing this anyway, wanna join?" and it works. Both parties know it's casual, no pressure. And chicks dig shopping. Just make sure it's, "Hey, if you come with me to Ikea, I'll totally take you to lunch, your pick....  / " There's no emoticon for lewd winking, so combine those two.

[Bebpo]

I've been kinda addicted to personality testing lately, this is my chart from mypersonaldna.com



Now I think the fact that I score a TWO in masculinity and NINETY-FOUR in femininity helps explain why girls see me as a friend and not a romantic interest.  I really should just join the rest of evilbore in the man on man action; I think I'm on the wrong side here  :'(

So, did we ever find out what a robo-bracelet is?

It's just a bracelet I made out of left over robot parts when I built my robot.  Mainly yarn and stuff.  If you had to fit it into a genre, it'd be hipster or scenster or something.  I dunno; I don't follow the different groups and what separates them.

[Barry Egan]

personality tests 

[Mr. Gundam]

personality tests 

Yeah. I don't buy into all the internet tests. Probably because I went to graduate school and learned how to administer and interpret the real ones.

[recursivelyenumerable]

Wait, what sort of robot is this?  are you interested in real robotics?

[Mr. Gundam]

Wait, what sort of robot is this?  are you interested in real robotics?

I'm guessing plastic Gundam model parts. Not a knock on Bebpo, since I build them, too.

[Reb]

Personality test always confirm your self image, even if it's distorted.
Since, surprise, you are the one filling them out.

[Bebpo]

Wait, what sort of robot is this?  are you interested in real robotics?

Cardboard + Yarn + other thingss

I'd be down to build a real robot though.  Need some books on engineering first.

[Fresh Prince]

Cardboard + Yarn + other thingss

I'd be down to build a real robot though.  Need some books on engineering first.

Stick to humans.

[Propagandhim]

I can imagine one meathead thinking about the "masculinity" questions in reference to himself.  Fuck these tests.

[Flannel Boy]

I've been kinda addicted to personality testing lately, this is my chart from mypersonaldna.com

image snipped

the chart of a shut-in:

Cardboard + Yarn + other thingss

[muckhole]

Malek!

edit: He's gone already again. :'(

[Flannel Boy]

Malek!

edit: He's gone already again. :'(

The park sucks; I'm going to the forest.

By the way, I don't recall getting any helpful advice in my numerous threads, only ICP videos!

[Akala]

<a href="http://www.personaldna.com/report.php?k=qooDDWxCoZNnHgN-OI-DCDAA-da12">
My personalDNA Report</a>


lol didn't feel like cropping the chart. not sure how being lazy makes me a 'born leader', but my chart rocks. makes me feel strong.

[Flannel Boy]

<a href=http://anonymouse.org/cgi-bin/anon-www.cgi/http://www.evilbore.com/forum/"http://www.personaldna.com/report.php?k=qooDDWxCoZNnHgN-OI-DCDAA-da12">
My personalDNA Report</a>


lol didn't feel like cropping the chart. not sure how being lazy makes me a 'born leader', but my chart rocks. makes me feel strong.

Masculinity    98
Femininity 4

You're the anti-Bebpo; I can safely assume you don't wear "robo-bracelets."

[Barry Egan]

Malek!

edit: He's gone already again. :'(

The park sucks; I'm going to the forest.

By the way, I don't recall getting any helpful advice in my numerous threads, only ICP videos!

It's cuz you seem implicitly aware that "helpful advice" doesn't actually ever help anyone when it comes to major psychological re-orientation.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

/thread

[close]