LOL Kevin Smith too fat to fly, gets kicked off Southwest Airlines

[The Fake Shemp]

(PEOPLE.com) -- Kevin Smith's most famous role is a guy who rarely speaks. But he's got a lot to say -- much of it profane -- after being kicked off a Southwest Air flight because he didn't fit comfortably into the seat.

"You [messed] with the wrong sedentary processed-foods eater!" Smith, whose next film, "Cop Out," comes out February 26, posted on Twitter.
It was one of many Tweets recounting the actor/director's humiliating expulsion Saturday from the Oakland-to-Burbank, California, flight.
Southwest said in a statement airline officials had called Smith to offer their "heartfelt apologies," but also stated his removal was for the "safety and comfort of all customers."

Smith, 39, originally purchased two tickets "as he's been known to do when traveling Southwest," the airline noted, but when he decided to fly standby on an earlier flight, only one seat remained. Although he had been seated, he was asked to leave.

"If a customer cannot comfortably lower the armrest and infringes on a portion of another seat, a customer seated adjacent would be very uncomfortable and a timely exit from the aircraft in the event of an emergency might be compromised if we allow a cramped, restricted seating arrangement," Southwest said.

I'm Fat

Smith, who played Silent Bob in his Clerks movies and who has battled his weight for years -- "I know I'm fat," he confesses -- was given a $100 voucher and arrived in Burbank on a later flight. But he was in no mood to accept an apology.

"I broke no regulation, offered no 'safety risk' (what, was I gonna roll on a fellow passenger?)" he tweeted. "I saw someone bigger than me on THAT flight! But I wasn't about to throw a fellow Fatty under the plane as I'm being profiled. But he & I made eye contact, & he was like 'Please don't tell...'"

After landing in Burbank, Smith wrote, "Don't worry: wall of the plane was opened & I was airlifted out while Richard Simmons supervised."

Smith added that while the ordeal was embarrassing, his "Jersey Girl training" (the 2004 flop starring Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez) was helping him cope.

[T234]

 

[Hitler Stole My Potato]

How fat is this dude now?  I've seen him heavy as fuck before.

[The Fake Shemp]

I think he's pretty heavy now, but even last year when I was pretty large - even then I had no problems on Southwest. Their seats are pretty wide!

[BlueTsunami]

He's supposed to have ballooned but apparently he was able to put both arm rest down in his chair so who knows.

[Diunx]

The pilot probably saw Jersey Girl.

[The Fake Shemp]

AV Club asks, "What's the worst part about Kevin Smith vs Southwest Airlines?"

Choose Your Outrage!

The worst part about this is:

a. That it involves Southwest Airlines.

b. That it involves Kevin Smith.

c. That it forces you to imagine sitting in a cramped Southwest Airlines seat next to Kevin Smith for the entirety of a long Southwest Airlines flight.

d. That it forces you to imagine being on a Southwest Airlines flight at all.

e. That anyone would actually expect a good flying experience from an airline that doesn't even bother to assign seats to its passengers, instead opting for
an "Okay, on the count of three, everyone panic and run to get in line for seats...1...2...3!" policy.

f. This line from a People article about the incident, "'I know I'm fat,' Smith confesses." (Oh, well now that he's "confessed," what is his penance?)

g. Kevin Smith's insistence that this isn't just a giant hissy fit made public...it could happen to you! ("Wanna tell me I'm too wide for the sky? Totally cool. But fair warning, folks: IF YOU LOOK LIKE ME, YOU MAY BE EJECTED FROM @SOUTHWESTAIR.") But only if you also are in the habit of both flying Southwest and buying two seats when you fly Southwest.

h.  That because of this story, you learned (via a pop-up ad) that Jason Alexander is now a Jenny Craig spokesperson.

(Image removed from quote.)

i. All of the above.

[Reb]

There's a smodcast about this online now.

[Mupepe]

he comes off as a huge bitch in all of this.  The dude is huge now.  And what the fuck is he doing flying Southwest?  Doesn't this guy make bank? 

Go Southwest.

[The Fake Shemp]

I guess Southwest responded online:

Not So Silent Bob
Sun, 02/14/2010 - 14:57 - Christi Day

Many of you reached out to us via Twitter last night and today regarding a situation a Customer Twittered about that occurred on a Southwest flight. It is not our customary method of Customer Relations to be so public in how we work through these situations, but with so many people involved in the occurrence, you also should be involved in the solution. First and foremost, to Mr. Smith; we would like to echo our Tweets and again offer our heartfelt apologies to you.

We are sincerely sorry for your travel experience on Southwest Airlines.

As soon as we saw the first Tweet from Mr. Smith, we contacted him personally to apologize for his experience and to address his concerns on both Twitter and with a personal phone call. Since the situation has received a lot of public attention, we'd like to take the opportunity to address a few of the specifics here as well.

Mr. Smith originally purchased two Southwest seats on a flight from Oakland to Burbank - as he's been known to do when traveling on Southwest. He decided to change his plans and board an earlier flight to Burbank, which technically means flying standby. As you may know, airlines are not able to clear standby passengers until all Customers are boarded. When the time came to board Mr. Smith, we had only a single seat available for him to occupy. Our pilots are responsible for the Safety and comfort of all Customers on the aircraft and therefore, made the determination that Mr. Smith needed more than one seat to complete his flight. Our Employees explained why the decision was made, accommodated Mr. Smith on a later flight, and issued him a $100 Southwest travel voucher for his inconvenience.

You've read about these situations before. Southwest instituted our Customer of Size policy more than 25 years ago. The policy requires passengers that can not fit safely and comfortably in one seat to purchase an additional seat while traveling. This policy is not unique to Southwest Airlines and it is not a revenue generator. Most, if not all, carriers have similar policies, but unique to Southwest is the refunding of the second seat purchased (if the flight does not oversell) which is greater than any revenue made (full policy can be found here). The spirit of this policy is based solely on Customer comfort and Safety. As a Company committed to serving our Customers in Safety and comfort, we feel the definitive boundary between seats is the armrest. If a Customer cannot comfortably lower the armrest and infringes on a portion of another seat, a Customer seated adjacent would be very uncomfortable and a timely exit from the aircraft in the event of an emergency might be compromised if we allow a cramped, restricted seating arrangement.

Smith responded on Twitter that he has yet to receive a personal apology despite this press release, and that he did indeed pass the "arm rest test" - and he flew back with both arm rests down on the following flight to "prove a point".

[Van Cruncheon]

he's like superfat, now, and well over 300 pounds. dude needs to get some help.

[Mupepe]

Just because chubs can push down the arm rests doesn't mean it's comfortable.  I can totally squeeze into pants way too small for me.  It doesn't mean they fit.  He's being a big ass crybaby because he was humiliated.  I'm sure Southwest totally wanted to take the risk of a famous person negging on them even though they didn't have to. 

[The Fake Shemp]

I don't think anybody knew who he was, because outside of the Internet, does anyone really know who Kevin Smith is?

[Great Rumbler]

What a boob.

[Mupepe]

That's definitely possible.  

But I'm sure it wasn't a fast "get off, sir" and he was removed.  Because I'm sure he made a big deal about it and someone saw the name flashby and someone there was savvy enough to say "hey, this dude's a fucking celebrity"

or maybe no one noticed and that's why he's really pissed.

[Hitler Stole My Potato]

Here's a pic from the MacWorld event he was flying home from.

A big boy to be sure but I've been on planes with fatter people than that.

[The Fake Shemp]

I'm wading through the approximately one million tweets he's posted about this whole ordeal, and it sounds like it was sort of drawn out. Apparently the captain sent a flight attendant to remove him, he told her "don't do this". The flight attendant said that the arm rests had to be lowered for him to sit comfortably. He attests he passed the arm rest test and his fellow commuters on both sides said he was not a problem.

The attendant still insisted he leave, and then he writes that he eyed some guy that was fatter than he is on the way out.

And lots of bitching on Twitter.

[demi]

eh, aside from his baggy pants to hide (or make fun of?) the fat, i see no reason i should be halfmasting to Kev. maybe on confirmation of bear status.

[Mupepe]

He's a Mac fan?  That explains everything!

[The Fake Shemp]

This came via Twitter, from a woman we’ll call FattyHater.

“Obviously Smith expected special treatment as a celebrity.”

You’re right, Jessica Fletcher. It was murder, I wrote, when I was ejected from that plane. You’re quite the aging, local lady-sleuth; a credit to Cabot Cove.

And to be completely honest? I did expect special treatment: the same special treatment every PAYING CUSTOMER SHOULD GET.

I know you can’t be bothered to track all the details because it’s just way too easy to run with “Hollywood had it coming!” But for those who came in late:

a) I fit in the seat on an Oakland to Burbank Southwest Airlines flight

b) My lard didn’t spill over onto my fellow passengers

c) I could buckle the belt. I complied with the Southwest Airlines standards… and yet they bounced me regardless.

So what you call “expecting celebrity treatment” I call “expecting what I paid for.” In other words, a seat; which I fit into. I am fat, yes; but not Too Fat To Fly (yet).

I don’t know how you’re somehow finding a way to paint this as a portrait of Hollywood ego and excess run amok, but you flatter me, madam: I’m not that guy. One can’t have a giant-sized ass and a giant-sized ego (must… resist urge… to make… circa… 2004… JLo joke…). Your anger with me over what’s very clearly a case of an airline fucking up (then continuing to fuck up, compounding the fuck-up with mistruths and half-information) is better saved for those who SEEK extra privilege. I don’t and certainly didn’t in this case. I wanted nothing more nor less than EVERY OTHER PASSENGER: to sit in the seat I paid for. That I fit into.*

From time-to-time, my small degree of success in film will lead to some kind of expression of irrational resentment from a total stranger. It sucks, but I get it: in the past, there have been times when I, too, resented others who’ve had more/done more than me. But while resentment is a very human (albeit petty) emotion, I still don’t want to be on the receiving end of it - particularly resentment from a person you don’t even know/have never met.

I’ll ask that you search for another emotion at the bottom of your box, Pandora: how about some fucking empathy? I know I deserve no compassion because I’m a twisted creature of Hollywood, pockets stuffed with hundies and Ricotta cheese, but take off your hate-specs and ask if you’d be as dismissive about what happened to me if it happened to that friend at your birthday party - the big girl you’ve got your arm around (I saw her pic at the top of your linked site)? Would you still dismiss it as your friend expecting special, celebrity treatment? (And does she know how much you blindly respect Southwest Airlines, including their Shame-the-Slobs policy?)

Stereotype me all you like, ma’am, but I hope if you’re ever wronged, people don’t treat you in the same way you’re treating me, blaming the victim. “Whelp - that’s what he gets for being slightly recognizable due to his occupation. That smug bastard…”

If you’re interested in the complete story, and not just the superficial incomplete details, please listen to SModcast 106. You’ll find the tale is not about my raging, ravenous celebrity ego; it’s about an airline that continues to dig a PR nightmare hole with every minute that goes by sans phone call or meaningful apology (as many have pointed out, that blog was more insult than apology, as they merely used that statement to maintain their position: “See, we made no real error because we’ve got this Fuck-the-Fatties policy…”).

Talking about what happened to me is a way to present people who look like me (or are heavier, if that’s possible) with some facts about what happens when you’re morbidly obese and you try to ride the SWAyze-dog. I’d like other people who aren’t thin to know this could happen to them, too, on Southwest Airlines; because it was kinda humiliating, and I wouldn’t wish that shit on a fuck-knuckle like yourself, let alone a fellow Fatty for whom I’d feel the compassion you apparently can’t feel for someone you’ve damned and dismissed as an… ugh… “celebrity”.

Just, do me a favor ma’am: could you stand over there, on that large piece of plastic? That’s right: a bit more to the left, annnnnnd…

KA-BLOCK!

Fucking psycho…

*Do you know how fucking humiliating it is to have to stress that point, over and over; but it’s the whole crux of their case, and it’s the central lie this whole affair is predicated upon. I’m not denying I’m fat at all; I’m denying their accusation that I didn’t fit in the seat - which is their entire justification for kicking me off the plane. And earlier, on Twitter, I already offered to prove I could easily fit into the seat in question (as well as buckle the seat belt) in front of a live studio audience. But contrary to the ramblings of all the chucklefucks who think this is good publicity for me, it sucks to have to subject myself to public scrutiny for what I look like. You think I dig being acknowledged for this dubious honor of Too Fat To Fly? Fifteen years of being “the CLERKS-guy” became TF-TF overnight. Awesome legacy.

I do think it's funny that Southwest keeps mentioning he always purchases two tickets.

[Mupepe]

[cool breeze]

dem pants/shorts/double-skirt

[demi]

interest flatlined. thats ridiculous.

[The Fake Shemp]

This recent Twitter exchange between Larry King and Kevin Smith

kingsthings: Lots of news about @ThatKevinSmith and Southwest, I would sure love to interview him about this on my show tonight!

ThatKevinSmith: Mr. @kingsthings: I'm in L.A., you're in D.C. So please understand when I say this: I'm not going anywhere NEAR an airport again this week.

[Hitler Stole My Potato]

Holy fuck at those pants of his.  Does he live next to a hobo outlet?  No one should be wearing shit like that regardless of what you look like.

[BlueTsunami]

I used to wear shorts like that when I was 12 and they were basketball shorts, not jeans. Come on Mr. Smith.

[Hitler Stole My Potato]

I can go down to the men's shelter right now and find better dressed people than Kevin Smith.

Fuck the too fat to fly thing.  Those pants are the real crime here.

[Diunx]

I didn't know that they kept making those pants after the mid 90's.

[Eel O'Brian]

he's just wearing those so when he turns into the hulk they'll be a perfect fit

[The Fake Shemp]

[cool breeze]

I can go down to the men's shelter right now and find better dressed people than Kevin Smith.

Fuck the too fat to fly thing.  Those pants are the real crime here.

seriously

he is mondo size and wears clothing that makes him look worse.  He looks like a chicken wearing shorts.

[Himu]

Why was Kevin Smith at MacWorld? One of my profs went.

[Mupepe]

I thought it was McWorld and he wanted a few free doubles.  When he discovered his mistake, he tweeted about how Apple is ignoring the edible electronics market.

[Dickie Dee]

He dresses like a shut-in priming himself for a youtube rant

[cool breeze]

I thought it was McWorld and he wanted a few free doubles.  When he discovered his mistake, he tweeted about how Apple is ignoring the edible electronics market.

 

[archie4208]

Kevin Smith is to fat even for demi?  Wow.

[lordmaji]

(Image removed from quote.)

...are those Iron Maiden shows?

[Rman]

Man, he got big.  He wasn't this big in Chasing Amy.

[Mupepe]

[ferrarimanf355]

he's like superfat, now, and well over 300 pounds. dude needs to get some help.

I wonder what Jay thinks of this.

And the tweets are ten kinds of awesome.

[Herr Mafflard]

I would have love to have seen the awkward, innocuous look this other, "bigger" guy gave Smith. Sadly, the pessimist in me believes Smith probably fabricated the existence of this fellow passenger to establish his amenity and make a scapegoat out of Southwest Airlines.

all I'm seeing here is: butthurt prima donna bitches about standard procedure, news at 11

He probably is TFTF - there is a reason he always buys two seats, isn't there?  

Anyway, I blame twitter for enabling these attention sluts.

[BlueTsunami]

(Image removed from quote.)

Man, if there was ever a picture that exhibited the difference between being moderately healthy vs extremely overweight from a comfortability perspective, it would be this one. Rogan is just chillin', legs crossed, totally nonchalant shoulder placement with a drank sitting near his left hand. On the opposite we've got Smith trying to find the perfect angle where his back isn't hurting, which apparently involves sitting on his leg (which will eventually die and need to be amputated).

[BlueTsunami]

Makes one wonder how he would have come off in Funny People. As a skinny dude, it was just whiny and a bit' annoying.

[brawndolicious]

Seth Rogan isn't really even chubby anymore, though.  Plus fat comedians need to stay fat or we won't love them. 

But they all die under 40.

[Brehvolution]

I guess I know what happened to Jay now.

[AdmiralViscen]

"now that is one big pile of shit."

[Diunx]

(Image removed from quote.)

I think that kid fit on his belly.

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

He's got to be pushing 350 easily.

[The Fake Shemp]

I think I should start a weight loss competition with Kevin Smith. The winner has to pay for the other's airline ticket to come out and visit.

[demi]

Kevin Smith is to fat even for demi?  Wow.

i would probably fap to him given the right picture or video. but as it is i see no reason to. he wears these... umbrellas and it loses its value.

[Herr Mafflard]

I think I should start a weight loss competition with Kevin Smith. The winner has to pay for the other's airline ticket to come out and visit.

That's just not fair. Kevin Smith is in a different league - you're waaaaaay ahead of him.

Talk about kicking a guy while he's down. 

[The Fake Shemp]

Hey, if I win, he gets a free plane ticket to fly out here.













.... if he can fit in his seat.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

Hey, if I win, he gets a free plane ticket to fly out here.

.... if he can fit in his seats.

fix'd

[Fragamemnon]

man what a hambeast. Those pants-as much of a surrender to your weight as you can get-are pretty much burned into the imagery memory index when I think of "Kevin Smith".

Which is really sad, since that place used to be reserved for Salma Hayek stripping and poledancing in Dogma.

 :'( :'(

[The Fake Shemp]

The only thing that really disappoints me is how much of a pothead he has become in recent years. Half his Twitter posts are about eating his wife's asshole and how much weed he smokes.

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

In the cult of personality world the internet likes to revel in, Kevin Smith could drop all of the weight, and use that as an effective marketing tool for a movie he needs to premiere.

Kind of like those Vanessa Hudgens nudes that always mysteriously appear a week or two before one of her movies comes out.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

yeah, the scale goes

a few extra pounds
overweight
fat
pretty fat
obese
hambeast

Kevin Smith has reached hambeast territory

[The Fake Shemp]

Man, if I had as much money as he does, I'd have a cook and a personal trainer.

Where does all his money go? Obviously not on clothes or transportation. Are times really that tough?

[Howard Alan Treesong]

Does he really have that much money, though?

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

He's been eating away the pain of Zack and Miri flopping.