Mupepe - Our 3 children would have careers in porn, pro football, and hockey. We'd never talk to the one who played hockey.
Viz - Our kids would be infected with the evil that is Viz, and would turn out to be murderers, rapists, and people who piss on new lawns.
Corny - Our children would rival Jesus in terms of greatness.
whiteACID - The daughter who took after her would win Ms. America, but would lose her crown because she did too many drugs to get a second chance. The one that took after me would join the UFC and dominate every fight.
BlueTsunami - The kids would take after him, and all get out of the shower to take a piss. They wouldn't last long, as I would have to kill them for being nancy boys.