Kinect to be bigger* than Jesus! It really† works!

[Howard Alan Treesong]

*in size, not importance










This will end well! (no it won't)

[Third]

So tacky.
That thing shall never enter my home.

[MCD]

It's ok, I will just remove my PS3.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

Is it big enough for two lesbians to use as a double sided dildo?

only if they're into fisting

[demi]

He could clear some space by throwing those shitty DVDs in the garbage. Imagine all that money that could have been spent on video games instead

[Trent Dole]

Well to be fair people were shorter two millenia ago...

[Third]

That...thing...is already a big flop in Japan. Just look at it. Probably the biggest accessory I've ever seen.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

[iconoclast]

He could clear some space by throwing those shitty DVDs in the garbage. Imagine all that money that could have been spent on video games instead

28 Days Later is pretty awesome though. Shame about the sequel.

[Mr. Gundam]

My neighbor brought a Kinect home the other day, it's a lot smaller than I thought it would be.

[cool breeze]

It's smaller than the prototype I think.  I mean, features were removed, but that looked double this size.

I'm more concerned about the how much room you need to play.  By concerned I mean pretending this is some alternate reality where I'd buy this.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

and as such, trolling the Kinect should be beneath me

[Third]

He could clear some space by throwing those shitty DVDs in the garbage. Imagine all that money that could have been spent on video games instead

28 Days Later is pretty awesome though. Shame about the sequel.

WTF? The sequel is much better than the original. 

[EmCeeGrammar]

* required room to play must also be bigger than Jesus

This is the actual 'problem'. It always bothers me that the internet latches onto trivial shit like size, form factor, number of vents, etc.

Although a lot of dance central vids I  look at make it seem like you don't need that much space for it to register.

[Eel O'Brian]

I'm more concerned about the how much room you need to play.  By concerned I mean pretending this is some alternate reality where I'd buy this.

hahahahahaha

[cool breeze]

I'm more concerned about the how much room you need to play.  By concerned I mean pretending this is some alternate reality where I'd buy this.

hahahahahaha

I don't actually read what I write before I post 

I am actually interested to know how much room you will need.  There could always be something on kinect that makes me want it.  Giantbomb said the Sonic surfing game required 10 to 15 feet.

[Eel O'Brian]

no, i was laughing because it was a great joke, made perfect sense to me

[CajoleJuice]

He could clear some space by throwing those shitty DVDs in the garbage. Imagine all that money that could have been spent on video games instead

28 Days Later is pretty awesome though. Shame about the sequel.

WTF? The sequel is much better than the original. 

[Diunx]

I'm buying one, it will give me a reason to practice my mexican, thanks MS and thanks Mr.Gate!

[Third]

No voice controls in nazi land:

http://www.gamestar.de/hardware/news/eingabegeraete/2317574/microsoft_kinect.html

Will guarantee to be a flop now. Germans like to have everything in their own language. 

What a trainwreck - while Move is getting very positive reviews across all media.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

Kinect only supports American and British English at launch. Canadians have to wait until 2011.

[Eel O'Brian]

"aboot"

*system restarts*

[BlueTsunami]

Malek suiciding for the 100th time

[MyNameIsMethodis]

Gaming's not just for sweaty thirty year olds in Metallica t-shirts,



Microsoft said that about Kinect. 

[Brehvolution]

"aboot"

*system restarts*

:canadacry

[Third]

http://www.gametrailers.com/video/video-physics-kinect/703804

 

MS should delay/cancel.

[GilloD]

You dudes are crazy. That thing is like. Super fucking tiny. Anything that isn't an iPod Nano has people going "OH NOZ IT WILL DISTURB MY FINELY TUNED SENSE OF ASTHETICS ARE DEMONSTRATED BY THE CAREFUL POSITIONING OF MY ANIME COLLECTIBLE FIGUYREINES"

[recursivelyenumerable]

it doesn't look that big to me, also the problem with the first Xbox wasn't just that it was big, it was that it was big and gobsmackingly hideous. this otoh looks decent enough, as long as you're not creeped out by how it looks like it's staring at you (and the attendant 1984-telescreen overtones)

[Third]

 

[patrickula]

Man, I wonder how whoever was responsible for the original spec feels about all the downgrades.

[E-DuB]

Kinect only supports American and British English at launch. Canadians have to wait until 2011.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

† Kinect does not really work.

Hands-on: Child of Eden with Kinect controls

Kinect effectively ruined my experience with Child of Eden.

I couldn't get the game to let me aim outside of a 1/4 screen-sized boundary in the middle of the screen. I also couldn't shoot a lot of the time, or even move the cross-hairs. There was no sense of "playing a game with your body," just a sense of trying to communicate with a game that wasn't listening to me.

I got so bored with the game's unresponsive attitude that I eventually started to breakdance.

Kinect only served to botch the whole experience. The motion controls don't work. Someone better get back to the drawing board before Child of Eden comes out Q1 of next year.

[EmCeeGrammar]

I'm just sad cus I think child of eden was that wii game miziguchi was supposed to be working on YEARS ago.

[EmCeeGrammar]

Man, I wonder how whoever was responsible for the original spec feels about all the downgrades.

I actually know the guy

But do you know how he feels about all the downgrades?

[Howard Alan Treesong]

playing a game with Kinect is like navigating a phone tree with your body

[Robo]

Maybe Kinect's unresponsiveness will make it awesome in a hilariously terrible way, like the mic controls did for Odama.

[archie4208]

† Kinect does not really work.

Hands-on: Child of Eden with Kinect controls

Poor maxy.  :'(

[iconoclast]

The Kinect gameplay video of Child of Eden at TGS looked horrible. Laggiest controls I've ever seen in a game. Will play it with a real controller when it comes out.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

Maybe Kinect's unresponsiveness will make it awesome in a hilariously terrible way, like the mic controls did for Odama.

Odama 
Game of the forever

Odama's debut at E3 showcased its use of the DK Bongos, which allows a second player to raise troop morale and distract enemy troops by repeatedly beating the drums.[1] However, this feature was dropped prior to the game's release.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

How was Odama ever made?  Was it simply a dream?

The answer is in the title...

spoiler (click to show/hide)

"huge balls"

[close]

[demi]

I have Odama and the dildo mic. Never played it... but it was like $6 on eBay complete

[maxy]

† Kinect does not really work.

Hands-on: Child of Eden with Kinect controls

Poor maxy.  :'(

FUD

Destructoid 

Read this

Kinect then, which we got to try with the E3 playable demo. As you may know, here at Gamersyde we aren’t really fans of this new technology, quite interesting on paper, but in the end way too limited for Gamer titles. So it was with quite a bit of skepticism that we went and placed ourselves in front of Microsoft’s 3D camera. After all the videos showing some lag between the player movements and what happened on the screen, we had every reason to be worried. But in the end, after just one minute, it’s almost completely forgotten. Let’s be fair here, it works very well, but it’s also incredibly fun and it conveys quite an out of this world feeling.

Contrary to many other Kinect titles that require the player to move around like a crazy person, Child of Eden is all about moderation. Just a single hand held up to move the cursor, a fast movement to fire, plus two special moves: Clap hands to switch between “painting” mode and auto fire (required from time to time), and move both hands up in the air for the happy bomb(banzai gesture). A very simple setup, and one that doesn’t make you feel at all like a fool when playing. It’s a pleasure to play, but also to watch someone else do the motions.

Djmizuhara's thoughts

I walked away from the demo wanting to play it more, (I played it 9 times during the press event) as it was like no other game I've ever played before. In fact, it's not a game in my eyes, it's an experience, an experience I've never had the pleasure of experiencing up until now. Kinect gave me a new experience of controller free gaming, something I didn't think was possible given today's technology. Even at this early stage of development, I feel that Mizuguchi has delivered on Microsoft's promise of controller free gaming. I felt like a conductor conducting and electronic light show. After the press event had finished, all I could think about for the next few days was Child of Eden. Tetsuya Mizuguchi has sold me on the technology I didn't think I wanted. Suffice to say, Child of Eden blew me away with its stunning visuals and perfectly paced music. Child of Eden was definitely my game of TGS.

http://www.gamersyde.com/news_gamersyde_preview_child_of_eden-10020_en.html

[archie4208]

http://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2010-09-29-ms-advises-against-clutter-for-kinect

Looks like you're gonna have to clean up your Metallica tshirts, maxy.  :'(

[maxy]

http://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2010-09-29-ms-advises-against-clutter-for-kinect

Looks like you're gonna have to clean up your Metallica tshirts, maxy.  :'(

I posted videos of that ages ago...

Clean room needed for Kinect

Kinect

[Cravis]

I see Microsoft's support line swamped with problems from the few poor saps that buy this.

[Bebpo]

should've just made a waggle wand like everyone else

[Howard Alan Treesong]

http://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2010-09-29-ms-advises-against-clutter-for-kinect

Looks like you're gonna have to clean up your Metallica tshirts, maxy.  :'(

does that mean I can't have a coffee table between my TV and my couch because it obscures the "floor plane"? wtf, MS, that's some bad feng shui

[Eel O'Brian]

I see Microsoft's support line swamped with problems from the few poor saps that buy this.

man, i already feel for those people working christmas

pissed off because they have to work the holiday, and on top of that they have to deal with someone screaming in their ear because their avatar is having an epileptic fit

[Diunx]

http://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2010-09-29-ms-advises-against-clutter-for-kinect

Looks like you're gonna have to clean up your Metallica tshirts, maxy.  :'(

I have to clean my room to play video games now? what a brave new world we live in.

[cool breeze]

guys, I read that playing children of eden with the kinect full body experience was a paradigm shift.  It's the type of game you want to play on easy and just experience.  You need to experience the magical experience before judging it.

there is a video on gametrailers that shows someone playing with the proper 360 controller.

[Diunx]

I'll just "experience" it at the mall.

[MyNameIsMethodis]

kinect being a piece of shit 

[archie4208]

http://www.vg247.com/2010/10/05/entire-kinect-manual-photographed-play-distances-power-details-more/

try wearing different colored clothing that contrasts with the background of your play space

Looks like Xbots are going to have to buy a new wardrobe to play Dance Central. 

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Or maybe play in the nude. 

[close]

[maxy]

Xbots have lots of wardrobe...we are not poor peasants

But nude gaming 

Hey I have a game that has to be played nude...wanna join me?
That could be a decent pick-up line...interesting

Archie
Kinect 

[EmCeeGrammar]

That manual shows the person having to move their coffee table just to play kinect. Ok, final prediction: Kinect sells well this holiday, afterwards has terrible word of mouth and sales stagnate and rapidly decline until Microsoft sweeps it under the rug and announces two more halo games.

[maxy]

So in other words it will be a fad just like Wii

[EmCeeGrammar]

No one ever had to move their coffee table to play Wii. And wii sold great for like 4 years straight. After Dance Central sells a million or two, kinect will be finished by next christmas.  To sustain the franchise, Harmonix will then have to develop their own knockoff camera and release it on separate platforms as a bundle.  Also, I'll get laid, yup.

[EmCeeGrammar]

I can just see it now.

"Dude, maxy, this isn't working, let's play something else"
"I had to move all of the furniture around for this and you didn't have the common courtesy to bring a change of clothes when you came over!"

[Don Flamenco]

aside from the rest of the seemingly endless list of special conditions Kinect needs to work, I have creaky floors in my apt building, as does every 20 something living in relatively older buildings in New York, Chicago, Boston, etc.  I would get destroyed by my neighbors and landlord after an hour or two of playing anything on this.   I would rather reserve my "making a fuck ton of noise" nights for sex.


Despite all this, this thing will probably have strong sales because the world sucks at life.  

[demi]

fat xbots playing in the nude