Author Topic: So, how about that Jesus? (Read 3601 times)

lordmaji · « **on:** December 24, 2010, 11:00:28 PM »

Since it's his so called bday. How about that Jesus? what do you think about him and his groupies?

lennedsay · « **Reply #1 on:** December 24, 2010, 11:07:43 PM »

Quote from: lordmaji on December 24, 2010, 11:00:28 PM

Since it's his so called bday. How about that Jesus? what do you think about him and his crew of flunkies?

Fixed. And I don't give a shit but I give less amounts of shit about so-called Santa, so maybe I can sneak into heaven anyway.

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #2 on:** December 24, 2010, 11:12:06 PM »

jesus is apparently too concerned with HOMOSINUALITY and THE RAPE OF THE UNITED STATES CONSTITUTION and A SOCIALIST MUSLIM KENYAN PREZNIT and MAN'S RIGHT TO EAT HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP to worry about a season of giving and kindness right now

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #3 on:** December 24, 2010, 11:21:34 PM »

He's a cool dude, haters gonna hate.

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #4 on:** December 24, 2010, 11:27:19 PM »

jesus is fine. the majority of his followers, on the other hand, are largely backwards anti-intellectuals and generally horrid hypocrites

Mandark · « **Reply #5 on:** December 24, 2010, 11:30:25 PM »

http://www.theonion.com/articles/area-man-passionate-defender-of-what-he-imagines-c,2849/

Replace "Constitution" with "Bible" and you wouldn't have to make that many changes in the article.

Himu · « **Reply #6 on:** December 24, 2010, 11:33:09 PM »

Isn't he the guy that died like a thief for everyone on Earth? He kinda rocks.

Eel O'Brian · « **Reply #7 on:** December 24, 2010, 11:33:40 PM »

i'll be burning in hell with the rest of you

all i ask is a room with a window so i can laugh at my enemies in between screams

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #8 on:** December 25, 2010, 12:22:09 AM »

I think Jesus is a pretty cool guy. eh heals the sick and doesnt afraid of anything.

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #9 on:** December 25, 2010, 12:28:06 AM »

Quote from: Van Cruncheon on December 24, 2010, 11:27:19 PM

jesus is fine. the majority of his followers, on the other hand, are largely backwards anti-intellectuals and generally horrid hypocrites

“I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”

-Gandhi

Mr. Gundam · « **Reply #10 on:** December 25, 2010, 03:28:45 AM »

We go to a green eco-friendly gay-loving hipster Lutheran church here in Seattle. Tonight's midnight service was a lot of fun. There was even an old Swedish fisherman who sang a bunch of Christmas songs in Swedish. Singing Silent Night lit by candles never gets old.

Positive Touch · « **Reply #11 on:** December 25, 2010, 04:12:32 AM »

celebrate the christmas spirit by watching passion of the christ with the whole family

tehjaybo · « **Reply #12 on:** December 25, 2010, 04:35:27 AM »

Third · « **Reply #13 on:** December 25, 2010, 04:56:43 AM »

Biggest scammer in history. I respect him for deluding so many people. But I won't fall for it.

Olivia Wilde Homo · « **Reply #14 on:** December 25, 2010, 08:02:28 AM »

Quote from: Billy Rygar on December 24, 2010, 11:13:13 PM

http://harpers.org/archive/2005/08/0080695

Essential reading (I'm actually serious. One of the best articles on Christianity in America I've ever read)

I think some big evangelical leader (Ted Haggard back in the day), I believe said that the only criteria for being a Christian is accepting that Jesus is your savior. They (the evangelical leaders) will handle the rest.

Positive Touch · « **Reply #15 on:** December 25, 2010, 11:36:22 AM »

i hear christians talk like that all the time. like, the only thing you have to do is "accept" jesus, and you only do that so you don't burn in hell. seriously this takes up like 90% of the preaching i've heard, and they sure as hell don't follow it up with any talk about tolerance or community improvement or anything. it's just "love god and tell everyone you know to do the same or you all roast in hell. thanks for coming!"

lordmaji · « **Reply #16 on:** December 25, 2010, 12:42:53 PM »

Quote from: Positive Touch on December 25, 2010, 11:36:22 AM

i hear christians talk like that all the time. like, the only thing you have to do is "accept" jesus, and you only do that so you don't burn in hell. seriously this takes up like 90% of the preaching i've heard, and they sure as hell don't follow it up with any talk about tolerance or community improvement or anything. it's just "love god and tell everyone you know to do the same or you all roast in hell. thanks for coming!"

Sounds about right in general.

The Southern Baptists seem to be 100% on this idea though.

TakingBackSunday · « **Reply #17 on:** December 25, 2010, 07:29:13 PM »

Jesus

I've spent the last two semesters taking very interesting classes regarding modern scholastic christian theory and synoptic gospel discussion classes. They're general education requirements but I find them fascinating and I feel much more learned in Christianity and Jesus. Moreso than any regular ol' occasional Sunday church-goer who doesn't believe in evolution.

TakingBackSunday · « **Reply #18 on:** December 25, 2010, 07:42:04 PM »

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #19 on:** December 25, 2010, 07:57:43 PM »

Quote from: Wrath2X on December 25, 2010, 07:38:55 PM

Jesus is a cunt

[youtube=560,345]IONyLZn0pLI[/youtube]

Boogie · « **Reply #20 on:** December 26, 2010, 12:25:15 AM »

JESUS

I'll pray for all y'all heathens heading for hell, if I have the time.

lordmaji · « **Reply #21 on:** December 26, 2010, 01:17:19 AM »

Quote from: Wrath2X on December 26, 2010, 12:40:27 AM

Big mosh pit in hell bitches

They'll be plenty of bands in hell to rock out to.

Robo · « **Reply #22 on:** December 27, 2010, 12:53:32 AM »

[something concerning excellent gardening considering the wages, hyuck hyuck]

Yoritomo · « **Reply #23 on:** December 27, 2010, 02:46:27 PM »

Quote from: Van Cruncheon on December 24, 2010, 11:12:06 PM

jesus is apparently too concerned with HOMOSINUALITY and THE RAPE OF THE UNITED STATES CONSTITUTION and A SOCIALIST MUSLIM KENYAN PREZNIT and MAN'S RIGHT TO EAT HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP to worry about a season of giving and kindness right now

I spent an hour trying to explain to my mother-in-law why the 5000 year leap and Cleon Skousen are insane. I have to admit I did have a hilarious thanksgiving with my Mother-in-law's extended family. It was nuts. Her nephew is a lobbyist for supplement companies and had the nuttiest Obama consipiracies I've ever heard. The worst part is due to his job location of Washington her family was eating it up.

Although I have to admit the fearmongering that led them to huge investments in silver paid off.

GilloD · « **Reply #24 on:** December 27, 2010, 08:28:53 PM »

As the resident Christian dude: Jesus was fucking awesome, a gnarly radical and a totally cool dude. Too bad many, many people have worked double time to twist his legacy for their own sick, greedy needs.

This man was about love, no matter what. He'll always take you back. Just be cool to each other- The message of the Bible is clear if you're not trying to use it to justify something: Try and be a good person, it's hard work, you'll fuck it up, it's okay.

Arbys Roast Beef Sandwich · « **Reply #25 on:** December 27, 2010, 09:07:12 PM »

Quote from: Van Cruncheon on December 24, 2010, 11:27:19 PM

jesus is fine. the majority of his followers, on the other hand, are largely backwards anti-intellectuals and generally horrid hypocrites

[youtube=560,345][/youtube]

EmCeeGrammar · « **Reply #26 on:** December 28, 2010, 02:27:06 AM »

Jesus knew he wasn't anybody's messiah but still used it for political gain. The Jews knew his shit stank and hung him out to dry like the charlatan he was. Bunch of fairy tales later and people want to pretend he ever did anything for the world. Dead, buried, gone, GOOD!

Himu · « **Reply #27 on:** December 28, 2010, 02:37:48 AM »

haha wow.

is there any ACTUAL historical evidence for jesus' existence aside from the holy bible?

EmCeeGrammar · « **Reply #28 on:** December 28, 2010, 02:43:12 AM »

GilloD · « **Reply #29 on:** December 28, 2010, 06:36:20 AM »

Quote from: EmCeeGrammar on December 28, 2010, 02:27:06 AM

Jesus knew he wasn't anybody's messiah but still used it for political gain. The Jews knew his shit stank and hung him out to dry like the charlatan he was. Bunch of fairy tales later and people want to pretend he ever did anything for the world. Dead, buried, gone, GOOD!

INTERNET COOL DUDE #40789: The "Can you believe how KUH-RAZEEEEE I'm being about religion??!?!?!" guy.

Diunx · « **Reply #30 on:** December 28, 2010, 08:30:10 AM »

I wouldn't be an atheist if we had some cool gods like the greeks instead of some boring megalomaniac and his hippie son.

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #31 on:** December 28, 2010, 09:09:03 AM »

Also, I would find organized religion and those who practice it a whole lot more legit if Christianity's oldest recognized organization wasn't just a front for boy-fucking, which is pretty much indisputable at this point.

Diunx · « **Reply #32 on:** December 28, 2010, 09:25:58 AM »

Not to mention that their religion leader is a sith lord.

EmCeeGrammar · « **Reply #33 on:** December 28, 2010, 09:49:00 AM »

Quote from: GilloD on December 28, 2010, 06:36:20 AM

Quote from: EmCeeGrammar on December 28, 2010, 02:27:06 AM
Jesus knew he wasn't anybody's messiah but still used it for political gain. The Jews knew his shit stank and hung him out to dry like the charlatan he was. Bunch of fairy tales later and people want to pretend he ever did anything for the world. Dead, buried, gone, GOOD!

INTERNET COOL DUDE #40789: The "Can you believe how KUH-RAZEEEEE I'm being about religion??!?!?!" guy.

You just said you were the resident christian dude, which constitutes believing in gods, angels, demons etc by the 'virtue' of blind faith. By strict definitions, you are insane.

Mupepe · « **Reply #34 on:** December 28, 2010, 10:28:52 AM »

this thread turned shitty really fast. Are we GAF now?

lordmaji · « **Reply #35 on:** December 28, 2010, 10:52:08 AM »

Quote from: Mupepe on December 28, 2010, 10:28:52 AM

this thread turned shitty really fast. Are we GAF now?

Awww Mupps.

It's fun to see what others opinions are on Black, White, Mexican, Asian, Arabic Jesus.

Mupepe · « **Reply #36 on:** December 28, 2010, 10:52:32 AM »

Mexican Jesus doesn't exist. the rest do

lordmaji · « **Reply #37 on:** December 28, 2010, 10:54:41 AM »

Quote from: Mupepe on December 28, 2010, 10:52:32 AM

Mexican Jesus doesn't exist. the rest do

I've seen Mexicanish looking Jesus pictures in Saginaw MI!

lordmaji · « **Reply #38 on:** December 28, 2010, 11:03:31 AM »

Quote from: Wrath2X on December 28, 2010, 11:01:33 AM

jesus was jewish/middle eastern

Geez, why do you have to bring reality into this!

Robo · « **Reply #39 on:** December 28, 2010, 11:10:40 AM »

Jesus was a white man in The Matrix. Case closed.

Himu · « **Reply #40 on:** December 28, 2010, 01:30:55 PM »

THE GREEKS

Himu · « **Reply #41 on:** December 28, 2010, 01:34:25 PM »

Quote from: lordmaji on December 28, 2010, 10:54:41 AM

Quote from: Mupepe on December 28, 2010, 10:52:32 AM
Mexican Jesus doesn't exist. the rest do

I've seen Mexicanish looking Jesus pictures in Saginaw MI!

[youtube=560,345]_a0yDfCGtRs[/youtube]

lordmaji · « **Reply #42 on:** December 28, 2010, 02:48:41 PM »

Quote from: Stringer Bell on December 28, 2010, 01:34:25 PM

Quote from: lordmaji on December 28, 2010, 10:54:41 AM
Quote from: Mupepe on December 28, 2010, 10:52:32 AM
Mexican Jesus doesn't exist. the rest do

I've seen Mexicanish looking Jesus pictures in Saginaw MI!

[youtube=560,345]_a0yDfCGtRs[/youtube]

I need to go and watch that movie again.

News:

Author Topic: So, how about that Jesus? (Read 3601 times)