Christmas Gift Etiquette

[Mupepe]

Okay, my friend is mad at me right now and I'm kinda confused.  Earlier this month she started ragging on me about what to get me for Christmas.  I told her a few times that she didn't have to get me anything.  She didn't accept that, so I told her, get me whatever you want.  I'll like it.  She didn't accept that so I started telling her "get me a pack of gum." 

So today she was at the store and she was looking at games and named off one that I liked.  So I asked her how many copies were left and said I would go tomorrow morning to get it.  She asked me "Do you want me to buy it for you?"  I told her no and that I would get it tomorrow. 

Is it just me or is it an awkward position when someone asks you that?  It just feels rude to say "Yeah!  Get it for me!"  I mean, the idea of gift giving is to pay attention to what that particular person likes and get them something you think they will like.  So she finally got pissed and said "Well, what it is I'm doing that bothers you, don't worry about it.  You'll get your pack of gum." 

askdlj;f  I love her to death and she's a sweetheart, but what the fuck!?  I mean, we know each other well enough and we talk enough where if she really wanted to please me, I think she knows what to get me.  Shit, she could have just bought me the game and surprised me or something. 

And I made the mistake of saying that I thought it was kinda rude to tell someone "Yeah, buy me that for Christmas!"  She said "Well, I did it to you!"  But uhh, no she didn't.  I was at a store shopping and I called her and said "Do you need a case for your Zune?  Would a silver one go good with it?"  She said "Uhh yeah" and I bought it.  End of discussion.  I didn't put her in a tough spot by saying "You want me to buy it for you?"

That question is not fucking necessary.  You already know they fucking want it!

Am I actually in the wrong?

[PhoenixWright]

Well, by asking her that, you DID imply it, but that was an awkward position she put you in. She could've just BS'ed you that she forgot to put money in the parking meter and bought it while you were gone or something.

[Bacon]

Okay, my friend is mad at me right now and I'm kinda confused.  Earlier this month she started ragging on me about what to get me for Christmas.  I told her a few times that she didn't have to get me anything.  She didn't accept that, so I told her, get me whatever you want.  I'll like it.  She didn't accept that so I started telling her "get me a pack of gum." 

So today she was at the store and she was looking at games and named off one that I liked.  So I asked her how many copies were left and said I would go tomorrow morning to get it.  She asked me "Do you want me to buy it for you?"  I told her no and that I would get it tomorrow. 

Is it just me or is it an awkward position when someone asks you that?  It just feels rude to say "Yeah!  Get it for me!"  I mean, the idea of gift giving is to pay attention to what that particular person likes and get them something you think they will like.  So she finally got pissed and said "Well, what it is I'm doing that bothers you, don't worry about it.  You'll get your pack of gum." 

askdlj;f  I love her to death and she's a sweetheart, but what the fuck!?  I mean, we know each other well enough and we talk enough where if she really wanted to please me, I think she knows what to get me.  Shit, she could have just bought me the game and surprised me or something. 

And I made the mistake of saying that I thought it was kinda rude to tell someone "Yeah, buy me that for Christmas!"  She said "Well, I did it to you!"  But uhh, no she didn't.  I was at a store shopping and I called her and said "Do you need a case for your Zune?  Would a silver one go good with it?"  She said "Uhh yeah" and I bought it.  End of discussion.  I didn't put her in a tough spot by saying "You want me to buy it for you?"

That question is not fucking necessary.  You already know they fucking want it!

Am I actually in the wrong?

You both sound like shitheads.

[whiteACID]

Slap that bitch and fuck her in the ass. That'll prove to her your etiquette factor.

[Mupepe]

Well, by asking her that, you DID imply it, but that was an awkward position she put you in. She could've just BS'ed you that she forgot to put money in the parking meter and bought it while you were gone or something.

Well we were on the phone.  And I only asked because it was DDS which I have not been able to find easily here in Houston.

You both sound like shitheads.

Rodi still doesn't love you!

Slap that bitch and fuck her in the ass. That'll prove to her your etiquette factor.

You probably have the best idea I have ever heard

[FlameOfCallandor]

I never get people what they ask for, for christmas. Takes the fun out of the whole thing. A gift is supposed to be personal. When the other person uses or sees your gift he/she should think of you.

[Mupepe]

I never get people what they ask for, for christmas. Takes the fun out of the whole thing. A gift is supposed to be personal. When the other person uses or sees your gift he/she should think of you.

EXACTLY!

[MrAngryFace]

I think what a lot of people need to remember that christmas is about the GIVING as much as the RECEIVING. A real friend will recognize when a person needs to be left to their own devices because that is what they want, or if they need to be told what to get.

Some people are afraid to buy gifts yet they still love to give. That means they MUST BE TOLD. Otherwise they spend the next month, at least, wondering deep inside if the person REALLY liked the gift and if maybe theyre a bad friend for this reason and that reason over a fucking CHRISTMAS GIFT.

The WORST christmas gift anyone can give is forcing people to give gifts based off of their own approach to christmas. I personally dont care, ill take what I get, but I know if a person asks what I want, its because they would feel more comfortable doing it that way and ultimately for an enjoyable christmas, im willing to do it their way.

Being stubborn about how and what gifts you get doesnt teach people the meaning of christmas, it just makes you seem like an unreasonable jerk.

[FlameOfCallandor]

If someone wont get you a gift unless you tell them what to get then they probably don't know you very well.

I would rather have something personal that lets me know that said person was thinking of me, than something generic.

[Mupepe]

I think what a lot of people need to remember that christmas is about the GIVING as much as the RECEIVING. A real friend will recognize when a person needs to be left to their own devices because that is what they want, or if they need to be told what to get.

Some people are afraid to buy gifts yet they still love to give. That means they MUST BE TOLD. Otherwise they spend the next month, at least, wondering deep inside if the person REALLY liked the gift and if maybe theyre a bad friend for this reason and that reason over a fucking CHRISTMAS GIFT.

The WORST christmas gift anyone can give is forcing people to give gifts based off of their own approach to christmas. I personally dont care, ill take what I get, but I know if a person asks what I want, its because they would feel more comfortable doing it that way and ultimately for an enjoyable christmas, im willing to do it their way.

Being stubborn about how and what gifts you get doesnt teach people the meaning of christmas, it just makes you seem like an unreasonable jerk.

It's not that I'm trying to teach her the meaning of Christmas or anything.  It just feels uncomfortable to tell someone to get me something.  And she knows lots of stuff that I want, on a daily basis we talk about movies, games and cd's that we both want.  And I even explained my position to her so she knows I'm not trying to be an asshole. 

Edit: And note that we're really close friends and know each other very well.  She has surprised me with gifts before, I don't know why she is having a hard time in this particular case.

[MrAngryFace]

Its a christmas gift, if the 'issue' makes you feel uncomfortable there is something more serious at play here. For FlameOfCal its clear he has some issues regarding selfishness and how christmas must be how he wants it or its not christmas.

For you, well it just makes you uncomfortable, but I am 98% sure its a far different level of discomfort than say, your balls under a mini-van. I suspect that you value the friendship enough to endure that discomfort.

Life is FULL of give and take, and the issue of christmas gifts isnt really the one that deserves any level of debate.

[FlameOfCallandor]

Its a christmas gift, if the 'issue' makes you feel uncomfortable there is something more serious at play here. For FlameOfCal its clear he has some issues regarding selfishness and how christmas must be how he wants it or its not christmas.

For you, well it just makes you uncomfortable, but I am 98% sure its a far different level of discomfort than say, your balls under a mini-van. I suspect that you value the friendship enough to endure that discomfort.

Life is FULL of give and take, and the issue of christmas gifts isnt really the one that deserves any level of debate.

 

[MrAngryFace]

Edit: And note that we're really close friends and know each other very well.  She has surprised me with gifts before, I don't know why she is having a hard time in this particular case.

I asked my close friends what they wanted, and got them that, I even got it in front of them. Hell, it might have even made them uncomfortable, but they didnt say a word. Thats awesome. Wanna know why? Cause I KNOW they got what they wanted, and in return they tollerated by very MINOR gift giving quirk.

In their case I didnt tell them what I wanted, and they bought me lots of neat stuff. I appreciated all of it. See how both sides of the fence won? We still had christmas, we still had fun, we still gave awesome gifts and appreciated them.

Christmas IS NOT A TEST TO DETERMINE IF PEOPLE ARE YOUR MOST TRUE FRIENDS IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD.

[FlameOfCallandor]

Just tell her to suprise you.

[Mupepe]

Nothing more serious is at play here.  I just never ask anyone to get me anything and it's not a big deal if my friends don't get me anything.  So most of the time, they'll ask me "what do you want for christmas?" and it's always hard to respond on the spot because usually I just can't think of anything.  Then I tend to tell them, "hm I'm not sure." and later on forget about it.

And a lot of times, it's the timing or current situation when she asks me about the gift that makes it uncomfortable.

But it's not a big deal anyways.  We talked about it last night.