The Official Psychoanalysis GAF Thread

[Phoenix Dark]

Double Dash was awesome. But then again I have 3 brothers, so it was perfect for us

[Cindi Mayweather]

3 is always the worst ND game entry

[Van Cruncheon]

The most notable fan shitfits I remember are Frank Provo's review of Shenmue (6.7 I think?  The only honest review of the game at the time), the Mario Kart Double Dash review from IGN (7.9), and of course the brilliant Gerstmann review of Twilight Princess (8.8, which was masterfully followed by giving the GC version an 8.9).  Time will tell if the Eurogamer Uncharted 3 "8" will join that mighty legion, but it's looking good so far.

of course it will. does ANYONE remember the other scores or reviews given to shemue, dd, or tp - or even their metacritic/gr averages? the canonical score for a game is the one that gets the most attention. as it should be.

[Cindi Mayweather]

then again, i can't imagine uncharted 3 being worse than uncharted 1. jesus what a mediocre game.

[Phoenix Dark]

3 is always the worst ND game entry

might want to brush up on the math skills, breh

[FoneBone]

The most notable fan shitfits I remember are Frank Provo's review of Shenmue (6.7 I think?  The only honest review of the game at the time), the Mario Kart Double Dash review from IGN (7.9), and of course the brilliant Gerstmann review of Twilight Princess (8.8, which was masterfully followed by giving the GC version an 8.9).  Time will tell if the Eurogamer Uncharted 3 "8" will join that mighty legion, but it's looking good so far.

Anal-retentive notes - Shenmue was a 6.8 (c'mon, it was a GAF meme for years!)  And the IGN Double Dash controversy was made all the more hilarious because it was promptly followed by Gamespot giving it the exact same score.

[Cindi Mayweather]

3 is always the worst ND game entry

might want to brush up on the math skills, breh

Crash 3
Jak 3

pretty sure the same will be for Uncharted 3, though I'm sure it won't be worse than 1, it'll probably be worse than 2.

Hoping it turns out well, though.

[Tasty]

honestly, as much as i enjoy twilight princess once you get out of the intro chunk, that 8.8 is even looking a little high.

8 is about what the intro chunk should get, the dungeons are easily 9.5 material.

[Cindi Mayweather]

Sorry Himu, but both Crash and Jak had awesome first games. Jak in particular had one great game in the first and whatever the second and third tried to be.

Jak 2 > Jak 1 > Jak 3
Crash 2 > Crash 1 > Crash 3
Uncharted 2 > Uncharted 1

looks like we're right on schedule

[Cindi Mayweather]

hahaha 8 for the intro chunk?  people shouldn't fucking dread playing '8' material, Andy.  that intro is like a three hour 5-6 game with a 9 game chasing it.  A shaky 9 at that.  I think if I were still in such a poor state that I was earning my living writing reviews, I'd have given the GCN version an 8.5 and the Wii version an 8.

i had wii version and when you do that fishing tutorial I was stuck on it for like 20 minutes because of the new fangled wii controls. went to gamefaqs, and there were like 100 topics about the same fucking thing

[BlueTsunami]

Man, all this talk of Uncharted, Gears, Zelda and shit made me realize I only play Bethesda games and the odd JRPG

[Tasty]

TP's dungeons kinda paled in comparison to OOT, MM or WW for most of the game.

Nah, no way. The only two duds were the final dungeons. The rest were incredible.

[Cindi Mayweather]

TP's dungeons kinda paled in comparison to OOT, MM or WW for most of the game.

Nah, no way. The only two duds were the final dungeons. The rest were incredible.

He said most of the game. He has a point, TP's gameplay doesn't pick up until the second half, though I really like the first half.

[Crushed]

literally just realized the other day that every tp dungeon was this:

go right
go left
go forward

[Cindi Mayweather]

isn't the snow mansion better about that?

[Crushed]

even that one!

"i left the mirror in this side!" "no that side!" "no this side!" "okay, i show you way forward"

[etiolate]

i lurved windwakers world and stuff like the forest dungeon, forest dungeon boss, the hyrule castle segment and being able to go out exploring in a boat

[Mr. Gundam]

Aside from the terrible sailing fetch quest, I really enjoyed Wind Waker.

[Cindi Mayweather]

I liked Wind Waker's sailing. I would fill out my map just sailing around because I'm a masochist.

Dungeons were forgettable.

[Phoenix Dark]

I loved sailing around in Wind Waker, especially at night. The dungeons were fun and I loooved the controls. Sadly I never beat the game, but one of these days I'll whip it out and finish

[Crushed]

wind waker has a really odd, thoughtful ending for a zelda game that in retrospect i've kind of interpreted as a message from nintendo to stop clinging to old concepts of hyrule and the legend of zelda and let a new generation of gamers find its own legend of zelda

then they decided to make twilight princess brown and "mature" and oot-like to sell to american nostalgic nin-nerds 

[Cindi Mayweather]

oh, come off it. TP has more than brown in it -- there's green too!

[Crushed]

and then the game broke out some weird greens and purples, but made sure you were a fucking dog hunting bugs with the same exact bad background music for most of those

[MCD]

Man, all this talk of Uncharted, Gears, Zelda and shit made me realize I only play Bethesda games and the odd JRPG

You poor thing.

[Tasty]

wind waker has a really odd, thoughtful ending for a zelda game that in retrospect i've kind of interpreted as a message from nintendo to stop clinging to old concepts of hyrule and the legend of zelda and let a new generation of gamers find its own legend of zelda

then they decided to make twilight princess brown and "mature" and oot-like to sell to american nostalgic nin-nerds 

In all actuality, that entire game was sort of exactly that. I'll never truly understand how they had the balls to make a game like that hot off the heels of Majora's Mask. That's like the biggest 180 in Nintendo franchise history and I doubt anything like it will happen again.

Even back then, I think Nintendo knew how big OoT was and that the only way out of its shadow was to do something completely different (but staying within the same series with similar conventions, obviously.)

[cool breeze]

The most notable fan shitfits I remember are Frank Provo's review of Shenmue (6.7 I think?  The only honest review of the game at the time), the Mario Kart Double Dash review from IGN (7.9), and of course the brilliant Gerstmann review of Twilight Princess (8.8, which was masterfully followed by giving the GC version an 8.9).  Time will tell if the Eurogamer Uncharted 3 "8" will join that mighty legion, but it's looking good so far.

almost maps out who were the most depraved for each generation.  right now it's more of a tie between nintendo and sony fanthings.

wind waker has a really odd, thoughtful ending for a zelda game that in retrospect i've kind of interpreted as a message from nintendo to stop clinging to old concepts of hyrule and the legend of zelda and let a new generation of gamers find its own legend of zelda

then they decided to make twilight princess brown and "mature" and oot-like to sell to american nostalgic nin-nerds 

I wouldn't be surprised if they saw Lord of the Rings popularity and jumped on something similar.  Also, Phantom Hourglass aped Pirates of the Caribbean.  Spirit Tracks aped Densha de Go and really awful kiddie anime.  Skyward Sword has similarities to Avatar.

[EmCeeGrammar]

Oh hey Crushed is here.  I was hoping to have an audience for some Gerstmann bashing.

edit: Gertsman?
fake edit 2: Gutsman?

[Crushed]

wind waker has a really odd, thoughtful ending for a zelda game that in retrospect i've kind of interpreted as a message from nintendo to stop clinging to old concepts of hyrule and the legend of zelda and let a new generation of gamers find its own legend of zelda

then they decided to make twilight princess brown and "mature" and oot-like to sell to american nostalgic nin-nerds 

In all actuality, that entire game was sort of exactly that. I'll never truly understand how they had the balls to make a game like that hot off the heels of Majora's Mask. That's like the biggest 180 in Nintendo franchise history and I doubt anything like it will happen again.

Even back then, I think Nintendo knew how big OoT was and that the only way out of its shadow was to do something completely different (but staying within the same series with similar conventions, obviously.)

like the whole story is that there was once this super-amazing hero of time that everyone talked about because he was the greatest ever but then there's this new kid and everyone kind of picks on him for not being the dude from the past, but then he proves himself on his own merits. the remnants of the past, everyone who sees him in relation to some old story about ocarinas and horses, gets left behind while the seeds for a new future are sewn.

over a year later, manchildren in los angeles are crying and screaming because link is a Teenage Anime on a horse fighting uruk-hai and goblins in an empty green texture


edit: oh yeah, def. agreed on the LotR reference. The corrupted Goron boss was literally the Balrog. And let's not forget Phantom Hourglass, with its bumbling greedy-with-a-heart-of-gold pirate who loves the sea and is totally dissheveled and insists on being called "Captain" and has a loopy brass theme. Definitely NOT a gangrenous Jack Sparrow!!

[EmCeeGrammar]

Skyward Sword's influences are Studio Ghibli movies.  Pay attention to the way the fire temple boss' legs move as it crawls.  Its eeirly similar to several creatures' animations seen throughout Ghibli films.  The scope of the skyworld recalls Laputa.  The forest area has Totoro-esque creatures (including a big one).  The soundtrack reminds me a lot of Mononoke's so far.

There's other things I'm having trouble remembering now, but I doubt Avatar of all things were an inspiration.

[BlueTsunami]

Man, all this talk of Uncharted, Gears, Zelda and shit made me realize I only play Bethesda games and the odd JRPG

You poor thing.

Its like S&M; hurts so good

[cool breeze]

in Avatar there's a scene where cataliens are tested with taming a flying creature, and then fly around floating islands.
in Skyward Sword there's a scene where students are tested with taming a flying creature, and then flying around floating islands.

at least that aspect seems similar.  I mean, it could just be Nausicca with an animal serving as means for flying; floating islands from Laputa.  Whatever!

the pop culture influences are another reason why the timeline stuff is dumb.


edit: to bring it back to Uncharted:

Uncharted is Romancing the Stone
Uncharted 2 is National Treasure 1

I'm hoping Uncharted 3 takes cues from The Mummy Returns

[Cindi Mayweather]

AVATAR

suck it haters

[MCD]

Man, all this talk of Uncharted, Gears, Zelda and shit made me realize I only play Bethesda games and the odd JRPG

You poor thing.

Its like S&M; hurts so good

You into femdom?

Pegging is my favorite.

[BlueTsunami]

Man, all this talk of Uncharted, Gears, Zelda and shit made me realize I only play Bethesda games and the odd JRPG

You poor thing.

Its like S&M; hurts so good

You into femdom?

Pegging is my favorite.

More like pinching, tugging, smacking. I can't do pegging, I have trouble keeping shits in as it is.

[MCD]

Man, all this talk of Uncharted, Gears, Zelda and shit made me realize I only play Bethesda games and the odd JRPG

You poor thing.

Its like S&M; hurts so good

You into femdom?

Pegging is my favorite.

More like pinching, tugging, smacking. I can't do pegging, I have trouble keeping shits in as it is.

Fucking buggy Bethesda games.

[Cerveza mas fina]

Fallout 3 wasn't buggy, Fallout 3 New Vegas was.

[Shaka Khan]

Fallout 3 wasn't buggy.

This is why Bethesda needs Obsidian more than other way around.

[Cerveza mas fina]

I don't get it. Obsidian makes the buggy shit.

[Shaka Khan]

Buggier shit, making Bethesda look good.

[Oblivion]

You have been banned for the following reason:

You may not be 100% racist, but you are definitely 200% sexist.

Oh, come on. 

[Cerveza mas fina]

What did you do?

[Oblivion]

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=32088431&postcount=62

[Cerveza mas fina]

You got banned for that? 

Kagari is such a cunt. Bet she hasn't had dick in ages.

[The Sceneman]

lol should have stopped talking about Nintendo

[Cerveza mas fina]

Must be wiitards crying Vita = WiiU 

[Shaka Khan]

Honestly, some look even visually worse than PS2 games, like Tales of Innocence R, and SE's games. Those are basically DS and PSP complete remakes ports. Some of the less impressive looking games include Little King's Story, Shinobido 2, Disgaea 3, Y's and Persona 4 Golden. Those are straight up PS2 efforts. So I don't think those claims are baseless, but they are ignoring first party titles and down-ports.

[Eel O'Brian]

Obsidian also knows how to make an interesting game.  I wish they could keep their shit together a bit better, because their work is head and shoulders above both Bioware and Bethesda aside from the bugs and schedule issues.  Sadly the bugs and the schedule issues are always going to plague them.

FO3 > FO:NV

[Cerveza mas fina]

Word

[Mupepe]

Himu, you really called Uncharted a mediocre game???  That game was fucking amazing when it came out!  I DON'T KNOW YOU

It's not as amazing now a few years later, but fucking shit was awesome-wowsome on release day.

[Narag]

[Cerveza mas fina]

 

[CajoleJuice]

(Image removed from quote.)

fuck

[cool breeze]

Vita : there's a few people trying to convince themselves that the vita games look like Ps2 games. Boy are THEY in for a surprise!

pretty much every third party game does look like a PS2 game running at a higher resolution.  the Sony games are sub-PS3, but still in that next gen range.  and even some of the Sony games don't look too hot.  but it's powerful enough to almost get there if someone put in the effort.

similarly, the 3DS ranges from N64 to sub-PS2 geometry w/shaders.  better in some areas, worse in others.  RE:R has nice lighting and effects, but it's blocky and muddy.  nintendo's own games look worse than their gamecube/wii equals.  but like how Vita has PS2 games running at a higher resolution, 3DS has dreamcast games running in 3D.

[Shaka Khan]

I honestly feel that with the Vita we're reaching the point where the tech isn't going to be what holds back developers, rather the limited sales potential of the market.

Real talk gives me boners.

[Broseidon]

You got banned for that? 

Kagari is such a cunt. Bet she hasn't had dick in ages.

Her 'stache probably puts guys off.

[Mupepe]

I dunno.  I could go for a mustache ride

[Mupepe]

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=32123106&postcount=79

Jesus.  This guy is fucking annoying in that thread. 

[Shaka Khan]

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=32123106&postcount=79

Jesus.  This guy is fucking annoying in that thread. 

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=32123106&postcount=52

This guy is way worse!

[Mupepe]

FUCK YOU! 

Fine.  If you hate me so much I'll just stop posting I guess.

[ZephyrFate]

Himu, you really called Uncharted a mediocre game???  That game was fucking amazing when it came out!  I DON'T KNOW YOU

It's not as amazing now a few years later, but fucking shit was awesome-wowsome on release day.

Uncharted 2 was very mediocre. All the gorgeous setpieces in the world couldn't make up for generic characters and cringe-worthy B-rate dialogue.