I have to say though, right now I'm the happiest I've ever been. I love my new job. Going to work everyday is FUN and so much better than all the years of school over the years. I love how there's no BS time where you're wasting time for no reason. I'm always working on one thing then moving to another and there's just like constant stuff going on all day at the firm. But it's great because everything you're doing is helping people out and when you talk to them and they are super thankful and friendly it makes your day that much better. And coming up with solutions and good ideas is satisfying. Most of the opposing attorneys in the business/real estate/injury areas are nice guys too and talking with them is just two guys (or girls) being friendly to each other in a chivalrous sport. Plus since there's no JOB TIME and just billable hour time, I can just walk out the door whenever and go get some coffee or look at PC videocards or check some websites and then get back to work on my own pace. It's great.
Plus I love my new car. Driving around is soooo much fun in my S2000. Everyday I take longer routes than I need to, to get more drive in. Today I found out that I'd never actually FULLY pushed the gas pedal down because I had to pass someone on the freeway and I just hit the pedal to the ground and zomggggg it was faaast. Love it.
And then when I'm home in the evenings, I don't feel like there's anything I have to do. I'm not in the middle of some 50 hour rpg, or catching up on some 50 ep show. Nah. I just do whatever at any moment. Talk to a friend, browse some internet, play an hour of a game or watch some anime or something, take photos and edit them all night. Browse random dating sites. Tons to do, so always entertained until I'm ready to zzz for the night. Plus I've been looking around for places in town and it's nice having an actual salary with money in my pocket so I feel free to do whatever I want at anytime. It's been a while since I've had total freedom to live my life.
So to me the girl stuff is like a delicious donut from the best donut shop a far ways away. Do I need the donut to make me fat and feel sick afterwards? Nope. Life is good, can stay skinny. But if I had a delicious legendary donut in my hand, would my great day be even greater? Sure. A cute gf to cuddle around with and have some non-forum/internet human to talk with would be nice. Thus, right now I'm just kind of looking around and dipping my toes in the water. If I go on a few dates or something, maybe it'll be nice but I won't think too much about it. Just see how the water flows and the wind blows. If they don't work out, no biggie either. At this point I'll likely keep meeting people throughout the next 10 years.
The only thing that gets me thinking in the negative is the idea of a girl who I can actually watch anime tv shows with. Aka, the female version Prole. And she doesn't exist. Or at least I'm not going to meet her through the internet and probably not through irl either. If I wanted to meet this girl, I needed to do this about a decade ago. Opportunity has long passed I think, and that makes me a little sad. Instead I will be relegated to having my only friends who I can talk about anime/manga with be the nice EB fellas in our very own anime/manga thread and duckroll because we go way back. You know how when you talk with someone, there needs to be at least that one common interest or else you have nothing to discuss besides asking each other questions. Every single time I talk with a girl, our link ends up being music; which is lolz considering music is one of my smaller hobbies and I really don't keep up with modern music. But my other hobbies are anime, manga, games, movies, and photography and well that's about it and most girls don't have much to talk about on those subjects. So music it is. Every girl I've dated or even just kept e-mails going for a week or more has boiled down to "oh man, you were into Ska shows back in the day too? Remember so and so" and that's basically what holds the relationship together for a while.
I don't know if it's funny or sad but every girl I've dated or had multiple back and forth replies with (aka they're interested/I'm interested) has been THE SAME GIRL. They are all tall (usually my height or a few inches higher; never a smaller girl), pale, white girls with long/medium black hair and maybe a tattoo or three who are punk/hipster and were into ska/punk at some point in their life and music is a major part of their lives. Maybe it's that this is the only type of girl that motivates me to really strike up conversations, or maybe these are the only types of girls who are interested in conversing back. No idea, but after the 4th or 5th or 6th girl who is the exact same physical layout, it's just kind of weird. It's like only enjoying one type of sushi. Maybe it's just because I'm used to this type of girl since it was my first gf and so it's the less pressure more comfort zone because I know how to relate to them. I probably should go out of my comfort zone but I really don't know how. I physically don't find most women attractive, so that kind of stops me from actively interacting with them.
I don't really have the answers, but then again I don't really know what I'm looking for or doing either. It's a good thing everything else in my life is rock solid so I don't need to dwell on it too much, and I can just say throw my hands up yell some yiddish and see how the world spins each day.
