Author Topic: The problem with getting old and women  (Read 20666 times)

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Himu

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Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #60 on: May 24, 2011, 05:38:30 PM »
I just want to know when we can expect Rygar II

He got the snip, dude. Never.
That never happened!  But seriously, never.

Oh, I remember you contemplating getting the snip before, so I assumed you did it by now.
IYKYK

Human Snorenado

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Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #61 on: May 24, 2011, 05:51:49 PM »
One more important point:

Any serious relationship means compromise. Some big, some small. You are not going to always get your way. You are going to change and ideally you are going to want that change.

If you look for a relationship thinking that your life is perfect as is and you're "not going to change for anyone!" you are going to die alone. It doesn't matter if your hobby is videogaming or body building.

Girls don't just want you; they want you in a relationship. If you are not willing to commit to anything larger than yourself, women will know and they will not want anything to do with you. They will know.

I really can't emphasize this enough, especially the bolded last part there.  Aside from the lazy, chubby, smartass yet somehow a human avatar of doubt thing I've got going on, the essential reason I'm perpetually single is that I honestly have no interest in compromising myself for anyone.  I'm essentially Stalin in a relationship- I don't give a fuck how many people have to die, I'm getting my way.  Which is why I've kind of stopped looking for a mate.  Either I'll change or I'll die alone, and honestly I'm fine with either.
yar

Howard Alan Treesong

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Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #62 on: May 24, 2011, 06:02:07 PM »
One more important point:

Any serious relationship means compromise. Some big, some small. You are not going to always get your way. You are going to change and ideally you are going to want that change.

If you look for a relationship thinking that your life is perfect as is and you're "not going to change for anyone!" you are going to die alone. It doesn't matter if your hobby is videogaming or body building.

Girls don't just want you; they want you in a relationship. If you are not willing to commit to anything larger than yourself, women will know and they will not want anything to do with you. They will know.

I really can't emphasize this enough, especially the bolded last part there.  Aside from the lazy, chubby, smartass yet somehow a human avatar of doubt thing I've got going on, the essential reason I'm perpetually single is that I honestly have no interest in compromising myself for anyone.  I'm essentially Stalin in a relationship- I don't give a fuck how many people have to die, I'm getting my way.  Which is why I've kind of stopped looking for a mate.  Either I'll change or I'll die alone, and honestly I'm fine with either.

Yeah, I mean, if you understand that - and accept that - that is totally cool! I have single friends who have decided they are going to go their own way for the rest of their earthbound lives, and that is fine. But Forever Alone on your own terms is very different from Forever Alone and you don't know why.

Now to talk you down off that ledge, at the risk of repeating AA clichés: "one day at a time." You get to know someone before you date them. You date someone casually before you date them seriously. You date someone seriously before you date them long-term. You date someone long-term before you get engaged, married, start a family, etc. etc. Every step is built upon the ones before it, and you shouldn't be worrying about about Stage 8-4 when you can't even beat 1-3 yet. So to speak.

spoiler (click to show/hide)
[close]

One more thing: most sensible girls will allow you your own space and your own hobbies, including (non-creepy) games or anime. It just can't be all encompassing, and when they "give you your space", that means you keep it in your space and don't insist on telling them all about the latest plot twists of Dragon Age II. That usually goes over about as well as a cat dropping a dead bird on your doorstep. Keep your hobbies - but keep them hobbies.
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bork

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Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #63 on: May 24, 2011, 06:14:52 PM »
Now to talk you down off that ledge, at the risk of repeating AA clichés: "one day at a time." You get to know someone before you date them. You date someone casually before you date them seriously. You date someone seriously before you date them long-term. You date someone long-term before you get engaged, married, start a family, etc. etc. Every step is built upon the ones before it, and you shouldn't be worrying about about Stage 8-4 when you can't even beat 1-3 yet. So to speak.

Yes, Bepbo, I take it from this thread you haven't had many relationships or it's been a long, long time...but don't rush into anything.  I have seen people I know do this and the result isn't pretty.  One guy I've known for a long time has been married once or twice and just recently proposed to his FIFTH fiancee after a whopping three months of dating.  Long-distance.

Of course most of the stuff posted in this thread has all been common sense anyway.
« Last Edit: May 24, 2011, 06:18:47 PM by lyte edge »
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Howard Alan Treesong

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Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #64 on: May 24, 2011, 06:17:39 PM »
also, like Prole said, you need real world hobbies as well so your girlfriend, when queried, doesn't have to say "arguing Final Fantasy" or "Dreamcast"

"arguing Dreamcast would have been a success if it had Final Fantasy"
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Van Cruncheon

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Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #65 on: May 24, 2011, 06:20:21 PM »
wife pointed out that trying to initially prove how keeerazy or fun-lovin' or quirky you are smacks of a sell job and thus insecurity.

(yes, you were a Topic of cruncheon family discussion last night :-*)

Trying to prove how super serious, successful and mature you are also reeks of insecurity. Gotta learn to walk a fine line between the two.

hence don't talk about yourself as though you're trying to sell something
duc

Howard Alan Treesong

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Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #66 on: May 24, 2011, 06:20:32 PM »
And remember: if you have to explain why a game or anime isn't creepy, it is creepy.
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Bebpo

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Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #67 on: May 24, 2011, 06:25:18 PM »
I think this thread is getting ahead of itself.

I don't really have a problem with those bigger things.  Or at least I don't know that I have a problem with those things yet.  The only times I've actually met women in person, things have usually gone well and I've never had a girl reject me after a date because any of those things go wrong or turn the girl off.  They tend to think I'm a cool sexy dude with a sense of humor who is kind.

No, the problem I have is that I'm not even getting a 1st or 2nd e-mail out of people these days and so I can't get a face-to-face date to see how things gel.  Back in the day I'd always get a few e-mails or chats in with a girl and usually if we didn't meet it'd be because I'd lose interest and stop replying.  This is the area I need to work on, the very very very early initial meet.

Also about work, I can't meet anyone through there because I work for a family firm with my brother and my dad and our paralegals (married older women) and receptionist (married older woman).  There are other attorneys that we work with sometimes but every attorney in my dad's law building is 60-70 years old.  There is literally no age 20-40 men/woman to go socialize with in my job.

As for joining clubs to meet people.  I probably give in and try going to one or two club events in the local paper and see what's going on.  I need to start doing that for networking purposes for my job anyhow.  What I need to do is join the local democrat party so I can get into politics, but I'll need to search how to even find them and join.
« Last Edit: May 24, 2011, 06:26:56 PM by Bebpo »

bork

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Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #68 on: May 24, 2011, 06:28:11 PM »
Quote
also, like Prole said, you need real world hobbies as well so your girlfriend, when queried, doesn't have to say "arguing Final Fantasy" or "Dreamcast"

Japanese women just come straight out and ask :

1) what is your job
2) where do you live
3) what is your hobby

Yup.   :lol  But Bebpo knows this, I'm sure.

Quote
In my brief spell of singledom this became mechanical when out in bars. Would be introduced to some approaching late 20's (probably actually 40) Japanese woman - i'd rattle off the first two and then the third one was always "writting music, playing futsal". Whilst i wasn't particularly looking for anyone i'm pretty sure "vidyagames" would have nuked any chance with any girl.

In this day and age?  Nah.  Lots of nerdy girls out there, too.  My wife has zero interest in video games, but it was never an issue with us.  When we were dating I kept it as a hobby (as it should be) and never brought that stuff into dates, took her to game centers, or blew off dates to go buy some new release.  If you have a personality, are willing to try new things, and can carry a conversation, none of this shit matters.
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Howard Alan Treesong

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Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #69 on: May 24, 2011, 06:28:40 PM »
you don't want to date career politicians, trust me

if you are just worried about the approach (for now) then as previously mentioned:

1. Lawyer up
2. Vidya down
3. Be yourself, not fun-times Poochie

乱学者

bork

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Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #70 on: May 24, 2011, 06:30:52 PM »
He's gotta keep his hobby under control, yeah, but if he likes video games that much, that is part of being himself.
ど助平

tiesto

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Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #71 on: May 24, 2011, 06:33:00 PM »
Also make sure to remove your Yoko from Guren Laagen bodypillow from your bed when your girlfriend comes over. (this happened to a friend of mine, she complained about the body pillow, but complained even more about the Avril Lavigne posters in his room)

Music I find is a great hobby to talk about. Most girls don't have much of a clue about the genres I listen to, but a ton of chicks ask about my DJing (which I play up on my profile).
^_^

Bebpo

  • Senior Member
Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #72 on: May 24, 2011, 06:34:24 PM »
Dude, I don't even mention games or anime to women until like way down the line when they are comfortable with it and I try to get them to play a game of pinball or watch a Ghibli movie.  My Otakuness isn't the problem!

Quote
also, like Prole said, you need real world hobbies as well so your girlfriend, when queried, doesn't have to say "arguing Final Fantasy" or "Dreamcast"

Japanese women just come straight out and ask :

1) what is your job
2) where do you live
3) what is your hobby

Yup.   :lol  But Bebpo knows this, I'm sure.


Actually I've never been on a date with anyone other than a standard a white caucasian girl.  Not that I have anything against other types of girls, but it's just never happened.  When I was living in Japan the only date I went on was with the white Irish JET in the next town over.  I'm open to date anyone, though.  So I'll see what happens in the future.

Human Snorenado

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Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #73 on: May 24, 2011, 06:35:05 PM »
One more important point:

Any serious relationship means compromise. Some big, some small. You are not going to always get your way. You are going to change and ideally you are going to want that change.

If you look for a relationship thinking that your life is perfect as is and you're "not going to change for anyone!" you are going to die alone. It doesn't matter if your hobby is videogaming or body building.

Girls don't just want you; they want you in a relationship. If you are not willing to commit to anything larger than yourself, women will know and they will not want anything to do with you. They will know.

I really can't emphasize this enough, especially the bolded last part there.  Aside from the lazy, chubby, smartass yet somehow a human avatar of doubt thing I've got going on, the essential reason I'm perpetually single is that I honestly have no interest in compromising myself for anyone.  I'm essentially Stalin in a relationship- I don't give a fuck how many people have to die, I'm getting my way.  Which is why I've kind of stopped looking for a mate.  Either I'll change or I'll die alone, and honestly I'm fine with either.

Yeah, I mean, if you understand that - and accept that - that is totally cool! I have single friends who have decided they are going to go their own way for the rest of their earthbound lives, and that is fine. But Forever Alone on your own terms is very different from Forever Alone and you don't know why.

Now to talk you down off that ledge, at the risk of repeating AA clichés: "one day at a time." You get to know someone before you date them. You date someone casually before you date them seriously. You date someone seriously before you date them long-term. You date someone long-term before you get engaged, married, start a family, etc. etc. Every step is built upon the ones before it, and you shouldn't be worrying about about Stage 8-4 when you can't even beat 1-3 yet. So to speak.

spoiler (click to show/hide)
[close]

One more thing: most sensible girls will allow you your own space and your own hobbies, including (non-creepy) games or anime. It just can't be all encompassing, and when they "give you your space", that means you keep it in your space and don't insist on telling them all about the latest plot twists of Dragon Age II. That usually goes over about as well as a cat dropping a dead bird on your doorstep. Keep your hobbies - but keep them hobbies.

This is all sensible advice.  My problem is that every girl (quite literally EVERY GIRL) I've ever made it into the "6-12 month long serious dating let's learn all about each other" stage has been either been a) batshit insane or more commonly b) had some sort of horrible thing happen in her life that she can't get past that interferes with her ability to be in a relationship thus pretty much dooming us sort of thing.  I won't get into the nitty gritty details because they're not mine to give, but suffice to say I probably excrete some sort of pheremone that screams "girls with serious emotional issues, DATE THIS GUY!!!" and I've sort of callously assumed at this point that all women are, in fact, fucking bonkers and while I enjoy some of the shallower things associated with being in a relationship (sex!small talk!fuck, even cuddling!) connecting on a deeper emotional-mental level with people that appear to be all OMG BATSHIT INSANE or victims of terrible happenstance/predation and unable to cope with it is noooooooot for me.  So I jerk off and have a dog for companionship.
yar

bork

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Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #74 on: May 24, 2011, 06:35:07 PM »
ど助平

Human Snorenado

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Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #75 on: May 24, 2011, 06:38:12 PM »
:lol fucking gaf
yar

chronovore

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Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #76 on: May 24, 2011, 06:39:15 PM »
Quote
edit: unless captain animu is dcharlie, apparently, but he also has some serious hooligan chops.

i may live in Japan and i like the odd Japanese game, but i've no interest in the animu world or the great big land of Desudesudesudesu.

I'm not some chick magnet - i've had long term girlfriends since my midteens and approximately 4 months of being single from 15 until my ripe old ball age of 36 (which is depressing in a certain light, but i don't really care). All of them came from chatting to them and converting from friend to girlfriend. I'm an ugly f*ck, but it doesn't matter when you have wit and charm (which i import via the power of vodka and/or turps)

Mrs C just dropped a bomba on me though:

In her book, if he wants to weed out the wazzaks - he should go in as captain animu. That way you wipe out all the cockroaches looking to spit out a few bulb headed offsprings and sit on the couch living off Bebpowelfare until messy divorce! She approves of Bebpo going in as captain Animu complete with yellow sub.



DC, you're a handsome guy, but your charm is actually in your wit, which you manage to manifest in person as readily as you do in text. It's the wit that's key, I think.

magus

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Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #77 on: May 24, 2011, 07:02:57 PM »
aww it's nice to see you guys all buddie-buddie :heart

<----

Boogie

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Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #78 on: May 24, 2011, 07:09:27 PM »
I think this thread is getting ahead of itself.

I don't really have a problem with those bigger things.  Or at least I don't know that I have a problem with those things yet.  The only times I've actually met women in person, things have usually gone well and I've never had a girl reject me after a date because any of those things go wrong or turn the girl off.  They tend to think I'm a cool sexy dude with a sense of humor who is kind.

No, the problem I have is that I'm not even getting a 1st or 2nd e-mail out of people these days and so I can't get a face-to-face date to see how things gel.  Back in the day I'd always get a few e-mails or chats in with a girl and usually if we didn't meet it'd be because I'd lose interest and stop replying.  This is the area I need to work on, the very very very early initial meet.

Also about work, I can't meet anyone through there because I work for a family firm with my brother and my dad and our paralegals (married older women) and receptionist (married older woman).  There are other attorneys that we work with sometimes but every attorney in my dad's law building is 60-70 years old.  There is literally no age 20-40 men/woman to go socialize with in my job.

As for joining clubs to meet people.  I probably give in and try going to one or two club events in the local paper and see what's going on.  I need to start doing that for networking purposes for my job anyhow.  What I need to do is join the local democrat party so I can get into politics, but I'll need to search how to even find them and join.

Yeah, it's the difficulty of getting your "foot in the door", or the avenues for meeting women, which I think can get tough for some people the farther out from college one gets.  Fewer ways of meeting women when you don't have regular access to easy social situations, and if the environment isn't conducive to meeting people through work or friends.
MMA

bud

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Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #79 on: May 24, 2011, 07:09:40 PM »
the problem with women is... me.

i'm walking down the street and i look at this pretty girl. she smiles at me. now, what do i do? do i smile back? no, i look away and keep walking like nothing just happened. what the fuck. WHAT THE FUCKKKK. when i came back home, i lied on my bed for about twenty thinking about what just happened.

i have so much potential (lol), but i just... :'(
zzz

Vizzys

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Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #80 on: May 24, 2011, 07:15:02 PM »
forever alone
萌え~

chronovore

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Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #81 on: May 24, 2011, 07:26:30 PM »
One more important point:

Any serious relationship means compromise. Some big, some small. You are not going to always get your way. You are going to change and ideally you are going to want that change.

If you look for a relationship thinking that your life is perfect as is and you're "not going to change for anyone!" you are going to die alone. It doesn't matter if your hobby is videogaming or body building.

Girls don't just want you; they want you in a relationship. If you are not willing to commit to anything larger than yourself, women will know and they will not want anything to do with you. They will know.

troof spake

Olivia Wilde Homo

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Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #82 on: May 24, 2011, 07:55:52 PM »
I think Bebpo will get it figured out:

- He's a lawyer: probably the profession with the highest status out there barring professional athlete or doctor
- He's a good looking guy: self explanatory
- He has a good personality

Once he ditches professing his love for Uguu Pantsuu-kun 3 and games of those ilk, I think he will do fine.  If he likes the profession, his personality will adjust to that profession.  I don't know too many successful manchildren in the GAF vein: most professionals will turn into professionals just because of the personality that it requires to be successful.

I'm kind of entering into a precarious position myself.
🍆🍆

cool breeze

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Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #83 on: May 24, 2011, 08:26:05 PM »
Quote
In this day and age?  Nah.  Lots of nerdy girls out there, too.


I never dated a nerdy girl until the wife and i didn't particularly want to - i always dated someone different so that we'd have differing interestes. So i tended to be looking for generally independent women who were interesting.

wait, so dating a nerdy girl turned out to be a good thing? that always seems like a nightmare situation because I understand the nerd mentality and want no part of it (in real life; I'm happy to indulge online).

To be clear, I mean overtly nerdy.  I've visited an anime club before and it was literally hell.  Say I decide to be evil and do unspeakable evils for many years, then die riding a nuclear bomb into the moon, which would somehow end all life on Earth, and heaven and hell turned out to be real--I'd end up in an anime club for an eternity.  Because as much as I come off as a tard fagot nerd here, I rarely if ever talk about this stuff in real life.  But if I ever manage to meet someone who is also ashamed of their video game hobby, I'd be down for that.

Olivia Wilde Homo

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Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #84 on: May 24, 2011, 08:29:29 PM »
I never talk to friends or anyone for that matter actually about video games.  It's one of the main reasons why I still frequent online forums: I can talk about the stupidest, nerdiest shit without getting too much flak for it.  At age 26, if I were to talk about playing a loli RPG on my PSP, I'd probably get cast out of the group.  The older I get, the more secretive I am about gaming.
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cool breeze

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Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #85 on: May 24, 2011, 08:37:12 PM »
haha pretty much.  the rare times I do task about video games, it's extremely broad and uncertain.  "I heard", "I think", "One time I", "When I was younger", etc.  I do have a god hand ringtone for one person on my mobile, though.  Though if anyone recognized it, I'd be ok with them.

to go off something lyte edge said earlier about playing video games being part of 'yourself', I disagree and apply that to any hobby.  A hobby shouldn't define who you are.  Maybe you like that hobby because of other aspects of your personality, but the hobby itself is just something you occasionally do and it isn't worth obsessing over.

It's like that scene in Black Swan (spoiler just in case)
spoiler (click to show/hide)
when Natalie Portman's character is enthusiastically talking about ballet and the guys don't care
[close]
« Last Edit: May 24, 2011, 08:41:27 PM by Linkzg »

tiesto

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Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #86 on: May 24, 2011, 09:02:06 PM »
I have a number of people I can talk about games with, so I don't feel the need to talk about Professor Prole's Panty Patrol 358/2: Neo Duodecium Hyper Wave Fighting, or any games for that matter, with most people. If I run into people talking about Call of Dudebro or some random American game I don't care about, I just act like I don't know anything.

The few Animu club meetings at my college were awkward and weird, but that was before the genre had its big break in the US... so I don't know what they are like now, I imagine they haven't changed too much. I don't mind participating in geek events though, weird people don't creep me out much *shrug*

About that Black Swan scene:
spoiler (click to show/hide)
a girl with Natalie Portman's looks could talk about watching paint dry and horny guys will hang on to her every word...
[close]
« Last Edit: May 24, 2011, 09:05:13 PM by tiesto »
^_^

Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #87 on: May 24, 2011, 09:05:34 PM »
My friends know that I like giant robots and play animu weirdo games, but no one cares. When we hang out, we talk about craft beer, indie rock, our wives, politics, sports and hiking.
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bork

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Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #88 on: May 24, 2011, 09:50:11 PM »


wait, so dating a nerdy girl turned out to be a good thing? that always seems like a nightmare situation because I understand the nerd mentality and want no part of it (in real life; I'm happy to indulge online).

To be clear, I mean overtly nerdy.  I've visited an anime club before and it was literally hell.  Say I decide to be evil and do unspeakable evils for many years, then die riding a nuclear bomb into the moon, which would somehow end all life on Earth, and heaven and hell turned out to be real--I'd end up in an anime club for an eternity.  Because as much as I come off as a tard fagot nerd here, I rarely if ever talk about this stuff in real life.  But if I ever manage to meet someone who is also ashamed of their video game hobby, I'd be down for that.

Well, I'd imagine that you'd want to meet someone as nerdy as yourself...hooking up with someone even nerdier isn't gonna be the best idea.  If you were into those stupid anime clubs, you'd probably think different.  That is, assuming the females there are remotely attractive.   :lol  I'm not one for the animu meet-ups either.  I was scarred for life by that shit when I worked at a game store. 

haha pretty much.  the rare times I do task about video games, it's extremely broad and uncertain.  "I heard", "I think", "One time I", "When I was younger", etc.  I do have a god hand ringtone for one person on my mobile, though.  Though if anyone recognized it, I'd be ok with them.

I only talk about video games with the people I know or meet that are also interested in them.  I don't see what the problem is here. 

Quote
to go off something lyte edge said earlier about playing video games being part of 'yourself', I disagree and apply that to any hobby.  A hobby shouldn't define who you are.  Maybe you like that hobby because of other aspects of your personality, but the hobby itself is just something you occasionally do and it isn't worth obsessing over.

But the keyword is "part."  It's a part of yourself, not everything.  I'm not saying your hobby defines you...I'm saying that it shouldn't be something to ashamed over or hide from others.  If someone looks down on you because you like some fucking video games, they have a problem.

My friends know that I like giant robots and play animu weirdo games, but no one cares. When we hang out, we talk about craft beer, indie rock, our wives, politics, sports and hiking.

Yup.  I don't always hang out with fellow nerds, and I have plenty to talk about.

I don't think video games and anime and whatnot are the problem here.  It's a lack of social skills that is the issue for those "weirdos."
« Last Edit: May 24, 2011, 09:51:42 PM by lyte edge »
ど助平

Cormacaroni

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Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #89 on: May 24, 2011, 09:58:07 PM »
Quote
also, like Prole said, you need real world hobbies as well so your girlfriend, when queried, doesn't have to say "arguing Final Fantasy" or "Dreamcast"

Japanese women just come straight out and ask :

1) what is your job
2) where do you live
3) what is your hobby

and from this they can deduce how much you earn and whether you are a mad axe murderer.

In my brief spell of singledom this became mechanical when out in bars. Would be introduced to some approaching late 20's (probably actually 40) Japanese woman - i'd rattle off the first two and then the third one was always "writting music, playing futsal". Whilst i wasn't particularly looking for anyone i'm pretty sure "vidyagames" would have nuked any chance with any girl.

My disasterous opening gambit with my now wife : "Oh you play games? *rolleyes* let me guess... puzzle bobble and Tetris?"

She reminded me of this today - what a twat i am.


uhhh, 1) is usually 'Do you have a girlfriend'
vjj

Bebpo

  • Senior Member
Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #90 on: May 24, 2011, 10:49:12 PM »
I talk about games irl with one or two friends, but most of my friends are like "videogames...what?" and so we talk about movies, the internet, and other aspects of life.

Anyhow, I'm going to take the advice in this thread to heart and re-write my profile now.  The thing about Okcupid is that under "JOB" it doesn't list lawyer, only "law/legal services" and I don't want to be like I AM AN ATTORNEY FOR A LIVING because that sounds bad.  So I dunno how to drop that somewhere in the profile haha.  Which is why I want to meet girls who I don't need to tell them I'm a lawyer for them to start talking with me :X
« Last Edit: May 24, 2011, 10:51:02 PM by Bebpo »

Cormacaroni

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Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #91 on: May 24, 2011, 10:50:05 PM »
Quote
uhhh, 1) is usually 'Do you have a girlfriend'

oh yeah - i guess it is. Then again, it doesn't really seem to be that important to a lot of people (or at least didn't)


also true
vjj

Van Cruncheon

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Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #92 on: May 24, 2011, 10:58:18 PM »
I never talk to friends or anyone for that matter actually about video games.  It's one of the main reasons why I still frequent online forums: I can talk about the stupidest, nerdiest shit without getting too much flak for it.  At age 26, if I were to talk about playing a loli RPG on my PSP, I'd probably get cast out of the group.  The older I get, the more secretive I am about gaming.

damn straight. i'm here because i daren't talk about this shit save with close supernerd friends -- and geek forums.
duc

cool breeze

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Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #93 on: May 24, 2011, 11:00:00 PM »
Well, I'd imagine that you'd want to meet someone as nerdy as yourself...hooking up with someone even nerdier isn't gonna be the best idea.  If you were into those stupid anime clubs, you'd probably think different.  That is, assuming the females there are remotely attractive.   :lol  I'm not one for the animu meet-ups either.  I was scarred for life by that shit when I worked at a game store. 

I only talk about video games with the people I know or meet that are also interested in them.  I don't see what the problem is here. 

But the keyword is "part."  It's a part of yourself, not everything.  I'm not saying your hobby defines you...I'm saying that it shouldn't be something to ashamed over or hide from others.  If someone looks down on you because you like some fucking video games, they have a problem.

The ashamed part is mostly a joke (mostly); I do post on gaf, after all.  I certainly don't want it to be a first impression, and the times I do talk about it, I definitely water down my knowhow.  I don't consider it to be hiding it because I won't deny that I play video games, but I also won't start go asking "do you play video games?"  I don't remember if I did emphasize that this is in public and mostly with newer people.  Closer friends are aware of my hobbies, but even then I don't go full nerd.  GAF and evilbore are my catharsis for this stuff.  I generally try not to be too personal or serious on forums because they are entertainment.  I'm describing this poorly and it must come off as incredibly shallow or something.

though, I don't deny that I too would look down on someone for their interests.  If my first impression of someone is "Want to go see Eat Pray Love? we can take my Nissan Cube and blast Nickleback," it would take an awful lot to return to neutral.   

Bebpo

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Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #94 on: May 24, 2011, 11:26:37 PM »
The thing about Okcupid is every once in a while you run across a profile that renews your faith in the whole online dating scene.  You run into someone who is a perfect match and you never would have met someone like that without the use of the internet.

...then they never reply and it makes it even worse because you never would have known about them! :( 

double-edged sword; double-edged sword, my friends.


Note, this is not a true story.

spoiler (click to show/hide)
I haven't messaged her yet  :-*
[close]

tiesto

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Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #95 on: May 24, 2011, 11:28:18 PM »
Well, I'd imagine that you'd want to meet someone as nerdy as yourself...hooking up with someone even nerdier isn't gonna be the best idea.  If you were into those stupid anime clubs, you'd probably think different.  That is, assuming the females there are remotely attractive.   :lol  I'm not one for the animu meet-ups either.  I was scarred for life by that shit when I worked at a game store. 

I only talk about video games with the people I know or meet that are also interested in them.  I don't see what the problem is here. 

But the keyword is "part."  It's a part of yourself, not everything.  I'm not saying your hobby defines you...I'm saying that it shouldn't be something to ashamed over or hide from others.  If someone looks down on you because you like some fucking video games, they have a problem.

The ashamed part is mostly a joke (mostly); I do post on gaf, after all.  I certainly don't want it to be a first impression, and the times I do talk about it, I definitely water down my knowhow.  I don't consider it to be hiding it because I won't deny that I play video games, but I also won't start go asking "do you play video games?"  I don't remember if I did emphasize that this is in public and mostly with newer people.  Closer friends are aware of my hobbies, but even then I don't go full nerd.  GAF and evilbore are my catharsis for this stuff.  I generally try not to be too personal or serious on forums because they are entertainment.  I'm describing this poorly and it must come off as incredibly shallow or something.

though, I don't deny that I too would look down on someone for their interests.  If my first impression of someone is "Want to go see Eat Pray Love? we can take my Nissan Cube and blast Nickleback," it would take an awful lot to return to neutral.   

I went on a date or two with a girl with a Nissan Cube before...

...which had a license plate of "HYRULE". She was a huge fan of the Zelda games. Was decent looking but I got serious with my now current g/f so things didn't go anywhere.
^_^

Van Cruncheon

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Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #96 on: May 24, 2011, 11:57:48 PM »
i kinda want a nissan cube :supergay
duc

Trent Dole

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Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #97 on: May 25, 2011, 12:23:57 AM »
Also make sure to remove your Yoko from Guren Laagen bodypillow from your bed when your girlfriend comes over. (this happened to a friend of mine, she complained about the body pillow, but complained even more about the Avril Lavigne posters in his room)

Music I find is a great hobby to talk about. Most girls don't have much of a clue about the genres I listen to, but a ton of chicks ask about my DJing (which I play up on my profile).
I wonder how people can get no lovin' and then I hear stories like this.  :lol :lol :lol
Hi

Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #98 on: May 25, 2011, 12:23:58 AM »
i kinda want a nissan cube :supergay


...

WTF MAN? You used to be cool.
野球

Bebpo

  • Senior Member
Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #99 on: May 25, 2011, 12:54:13 AM »
Alright, re-wrote my profile and pretty happy with it.  What I notice though is if your profile is old it doesn't pop up much when people are just browsing around, so gotta be more active!

brob

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Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #100 on: May 25, 2011, 01:22:31 AM »
I've always thought this "I only talk about games with such and such people" to be a bit odd. I mean, I'm not going to start a conversation with someone about a subject they don't know/care about - shit's absurd. Like, I have about 100GB of eastern European animated shorts on my hdd but why would I ever tell anyone? has nothing to do with shame, it's just not something people would care about, just like I don't give a shit about a particular brand of nail polish taking a particular color out of their line-up (a subject I spent an evening this weekend pretending to listen to). Same about games, football, boxing, skateboarding, etc.

Find a girl with a band t-shirt and talk about music. makes life much easier.

brob

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Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #101 on: May 25, 2011, 02:21:50 AM »
grunge t-shirts are easy. Not as easy as emo pop, but a good second.  :tophat

Bebpo

  • Senior Member
Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #102 on: May 25, 2011, 02:55:08 AM »
* Bebpo about post-Radiohead, post-90s music: "who???"

Like sports, it's not one of my stronger subjects.

Herr Mafflard

  • Senior Member
Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #103 on: May 25, 2011, 05:40:39 AM »
Quote
In the UK you'd always get some ass hat who wanted to run their mouth off. But hey - i've got many strings in my bow. One posser was constantly going on about how i should get a real hobby or take up a "man's activity" :/ He invited me as a joke to make up the numbers in a 5-a-side football game and expected me to be a useless nerd. The hilarity of watch his face drop as i ran riot against their pretty boy yet only mildly skilled arses. I'M IN UR PRESHUSH SPORT RUINING UR INFLATED EGO. OH LOOKIT! TEH BALL IS IN UR NET AGAIN, SORRY. CAREFUL UR BACK WHEN RETRIEVING!

:rofl :bow

i can relate to this, especially during my college years

Mupepe

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Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #104 on: May 25, 2011, 12:49:55 PM »
90% of my friends are into video games or at least tolerate the subject because they have equally nerdy interests.  I never mention it to the other 10% which usually consists of work friends, family friends and friends of friends.

I never used to mention it to women until I got to know them.  Then they were usually surprised about how nerdy I was.  I'll never forget this one time I had a girl over and i decided to play some FF8.  She was laying on my bed and I was playing it in my room.  She looks at me and says "So what are we doing this weekend?"  I look at her and say "baby, you're looking at it."  It didn't last long.

I eventually converted my wife to my ways.  She's way nerdier than she used to be.  And while she might not be into my stuff, she will listen to me and surprisingly pay attention.  I tell her about what's coming out and what systems I like and why I like those systems and blah blah blah.  And she'll absorb it into some small part of her mind for later reference when I bring it up again.  God bless her for it.

tiesto

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Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #105 on: May 25, 2011, 01:29:31 PM »
I never used to mention it to women until I got to know them.  Then they were usually surprised about how nerdy I was.  I'll never forget this one time I had a girl over and i decided to play some FF8.  She was laying on my bed and I was playing it in my room.  She looks at me and says "So what are we doing this weekend?"  I look at her and say "baby, you're looking at it."  It didn't last long.

FF8? Can't say I blame her...  :P

The girls I've shown my 'man cave' to always remark on my NES and they are like "does it work? Yeah? That's soooo kewl!!!!1!11!11". Then we play Mario 1 and have hot steamy sex on the couch.
^_^

Bebpo

  • Senior Member
Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #106 on: May 25, 2011, 01:46:05 PM »
Yeah, I've run into that situation as well.  But more that they find the videogame boring and hot steamy sex sounds more appealing so they transition to that.

Would be cool if they actually enjoyed the gaming.

Mupepe

  • Icon
Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #107 on: May 25, 2011, 01:56:24 PM »
I never used to mention it to women until I got to know them.  Then they were usually surprised about how nerdy I was.  I'll never forget this one time I had a girl over and i decided to play some FF8.  She was laying on my bed and I was playing it in my room.  She looks at me and says "So what are we doing this weekend?"  I look at her and say "baby, you're looking at it."  It didn't last long.

FF8? Can't say I blame her...  :P

The girls I've shown my 'man cave' to always remark on my NES and they are like "does it work? Yeah? That's soooo kewl!!!!1!11!11". Then we play Mario 1 and have hot steamy sex on the couch.

FF8 is the best FF :D

Okay maybe 6 is.

Or XI or Tactics but should we count non numbered FF's and online FF's?

Either way, my man cave has always been my main entertainment room since I've mostly been single and alone.  I never cared enough to try to hide anything from my living room.  I never usually got comments on any of my systems or games, but I did get them on my Bioshock Big Daddy figurine, movies posters and big movie collections.  They'd usually pick a movie out and we'd watch part and then we'd transition to steamy sex.  I've never been able to pull off the game -> sex transition because it's usually me playing the game and I'm too into it  :-[

recursivelyenumerable

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Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #108 on: May 25, 2011, 02:03:49 PM »
I've always thought this "I only talk about games with such and such people" to be a bit odd. I mean, I'm not going to start a conversation with someone about a subject they don't know/care about - shit's absurd. Like, I have about 100GB of eastern European animated shorts on my hdd but why would I ever tell anyone? has nothing to do with shame, it's just not something people would care about, just like I don't give a shit about a particular brand of nail polish taking a particular color out of their line-up (a subject I spent an evening this weekend pretending to listen to). Same about games, football, boxing, skateboarding, etc. 

Yeah, this. I dunno why the rest of you are making things so complicated.
QED

Mupepe

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Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #109 on: May 25, 2011, 02:15:48 PM »
Kinda like this...

Person: So what have you been up to?
Me: Not much.  Hanging out, nothing big.

In reality...

Person: So what have you been up to?
Me: Not much.  Played Red Dead Redemption for about 4 hours Saturday.  Shit was hard.  The military wanted me to escort this train of supplies to the troops, but it had to go through rebel territory.  Shit was hard.  Then a few jobs later, the fucking rebels wanted me to sabotage a train full of supplies and the military was curb stomping my ass hard.  Had to use the gatlin gun.  Then I pretty much made a few hot dogs and marathoned the Harry Potter movies in anticipation of part 2 coming out.  You?

The first is what I say to most people.  The 2nd is what I say to my close friends.

Edit: and to be clear, it's not complicated.  But take a look at GAF and how many of the weirdos would actually say #2 on a first date.  Some people really are that socially inept.

Howard Alan Treesong

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Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #110 on: May 25, 2011, 05:48:28 PM »
hey dcharlie, does your wife play FFXI on the PC or the PS2? lol
乱学者

Olivia Wilde Homo

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Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #111 on: May 25, 2011, 06:31:12 PM »
I've always thought this "I only talk about games with such and such people" to be a bit odd. I mean, I'm not going to start a conversation with someone about a subject they don't know/care about - shit's absurd. Like, I have about 100GB of eastern European animated shorts on my hdd but why would I ever tell anyone? has nothing to do with shame, it's just not something people would care about, just like I don't give a shit about a particular brand of nail polish taking a particular color out of their line-up (a subject I spent an evening this weekend pretending to listen to). Same about games, football, boxing, skateboarding, etc.

Find a girl with a band t-shirt and talk about music. makes life much easier.

The reason is that the majority of people have a low opinion of video games that aren't COD or Farmville, especially if it is a panty bait RPG on a handheld.  Considering that I don't make gaming the center of my life, I don't feel the need to purposefully go against the grain to show my love for cutesy video games when I'm a fully grown adult with a professional career.  I'd like to hope that I can talk to people about dozens of other things before talking about playing video games.  I mean, if it comes up, I can talk about it, yeah, but I don't talk to someone about it first.  Maybe I'm ashamed of my hobby, sure, but I know what is socially acceptable and what isn't.  If I tread the waters of the socially unacceptable, I'd rather weigh out risk vs. return.  Talking about video games to co-workers who enjoy hunting or fishing on their offtime isn't going to win me any favors or hell anything except to get laughed at.  You got to pick your battles.
🍆🍆

brob

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Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #112 on: May 25, 2011, 07:52:08 PM »
My point is more along the lines of why would you want to talk to someone about something they don't care about? at that point you're just talking at them. That's really the thing that I don't get. What kind of conversations are happening to you were you instigate talks of games with people who don't like them?

And besides, people are always gonna judge you for shit beyond your control. I have friends that give me shit for listening to hip hop or pop music, or some of my favorite films being romantic dramas, etc... So I don't get why 'gamers' are so hung up on the issue of being made fun of.
Then again maybe it's more to do with Americans having stronger opinions on nerd stuff. I've never met anyone(girls/co-workers/whatevs) who disapproved of me having a NES system at my old flat, or having an entire shelf dedicated to Andre Franquins' comics and all sorts of other nerdy stuff. I get more shit for my mountain of typography books than my animu.

Howard Alan Treesong

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Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #113 on: May 25, 2011, 08:37:58 PM »
My point is more along the lines of why would you want to talk to someone about something they don't care about? at that point you're just talking at them. That's really the thing that I don't get. What kind of conversations are happening to you were you instigate talks of games with people who don't like them?

And besides, people are always gonna judge you for shit beyond your control. I have friends that give me shit for listening to hip hop or pop music, or some of my favorite films being romantic dramas, etc... So I don't get why 'gamers' are so hung up on the issue of being made fun of.
Then again maybe it's more to do with Americans having stronger opinions on nerd stuff. I've never met anyone(girls/co-workers/whatevs) who disapproved of me having a NES system at my old flat, or having an entire shelf dedicated to Andre Franquins' comics and all sorts of other nerdy stuff. I get more shit for my mountain of typography books than my animu.

Do you have The Elements of Typographic Style? :drool
乱学者

brob

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Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #114 on: May 25, 2011, 08:41:27 PM »
only in pdf form. :c

But at my school we have it, so it's all good  :tophat

recursivelyenumerable

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Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #115 on: May 25, 2011, 09:56:32 PM »
Bringhurst :bow2
QED

Bebpo

  • Senior Member
Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #116 on: May 26, 2011, 01:17:17 AM »
.
/rant
« Last Edit: May 26, 2011, 10:45:40 AM by Bebpo »

Bebpo

  • Senior Member
Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #117 on: May 26, 2011, 01:59:35 AM »
aaaaaand the site crashed while signing up after writing like an hour of profile  >:(

Cormacaroni

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Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #118 on: May 26, 2011, 02:18:21 AM »
Going to otaku cons sounds like a GREAT way to meet women actually. If you like that sort of woman, of course.

In general, that approach makes sense to me. If you want a woman who is into rock music, don't search on OKCupid; go to rock concerts and record stores. If you want a woman who is into fitness and health, go to the gym. Where it all fell down for me is that I met my wife in a bar, and she DOESN'T FUCKING DRINK. AARGH.
vjj

Bebpo

  • Senior Member
Re: The problem with getting old and women
« Reply #119 on: May 26, 2011, 02:56:04 AM »
What I learned tonight is that the few anime dating sites are super ghetto broken, glitchy, hard to do anything, and want to charge you money.

Oh well, there goes that idea.