So I kind of fucked up according to advice here.
After 5 weeks of silence since the whole drama thing I had between ex-best-friend girl and jerkbag guy who was friend until he stabbed me in the back. I went to an event today where girl was (because we have mutual friend circles). I knew she was going to be there and I planned on saying hi and leaving it at that because we'd ended it, I'd moved on with my life (PD or someone said if she ever came back it's something like "Winter is coming but the gates of Winterfell have closed" or something nerdy cool like that).
Well I didn't talk to her at the event and she didn't try to talk to me, but I heard her say something to someone about some random topic while I was nearby (and within an earshot) and she said something like "it's the hardest choice because the one you leave behind is going to hate you forever" and I felt bad and then at the end when she was leaving I asked if she could talk outside for a minute and I told her that I don't hate her and it is what it is.
And she apologized like crazy, said the guy broke up with her because she was "weak" and he couldn't be with a "weak" girl and set goals that she needed to accomplish before he would ever take her back. She said he was everything I told her that he was, crazy, manipulative, sexists, controlling, an asshole. And that she felt so guilty about me. She said her last goodbye text she sent to me where she didn't want to be friends anymore was basically written by him and that he set a rule at the start of their relationship that if she wanted him she was not allowed to ever talk to me or see me. Yeah, that's not an excuse; who says "ok" to that and cuts off their "best" friend because they have the hots for a guy? And that she learned a life lesson and thought the price was losing her best friend and that she had destroyed and napalmed our bridges to death and she was in a bad place.
Now I have a weak spot for girls, especially people I care about, being like that and I couldn't just keep a straight face and give her that Winterfell line. So I consoled her and said it's ok, that we all said a lot of things we didn't mean towards the end and that people make mistakes. That our friendship isn't napalmed to death, but just broken and damaged and we can repair it over time. That if she's in trouble I'm still there for her, but I'm not getting involved in any of her relationship drama because I can't deal with that again. She said she wouldn't want or expect me to get involved because she hurt me so much last time and she is going to get strong and independent on her own two feet over the next few weeks. And I said that's great and totally what she should do. And she had to run and I told her she could still text me if she wanted and it'll be ok. And she texted me later saying that she really appreciated everything.
So yeah, I'm still just human and I can't cut her off. I'm going to keep some distance and just BE FRIENDS with her again very, very slowly and I have zero romantic inclinings now or in the future with her. I can't afford to get invested with her because she'll just cut me off and hurt me again in the future unfortunately.
And I brought up the whole thing about how the rumors being spread against me were the one thing that really hurt me and according to her (and I believe her on this) she told it to the dickbag guy confidentially and not in a bad way and that he promised her that he wasn't saying anything bad about me to other people (when in actuality he was twisting things around and telling everyone to try to steal friends from me and make me seem like a bad person). She was shocked that any of this had happened and said she had no idea. Unfortunately I believe her, she can be really naive and if the guy said he wasn't doing it, she'd believe him.
Ok, now it's time for everyone to laugh at me and my human weakness for girls in trouble that I care about.
