Things I hate about internet people

[recursivelyenumerable]

Hate: When people think they know something about / have some insight into / have some contribution to make on some topic but they fucking don't! aka 99.9% of blog/forum posts and comments

[drew]

thought better of this

[Himu]

Thing is, if it's the person I'm following tweeting dumb shit, it doesn't bug me as much.  It's the retweeting.  Just because I want to follow what you're talking about, doesn't mean I want to follow the people you're following, y'know?

Another twitter thing that bugs me is people who are doing obvious mugging for their followers.  Who the fuck do you think you are, Johnny Carson or something?

This is because of me retweeting pd's tweet about not seeing that movie aint it

[Himu]

Sleeping on subway train = starving artist. Makes sense.

[Robo]

I hate twitter because I don't have a smartphone.   :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(

[CajoleJuice]

Sleeping on subway train = starving artist. Makes sense.

[pilonv1]

I mainly tweet about basketball or what game I'm playing. Some of it is usually terrible, so there's a warning before following me!

[Huff]

Got to agree the retweeting aspects of twitter are usually used in a way that pisses me off

[DCharlieJP]

Mugging for followers refers to people who act like they're a talk show host in front of a live audience.  They directly address their audience (hey followers!, etc) and generally act like they're putting on a fake personality for show.

ah right - got you.

It's all a bit weird for sure - as is the "HUZZAH! <number> of followers!" - perhaps it really is just one big popularity contest?

RTs i don't mind if it's something interesting i might have missed. The big one that just baffles me is people RT'ing when other tweeters give them a pat on the back or agree with them. That can actually cascade into an infinite RT RT RT RT RT RT RT RT RT RT RT ... mutual jack off.

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

Yeah a big problem for people is that they don't realize that the internet is a very public place and a very small place as well.  I think the Library of Congress saves and archives every twat that gets sent out.  Any forum post is likely archived on a web archive service.  Every self shot of yourself in the buff never really goes away.  Most people really don't think a lot of stuff through (I'm very guilty of that) but it almost seems you need a mandatory class in the 5th or 6th grade about the basics of the Internet.  The golden rule of the internet should be "assume that everything you put out there is public information."  Maybe people will make smarter decisions.  Probably not but at least you're educating them and making an attempt.

[DCharlieJP]

yeah, the idea that certain forums aren't real or of consequence (gaming forums mainly) is about right as long as you don't go completely ape.

But Facebook where you attach your deep inner most thoughts to your real life name and personality? Yeah - it's not the same.

[Momo]

Thing is, if it's the person I'm following tweeting dumb shit, it doesn't bug me as much.  It's the retweeting.  Just because I want to follow what you're talking about, doesn't mean I want to follow the people you're following, y'know?

Another twitter thing that bugs me is people who are doing obvious mugging for their followers.  Who the fuck do you think you are, Johnny Carson or something?

I've unfollowed quite a few people I actually like because they retweet cretinous pondscum subhumans. I wish there was a block retweet function

[pilonv1]

Thing is, if it's the person I'm following tweeting dumb shit, it doesn't bug me as much.  It's the retweeting.  Just because I want to follow what you're talking about, doesn't mean I want to follow the people you're following, y'know?

Another twitter thing that bugs me is people who are doing obvious mugging for their followers.  Who the fuck do you think you are, Johnny Carson or something?

I've unfollowed quite a few people I actually like because they retweet cretinous pondscum subhumans. I wish there was a block retweet function

Pretty sure some of the mobile apps do that. They at least let you filter out by hashtags and stuff

[Tasty]

Mugging for followers refers to people who act like they're a talk show host in front of a live audience.  They directly address their audience (hey followers!, etc) and generally act like they're putting on a fake personality for show.

Blech.

Also sorry to my followers for the inordinate amount of web dev stuff I retweet.

[Brehvolution]

Mugging for followers refers to people who act like they're a talk show host in front of a live audience.  They directly address their audience (hey followers!, etc) and generally act like they're putting on a fake personality for show.

Sounds like elpresador to a T.

[Eel O'Brian]

If you're of a certain age you will see the following quite a bit:

"Besties"

"Yeppers"

"Yummo"

 

[Eel O'Brian]

I don't understand Twitter.  It really makes me feel like a bewildered old man, like when my mom asked me if I ebayed my brother and I said "you mean email," and she said "ebay, email, whatever, you know what I mean." I'm going to have to learn how to use Twitter to sell my stuff pretty soon, and I dread it.

[Brehvolution]

I don't know if twitter is the best way to sell stuff. The only people who see your tweets are your followers.

 The quickest way to get followers is to post a comment on an article at mediatakeout.com with your twitter handle.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

j/k don't do that

[close]

[Barry Egan]

I'm going to have to learn how to use Twitter to sell my stuff pretty soon, and I dread it.

You mean ebay

[Eel O'Brian]

ebay, twitter, whatever, you know what i mean

[MrAngryFace]

I get how twitter works for other people, but I still haven't figured out how it works for me. I already throw my stupid thoughts into the void via facebook and if that makes people mad WHY U ON MY FRIENDS LIST BIIITCHEEZZ?!

[Yeti]

Twitter is a million times better than facebook because the posts are in chronological order.

[MrAngryFace]

you're acting like there's a pattern to my nonsense to begin with

[Cerveza mas fina]

I don't understand Twitter.  It really makes me feel like a bewildered old man, like when my mom asked me if I ebayed my brother and I said "you mean email," and she said "ebay, email, whatever, you know what I mean." I'm going to have to learn how to use Twitter to sell my stuff pretty soon, and I dread it.

I got a twitter account recently just to understand it basicly.

Im following cool people like Wrath, DCharlie, Wario...

I forget to look at it though, but Im learning how it works.

[bork]

I made a Twitter account a few months ago.  I dunno...I just don't use it.  Too much stuff to wade through.

[bork]

I get how twitter works for other people, but I still haven't figured out how it works for me. I already throw my stupid thoughts into the void via facebook and if that makes people mad WHY U ON MY FRIENDS LIST BIIITCHEEZZ?!

MAF never added me on Facebook.   :'(

[Reb]

- FB people sharing obviously fake stories

[Yeti]

My facebook friends list also got way too bloated. Got sick of all the blunt cards being posted, and the "like this picture of a deformed child or you're a horrible person" typese of posts. But really I just use twitter mostly as a news aggregator.

[pickle]

I don't understand Twitter.  It really makes me feel like a bewildered old man, like when my mom asked me if I ebayed my brother and I said "you mean email," and she said "ebay, email, whatever, you know what I mean." I'm going to have to learn how to use Twitter to sell my stuff pretty soon, and I dread it.

You don't want to know how much that made me laugh. We're talking about dribbling saliva, the works.

[bork]

My facebook friends list also got way too bloated. Got sick of all the blunt cards being posted, and the "like this picture of a deformed child or you're a horrible person" typese of posts. But really I just use twitter mostly as a news aggregator.

I would like to drop some people from my FB friends list-- in this case, not people I have never met in real life and know from boards or wherever, but people I knew in high school that I am not friends with now.  We have absolutely nothing in common and seeing their posts is more of an annoyance than anything else.  I don't care about the Phish concert you went to and your 4983 photos of it, sorry.  And yet for some reason I feel bad for wanting to do so after they sent me requests.   

Ditto for some relatives.

[headwalk]

Internet people aren't real people, neither is the contents of their posts particularly a reflection of how they are in reality - at least on hobbyist message boards.

It's the internet - it sucks, either you switch off and let it all wash over you, or fight however you eventually either become another annoying cog, or you throw your arms up and (try to) leave.

I've tried the "ah just let it all slide" angle and it simply doesn't work. So all that is left is to crawl back to pre-internet times where free time was gaming time and not "faffing about in the internets"

the people are george lucas.

previously, we were thrust in to society to find definitions of ourselves, thrown in to a hornets nest of different personalities buffering against each other, personalities who'd see you in all colours and at all tides. these people kept you in check.

nowadays, personalities are constructs. the written communicate has made everyone of us a lead character in our own shitty movie over which we have total directional, scriptwriting and production control. we churn up influences and leverage the weight of our own myopia to convince ourselves that we have every bit of the suave conviction of don draper, the narrow eyed presence of the man with no name, the wry cavalier confidence of han solo.

we are the phantom menace.

[Tasty]

Internet people aren't real people, neither is the contents of their posts particularly a reflection of how they are in reality - at least on hobbyist message boards.

It's the internet - it sucks, either you switch off and let it all wash over you, or fight however you eventually either become another annoying cog, or you throw your arms up and (try to) leave.

I've tried the "ah just let it all slide" angle and it simply doesn't work. So all that is left is to crawl back to pre-internet times where free time was gaming time and not "faffing about in the internets"

the people are george lucas.

previously, we were thrust in to society to find definitions of ourselves, thrown in to a hornets nest of different personalities buffering against each other, personalities who'd see you in all colours and at all tides. these people kept you in check.

nowadays, personalities are constructs. the written communicate has made everyone of us a lead character in our own shitty movie over which we have total directional, scriptwriting and production control. we churn up influences and leverage the weight of our own myopia to convince ourselves that we have every bit of the suave conviction of don draper, the narrow eyed presence of the man with no name, the wry cavalier confidence of han solo.

we are the phantom menace.

[Eel O'Brian]

I don't understand Twitter.  It really makes me feel like a bewildered old man, like when my mom asked me if I ebayed my brother and I said "you mean email," and she said "ebay, email, whatever, you know what I mean." I'm going to have to learn how to use Twitter to sell my stuff pretty soon, and I dread it.

You don't want to know how much that made me laugh. We're talking about dribbling saliva, the works.

I don't know if the facebook/twitter tactic still works, but regardless of quality, these two:

http://www.amazon.com/John-Locke/e/B003ATT1YO/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_1

http://www.amazon.com/Amanda-Hocking/e/B003H4L762/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_1

http://www.csmonitor.com/Books/chapter-and-verse/2011/0621/Amanda-Hocking-John-Locke-poster-children-for-self-publishing-success

sold a fuckload (like, each of them sold a million +) of ebooks using facebook and twitter

i'd be overjoyed to sell 1/100th of that

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

I'm telling you Eel, get into the erotica genre.  So many success stories on Something Awful where several people there make thousands of dollars a month writing disposable erotica for a couple bucks a pop.

[headwalk]

I don't understand Twitter.  It really makes me feel like a bewildered old man, like when my mom asked me if I ebayed my brother and I said "you mean email," and she said "ebay, email, whatever, you know what I mean." I'm going to have to learn how to use Twitter to sell my stuff pretty soon, and I dread it.

You don't want to know how much that made me laugh. We're talking about dribbling saliva, the works.

I don't know if the facebook/twitter tactic still works, but regardless of quality, these two:

http://www.amazon.com/John-Locke/e/B003ATT1YO/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_1

i preferred his earlier work. surprised he's still around.

[Eel O'Brian]

if i'm getting that right

[Eel O'Brian]

I'm telling you Eel, get into the erotica genre.  So many success stories on Something Awful where several people there make thousands of dollars a month writing disposable erotica for a couple bucks a pop.

i don't really think i can pull it off, but do you have a link to that thread

[demi]

I would immediately buy some porn from you, Eel. I want to know what mechanically cold sex you can come up with.

[Eel O'Brian]

i don't think i could do it, i tried it years ago with penthouse letters (they paid $50 per letter) and could never finish anything i started without it slowly turning into a parody

[CajoleJuice]

Biz

[Yeti]

Unsubscribing friends from facebook creates real world drama, fuck that. It's bad enough dealing with it in the digital realm. Much safer to just ignore the whole thing.

[Joe Molotov]

I'm telling you Eel, get into the erotica genre.  So many success stories on Something Awful where several people there make thousands of dollars a month writing disposable erotica for a couple bucks a pop.

I saw an anthology called Cthulhurotica on Amazon, and I'd like to get into something like that, but I feel like it would be a bit too niche. I bet Steampunkrotica would make mad bank, though.

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

I'm telling you Eel, get into the erotica genre.  So many success stories on Something Awful where several people there make thousands of dollars a month writing disposable erotica for a couple bucks a pop.

i don't really think i can pull it off, but do you have a link to that thread

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3503700

You may need a subscription but here it is.

[Positive Touch]

with facebook it takes two clicks to hide someones posts from your feed so you can avoid them without unfriending them

with twitter you can easily search for and join in to a conversation on every fucking topic with millions of different people

fuck how can a bunch of internet nerds be so bad at social networking on the internet

OH WAIT

[pilonv1]

twitter is my real time newsfeed + some cool peeps whose thoughts I like reading. nothing more

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

You all need to read between the lines when people are bitching about Facebook and Twitter.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

It's a stealth brag that they have friends on a social networking site.  This is insignificant to most of society but to nerds, having friends in general, even if they're online, is a pretty big deal.  It's kind of like saying "My girlfriend keeps choking on my extremely huge cock!"

See also: Posts here on The Bore that say, "On Prole's Facebook, I saw this..." notice the exclusionary tone about a fucking Facebook account.  Nerds will always have weird hangups about friends.  It's unfortunate that the adverse effects of high school still impact grown adults 10-20 years after the fact 

[close]

[Tasty]

with facebook it takes two clicks to hide someones posts from your feed so you can avoid them without unfriending them

with twitter you can easily search for and join in to a conversation on every fucking topic with millions of different people

fuck how can a bunch of internet nerds be so bad at social networking on the internet

OH WAIT

 

[Eel O'Brian]

i get all that, and know all about unsubscribing and hiding posts and all that shit on facebook (which i don't normally do unless there's an election or something because, well, i like to be exposed to different - even stupid - opinions about things)

i just don't understand the mechanics of twitter, what's acceptable or not, how to gain followers, how not to just turn it into pure shilling, etc.

[Van Cruncheon]

what about my facebook

[Eel O'Brian]

I am kind of the opposite, in that I used to have no tolerance for that kind of thing but find it pretty useful now

stupid motherfuckers make awesome characters

[Tasty]

@Oscar

For Twitter, lists + TweetDeck is the way to go.

[Van Cruncheon]

hm, let it slide works for me. i'm good at choosing my battles, which is why i have such an enormous internet cock*

spoiler (click to show/hide)

it's not that it's actually that big, rather i just find the smallest holes to poke

[close]

[Tasty]

@Oscar

For Twitter, lists + TweetDeck is the way to go.

Somehow, I doubt they'll be sufficient.

[recursivelyenumerable]

You all need to read between the lines when people are bitching about Facebook and Twitter.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

It's a stealth brag that they have friends on a social networking site.  This is insignificant to most of society but to nerds, having friends in general, even if they're online, is a pretty big deal.  It's kind of like saying "My girlfriend keeps choking on my extremely huge cock!"

See also: Posts here on The Bore that say, "On Prole's Facebook, I saw this..." notice the exclusionary tone about a fucking Facebook account.  Nerds will always have weird hangups about friends.  It's unfortunate that the adverse effects of high school still impact grown adults 10-20 years after the fact 

[close]

uh, complaining about facebook is a pretty ecumenical pastime afaict

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

You all need to read between the lines when people are bitching about Facebook and Twitter.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

It's a stealth brag that they have friends on a social networking site.  This is insignificant to most of society but to nerds, having friends in general, even if they're online, is a pretty big deal.  It's kind of like saying "My girlfriend keeps choking on my extremely huge cock!"

See also: Posts here on The Bore that say, "On Prole's Facebook, I saw this..." notice the exclusionary tone about a fucking Facebook account.  Nerds will always have weird hangups about friends.  It's unfortunate that the adverse effects of high school still impact grown adults 10-20 years after the fact 

[close]

uh, complaining about facebook is a pretty ecumenical pastime afaict

So is bitching about people bitching about Facebook.

[DCharlieJP]

with facebook it takes two clicks to hide someones posts from your feed so you can avoid them without unfriending them

with twitter you can easily search for and join in to a conversation on every fucking topic with millions of different people

fuck how can a bunch of internet nerds be so bad at social networking on the internet

OH WAIT

That's not what I'm saying - Facebook is people you'd normally like blurting out just how they feel about gays/blacks/Asians etc - in a per-Facebook life these thoughts would have remained tucked away - no amount of post ignoring is going to change that I now know certain friends hold certain views that I had noooooo clue about

[Positive Touch]

yeah, i'm with you on that. there have been a few people i've just had to say "fuck it - defriended" because some out-of-nowhere comment they made hit me so hard that i knew i'd never want to be in their presence again.

[Van Cruncheon]

i usually LIKE seeing the "true" side of some folks come out, at least in a context as protected as facebook, as opposed to, say, a family gathering or a reunion or whatever. however, my tolerance does have limits: if you preach any sort of racist or misogynist hate, or homophobia: BYE BYE

[Beezy]

I hate when being expected to know every game, movie, tv show, book, etc. abbreviation that you guys use. Unless its insanely popular and common to regular folk, please use the full name at least once plz.

[Inspector Thatcher]

Social media being what it is, one's pages are the "Public Relations" versions of you, and if not, then be damned if you ever apply for a job in a field that requires any sense of social or political acuity.  Privacy settings?  We all know there are ways around that.

People who post racist, sexist, ...-ist (etc) and needlessly inflammatory material need only wait for the karma train to come 'round again.