Author Topic: Tomorrow, I commit butthole suicide (Read 11435 times)

this old indian restaurant asked me if i wanted my food "indian spicy" and of course i said hell yeah. i swear to god they just ground up a ghost pepper and covered my food in it because holy fuck i never tasted anything even CLOSE to how hot this was in my life, and i love hot food. i could feel my insides peeling from my mouth to my ass as i ate it. it was so hot that i breathed in my cats face and its eyes actually bulged out and it ran out of the room. i ate the whole meal still because i am fucking stupid, and i spent the rest of the night on the toilet and ended up being a half hour late to work because i went right back to the toilet as soon as i woke up.

so like i said before, have fun dude.

Quote from: Eel O'Brian on July 22, 2013, 09:49:22 PM

This is a bad idea and no one will think less of you if you back out.

Unless he claims to have done it, and actually hasn't. There's "backing out," and "playing a victory march while secretly backing out."

Himu · « **Reply #67 on:** July 24, 2013, 02:01:29 AM »

disturbing lack of updates on your bowel movements

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #68 on:** July 24, 2013, 02:06:41 AM »

Quote from: Formerly Known As Himuro on July 24, 2013, 02:01:29 AM

disturbing lack of updates on your bowel movements

Himu · « **Reply #69 on:** July 24, 2013, 02:09:19 AM »

Yeti · « **Reply #70 on:** July 24, 2013, 02:48:49 AM »

He's currently agonizing on a toilet, in too much pain to update us from his smartphone.

drew · « **Reply #71 on:** July 24, 2013, 02:54:38 AM »

eating hot stuff has never translated to my butt or heartburn

Cerveza mas fina · « **Reply #72 on:** July 24, 2013, 06:02:47 AM »

Word

Someone is getting a Brandnew asshole soon

Himu · « **Reply #73 on:** July 24, 2013, 03:22:55 PM »

Quote from: Formerly Known As Himuro on July 24, 2013, 02:01:29 AM

disturbing lack of updates on your bowel movements

.

StealthFan · « **Reply #74 on:** July 24, 2013, 03:30:33 PM »

I got roids and this thread is gross. No way would I eat something that hot and aggravate what I already got.

nudemacusers · « **Reply #75 on:** July 24, 2013, 03:42:53 PM »

Quote from: Oscar the Grouch on July 24, 2013, 03:30:50 AM

Quote from: drew on July 24, 2013, 02:54:38 AM
eating hot stuff has never translated to my butt or heartburn

then you've never eaten anything sufficiently hot.

Yeah, most spicy stuff doesn't do anything to me, but I once had a grotesquely hot curry on vacation and my ass literally burned the next day.

helios · « **Reply #76 on:** July 24, 2013, 04:06:38 PM »

He's probably been on the toilet shooting out spicy diarrhea from his ass like a spaceship.

fistfulofmetal · « **Reply #77 on:** July 24, 2013, 04:13:13 PM »

Quote from: helios on July 24, 2013, 04:06:38 PM

He's probably been on the toilet shooting out spicy diarrhea from his ass like a spaceship.

i was actually close to making a joke about him being in orbit around the earth right now because he launched off the toilet like a rocket. but i didn't

but then again i guess i just did.

Himu · « **Reply #78 on:** July 24, 2013, 04:21:21 PM »

No video, no toilet results.

lock this thread, leper brand new, throw away the key.

Positive Touch · « **Reply #79 on:** July 24, 2013, 04:25:06 PM »

safe to assume he died at this point

Himu · « **Reply #80 on:** July 24, 2013, 04:27:14 PM »

Quote from: Positive Touch on July 24, 2013, 04:25:06 PM

safe to assume he died at this point

No, he has posted since yesterday.

Positive Touch · « **Reply #81 on:** July 24, 2013, 04:32:17 PM »

Quote from: Formerly Known As Himuro on July 24, 2013, 04:27:14 PM

Quote from: Positive Touch on July 24, 2013, 04:25:06 PM
safe to assume he died at this point

No, he has posted since yesterday.

the worst of it comes a few hours after you eat it

Himu · « **Reply #82 on:** July 24, 2013, 04:33:04 PM »

He posted today, dude.

Positive Touch · « **Reply #83 on:** July 24, 2013, 04:39:43 PM »

Himu · « **Reply #84 on:** July 24, 2013, 04:40:09 PM »

WHERE'S MY TOILET REVIEW, BRAND NEW

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #85 on:** July 24, 2013, 04:40:48 PM »

Brandnew didn't eat shit, fake thread, ban Willco.

TakingBackSunday · « **Reply #86 on:** July 24, 2013, 04:56:41 PM »

my ass

jesus christ

I'm at work and just spent a good half hour in the bathroom. It feels like a hot curling iron has been shoved up my anus

MCD · « **Reply #87 on:** July 24, 2013, 04:57:37 PM »

Pics of your anus or it didn't happen

Himu · « **Reply #88 on:** July 24, 2013, 04:57:46 PM »

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #89 on:** July 24, 2013, 05:01:44 PM »

get one of those butt thermostats and post your temperature.

nudemacusers · « **Reply #90 on:** July 24, 2013, 05:05:45 PM »

Quote from: BrandNew on July 24, 2013, 04:56:41 PM

my ass

jesus christ

I'm at work and just spent a good half hour in the bathroom. It feels like a hot curling iron has been shoved up my anus

you realize your ass will collapse into a brown dwarf after this, right?

TakingBackSunday · « **Reply #91 on:** July 24, 2013, 05:07:22 PM »

Quote from: Eschaton on July 24, 2013, 05:04:15 PM

Describe the consistency of the poop, pls.

Hot snakes

nudemacusers · « **Reply #92 on:** July 24, 2013, 05:08:35 PM »

Quote from: BrandNew on July 24, 2013, 05:07:22 PM

Quote from: Eschaton on July 24, 2013, 05:04:15 PM
Describe the consistency of the poop, pls.

Hot snakes

do they smell like ghost chili?

TakingBackSunday · « **Reply #93 on:** July 24, 2013, 05:15:57 PM »

this morning.

You have no idea how much I want to invest in a bidet right now

Steve Contra · « **Reply #94 on:** July 24, 2013, 05:24:55 PM »

I told you it wasn't worth it

demi · « **Reply #95 on:** July 24, 2013, 05:35:01 PM »

Cerveza mas fina · « **Reply #96 on:** July 24, 2013, 05:37:17 PM »

Im with Demi

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #97 on:** July 24, 2013, 06:02:00 PM »

Probably just a thread so that he can openly talk about having hot snakes up his butt.

TakingBackSunday · « **Reply #98 on:** July 24, 2013, 06:34:05 PM »

goddamit guys I don't have the video, a coworker does. I'll have him email it to me

Steve Contra · « **Reply #99 on:** July 24, 2013, 06:37:25 PM »

Why not just stick a soldering iron in your ass? Same result, but no one would have to hear about it for a whole day.

helios · « **Reply #100 on:** July 24, 2013, 07:05:47 PM »

Quote from: BrandNew on July 24, 2013, 05:15:57 PM

this morning.

You have no idea how much I want to invest in a bidet right now

chronovore · « **Reply #101 on:** July 24, 2013, 09:06:09 PM »

Quote from: demi on July 24, 2013, 05:35:01 PM

Fake

Quote from: Premium Lager on July 24, 2013, 05:37:17 PM

Im with Demi

spoiler (click to show/hide)

[close]

demi · « **Reply #102 on:** July 25, 2013, 12:08:29 PM »

Still no video OR photos, btw.

F A K E

nudemacusers · « **Reply #103 on:** July 25, 2013, 01:19:11 PM »

For shame OP, butthole suicide is not something to joke about.

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #104 on:** July 25, 2013, 02:27:48 PM »

She was butthole murdered.

fistfulofmetal · « **Reply #105 on:** July 25, 2013, 02:32:57 PM »

I say if he doesnt produce the video by the end of today Joe should rename him "butthole suicide"

Quote from: Joe Molotov on July 25, 2013, 02:27:48 PM

She was butthole murdered.

murdered in the butthole realm?

Steve Contra · « **Reply #106 on:** July 25, 2013, 03:34:30 PM »

Agrred, if we don't get confirmation of this.

Huff · « **Reply #107 on:** July 25, 2013, 04:02:35 PM »

Quote from: AWESOM-O on July 25, 2013, 03:22:04 PM

Quote from: Eschaton on July 25, 2013, 02:46:29 PM
BrandNewButthole

Demi or Joe, please change his name to this.

Change his name regardless

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #108 on:** July 25, 2013, 04:13:13 PM »

I say we give him until the end of the week to provide videographic evidence of his ravaged anus or be murdered in the butthole realm. Or something.

Steve Contra · « **Reply #109 on:** July 25, 2013, 04:24:32 PM »

I say no matter what we make sure BrandNew has no butthole by Friday night

demi · « **Reply #110 on:** July 26, 2013, 12:03:59 PM »

Day 3

No proof

MCD · « **Reply #111 on:** July 26, 2013, 01:27:54 PM »

Quote from: AWESOM-O on July 26, 2013, 12:30:00 PM

The name change has to happen soon, right?

I will personally donate to that.

Mark my words.

Eel O'Brian · « **Reply #112 on:** July 26, 2013, 01:30:05 PM »

Quote from: demi on July 26, 2013, 12:03:59 PM

Diarrheagate Day 3

No proof

fixed

Shaka Khan · « **Reply #113 on:** July 26, 2013, 04:54:42 PM »

Quote from: Eschaton on July 26, 2013, 12:17:44 PM

(Image removed from quote.)

hampster · « **Reply #114 on:** July 26, 2013, 06:36:05 PM »

The work week is over

BrandNew can't seriously expect us to wait until he sees his coworker again on monday for us to see his butthole :'(

TakingBackSunday · « **Reply #115 on:** July 26, 2013, 07:36:19 PM »

fuck you guys

TakingBackSunday · « **Reply #116 on:** July 26, 2013, 07:44:40 PM »

I wasn't the one taking the video!

I told her to keep filming but she didn't

Himu · « **Reply #117 on:** July 26, 2013, 07:46:41 PM »

I think I saw BrandNew's constipation face.

So it delivers.

Put knives down.

Himu · « **Reply #118 on:** July 26, 2013, 07:47:23 PM »

Your voice is sexy. Send me nudes. Now.

Verdigris Murder · « **Reply #119 on:** July 26, 2013, 07:55:27 PM »

Quote from: BrandNew on July 26, 2013, 07:44:40 PM

I wasn't the one taking the video!

I told her to keep filming but she didn't

The girl. She could use her voice to ungay members of this place. Cheeseman and Phoenix for starters.

News:

Author Topic: Tomorrow, I commit butthole suicide (Read 11435 times)