Your longest fart

[Eel O'Brian]

20 seconds

I wish I'd recorded it

[nudemacusers]

well it certainly isn't that long

[Eel O'Brian]

It was like letting the air out of a balloon, odorless and satisfying

Never ending pasta bowl

[Eli Gulgin]

 

[Human Snorenado]

It was like letting the air out of a balloon, odorless and satisfying

Never ending pasta bowl

I guess something nice happened to you and you went to Olive Garden?

On topic... probably at least 10 seconds, maybe more like 15. 

Now, a truly classy question- longest intact turd you've dropped?  Had one that was easily over a foot a couple months ago.

[king of the internet]

Where do we draw the line between an extended, sputtering fart vs. mutiple farts in succession?

[Joe Molotov]

Where do we draw the line between an extended, sputtering fart vs. mutiple farts in succession?

This an important distintion that needs to be addressed.

[Rufus]

Indeed. A single fart that long is probably world record material. 

[Phoenix Dark]

About 20 seconds. I felt like I lost a pound.

[davepoobond]

are you guys letting it all out as fast as possible or are you trying to drag it out?


cause i've had some very loud 5 to 10 second eruptive farts that i could have spread out.

[Eel O'Brian]

it was a thin stream of air, mostly silent

[Eel O'Brian]

I don't like fart jokes on TV or in movies, but farts irl are always funny

[tiesto]

If I'm in the midst of a dump and I have to fart it can take 10-15 secs easily as it tries to squeak past the turd...

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

About 15 seconds.  I was in a long meeting and felt the tight pains of gas building up to my asshole over the next two hours.  A break was just a few minutes away but I could hardly hold it.  I felt like I was going to shit my pants, the buildup was just that intense.  Then I felt my asshole starting to give so I pretended I had a call (by having it on silent) and ran out of the room and down to the restroom which fortunately was close by.  Then once I went inside the restroom, I let out a long fart (that was dry thankfully) that was loud but no smell.  The pain and relief I felt was glorious.  I didn't make it to the stall but fuck it, I couldn't take it anymore.

Whoever decided to have a long meeting and fails to schedule a break every 90 minutes needs to be shot.  Fuck you assholes.

[headwalk]

take a deep breath before you die and you'll top that, no problem.

[Human Snorenado]

I don't like fart jokes on TV or in movies, but farts irl are always funny

I generally don't either, with two exceptions-

1) There was a character in Orgazmo who would fart in his hand and then throw it in people's faces.  For some reason, this was/is hilarious to me.

2) In the second season of Louis (I wanna say it was the first episode) his sister was in town staying with him and she was pregnant.  She woke up in the middle of the night having terrible stomach pains and he had to deal with getting her to the hospital and finding someone to watch his kids while they were gone.  Once they got to the hospital, she farted for like half a minute and then was better.  It was just the fact that the entire episode was a really elaborate, drawn out fart joke that got me.

[Shadow Mod]

Pregnancy gas. I wonder if Lenned has some stories.

[Phoenix Dark]

I don't like fart jokes on TV or in movies, but farts irl are always funny

If you can't smell it, it ain't shit

[nudemacusers]

Pregnancy gas. I wonder if Lenned has some stories.

I really haven't noticed any aberration in sound or duration.

[Joe Molotov]

Pregnancy gas. I wonder if Lenned has some stories.

I really haven't noticed any aberration in sound or duration.

How far along are you?

[nudemacusers]

Pregnancy gas. I wonder if Lenned has some stories.

I really haven't noticed any aberration in sound or duration.

How far along are you?

20 weeks

[Shadow Mod]

Pregnancy gas. I wonder if Lenned has some stories.

I really haven't noticed any aberration in sound or duration.

Some women don't really have it but I've heard how some feel ridiculous pressure.