Which bore member would be the first and the last to die in a zombie apocalypse?

[Eschaton]

Fuck a poll. Detailed analyses please. Assume Walking Dead esque zombies.

[Flannel Boy]

 I'd commit seppuku if I thought a female zombie was ignoring me.

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

The first to die would likely be an effete icon.  So it would be a toss up between Patel and Cohen.

The last to die would be someone who never leaves the house and lives in a remote area, so my guess is Great Rumbler.

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

Malek would be towards the end.  I don't even think zombies want to be near Winnipeg.

[Flannel Boy]

Back in TO.

[Great Rumbler]

The last to die would be someone who never leaves the house and lives in a remote area, so my guess is Great Rumbler.

Nah, someone from Kentucky-Bore would last the longest, eating cans of beans in a hidden bunker somewhere in the Appalachians.

On the other hand, I'd die from anime withdrawal near the end of the first week.

[Diunx]

The Virus would probably take a sweet time getting to this island. we also have a pretty big Voodoo community in Haiti with knowledge of how to fight the army of the undead.

[Himu]

Hopefully I'm first.

[Vizzys]

doesnt matter

in the walking dead universe even if you arent bitten you turn into a zombie anyway when you die

[Shadow Mod]

PD, Beezy and Himu would die first.

Fuck movies, black people are typically in my experience the first to be like "let's get the fuck out of here" "shoot that motherfucker dead let's go" types. Where as white people want to take chances.

[brawndolicious]

I was also going to say beezy since he's a black guy and lives in the densest city. But it could also be T234 since I'd expect him to run towards the action.

Viz would probably be last since he lives in Alaska. Zombies would get stuck in the snow and the infection would probably spread slower since people are more likely to be spread out. And Exodust would join him, taking tally of all the birthdays that we no longer celebrate.

[Human Snorenado]

First: Van Cruncheon

Last: Van Cruncheon's daughter, she'll shame those zombies to a 2nd death

[Diunx]

Demi wouldn't have a chance againts the first wave, he couldn't roll fast enough to escape an army of zombies.

[Beezy]

If it starts while I'm at work in midtown Manhattan, then yeah I'll be one of the first to go. Fucking tourist hordes would be on me in seconds.

If I'm at home which is one of the northernmost points in the Bronx? Nope. All of NYC Bore will die before me and I might actually have a chance to escape NY.

[Huff]

I think PDs pretty safe for now as its not like anyone lives in detroit to get infected

[Eric P]

Yeah I live in a population dense location, so I'd probably die fairly quickly

[Positive Touch]

id be one of those dudes who gets killed by regular people in a tense argument where i flip out from hunger pains after not eating for more than three or four hours. id steal someones rations and itd be all downhill from there.

[demi]

The Virus would probably take a sweet time getting to this island. we also have a pretty big Voodoo community in Haiti with knowledge of how to fight the army of the undead.

I played Dead Island - you would be the first to go before any of this reaches the States.

[Mr. Gundam]

I live across the street from a Cold War-era bomb shelter. I win.

[Joe Molotov]

I'd just kill myself as soon as the electricity went off. Fuck this zombie earth.

[Great Rumbler]

(Image removed from quote.) plus, the zombie apocalypse is like the X-Games of extinction event scenarios.

Japan Bore would live really long. Your zombies would all be old people, flabby and sick.

And have you seen those crazy game shows they have other there? Ninja Warrior, Takeshi's Castle, and all that...half the population is already ready and trained for any survival scenario. The other half live inside and have no contact with other human beings, and thus will be safe

[Shaka Khan]

I'd prolly be last...

The outbreak will take place as I'm leaving my Pilates class, so I hop into my car and drive to NASA, launch my self into space, hijack a satellite and rest my bones in fetal position with god-rays illuminating the outlines of my body.

[cool breeze]

Zombies in fiction rarely mess with the upper-middle and upper class.  We can determine survivability by income.

[Tasty]

First: Demi.

All the fatties would get eaten first so he'd kill himself.

Last: Wrath.

The zombies would take one look at that fedora and shuffle the opposite way.

[Tasty]

Runners up:
Andrex dies early, his inability to convert ingredients into food kills him off quick.

Hey man, soup making is a valuable skill in an apocalypse, and I've got that one down pat.

[MCD]

First: Van Cruncheon

Last: Van Cruncheon's daughter, she'll shame those zombies to a 2nd death

The Last of Us 2

[Human Snorenado]

If any sort of apocalypse happens I already have my bugout bag packed and ready to go. My apartment would not be secure so we get in the car and drive 70 miles on back highways to my ex-Marine, ex-Blackwater, coffee-roasting friend's land in rural Oklahoma. There we meet up with other vet buddies and become warlords. We survive by raiding the nearby caches that crazy, right-wing "preppers" carefully stored without ever learning how to defend them. You can guarantee there will be rape and slavery involved.

I have no illusions- I'd be among the first or second wave to be wiped out most likely.

My only chance for survival would involve still living in this small town in the Appalachians, mostly populated with the elderly.  I'd have a wild card chance out here... I also have four guns and am a pretty decent shot with them (at least at paper targets, bottles, tvs, etc) so there's that, too. 

[tehjaybo]

I'd be one of the last, but no one would ever know it because I wouldn't leave my bunker.

 

[Verdigris Murder]

If any sort of apocalypse happens I already have my bugout bag packed and ready to go. My apartment would not be secure so we get in the car and drive 70 miles on back highways to my ex-Marine, ex-Blackwater, coffee-roasting friend's land in rural Oklahoma. There we meet up with other vet buddies and become warlords. We survive by raiding the nearby caches that crazy, right-wing "preppers" carefully stored without ever learning how to defend them. You can guarantee there will be rape and slavery involved.

I have no illusions- I'd be among the first or second wave to be wiped out most likely.

My only chance for survival would involve still living in this small town in the Appalachians, mostly populated with the elderly.  I'd have a wild card chance out here... I also have four guns and am a pretty decent shot with them (at least at paper targets, bottles, tvs, etc) so there's that, too.

This is an interesting posts. TB is being pretty honest here, as is COG. TB uses trigger words: specific distances, hard nouns, verbs and adjectives. Ending in rape and slavery, which are both trigger words for COG.

He replies with a surprised black man pic, and then starts to talk again using a sort of mirror scenario to the TB's one: self deprecation, old folk, quiet surroundings, guns, sharpshooting.

In summary, COGs post wins the people's Internet award.

[Himu]

If any sort of apocalypse happens I already have my bugout bag packed and ready to go. My apartment would not be secure so we get in the car and drive 70 miles on back highways to my ex-Marine, ex-Blackwater, coffee-roasting friend's land in rural Oklahoma. There we meet up with other vet buddies and become warlords. We survive by raiding the nearby caches that crazy, right-wing "preppers" carefully stored without ever learning how to defend them. You can guarantee there will be rape and slavery involved.

Make me your second wife.

[Brehvolution]

PD, Beezy and Himu would die first.

[hampster]

Last: FatalT would put on his face paint and none of the zombies would know he's alive

First: Malek, I don't think zombies care about the spark

[Steve Contra]

I'm 100% sure I don't even want to survive a zombie apocalypse, so sign me up to go first.

Boogie or the Business survive the longest because you know, training and all that

[nudemacusers]

I guess I would be last because everyone forgot I existed










But also because I shave my butthole, and we all know post apocalyptic zombie infested economies trade heavily on shaved butthole futures.

[Shaka Khan]

I hate to sound like a predictable goon, but enslavement involves sexual servitude right?

[nudemacusers]

I hate to sound like a predictable goon, but enslavement involves sexual servitude right?

Yeah but it's only handjobs

[nudemacusers]

I'm in north central Montana breh, I have a whole states worth of gun crazies defending my turf. Not to mention the nukes.

[nudemacusers]

Word, if anything I'm gonna use my white advantage and join up with one of the many militias that call this state home.

Edit: fleeing Californians wouldn't last a winter. We'll eat their dicks for brunch.

[Mupepe]

I'd head out to my property in the New Mexico desert.  Nearest town and military base is 30 miles away.  Far away enough to stay clean, close enough for supply runs.

[Mupepe]

Shit.  I didn't think about the trip from Houston to New Mexico.  I live right near a small airport that has a plane I'm very familiar with and I can fly.  I'll try to go that route.

[Steve Youngblood]

the STL area has 3 million including people on the other side of the bridge, but me and Shaka are right next to major and minor highways near the richman burbs, we could be out pretty easy.

lennedsay and Positive Touch though

I feel pretty confident about my chances ever since that gun shop opened up right across the road from me.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

I live out in the woods now on a fairly elevated plateau, which is good. Our house has too many windows to really be defensible, tho. Zombies love windows.

[cool breeze]

stealing from doomsday preppers is the best advice in this thread.  they're all so out of shape.

I live out in the woods now on a fairly elevated plateau, which is good. Our house has too many windows to really be defensible, tho. Zombies love windows.

find a spanish friend and buy lots of bookshelves and armoires.

[recursivelyenumerable]

I am actually a zombie already, so

[tiesto]

Well, in case of any apocalyptic disaster, Long Island is a deathtrap. No way off aside from the ferries to Connecticut or taking a bridge to the boroughs, neither is an option in an apocalypse.

[lennedsay]

the STL area has 3 million including people on the other side of the bridge, but me and Shaka are right next to major and minor highways near the richman burbs, we could be out pretty easy.

lennedsay and Positive Touch though

Nicca your county of residence is almost entirely surrounded by water. Shit is gonna bottleneck at all bridges. I'm a hop, skip and a jump away from no mans land, and they don't take too kindly to brown people out there (Republicans). There are whole highways out here people don't even know exist!

Positive Touch though... The only thing he has going for him is that the city looks like it's already been through an apocalypse so maybe people will pass over.