Being a divorcee's gigolo. 

Reminds me of an L I took. I was trying to smash a cougar - brunette, 40 something pawg. I basically went to community college in high school, and I was in an English class with her back when I was about 17. Ran into her last year and we caught up, went to lunch, etc. I got the impression she was DTF - divorced, she actually was in the process of going back to school
again, had a good job but wanted something better, kept talking about how boring her life was, etc.
I tried to play things smooth, and I had my trap card ready: was going to invite her over to help with her accounting homework. The waitress arrived and I ordered something that had three side dish options: soup, salad, or onion rings. I went with onion rings and the chick was like "that's what my son would pick."

Then the food came and I was reaching for a napkin, which was right near the ketchup - I swear I had no intention of using ketchup - and she said "my son puts ketchup on his onion rings LOL." Turns out her son is like 16

I could tell that those onion rings cost me some vintage pussy. After that she sounded less desperate and my window for fucking disappeared.
