Struggle Thread mk II - No one likes us, we don't care

[Himu]

Speaking of which, I feel sooooooooooo good!

[Atramental]

 

My two cents: The fact that you swing from depressive to manic that suddenly due to hormones makes me think that you shouldn't have a lethal weapon in your possession.

But that's just me.

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this is coming from someone that owns a gun locked in a case with a combination lock btw

[close]

[toku]

glad you're good now go draw something

[Himu]

My two cents: The fact that you swing from depressive to manic that suddenly due to hormones makes me think that you shouldn't have a lethal weapon in your possession.

But that's just me.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

this is coming from someone that owns a gun locked in a case with a combination lock btw

[close]

You underestimate the role hormones play in mental health.

https://www.holtorfmed.com/hormones-mental-health/

[Madrun Badrun]

He has a point even if it down plays what hormones can do.  If you don't have the finances to have a stable supply to hormones, then you won't have a stable mental state and you shouldn't have a gun. 

[agrajag]

My two cents: The fact that you swing from depressive to manic that suddenly due to hormones makes me think that you shouldn't have a lethal weapon in your possession.

But that's just me.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

this is coming from someone that owns a gun locked in a case with a combination lock btw

[close]

You underestimate the role hormones play in mental health.

https://www.holtorfmed.com/hormones-mental-health/

I think you are missing the point, repeatedly. We understand that you're good now. But a few hours ago you were on the verge of shooting yourself.

[Himu]

He has a point even if it down plays what hormones can do.  If you don't have the finances to have a stable supply to hormones, then you won't have a stable mental state and you shouldn't have a gun.

I'll be fine once my job situation is better and have insurance again.

I'd rather risk having a gun. Either way I'm fucked. What am I going to rely on if a man gets violent? Pepper spray? A knife? Jiu jitsu? That nicca is getting shot. I'd rather have a gun and be at risk during those hard moments than without.

[seagrams hotsauce]

I don't mean to be a dick, but if jiu jitsu is lol to using a gun, why bother taking it?

[nachobro]

because working out is one of the best ways to combat depression and jiu jitsu is pretty cool

[Himu]

Jiu jitsu is good for getting away. Training Jiu jitsu will teach you what actual conflict and a fight is like. And the point is: you don't want to get into a fight. A lot can go wrong. Most people who think they'd win a street fight probably wouldn't. And those who train martial arts for the purpose are largely delusional and have watched far too many Bruce Lee movies. In Jiu Jitsu you spar live every class so you know just how easy it is to get fucked up in a fight. Much less on a street. If they get my back while standing I can do an ippon seoi nage and run. If I'm grabbed, I know how to break that grip, push him off and run away. But at the end of the day, I'm a 5'5 (5'4 now, actually?) woman. And a fight is the last thing I want if it's standing because as Jiu jitsu has taught me, even overwhelmingly large and powerful men can overcome proper technique if pushed. And you don't want to be in that scenario. This means my best chance at a win is on the ground, and on the ground in a street fight? The best use for my Jiu jitsu is rape defense. If a man tries to rape me, assuming I'm facing him, I could woo him, get a lock with my feet, pull him in a guard and put him to sleep with a triangle or bust his arm up with a kimura. But that's only in that scenario. Most of my techniques are also on the ground and not stand up, although I know some judo with single leg take downs and stuff. But there's no guarantee the man I'd be facing doesn't have wrestling/judo/bjj experience and I'm not willing to bet my life on my stand up technique. So I need an equilizer. A gun is that equalizer and I refused to be gunned down at the entrance of a super market like they did to Chyna Gibson.

Even a Gracie legend, Rickson I think? Said they'd rather have a gun than jits in a fight.

As for why? Because I'm competitive in nature and like with fighting games I like seeing myself improve at something bit by bit. It's also a very active activity and much better than running on a treadmill like a stupid hamster at the gym. Those poor saps. It's also fun. But I never in any shape or form delude myself into being a Bruce Lee. BJJ is a practical martial art for self defense for sure, but the ultimate self defense is a Smith and Wesson.

[Raist]

With all due respect, hormones don't act within hours. Food for thought.

[Mupepe]

You got the m&p shield?  Let's hit the range.  let me shoot it.

[Himu]

With all due respect, hormones don't act within hours. Food for thought.

Well I had psychological relief, either way. Feel much better.

[Tasty]

How many times in the past have you felt the need to shoot a guy but been unable to? 🤔

[Raist]

With all due respect, hormones don't act within hours. Food for thought.

Well I had psychological relief, either way. Feel much better.

Which is likely psychological itself (i.e placebo), for the most part. So maybe something to work on.

[Madrun Badrun]

How many times in the past have you felt the need to shoot a guy but been unable to? 🤔

27.

O you were asking Queen.

[TVC15]

Fuck. I got a jury summons for the first time ever Worst day ever.

[Himu]

With all due respect, hormones don't act within hours. Food for thought.

Well I had psychological relief, either way. Feel much better.

Which is likely psychological itself (i.e placebo), for the most part. So maybe something to work on.

I've been fine since going back on hormones. There's nothing to work on. The psychological duress was due to being without hormones while having low T caused by taking an anti-T medicine and depersonalization caused by dysphoria.

[Tasty]

"There's a 50% chance I kill myself today."

"There's nothing to work on."

[Himu]

My suicidal ideation came about from a lack of hormones. I'm seeking a therapist and talked about it at the doctors office. Also, clarification: "there's a 50% chance I kill myself today if I don't get hormones" In any case, therapy will hopefully help but I don't know. Last time the guy suggested I lose all my friends because "some people we outgrow" or something idk. And it feels a bit hug boxy when I want answers to deep questions like,"why does my dad want nothing to do with me?" which I'm not sure he can provide but hopefully we will see!

Find it odd how so many people here under estimate or under value how much that medicine works for me. It stops me from blowing my brains out and I was off of it for five months. The pain is almost over.

Now all I have to do is reverse this disgusting masculinization from being off of it. Body hair. Ew. I looked in the mirror and saw me again! I'm not suffering from disassociative symptoms anymore!

[agrajag]

Sometimes I am close to blowing my brains out, but I don't think getting rid of the deadly weapon I keep in my house is a good idea.

[Himu]

Welcome to the plight of being trans! You need self defense, but you have a higher risk of suicide! Which are you going to give to give up?! I'd rather have the gun. The stats don't lie. niccas will kill you without remorse. But they must be reminded that some cheeseburgers pack heat, and I'm not talking about what's in my pants (it's been estrogenized and suffers from atrophy sorry)

https://www.nytimes.com/2016/06/22/opinion/the-lgbt-case-for-guns.html

Only someone who doesn't have to make this choice would ever say that dog shit to me, Agra.

[agrajag]

You're right. I don't know what it's like to be in your shoes, or other trans women, and the dangers that you face. I believe you 100% that it's a real risk and that you need to be able to protect yourself from. However, just from an outsider's perspective, it seems that you haven't had to use your gun and shoot anyone yet, so you've been doing well in that regard. I like those odds better than the 50% chance of you shooting yourself if you don't get your hormones. Like I said, I don't know what it's like to walk in your shoes, and I concede that brandishing a weapon is a matter of survival for you. Maybe you should invest in a taser, or some other weapon for self defense that wouldn't give you such easy access to self-destruction?

[Himu]

I don't have self destruction as long as I'm on mones and it took me five months before I was willing to end it. Tasers don't do shit. Brandishing is illegal. If I carry, I shoot to kill. I know the ramifications.

[TVC15]

Queenie, if you change your mind about blowing your brains out, send me a message. If I help you, it might get me out of jury duty.

[Himu]

Bro, jury duty is easy. You have to be a moron or someone with an agenda to becomes juror. They're going to sit you in a room. You're going to be asked questions. It's gonna be shit like,"have you ever been in a motor accident" to see if there's a pertinent bias to the case. Smart people will wise up and know ASAP that they're trying to find a relevant bias to the case so you're not a biased juror. Dumb people won't know what's going on and not raise their hand even though they just told you they REALLY need to leave and go to work and end up on a jury questioning panel because they were too stupid. Basically, it's easy to get out and leave and you'll know it when you see it.

[TVC15]

Bro, jury duty is easy. You have to be a moron or someone with an agenda to becomes juror. They're going to sit you in a room. You're going to be asked questions. It's gonna be shit like,"have you ever been in a motor accident" to see if there's a pertinent bias to the case. Smart people will wise up and know ASAP that they're trying to find a relevant bias to the case so you're not a biased juror. Dumb people won't know what's going on and not raise their hand even though they just told you they REALLY need to leave and go to work and end up on a jury questioning panel because they were too stupid. Basically, it's easy to get out and leave and you'll know it when you see it.

If you say so, Himu. Just let it be known that if I end up sentencing a PoC to death, it’s on you for not letting me help you kill yourself. I have baaaaaaad luck, too.

[Himu]

[agrajag]

The work situation has been really weighing on me today. Had to say goodbye to two employees that have been with us for about a year. Had to mentally say good bye to two others who won't know they got laid off till tomorrow when the HR director calls them. Spent a lot of time talking to other guys who were in the trenches with me since the beginning that are feeling that our dream is about to come to an end.

Was listening to some songs on my commute back home and some emotional cord got pulled in me and I a few tears came out of my eyes. It's probably been years since I've cried, since emotional numbness is my usual state. Fuck.

Yeah it's a bit sad when a good workplace unravels like that. AFAIK it's fairly rare the mood ever get fixed once it's broken.

Yeah, we have these new consultants, and no offense Vom, but they are a couple of French assholes! It's pretty much a hostile takeover, as the inventors who hired me and my boss pulled out and my boss put in his resignation and I'm stuck with these guys. They're making all sorts of cuts and changes, and the business is probably not going to make it more than a few months, they'll probably dissolve it and eat the losses. Even though they're assuring everyone that they want it to thrive 

RE: my work situation

My boss's last day was yesterday. Since then we've had one manager resign, one more of my employees quit. And still these guys are not satisfied. They want me to lay off two more people. One of them that already escaped by the skin of her teeth because she was on the original layoff list but was saved by one of the senior managers who got sentimental about firing her because he talks with this lady in the mornings when he's there. This sucks.

[agrajag]

It kind of is, I mean, that lady is utterly useless. But still, it's never fun firing people. And the last time around the H.R. director was looking for someone to translate for her because the lady who's about to get fired doesn't speak English very well.

[TVC15]

Ugh. A friend invited me to go see Gilbert Gottfried next weekend and I really don't have an excuse to not go

[Valkyrie]

Ugh. A friend invited me to go see Gilbert Gottfried next weekend and I really don't have an excuse to not go

http://www.thebore.com/forum/index.php?topic=43714.msg2299941#msg2299941

[Valkyrie]

At first I thought I had a UTI, then I thought it could be a kidney stone, but now I think it's probably a stomach ulcer. Weird and uncomfortable pain. :<

[agrajag]

At first I thought I had a UTI, then I thought it could be a kidney stone, but now I think it's probably a stomach ulcer. Weird and uncomfortable pain. :<

Go get yourself checked out. I've had intestinal ulcers and it's no fun.

[Valkyrie]

Doctor said it's probably a UTI based on the test results, but I never had one before so it was hard to pinpoint. Especially when I've heard horror stories of the worst symptom feeling like you're peeing razor blades. Guess I got lucky on that one!

But I'm gonna go ahead and blame it on this cold ass country with their toilet seats made out of ice blocks.

[TVC15]

I ate at an Oaxacan restaurant on Saturday. Whichever of you Mexiborers has roots closest to Oaxaca owes me child support for the thing I birthed in the toilet last night.

[Mr Gilhaney]

Got my biopsy results. Probably autoimmune hepatitis (this is concluded purely based of excluding everything else...). Meeting tomorrow at the hospital where hopefully they will make me understand it a bit more, so far I am just reading the notes from the guy who researched the actual biopsy. But fuck these meds and the side effects that I am reading. 

[Raist]

Shit, sorry dude :/
While I'm not a medical doctor (thank god for that), I'm an immunologist (PhD), so don't hesitate to PM any questions etc, should you feel like it.

[TVC15]

I think I have diarrhea. I foolishly had a delicious milkshake and forgot that I’ve been exhibiting symptoms of lactose intolerance. Fuck me if it wasn’t delicious, though.

[Valkyrie]

[I'm a Puppy!]

"online friend"

spoiler (click to show/hide)

but I love all of you 

[close]

[Mupepe]

Face down, bottoms up. That's the way i like my sluts.

I'd date all of you. But especially andy

[toku]

[tiesto]

Bad case of the flu, was up all night vomiting in the shower... thankfully no elves tried to molest me... 

[studyguy]

I ate at an Oaxacan restaurant on Saturday. Whichever of you Mexiborers has roots closest to Oaxaca owes me child support for the thing I birthed in the toilet last night.

From further north but can't deny the little dudes have some dishes that are 

[Valkyrie]

 

[desert punk]

 

That normal for where you live?

[Rufus]

My sympathies. Temporary, I hope. Or are you out in the sticks? Not even my old connection was as bad as that.

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My up is slightly higher than your down.

[close]

[Great Rumbler]

(Image removed from quote.)

That's even slower than my connection.

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[close]

[Valkyrie]

Yeah, it's temporary. Thank fucking God. I'm gonna make sure my new apartment doesn't include internet in the rent, so I can order it on my own name and make sure I get something decent.

[eleuin]

Well happy birthday to me, my maternal grandfather passed away today. Wasn't close to him so I just feel bad for my mom. A longtime coming, he's been in palliative care for quite a while for Alzheimer's and other complications. She's handling it well but damn, just wanted to say getting old sucks.

My other grandpa passed away today as well, actually    but that was many years ago

Good thing I don't really do big celebrations anymore

[team filler]

Got out the Army and now I just take care of my mother(she has ALS). Today is a bad day for her.

[Brehvolution]

You are doing good work, filler. Your mother is lucky to have you there with her.

[Phoenix Dark]

Bless up man, and daps for being a good son. You have experience taking care of older women Filler, it'll be ok.

[Huff]

Got drunk watching the gator game as we got destroyed by Georgia, then the gf says we're going to dinner with her mom and step dad. Well fuck me this is gunna go well

[chronovore]

(Image removed from quote.)

We've been having a problem where every weekend our ISP seems to lose the plot, and my download stat drops from 89Mb/s to 1Mb/s.

Next month we'll switch to a new ISP which will take us to 300Mb/s and drop our monthly bill to 60% of the current one.

[Valkyrie]

Had 400 Mbps down in Japan.. RIP. It's not that "it's not the same" here, but I can't do fucking shit on this connection. I don't mind not having mediocre internet, but I really mind having internet that does not work. Can't play games at all, and browsing the internet is too slow. My mom never noticed how bad it really is because all she does online is browse Facebook on her iPad.

I've been just sitting on my phone for a month instead of using my computer when I set it up ago week go because of how unusable the internet is. It makes me extra pissed off because I have a good PC that deserves to be used. :'(

[hungrynoob]

I feel your pain, I also like to have decent working technology. However, i have a laptop than if i were to put on my lap would instantly turn off, im guessing thats because the board is cracked, and needs to be level to work. Or something to do with the fact its so hot I dont need heating for my room anymore. I guess my internet speed is ok, but my laptop chugs along so much that half the webpages I try to browse just stutters and jitters when scrolling or visiting new pages.

I have a phone, but its a windows phone. Doesnt overheat, yet somehow runs slower? If i click a url it can take a good 30 seconds before it even attempts to load a new page. If i take a photo, sometimes it wont show up in my roll for a few hours. Or half the time it will just stop whatever its doing. Just stop, and you never know if it will resume what we were doing when he wakes up from his nap or have a complete melt down and either just close the app or just shut down completely and decide itll come back on when hes ready.

It's all my own fault, this laptop has taken a few beatings and I dropped my iphone in the toilet and am resulting to using the work phone, and im broke as shit and cant replace anything. Its all a very frustrating experience.

Ask your mum how does she expect you to take kids to school with such low internet, she'll get it changed.

[Cerveza mas fina]

Monday, end of the month.

All my prospected deals moved to another month, nothing is working currently, very depressing day. How long will I keep this up? How long till I am let go?

Seriously: Sales, never again.

[desert punk]

Man, working in sales would utterly destroy me, so kudos to you and everyone else for actually working there and keeping at it for a prolonged time.

Do you have other options that you can pursue?