I really wish there were a proper national needle this year - if Trump lost, the needle would provide some bookending catharsis and if he won, the deepening sinking feeling as it gradualy approached 50%, the desperate stages-of-grief mental thrashing as it entered and traversed the bad half, and the eventual psychic crash and ensuing days-long alcoholic-insomniac binge would at least feel familiar.
Is there some kind of bootleg needle somewhere I can use?