Author Topic: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011  (Read 906899 times)

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porkbun

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #14760 on: November 18, 2021, 04:41:33 PM »
I went to the laywer's office, and had a good conversation. Talked about financial options, went through our debts and assets. I really thought it would be worse.

I would take an outlay against my 403(b) and will have to pay support to the end of her life. Support would be 1500-2000 a month.

EXCEPT.

I have the evidence of the multiple affairs which then becomes a negotiating card during mediation. If she wants to negotiate, the results can be laid out and say - $1000 a month and you walk away. If not, feel free to go to court and we can talk about them in detail, with evidence of her sister encouraging her to cheat on me and her conversations with the other men.

It's so upsetting, not just because of the broken house, but the years I lost waiting on her to take responsibility.

I am ready for the questions - why are you doing this to the family, to that I would say - "Why did you?"

So I filed. Aiming for December 1st. I have to be passive and just wait it out.

Tomorrow is our anniversary.

I've been separated from my wife for a few months now.  I feel your pain.  Best of luck to you.

 :winning

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #14761 on: November 18, 2021, 06:02:23 PM »
You mean  :social :social2 ?

:teehee
I mean this one:



The way her eyes pierce my soul <333333333333333333333

if she only knew how easy it was to get me to stop complimenting or engaging at all with other women. All she had to do was talk to me directly  :stahp
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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #14762 on: November 18, 2021, 10:52:15 PM »
I went to the laywer's office, and had a good conversation. Talked about financial options, went through our debts and assets. I really thought it would be worse.

I would take an outlay against my 403(b) and will have to pay support to the end of her life. Support would be 1500-2000 a month.

EXCEPT.

I have the evidence of the multiple affairs which then becomes a negotiating card during mediation. If she wants to negotiate, the results can be laid out and say - $1000 a month and you walk away. If not, feel free to go to court and we can talk about them in detail, with evidence of her sister encouraging her to cheat on me and her conversations with the other men.

It's so upsetting, not just because of the broken house, but the years I lost waiting on her to take responsibility.

I am ready for the questions - why are you doing this to the family, to that I would say - "Why did you?"

So I filed. Aiming for December 1st. I have to be passive and just wait it out.

Tomorrow is our anniversary.

I've been separated from my wife for a few months now.  I feel your pain.  Best of luck to you.

 :winning
no more white women 2021  :stahp
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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #14763 on: November 18, 2021, 11:09:14 PM »


us <3
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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #14764 on: November 21, 2021, 03:28:05 AM »
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zomgee

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #14765 on: November 23, 2021, 09:50:37 AM »
I really went after my lawyer with a need for assurances, and eventually he told me to shut the fuck up. Literally. He said I have to stop going down rabbit holes and chasing possibilities. At some point I have to trust the system that he's going to the best he can do but that there can never be a guarantee.

I told him I was overly analytical and I *had* to go down those roads. It's who I was. He understood, but stayed firm - there's a point I have to release some trust that he's going to fight as hard as he can for me but there are no guarantees.

He asked - are you doing this to wake up your wife or are you doing this to leave your wife?

The idea of staying felt repellent.

I signed the divorce decree on Monday.
rub

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #14766 on: November 25, 2021, 06:29:20 AM »
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james

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BIONIC

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #14768 on: November 27, 2021, 02:16:56 AM »
Bruh, those comments  :whoo
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Nintex

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #14769 on: November 27, 2021, 05:48:19 AM »
:era "I can take of myself thank you very much, I'm not your property. Relationships aren't just about money. Get with the times."

:era "Why are we splitting the bill. Only a $2 coffee? What happened to real men?" 

Quote
You can owe him a kiss or two if he really wants some physical contact for his cash. Hold his hand and let him peep a bra strap or two on a real woman instead of his streaky laptop screen. (which is still unnecessary because if he likes you, he won't need it; if he does need it, he doesn't like you.)
Quote
This. And I've had men arriving to the place before me, sitting down and order their coffee/drink so that when I come I have to order and pay mine myself
Quote
Emotions, disappointment, train fare aside I had wasted 4 hours of my time and energy for a £2 coffee. Never again. Thank god restrictions have lifted and LVM canít ask you to coffee / walks under the guise of Covid.
Quote
Sorry but as a bi woman I'd rather dIe than having to ask a woman I like for a coffee/Walk date.
TOXIC MASCULINITY

So much for the bois thinking that casual coffee/walking dates are more personal and less intimidating.
Next time just arrange for a Tesla to casually pick her up from the bus stop and drive her to a rented villa for a private dinner on a water bed.
Then she'll feel more comfortable in knowing that you're not doing it just to have sex.

Don't forget to split the bill though, that shit is expensive.
🤴

Bebpo

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #14770 on: November 27, 2021, 09:49:00 PM »
Kinda random but was thinking about how one of the really small things that was off in terms of compatibility in my last relationship was that my ex never got depressed. She was on the complete opposite side of emotions on the myers-briggs and was all logic. So she couldn't relate to any of the sad depressing music I like which is like 90% of music I like. I never really saw any emotions from her but I could tell when she was happy because she made it a point to smile.

I'd never been with anyone like that before and found it kind of weird. I don't think I could date someone like that again.

HardcoreRetro

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #14771 on: November 28, 2021, 06:04:03 AM »
She sounds autistic.

"I never really saw any emotions from her but I could tell when she was happy because she made it a point to smile."

Come on, dude. Did she pull out one of those slips with different faces on it so she could process logically which face to make?

zomgee

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #14772 on: November 28, 2021, 11:04:06 AM »
Today is the day I tell her. Now I *was* going to let the divorce decree get delivered to her as her official announcement from me, but my therapist felt that was a bad idea and I agree with her. Someone might find out early and tell her or she'd find out from the local newspaper, I have to get over any anxiety, and while she lowered the boom on me with multiple affairs out of the blue: I AM NOT THAT PERSON.

I've struggled with what I'm going to say. My therapist and I were going to work on this, but we ran out of time, but when she started it was firm, short, and basically: if there's anything to discuss it needs to be with a lawyer, and that she needs to get a lawyer. And that I really don't want to talk about anything else until we are with mediators or a lawyer. That's it. Over and over. Be firm and be emotionless.

Today we are having a party at our house for my neice, her Sweet 16. I really love her. We've become good friends because she started acting in community theater. I really want to have a final nice interaction with my niece before it all goes to hell. People have told me that she will understand but I just want one more 'pure' interaction before she might decide she doesn't like me or whatever. :) It's completely for me.

If it goes nuts, I have friends who are ready to help and there's a hotel not 5 minutes away.

Anyway this is what I'm after.

Wife:

I have decided that the marriage isn't salvageable and the romantic relationship has run its course. Your continued unfaithfulness has broken the marriage vows, and your unwillingness to seek help have damaged the relationship beyond repair.

I have retained a lawyer, this is a copy of the divorce decree that you will be officially receiving via certified mail this week. It will need to be signed for by you. You should look into getting a lawyer. I do not wish to discuss any further particulars outside of mediation or law offices. I am going to talk to (24 year old kid at home) about this shortly and I am going to leave for a few hours to be by myself.

Daughter:

First and always, I love you. I always will. I need you to understand none of this is your fault. I have decided that I cannot stay in this marriage because of your mom's continued unfaithfulness with other men, which I did not deserve. Your mom has cheated on me multiple times, and I feel she didnít work on the things she needed to: to help fix why she did it repeatedly. Some day if you want, and when you're comfortable we can talk more about it, but please understand I have to do this for myself. I promise you, none of this is your fault.
rub

james

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #14773 on: November 28, 2021, 12:44:58 PM »
my neice, her Sweet 16. I really love her. We've become good friends

:pika

Kevin spacey is that you
:O

zomgee

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #14774 on: November 28, 2021, 01:05:59 PM »
good one
rub

james

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #14775 on: November 28, 2021, 01:53:43 PM »
It's a good movie

If your daughter is 24 in sure she will be fine with this
:O

Nintex

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #14776 on: November 28, 2021, 02:30:49 PM »
Quote
I have decided that the marriage isn't salvageable and the romantic relationship has run its course.
Just make sure you start blasting 'In The End' from Linkin Park when you say this and tape it as evidence.

One thing one of my co-workers learned from a messy break-up is that you should RECORD everything.
For the first half to the 'case' he got fucked over by things she thought or claimed he had said and 'believe women' is still the norm with these things.
And be prepared if she feels attacked or betrayed because she will throw everything and the kitchen sink at you, women tend to get vile in these situations.
She knew he had ADD and took advantage of that every step of the way. Thankfully he was smart and had his sister as a mediator to work things out.

Even though it's going to be difficult you're doing the right thing by beating her to the punch.
Another friend of mine knew his GF was cheating because he was poor and confronted her and told her to think over the relationship.
She then called the new BF crying saying that he had beaten her and he got arrested and was denied access to his child for 5 months because guys who abuse women are treated very harshly and he couldn't exactly lawyer up.
When she finally admitted she lied, she claimed to have panicked over the break-up blah blah. She was considered 'brave' and from that point forward everyone pretended it never happened.
"Just be happy you can see your child again during the weekends!" was basically what the cheap ass state funded lawyer told my friend, who was in a very dark place after those events.
🤴

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #14777 on: November 28, 2021, 10:07:11 PM »
Iím not sure Iíd lay out the cheating part to your daughter in the initial conversation. Emotions will be high enough and it might come off a certain way. Of course you know the situation and personalities better. Best of luck buddy.

zomgee

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #14778 on: November 29, 2021, 03:55:34 AM »
it all happened, it all sucked, all of it was so sad. 

I'll share details later.
rub

Nintex

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #14779 on: November 29, 2021, 04:29:57 AM »
it all happened, it all sucked, all of it was so sad. 

I'll share details later.
You did the right thing :tocry
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james

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #14780 on: November 29, 2021, 10:25:39 AM »
it all happened, it all sucked, all of it was so sad. 

I'll share details later.

Stay strong friend
:O

chronovore

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #14781 on: November 29, 2021, 07:51:28 PM »
it all happened, it all sucked, all of it was so sad. 

I'll share details later.

You got through it. Your life will get better from here.

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #14782 on: November 30, 2021, 02:20:17 AM »
got sent some sexy pics. so much thighs and ass  :rejoice

the bih told me she put on weight and  it just made me want to fuck her more. now I'm seeing it for myself and goddamn  :heart

I already know where her weight goes. she's pretty much shaped like doja cat 5'2 and everything goes straight to her hips, thighs and ass. even them titties start to spill out her bras  :rejoice
« Last Edit: November 30, 2021, 04:55:43 PM by team filler »
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zomgee

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #14783 on: November 30, 2021, 02:35:22 PM »
WW = Wandering Wife.

Sunday was my niece's (by marriage) Sweet 16 party, which featured a lot of WW's family. Two of her sisters, their kids and her brother and her mom. I wanted a pure day to see them to remember them. I pulled her sister away to talk to her, and she knew about the 2006 one. I told her I was going to split with WW, and she just yelled out in anguish. "Did she do it again?!" Yeah, she tried really hard to get with someone in 2016. I didn't get into the details. She said I have to leave WW, it's not healthy. Party was over around 6PM.

Sunday night I texted my wife to meet me in our theater room for to talk. I built that room a few years ago, but we don't talk in it much. I had a copy of the divorce papers in a folder along with my script. I tried to be as disconnected and factual as possible, I told her exactly what I wanted to say as above. She absolutely positively had zero idea this was going to happen. At first, she refused it, said she won't sign for it in the mail. I told her she had to and she needed a lawyer. If she didn't sign it an LEO serves her, and she does not want that. She still said she wouldn't sign. I then said she'd get a default judgement and she REALLY does not want that.

Lots of crying by both of us. Going through how hard this is going to be. Her begging. Pleading. Me saying I understand, but I can't.

WW felt we should tell 24yo daughter the next night, but she came down to check on us, and we just spilled with exactly what I was going to say above. She refused to believe it, cussed us out, played slam the doors, and went to her room. Texted us later she was going to play video games with a friend online. I told her that was a good way to get through this at this time.

I left for a bit to talk to her sister to soften the blow to my niece. I wanted to tell my niece so she knew the truth. Sister also had no idea. She was shocked, and in an unhappy marriage herself. She asked if I could talk to niece the following night.

Came home, WW and I cried a lot together. Emotions are just high. I know it's not the accepted way, I know. I don't want her to suffer, even after all I have been through. I wanted it to work and I practically killed myself to do it.

She's still staying in the house for now, but she is going to her mother's tomorrow night and start apartment shopping.

Yesterday I tried to work but one of my bosses got one look at me on a teleconference and told me to stop for the day, I was not in any shape to work. WW stayed home and we talked a lot about how things are going to change. How it's going to be hard. She made an appointment with an individual counselor. I told her she really has to work on herself to fix these things, I tried, and tried, but I couldn't force her to fix herself with therapy, she'd always quit and tell me to "not think about it." I told her that is what screwed us up. She knows, and she is facing consequences.

Talked to daughter, and gave her all of the details, only obscuring the absolute facts of the texts and messages. She didn't know anything about them. She wants to stay with me.

Visited my niece and told her. I held her hand just because I was afraid I'd never see her again, she would hate me, etc. She was shellshocked. I told her I was sorry and that I felt guilty. She said she still felt I was her uncle. I hoped so. I feel like shit about all of this.
 
WW looked at apartments and just couldn't. They are cold and empty, but it's also the reality. Of course, I feel bad for her, but I cannot fix it.

So here we are today, still sad. Both of us. Knowing it must happen, and I cannot put the genie back in the bottle any more than she can "take the affairs back." They happened; this is happening. It must. She will get papers delivered to her tomorrow or Thursday.
rub

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #14784 on: November 30, 2021, 04:14:07 PM »
got sent some sexy pics. so much thighs and ass  :rejoice

the bih told me she put on weight and  it just made me want to fuck her more. now I'm seeing it for myself and goddamn  :heart
thing is, I'm not even sure I want her at all anymore. I have the money to fly out, but I'm already making excuses in my head about it.
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chronovore

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #14785 on: November 30, 2021, 06:17:21 PM »
Zomgee, congratulations on getting through the announcement. If anything, it sounds like youíre being much nicer than Iíd be.

SIL also in an unhappy relationship?

Does WWís whole family have problems?

BIONIC

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #14786 on: November 30, 2021, 11:20:15 PM »
got sent some sexy pics. so much thighs and ass  :rejoice

the bih told me she put on weight and  it just made me want to fuck her more. now I'm seeing it for myself and goddamn  :heart
thing is, I'm not even sure I want her at all anymore. I have the money to fly out, but I'm already making excuses in my head about it.

Margs

zomgee

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #14787 on: December 01, 2021, 12:26:29 AM »
Zomgee, congratulations on getting through the announcement. If anything, it sounds like youíre being much nicer than Iíd be.

SIL also in an unhappy relationship?

Does WWís whole family have problems?

Let's see.

One sister got a divorce from her husband and MAY HAVE cheated on him before (this was news to me this weekend). She has remarried.
One sister's wife charged $55,000 in credit card debt without the sister knowing about.
One sister is married to an abusive alcoholic.
Two brothers aren't married.
rub

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #14788 on: December 02, 2021, 12:38:51 AM »
got sent some sexy pics. so much thighs and ass  :rejoice

the bih told me she put on weight and  it just made me want to fuck her more. now I'm seeing it for myself and goddamn  :heart
thing is, I'm not even sure I want her at all anymore. I have the money to fly out, but I'm already making excuses in my head about it.


part of the problem with me going back to that area. is that there are some people who got away from me while I was out there. I have their home addresses and it's so tempting to pay them all a visit. these people had plans to do me harm, thinking they could rob me and whatever else. all I was trying to do was have some fun out there after I got out the army, so I wasn't sober and not at all trying to get into any bullshit. none of them followed through  with their plans, but I heard about it all because they talk too much.

there was this one dude katlyn was with that didn't understand what I am. then I sent him pictures from inside his bedroom at the house he was staying at. that fucked his world up, because he was smoking too much of his own supply and already paranoid out of his mind. dude probably still peaking out his blinds looking for me at night  :lol

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #14789 on: December 02, 2021, 06:50:17 AM »
it all happened, it all sucked, all of it was so sad. 

I'll share details later.

WW = Wandering Wife.

Sunday was my niece's (by marriage) Sweet 16 party, which featured a lot of WW's family. Two of her sisters, their kids and her brother and her mom. I wanted a pure day to see them to remember them. I pulled her sister away to talk to her, and she knew about the 2006 one. I told her I was going to split with WW, and she just yelled out in anguish. "Did she do it again?!" Yeah, she tried really hard to get with someone in 2016. I didn't get into the details. She said I have to leave WW, it's not healthy. Party was over around 6PM.

Sunday night I texted my wife to meet me in our theater room for to talk. I built that room a few years ago, but we don't talk in it much. I had a copy of the divorce papers in a folder along with my script. I tried to be as disconnected and factual as possible, I told her exactly what I wanted to say as above. She absolutely positively had zero idea this was going to happen. At first, she refused it, said she won't sign for it in the mail. I told her she had to and she needed a lawyer. If she didn't sign it an LEO serves her, and she does not want that. She still said she wouldn't sign. I then said she'd get a default judgement and she REALLY does not want that.

Lots of crying by both of us. Going through how hard this is going to be. Her begging. Pleading. Me saying I understand, but I can't.

WW felt we should tell 24yo daughter the next night, but she came down to check on us, and we just spilled with exactly what I was going to say above. She refused to believe it, cussed us out, played slam the doors, and went to her room. Texted us later she was going to play video games with a friend online. I told her that was a good way to get through this at this time.

I left for a bit to talk to her sister to soften the blow to my niece. I wanted to tell my niece so she knew the truth. Sister also had no idea. She was shocked, and in an unhappy marriage herself. She asked if I could talk to niece the following night.

Came home, WW and I cried a lot together. Emotions are just high. I know it's not the accepted way, I know. I don't want her to suffer, even after all I have been through. I wanted it to work and I practically killed myself to do it.

She's still staying in the house for now, but she is going to her mother's tomorrow night and start apartment shopping.

Yesterday I tried to work but one of my bosses got one look at me on a teleconference and told me to stop for the day, I was not in any shape to work. WW stayed home and we talked a lot about how things are going to change. How it's going to be hard. She made an appointment with an individual counselor. I told her she really has to work on herself to fix these things, I tried, and tried, but I couldn't force her to fix herself with therapy, she'd always quit and tell me to "not think about it." I told her that is what screwed us up. She knows, and she is facing consequences.

Talked to daughter, and gave her all of the details, only obscuring the absolute facts of the texts and messages. She didn't know anything about them. She wants to stay with me.

Visited my niece and told her. I held her hand just because I was afraid I'd never see her again, she would hate me, etc. She was shellshocked. I told her I was sorry and that I felt guilty. She said she still felt I was her uncle. I hoped so. I feel like shit about all of this.
 
WW looked at apartments and just couldn't. They are cold and empty, but it's also the reality. Of course, I feel bad for her, but I cannot fix it.

So here we are today, still sad. Both of us. Knowing it must happen, and I cannot put the genie back in the bottle any more than she can "take the affairs back." They happened; this is happening. It must. She will get papers delivered to her tomorrow or Thursday.

:sicko

demi

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #14790 on: December 02, 2021, 01:07:45 PM »
How can an innocent sweet man who loves singing and pinball go through such a tumultuous relationship. Life isnt fair

I want to take care of you, and pamper you with love and affection and pinball
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Raist

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #14791 on: December 02, 2021, 02:25:11 PM »
How can an innocent sweet man who loves singing and pinball go through such a tumultuous relationship. Life isnt fair

I want to take care of you, and pamper you with love and affection and pinball


Pinball or Peen-balls?


Zomgee, this really sucks man, but it does certainly seem like this is for the best.

zomgee

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #14792 on: December 03, 2021, 12:14:57 PM »
It is hard. And really, I should have done something so long ago. I talked to my kid about it and she looked at me and she said, "You should have left in 1996, dummy."

I told her I was proud of her. :)
rub

Nintex

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #14793 on: December 03, 2021, 12:21:25 PM »
Quote
You should have left in 1996, dummy.

This is newsfeed worthy
🤴

chronovore

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #14794 on: December 05, 2021, 06:22:30 PM »
It is hard. And really, I should have done something so long ago. I talked to my kid about it and she looked at me and she said, "You should have left in 1996, dummy."

I told her I was proud of her. :)

My parents divorced when I was 24 years old. My mother apologized for giving up and leaving my father, and I could only ask her why she had waited so long. Kids want whatís best for their parents, the same way the parents want whatís best for the kid.

Until my parents divorced, I couldnít conceive of getting married. Marriage looked absolutely miserable. It wasnít until my parents divorced that I fundamentally realized that my parents were not in a good marriage, and that there was a possibility that marriage could be a good thing.

zomgee

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #14795 on: December 06, 2021, 02:36:29 AM »
And you know I was terrified of that. I was afraid that splitting was bad, staying married was bad, but either way my kid would get fucked up. I don't know if what I did was right. She said she didn't notice, but she did watch a dysfunctional relationship. Watched someone have unpredictable moods because he was so bitter.
rub

james

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #14796 on: December 06, 2021, 01:01:39 PM »
If this whole unfortunate situation has caused distress to your daughter, I am more than happy to step in and comfort her
:O

chronovore

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Re: RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011
« Reply #14797 on: December 06, 2021, 05:44:09 PM »
If this whole unfortunate situation has caused distress to your daughter, I am more than happy to step in and comfort her
:iface

And you know I was terrified of that. I was afraid that splitting was bad, staying married was bad, but either way my kid would get fucked up. I don't know if what I did was right. She said she didn't notice, but she did watch a dysfunctional relationship. Watched someone have unpredictable moods because he was so bitter.
Of course you were. In the end, itís better for your offspring see you stand up for yourself, and do what it takes to get what you need, live the life you want. In the end, thatís the example you want them to learn.