So...
I'm speechless.
So I was on a Muslim date app. I normally only look for women inside the USA but one time I got a message from a woman in Indonesia. Something clicked and we shared numbers for WhatsApp. This was a while back.
I'm shocked despite the fact we weren't born in the same country, despite the fact English isn't her first language, we can still communicate and we share so much together. Her English is pretty good too. There's no games involved. It's either you want me or you don't. She hasn't said shit about money or her expectations regarding that. She has focused on my character and religion. She was amazed at my recitation of Fatiha and said it was beautiful. I can be myself with her with zero airs. I don't have to portray the black alpha male thing that many black women (even Muslim black women) expect and it's a shock to the system. We share a passion in art, particularly fine art, and she's even had shows (albeit to a small crowd). I have a lot of connections in the art world from my time putting my nose against the grind stone in New York, so I let her into my network, on a risk, with someone I know that's a professional art curator to give suggestions, support, and trajectory professionaly. She might have found a mentor in this person. It's amazing to support each other professionally and emotionally.
I mean, I'm not saying this to run shit on the face American women. I've met a lot of cool chicks and had the opportunity to be with a lot of amazing caliber women once I learned to unfuck myself and learn how to be myself and a proper gentleman again. Unfortunate it's been a thing of bad circumstances. Either there's too much of an age gap despite the obvious chemistry, or she's a good woman and we don't have chemistry. Or we have chemistry and we mutually agreed to be friends. So many wonderful women I've had the opportunity to be with, or just chill with, or almost be with and turns out I'm falling for some Indonesian woman half a world away. She told me she wants me for her birthday gift. I've been updating my passport so unfortunately I'll miss it but I have a really good feeling about her. I'm still vetting of course but hopefully this works out. So far I haven't found a hole in my vet process.
It's really interesting, my evolution as a guy post-detransition. At first I was really mad at the world, and especially women, and I was over compensating by being this fake macho man. But the more I fell into my own confidence from the hard knock school of life, I gained my own swagger, which most women find irresistible. But unfortunately, as a Muslim man, I can't be with just any woman. And the non-muslim women want to fuck when I don't want to/can't have sex before marriage. The better I got the more selective I get yet the more women want to be with me, if not for a relationship at least for casual sex. The more confident I am the more I see women just looking at me. It's an attention I am not used to but am flattered by. Unfortunately attention doesn't turn into a wife, not necessarily. Being in therapy and talking about my demons has really helped.
At first when I detransitioned if I tried to be a woman's friend. Lol. Didn't work. Then I consumed red pill content and thought I had to be an asshole. LOL. Definitely didn't work. I eventually settled into a beautiful medium that is what I like to call "good guy with a spine". And shock and awe, it works. Like really well.
