They reject you after getting to know you. Are you thirsty? Are you lacking in confidence? Do you hate people?
I think most of the time it’s just not a good match or I’m not really their type. Like with my Mexican friend I use to talk about it, in the end I’m simply not that kind of dude she’d be into. She likes big kind of “savage” dudes. I’m a quirky hipster. That’s what that was and I’m kind of happy that didn’t happen because she was right.
With this most recent girl, well I thought it was a better match. She and I had similar interests, but I guess she just wasn’t interested. Maybe it was the timing(she got out of serious thing not too long) or maybe I just didn’t excite her enough. I don’t know.
I don’t think I come off as thirsty. I talk to women like I want to be talked to. I don’t like when people get all suggestive and forward with sex talk. There’s a time and place for that, but if I’m talking to you casually I’m not looking to tell you how I want to fuck you. Besides no one has told me I came off as desperate and these people are still friendly with me so...
But I also probably don’t know when or how to raise the flirting level which is sometimes needed. Like that Italian girl I mentioned recently, she lost interests probably because I didn’t raise the stakes. I wasn’t really interested in her, but I didn’t even know how to really navigate that one.
And your confidence question. You know I don’t fucking know. My confidence is fucking hot and cold, which probably describes my personality. I don’t have confidence initially no. But if I feel there’s a chance I start to feel like yeah fuck yeah I can do it. But then that’s easily broken. I feel confident when I feel things are working that’s for sure. I actually feel confident in a lot of aspects of my life. But I sure don’t feel confident with women. I usually feel like yeah this probably won’t end well or that women won’t like me that way.
But no I don’t hate people, not really despite any angst ridden comments I’ve ever made. I love people and I love making others happy. If anything I want a girlfriend to figure out how to pleasure a woman. Like that’s part of my desire for one and I don’t mean just sexually.
That's all laying out there. I hate to be a dick but that advice I think AIA gave of finding an average looking girl you're not too invested in to break down your self-doubt was basically totally correct.
I understand this, but I don’t like it. First for me to really want to eat out and be super intimate with someone I want to be attracted to them. Also I’m not really into the idea of a training wheels person. Like I want to like someone in all aspects.
This is a shitty analogy, but when I buy something usually a chose something that I feel is best for me. Pros and cons and I realize a relationship means compromise. Hell when I bought my tv I realized hey for the price it’s something I can afford, it does these things really well and sucks in these things, but it’s the best I can get and I won’t go lower. Shitty analogy yeah, but I’m going to look for a girl that I like the most to my ability.maybe I need to realize I’m over valuing myself?
You doubt every damn thing about yourself. You judge everything you do. You put yourself down in the most bizarre ways. Most people can barely help their own ass with those issues. I don't know, did you just convince yourself that you lack that personal will power/courage that others had to get over those problems?
I convinced myself that I’m a loser.
But I didn’t do a good job because even I don’t believe that.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me.
I use to think I’m ugly, but inside I know that’s not true. I’ll look in the mirror and I’ll be like “yeah this guy is ok”, but just as easily I can find “proof” that I’m wrong. I feel like I’m lacking something, but then I also think that no I’m a cool dude, but when that doesn’t match up I look for examples to prove that was wrong. You guys say you’ve got to love yourself first and plenty of times I do, but that love is on easily broken ground. But I spend s lot of time questioning why I can’t achieve what plenty of dudes do so easily.
