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[hampster]

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[BlueTsunami]

Benji gonna be up in that cooch by dawn

[Rahxephon91]

So to answer Bu’s questions honestly, I don’t know what I want. What I think I want is simply to know if there is room for something to happen with this girl. I’m not looking for an intense relationship or just to bang. Though if the later happen then fine. Basically as lame as it is I just want to know if she likes me enough to be interested in seeing if going further is a possibility.  I have no problem going really slow. I kind of see myself as an emotionally valunerable person and I don’t like that. So I don’t want to jump into anything. I want to be as comfortable with someone as can be.

Maybe being friends would be fine, but I doubt we’d ever be actual friends. I like to go out and get drunk with my friends and geek out. I feel like it would be hard to do that with a girl who turned down your advancements. And honestly like I said I don’t think I approached her as a friend I mean early in this I asked her out. So I feel like it’s obvious I’m interested in her that way.

And in the end I don’t want to be an incel bastard where I hate the girl because she didn’t like me. But I don’t know if I would continue to want to text her or play video games with her. And I don’t know if that’s douchy or not.

Would I be devestated if nothing happen. I mean I would be moody. It would probably play into my idea that I can’t be successful with women. I would be hesitant to talk to women because hey here’s a prime example of something I thought was good and then wasn’t....

...until I guess I go through this again.

And to answer your question fuller she did say yes. Twice. But see when I asked in person I got a “Yes, but I’ll get back to you on my availability”. And she never did which kind of put me in a weird spot. Espically as we interacted and texted more. I mean maybe I’m wrong, but I feel if you look at the text which are pretty much just like when we talk on XBL well into the am, then it comes off like she’s into me. But I don’t know Which is probably why I wanted to crowd source this.

But the thing is also when I try to talk to her at work, plenty of times it’s like she doesn’t want to talk. Only to quickly text on her breaks or when she leaves. I mean she’s said it’s because she is focused on her work but still.

I don’t know man, I’m going to have to eventually just say something but I like to discuss these things beforehand.

[Rahxephon91]

i don’t even understand if filler likes are bad or good.

[BlueTsunami]

filler is a reflection of your inner thoughts

[team filler]

I'm just want to support you know matter what, rahx breh 

[benjipwns]

Benji gonna be up in that cooch by dawn

 

[Bebpo]

Been dead sick for a week or two and had no interest in social. Finally turning back around today and got energy again and I wanna get back to talking with people.

Here's a question, I actually think Atra may be in the best position to give advice for this because he's the most active and in the groove atm in this thread: So there's the people that you read their profile and see something in common or funny to comment on and your first message is that. But when you're messaging someone who has a basic or mostly empty profile (I like food, hikes, dogs, etc...), I never have any idea how to cold open in a message from that because they're giving me nothing to work with. What do you guys open with in initial message/conversation with someone like that?

[Rahxephon91]

Good news. Kind of.

https://imgur.com/a/G4z1jun

[skullstorm]

Bebpo, open with a classic such as "do you like getting choked?" 

spoiler (click to show/hide)

I'm so out of the loop with dating stuff that I'd probably actually use that 

[close]

[tiesto]

Been dead sick for a week or two and had no interest in social. Finally turning back around today and got energy again and I wanna get back to talking with people.

Here's a question, I actually think Atra may be in the best position to give advice for this because he's the most active and in the groove atm in this thread: So there's the people that you read their profile and see something in common or funny to comment on and your first message is that. But when you're messaging someone who has a basic or mostly empty profile (I like food, hikes, dogs, etc...), I never have any idea how to cold open in a message from that because they're giving me nothing to work with. What do you guys open with in initial message/conversation with someone like that?

Just a simple "hey there, how's it going?" And ask a quick conversation starter about what little you can glean off her profile. My girlfriend's profile was pretty bare bones, as was my first message to her (asked her how she got involved in her job field).

[team filler]

Good news. Kind of.

https://imgur.com/a/G4z1jun

give her the ol' hog  , convince her not to move 

  

[Rahxephon91]

Well I won't lie that in terms of dating and women it's pretty clear my issues are confidence, overthinking, and a penchant for negativity. And it's all in my own head/own doing. I know that and most of the bore knows that. It's very hard to beat, because obviously it's easier to be negative. Which is odd because when it comes to things that are outside of me I'm not excactly a negative person. Plenty of my friends have said I have a good energy that attracts people, I am just really bad at at actually harnessing it. 

Honestly most of the time my negative outbursts, even I know are shitty, dumb, and wrong. I do them on here and out there so I can I guess feed that negative  view. There's no doubt that I to a degree think it sucks to be 28 and lacking in experince, but even realistically I know it's not the end of the world. Yet I still feel the need to coddle that mindset.

Now it was said way back to me on this forum "that getting a girl or whatever won't save me" and that's true. I feel happy about my success here which I think I gained from learning from that last tinder thing. I actually think I came off as less insecure and negative with this girl. Which was the lesson to learn from before(thank you Assi even) I mean it was still there, but I was way more conscious of it. So with this I know I still have a long way to go still and I guess thats cool. Still, it feels good that I manged this so far.

So I'm not going to say I won't be shittying up this thread again. But I'd like to say I'm better now then I was before. And thanks to everyone here for putting up with me.

[Bebpo]

Been dead sick for a week or two and had no interest in social. Finally turning back around today and got energy again and I wanna get back to talking with people.

Here's a question, I actually think Atra may be in the best position to give advice for this because he's the most active and in the groove atm in this thread: So there's the people that you read their profile and see something in common or funny to comment on and your first message is that. But when you're messaging someone who has a basic or mostly empty profile (I like food, hikes, dogs, etc...), I never have any idea how to cold open in a message from that because they're giving me nothing to work with. What do you guys open with in initial message/conversation with someone like that?

Just a simple "hey there, how's it going?" And ask a quick conversation starter about what little you can glean off her profile. My girlfriend's profile was pretty bare bones, as was my first message to her (asked her how she got involved in her job field).

Sure, though lots of profiles for women constantly say stuff like "don't just message me with a hi or how's it going", so I try to never do that. Hmmmm. Yeah, I get what you're saying and that's about all I do. Like if they like hiking, a "what are some of your favorite hikes around here?".

[tiesto]

Been dead sick for a week or two and had no interest in social. Finally turning back around today and got energy again and I wanna get back to talking with people.

Here's a question, I actually think Atra may be in the best position to give advice for this because he's the most active and in the groove atm in this thread: So there's the people that you read their profile and see something in common or funny to comment on and your first message is that. But when you're messaging someone who has a basic or mostly empty profile (I like food, hikes, dogs, etc...), I never have any idea how to cold open in a message from that because they're giving me nothing to work with. What do you guys open with in initial message/conversation with someone like that?

Just a simple "hey there, how's it going?" And ask a quick conversation starter about what little you can glean off her profile. My girlfriend's profile was pretty bare bones, as was my first message to her (asked her how she got involved in her job field).

Sure, though lots of profiles for women constantly say stuff like "don't just message me with a hi or how's it going", so I try to never do that. Hmmmm. Yeah, I get what you're saying and that's about all I do. Like if they like hiking, a "what are some of your favorite hikes around here?".

Yup, like "know of any interesting, off the beaten path hiking trails?" would work. Just having decent grammar and not being all "hey sexy how r u" is a good start.

[Huff]

Bebs back in the day I had some success with the “what’s your fav local place for happy hour/dive bars/etc” and then when they reply, send a “perfect meet you there tomorrow at 7”

[Transhuman]

[MMaRsu]

Bebpo, open with a classic such as "do you like getting choked?" 

spoiler (click to show/hide)

I'm so out of the loop with dating stuff that I'd probably actually use that 

[close]

Trust me this shit dont work

[HardcoreRetro]

What if you bring roses?

[MMaRsu]

Still doesn't work   

[HardcoreRetro]

You're supposed to drink it. Not hit em with it.

[Bebpo]

Messaged a few people and matched with a few on bumble yesterday morning.
No one replied (or messaged me on bumble)

I feel like the only way I can online date is to just message mass amounts of people since the return message rate is like <10% for me.

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

If you’re a rich lawyer, you should look into professional matchmaking services.  Usually they screen the men pretty hard but it seems like you would make it through.

[Stro]

Imagine if they found your Bore account in the screening process

[team filler]

imagine if they saw your like count 

[Bebpo]

If you’re a rich lawyer, you should look into professional matchmaking services.  Usually they screen the men pretty hard but it seems like you would make it through.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

I did for a year and it wasn't cheap, they thought I was a great catch and tried to match me around but to no avail and eventually they gave up on me

[close]

Half-joking, I kinda feel like I'm hopeless at this point. It doesn't seem to matter who am, or how I carry myself, no one that I'm attracted to is interested in a short middle aged man with a 9-5. I honestly wonder if looking around for some sort of a life/dating coach like a workout trainer would help. I just feel like I've been doing this wrong my whole life and that's why I'm one of the only ones left single in my group of friends at this age.

The weird thing is about once a year, just doing what I'm doing and being me, I'll match with some awesome attractive person who finds me interesting and likes me, which makes me feel like I'm actually alright at dating. But then it doesn't work out (almost always because they end up with someone else they're dating whose a little taller, and a more "cool" job [dj, videogame designer, actor are all real situations where this happened in the past]) and then for the other 11 months of the year I get no good matches at all and feel like it's not working.

[Stro]

Pay me to be your life coach

[chronovore]

If you’re a rich lawyer, you should look into professional matchmaking services.  Usually they screen the men pretty hard but it seems like you would make it through.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

I did for a year and it wasn't cheap, they thought I was a great catch and tried to match me around but to no avail and eventually they gave up on me

[close]

Half-joking, I kinda feel like I'm hopeless at this point. It doesn't seem to matter who am, or how I carry myself, no one that I'm attracted to is interested in a short middle aged man with a 9-5. I honestly wonder if looking around for some sort of a life/dating coach like a workout trainer would help. I just feel like I've been doing this wrong my whole life and that's why I'm one of the only ones left single in my group of friends at this age.

The weird thing is about once a year, just doing what I'm doing and being me, I'll match with some awesome attractive person who finds me interesting and likes me, which makes me feel like I'm actually alright at dating. But then it doesn't work out (almost always because they end up with someone else they're dating whose a little taller, and a more "cool" job [dj, videogame designer, actor are all real situations where this happened in the past]) and then for the other 11 months of the year I get no good matches at all and feel like it's not working.

 If I recall correctly, that dating coach was a loser and was misrepresenting you left and right. You need to think about trying a different life coach, or dating service, and giving it another go. You’re a sweet guy, very considerate, and I think you haven’t really matched with people that are good around people who are as open as you are. The one girlfriend of yours that I’ve met was clearly self absorbed.   

[Bebpo]

You know, maybe I need to go back to being myself on my dating profiles. At some point I stopped being a nerdy weird guy and started making normalized profiles that would attract more people instead of just a small nerdy subset. Like I have no mention of videogames or Japanese really on my profiles, and obviously that's a big part of my life.

But that small nerdy niche are the only people that when I do match with, I click with. And I used to do a lot better in online dating, which I've just been attributing to the market saturating and being harder to stand out as more attractive guys use it and getting older and less desirable with age each year.

But maybe I did better when I was online dating and met cooler people and had better adventures (even if most didn't work out) when years ago I came off more myself and nerdy. Might be time to redo my profiles.

If you’re a rich lawyer, you should look into professional matchmaking services.  Usually they screen the men pretty hard but it seems like you would make it through.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

I did for a year and it wasn't cheap, they thought I was a great catch and tried to match me around but to no avail and eventually they gave up on me

[close]

Half-joking, I kinda feel like I'm hopeless at this point. It doesn't seem to matter who am, or how I carry myself, no one that I'm attracted to is interested in a short middle aged man with a 9-5. I honestly wonder if looking around for some sort of a life/dating coach like a workout trainer would help. I just feel like I've been doing this wrong my whole life and that's why I'm one of the only ones left single in my group of friends at this age.

The weird thing is about once a year, just doing what I'm doing and being me, I'll match with some awesome attractive person who finds me interesting and likes me, which makes me feel like I'm actually alright at dating. But then it doesn't work out (almost always because they end up with someone else they're dating whose a little taller, and a more "cool" job [dj, videogame designer, actor are all real situations where this happened in the past]) and then for the other 11 months of the year I get no good matches at all and feel like it's not working.

 If I recall correctly, that dating coach was a loser and was misrepresenting you left and right. You need to think about trying a different life coach, or dating service, and giving it another go. You’re a sweet guy, very considerate, and I think you haven’t really matched with people that are good around people who are as open as you are. The one girlfriend of yours that I’ve met was clearly self absorbed.

Well it wasn't a dating coach, just a matchmaker, so it's not like I was getting any real advice on improving myself/dating. I'd be open to using a matchmaker again or having a dating coach but idk how you find a good person.

[brawndolicious]

Try to shut down your filters, whether you're interacting with a friend or an online/real life potential date. At the end of the day, everyone's a picky bitch and it's best to just own that.

It seems most people play a role for a couple months while online dating and then when they catch somebody, they keep it up for another month. It doesn't work out, rinse/repeat. It's a general human weakness.

Of course, as far as I know you're just a weaboo nerd. If you were a 4chan hentai king then my advice would be sorta different.

[Rahxephon91]

I think today went ok.

So after work she messaged me asking me if she knew a place she could work on her resume. Well I did something uncharacteristically and suggested my house.

So she ended up coming to my house to work. We just talked a lot and she stayed from 7:30 till 12:30 so I'm going to assume she had an ok time.

I will say she's too good for me and she's pretty hot.

[team filler]

I was about to like your post until you said "she's too good for me". edit that part out, breh

[Oblivion]

A little while back, I bought a ton of plain t-shirts of various colors (they were on sale). They're super comfortable, and fit very nicely on my frame (imo  ), but one of my good friends/co-workers has been giving me a lot of shit for them cause he thinks they're too boring. I didn't think much of it, but now he's made me feel a little bit self-conscious.

But really, no one who finds you attractive is going to lose interest cause you wear an unremarkable t--shirt right? 

[skullstorm]

Sorry but it's a known fact that only Ed Hardy clothes can get people laid 

[MMaRsu]

Oh hi im back with an ultimate dumb idea

Saw that one girl in the city tonight.. a quick glance was exchanged but that was it. Seeing her made all that old shit resurface. I felt like fuck she's so gorgeous and cute how did I fuck this up so bad what an idiot I was/am

I guess I shouldnt show up on her doorstep with another bouquet of flowers

Just dont do it mmarsu you dumb cunt

[CatsCatsCats]

@MMR

[MMaRsu]

@MMR

This and



this made me cry man

I guess it wasnt a smart move to pull an all nighter last night, im emotional as fuck

[CatsCatsCats]

Go easy on yourself 🥰

[I'm a Puppy!]

Oh hi im back with an ultimate dumb idea

Saw that one girl in the city tonight.. a quick glance was exchanged but that was it. Seeing her made all that old shit resurface. I felt like fuck she's so gorgeous and cute how did I fuck this up so bad what an idiot I was/am

I guess I shouldnt show up on her doorstep with another bouquet of flowers

Just dont do it mmarsu you dumb cunt

is this about the chokey girl?

We all have our own chokey girls in our past.

[Rahxephon91]

I was about to like your post until you said "she's too good for me". edit that part out, breh

I probably shouldn't, but talking to her really made me realize I need to get my shit together. She really is pretty accomplished and has a pretty curvy yet fit body. So I don't know why she likes me, but she does and I guess I should'nt worry about that. She already said I'm too hard on myself.

[toku]

[I'm a Puppy!]

I was about to like your post until you said "she's too good for me". edit that part out, breh

I probably shouldn't, but talking to her really made me realize I need to get my shit together. She really is pretty accomplished and has a pretty curvy yet fit body. So I don't know why she likes me, but she does and I guess I should'nt worry about that. She already said I'm too hard on myself.

There are a few people in life that can see through people's bullshit and get the potential underneath. You hold onto those people. You keep them close. Because they are a treasure. I still am amazed my wife married me, and I couldn't tell you why she did it, but man, I'm greatful she did. Just don't me a drag on them. If they say you're worthy just go with it instead of constantly being like "no I'm not" it's their time and life, if they don't think you're worthy of it, they'll tell you. But if they think you are, just accept it and be appreciative

[I'm a Puppy!]

So let's tell our chokey girl stories:

- Mine? I had a girl I dated only a few times we made out a few times she decided that she just wanted to be friends because it turns out she had a marine that was in boot camp and she had promised to wait for him. I was like "Eh, I have so many friends I don't need another. Let alone one with some sexual tension with. So you decide." Not as bad as writing letters and poems and asking her about being choked. But here's the thing, she and my wife are friends. So every few months I see her and I'm like

To her credit, she's never let what happened between us known or let it make things awkward, but that was a dumb move.

[shosta]

What's the definition of chokey girl, here?

[shosta]

That would make Puppy the chokey girl here.

[CatsCatsCats]

Yeah I’m confused as well. If it’s “girls we got way too into too quickly and embarrassed ourselves” got one or two of those stories

[I'm a Puppy!]

I leave the definition of chokey girl to you. Just feed my schadenfreude.

[shosta]

For the past two years, without fail, every time I've hooked up with a girl, I've taken a gnarly shit in their bathroom right after.

[I'm a Puppy!]

That would make Puppy the chokey girl here.

Well I mean he got friend zoned.. but yeah it's just another one of his humble-brags lol

How's this, I once asked a girl out and she said no and my reply was "Oh...ok..I'll...leave you to your....extra curricular activities."
That whole year I was Mr. Extra Curricular.

[I'm a Puppy!]

For the past two years, without fail, every time I've hooked up with a girl, I've taken a gnarly shit in their bathroom right after.

I've been with a woman who after sheorgasms she has to go pee urgently. Does this only happen when you're with women and not when you're alone? I'm genuinely interested for some reason....

[I'm a Puppy!]

I mean a lot of women have issues with UTI if they don't pee right after sex (it's recommended all women do it, but it's a specific genetic thing for some women.)

Other than that there's the obvious potential pressure put on the bladder.

That I get. But the pooping, riotous. The pooping!

[team filler]

For the past two years, without fail, every time I've hooked up with a girl, I've taken a gnarly shit in their bathroom right after.

a good pegging will loosen up the ol' bowels everytime 

[shosta]

Does this only happen when you're with women and not when you're alone?

Yes, I get constipated when I haven't been on a date in a while.

I'm genuinely interested for some reason....

I told you, I don't live in Sactown anymore!

[Rahxephon91]

Ok well things are going ok.

We are going to hang out on either Wednesday or Thursday and I guess watch a movie.

And Saturday hang out with my friends at some of the more hipster bars we go to. I'm really excited about this because I think I do best in group settings and well these outings are usually fun.

But I won't lie and say my negative thinking has stopped. It's shifted from "does she like me" to "does she still like me".

I wouldn't say I'm dating this girl, but a relationship seems to be booming. It's weird. I wonder when and how I should make a more physical move.

[team filler]

You know what, rahx breh. You've been doing just fine on your own, I think you'll know when to make a move. At the very least, she likes talking to you and spending time alone with you. That's pretty good, breh.

[Rufus]

Want more. 

[nachobro]

But I won't lie and say my negative thinking has stopped. It's shifted from "does she like me" to "does she still like me".

this was me at the beginning stages of every relationship i ever had so you're about at the right spot

[MMaRsu]

Wtf..



 

[BIONIC]

At least she’s honest about it 

[Mupepe]

I'd rejuvenate her sex drive and make her bf watch.