RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011

[Rahxephon91]

Well I asked her. Probably a bad idea. She probably won’t want to talk or hang out with me anymore.

And no we are not dating.


I don't want to to deal with women for a long time.

But I’m sure I will. Opening myself up to new pain and disappointment.

[team filler]

did you have a bad time hanging out and talking to her this whole time? don't be so quick to turn something good in your life into something bad.

often we take the wrong lessons from a life experience. do your best to not let bitterness mold you.

[Rahxephon91]

No I had a great time. I thought something was developing here, because I decided to not think negative. Instead I was right to be negative. I knew it would end bad, but “oh no that was just me overthinking, it’s clearly going ok”. Even today I could feel real chemistry and a feeling that this is someone who could get me. But no that’s not what was happening.

I rather have never meet her then instead experience a another major disappointment.

The lesson here is always expect disappointment because that’s a pretty reliable thought.

The funny thing is when I would talk to my friends in real life.

They would go

“Oh I’m so happy for you”

Every single time. Maybe because they could feel how excited I was. Maybe because they knew I have been looking for awhile. But now that I think about it, it’s pretty condenscening. “oh the little loser may have some actual person who likes him”. Of course in the end they were as wrong as I was.

So now you know even when I try. Even when it sounds good. It isn’t. So don’t even fucking try.

[Nintex]

Slow down trooper. Having ladies in your social circle is actually a plus.
She might not be interested at this time for a number of reasons but relationships can grow.
There's also a chance she might be able to set you up with her friends or offer you advice from a girl perspective if you find someone else.

A guy that hangs around girls, talks to them and has lady friends is more attractive than someone who has cast out everyone who didn't want to fuck him.
In fact you could hit bars, clubs etc. together with no strings attached but not be alone when you do so.

Half the relationships of my friends happened because they were hitting on A.
A wasn't interested, but they remained in touch and at birthday parties/social events that A invited them to they met with others who were interested.

You don't want a dozen of these actively in your 'friend zone' but having 1 or 2 of such friends can get you into places and circles you otherwise wouldn't be introduced to.

[Rahxephon91]

Edit-nvm. I just don't want anymore female friends. I have enough. Yes it's nice to talk to them for thier perspective. None of them have set me up with anyone. It's annoying to constantly just be friends. Espically when you would like to do more. I mean I want to have sex too. But I cant buy it. I can't just do casual stuff. I like it to be with someone I actually like and am comfortable with. I keep just being friends with women. I'm just tired of this crap. I mean I don't want to come off as desperate. But I want someone. But it seems hard to find someone when you're looking. But finding someone means you have to be open to being vulnerable. Every time I've made myself vulnerable I've been hurt. I just don't want to keep doing this.

[Stro]

I don't know if this belongs here or in Fitness thread, but after about 6 months of wanting to move up to adding carrying people around on my carries at the gym, I finally asked a girl who I've seen in there off and on for 2 years and I know she's seen me doing all my carries every time we're both in there so it wouldn't be a completely insane request that I might ask someone to hop on my back for a lap around the gym. Plus she kept coming back into the area where I do my work, so I figured it couldn't hurt to ask.



Immediately got hit with the 


The real humiliation wasn't the rejection, because 1. I wasn't asking about a date or anything and 2. I understand it's really weird to go up to a stranger and ask if you can carry them around the gym 

No, the real humiliation was right after when I continued my set, but she was doing lunges on the walking path, so I had to walk around so as to not seem like I was following her


 


Even worse, I probably can't ask anyone again for another 6 months without getting a reputation. Or I'll have to carry a dude around. 

[BlueTsunami]

I don't know if this belongs here or in Fitness thread, but after about 6 months of wanting to move up to adding carrying people around on my carries at the gym, I finally asked a girl who I've seen in there off and on for 2 years and I know she's seen me doing all my carries every time we're both in there so it wouldn't be a completely insane request that I might ask someone to hop on my back for a lap around the gym. Plus she kept coming back into the area where I do my work, so I figured it couldn't hurt to ask.



Immediately got hit with the 


The real humiliation wasn't the rejection, because 1. I wasn't asking about a date or anything and 2. I understand it's really weird to go up to a stranger and ask if you can carry them around the gym 

No, the real humiliation was right after when I continued my set, but she was doing lunges on the walking path, so I had to walk around so as to not seem like I was following her


 


Even worse, I probably can't ask anyone again for another 6 months without getting a reputation. Or I'll have to carry a dude around. 

Yea this is why I dont play like that at my gym despite some possible threads to pull. Theres women inside and out but only one gym I like thats convenient.

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

I wouldn’t really depend on your girl friends hooking you up.  Most really don’t do that and they can really miss the mark if they do try to set you up.  Hanging out with them makes for some nice dating profile pictures though and also let’s the girl know you’re not some creepy ResetEra type of guy.

I love girl friends, much more than I do my guy friends.  I really don’t give a shit what most guys think about anyway, except for you fine folks here at The Bore.

[Rahxephon91]

Seems to be the same shit to me.

[shosta]

can you tell us specifically how it went down? You're making it sound like you two were on the couch and you leaned over and said "so, I'm confused, need some clarification, are we gonna bone?"

[Rahxephon91]

Oh no. I asked after she left over text. I asked after honestly another solid night of hanging out. One where it was very clear we enjoyed each other’s company. Maybe that’s why I wanted some clarification. I mean we text everyday and it’s good conversation, we have hung out 1 on 1, shared a lot of personal stuff, drank together, ect ect. On paper it seems like she likes me and not simply as a friend. Especially since this heated up after she knew I had that kind of interests. So I was a little drunk and it probably wasnt the coolest move and decided to ask her after she got home and started texting me. All I asked was “What are we doing. Are we kind of dating. I just want to know where I stand”.

It wasn’t cool to ask, but I think it was a fair question. I didn’t mean it in a “you’re going to be my gf” kind of way. I don’t know if I want a gf now either. I was asking just to know what’s going on.

She just said “no she wouldn’t call it that because we are just hanging out and because she plans to move she doesn’t want to lead me on”.

Which is what I thought, but I guess I just wanted to make sure.

I mean I’ve talked to her since and she says we are cool and nothings changed, but it’s easier to say that. It’s probably over.

But I am tired of choosing girls when the timing is bad and/or they want to be friends. I mean this one is probably my fault for not being mature to handle it, but it still pisses me off. Makes me want to keep to myself.

It’s not even just about sex. Simply some sort of touching or intimice is lacking. I’ve kissed a girl like two times. What the fuck is that? Like oh boy I’m cool enough to have females that don’t dislike me, but sex or anything else if off the table. It’s enough to drive someone crazy.

And again I want to avoid any incel shit. Which again is why with this one I made my feelings clear. I guess not 100% intentions clear. But I wasn’t “oh boy if she’s my friend she’ll have sex with me. Oh she doesn’t fuck her”. I’m not on that, this is a bit more nuanced and complex. I rather blame myself then women anyway.

[chronovore]

I've been out of the dating pool for awhile, so take this all with a grain of salt:

Don't deal with emotional topics, such as "So what's going on between us?" or "Are we going out?" in text. Text is too open to misinterpretation. Save it for in person, or at least talk on the phone. There are too many social cues which reside in tone, inflection, body language, facial expression -- all of which are lost in text.

Don't seek to clarify something that is still forming. You've got some kind of connection with her, let it become whatever it's going to become without trying to define it. You're looking for an easy win, an early determination, and that stands more chance of ruining it than letting it gel on its own.

She might know where she wants the relationship to go, or she may be just as up-in-the-air as you are. Give the relationship some space to grow.

Don't ever let a "friend" attend something that you're half-hoping is a date. I cannot believe you let a third wheel attend; that guy is either further on the spectrum than you are, or intentionally messing with your situation.

[Tasty]

This new season is more confusing than Lost Season 5.

s5 was great tho.

[Rahxephon91]

Well whatever, that saga is probably over. At least it got further before I screwed it up.

I wonder if I’ll ever have sex or success with a woman.

[Tasty]

Just do what I did and abandon hope of ever being happy again.

[team filler]

she probably searched your sn and found this thread, rahx 

[Valkyrie]

“What are we” triggers me more than a feminist on tumblr.

[Tasty]

“What are we” triggers me more than a feminist on tumblr.

[Rahxephon91]

“What are we” triggers me more than a feminist on tumblr.

Why?

[FreeNudeLyleLanley]

She just said “no she wouldn’t call it that because we are just hanging out and because she plans to move she doesn’t want to lead me on”.

I could be completely misreading that but that seems to me like the doors still open for something casual.

But yes as others have said, I would recommend not asking big dramatic questions over text even if it feels a lot easier.

[BlueTsunami]

“What are we” triggers me more than a feminist on tumblr.

[Rahxephon91]

I was asking why it would trigger her.

I also don’t know why wanting to know something like that is bad. I’d want you know what’s going on in a relationship.

Also my question was “what are we doing”.

And I guess since the “friendship” ended because of that, she wasn’t worth it anyway.

[Kara]

Lots of guys misconstrue women being friendly with them with being romantically interested in then, viz. "What are we?" dredging up unpleasant memories.

[benjipwns]

Lots of guys misconstrue women being friendly with them with being romantically interested in then, viz. "What are we?" dredging up unpleasant memories.

not just women

*looks away quickly in hopes Kara doesn't catch him staring across the room*

[Rahxephon91]

This is why dating and talking to women is frustrating bullshit. Now I’m the bad guy? Because I tried to come at this person romantically and not as a friend? What the fuck? Wait so I was supposed to be her friend first and then spring on her that actually I was her friend because I wanted to date her? I was told not to do that. What is going on here?

Like what was I supposed to do here?

Again I iniated this by asking her out on a date. Not, hey want to be friends. I told her early in our interactions that I liked her romantaiclly. It was out out there. Intentions were not unclear on my side. I’m wrong for doing that? What the fuck? I’m pretty sure your peoples advice before has been “hey don’t wait” or “hey don’t make your intentions unclear”. Which I did. And now that was wrong. She even made comments that she knew I liked her. She was not unaware. She made fun of how obvious it was even.

But I guess I was miss reading and she was just being friendly. If she was just being friendly how the fuck are you ever supposed to tell if a girl is interested. I guess that’s impossible.

You literally said you had zero interest in being this person's friend Rahx.    If you are concerned with people knowing things perhaps you could have told  her that fact, and then she could have told you to fuck off because what kind of fucking prick befriends someone they have no interest in being friends with?

I was concerned because it already seemed like we were dating.

And a better question would be why would spend time alone with and be in constant communication with someone who’s already made it known they are romantaiclly interested in you if you didn’t share those feelings. That’s fucked up.

Oh but I guess now I’m learning from the bore that the nice guy friend tactic is the one that works.

[CatsCatsCats]

Also, things like that need space to grow organically. A text like that can come across as a demand, roughly “let’s get sexy or stop hanging out with me” and that kind of demanding nature is a turn off. Romance is still a thing, and asking point blank without making any kind of physical move doesn’t really give anyone a chance to enjoy the situation and see if it feels right. Formally requesting a relationship when you haven’t really had something to build on will fall flat because you’re asking to lock in something that hasn’t even started yet

Tough reality: you are not afforded the comfort of knowing it will be received well for you to make a move. Trying to secure that comfort before you do will kill romance.

[shosta]

+1 to catscatscats, it was goin good and then you killed it after a week and a half

[Kara]

Lots of guys misconstrue women being friendly with them with being romantically interested in then, viz. "What are we?" dredging up unpleasant memories.

not just women

*looks away quickly in hopes Kara doesn't catch him staring across the room*

[Kara]

I didn't say you were the bad guy, Rah, I was explaining why a particular phrase might be unpleasant for some people. I'm not terribly familiar with your situation.

[Mupepe]

I've been told by my female friends that they think of a guy as nutless if he has to ask things like that through text.  Asking through text probably killed it more than just asking the question.

[CatsCatsCats]

Yeah, there’s a hyuuge difference between a Chad in person “We doin this? ” and Virgin text “What are we doing?”

[Rahxephon91]

And a better question would be why would spend time alone with and be in constant communication with someone who’s already made it known they are romantaiclly interested in you if you didn’t share those feelings. That’s fucked up.

lol.. what a fucking cunt!  Spending time with you! My god! And talking to you!

THAT BITCH!

Yeah it comes off like that. Sorry, that’s not my intent.

All of you are right and I know that. It would have been better to go with the flow which I already knew was the better plan and was actually doing. Instead of trying to make some sort of delcrations. I guess my overthinking and paranoia really got to me.

I’m just really fucked up and depressed about not specifically this(though  this failure hurts a lot), but my “dating” life in general. I really wish I could just exit it and not have to ever deal with it. It’s too hard for me.

[BlueTsunami]

Point is Rahx, you need to stop looking for a here and now. Godfather esq thunderbolts of instant love or attraction is not whats typical. This stuff develops over weeks and months of getting to know a person if you havent met specifically with the intent of dating.

Also throwing away a friendly relationship is not a good look. Youre drowning in your own misery and letting it influence decisions like this.

[Rahxephon91]

Hmm most people I know in real life life date or start getting physical not too long after both parties know they like each other. It’s not a long game of months of getting to know each other. I don’t know anyone who talked to a girl for months and then was able to date then. Most people say you have to make a move or yknow get friend zoned.

Like two friends in my friend group. They were aware of the girl for maybe a month. Started actually talking to them for a week and then went straight into dating. My best friend went away to the Air Force. A month after basic training he meet and started dating his current long term girlfriend. Even my sister started dating her current bf not soon after meeting them. My Mexican friend said one of the problems was I didn’t let my feelings be known quickly because instead I let them sit and tried to be her friend. My good female friend went straight into the fuck zone once it was clear both parties were intersted in each other. When two people are intersted I don’t know a lot that just wait around..

I don’t know anyone who’s just been friends for a while and then started dating. Most people seem to strike pretty quick. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen though.

But whatever I don’t know. I don’t want to know. I want to cut off my penis and take drugs that make not even care about anything. That’s what I’d like to do. Of course you can’t do these things. But I would be pretty happy if you could.

[Huff]

Does everyone not just get black out with people on dates then end up in bed

That worked for me for years until one just stuck around

[Rahxephon91]

But whatever I don’t know. I don’t want to know. I want to cut off my penis and take drugs that make not even care about anything. That’s what I’d like to do. Of course you can’t do these things. But I would be pretty happy if you could.

Strange how much of a whiny baby you acted like when I suggested growing older might lessen your sex drive.

Eh...thats not really the same thing. I'm talking about not having a penis and not giving a shit about women or sex. You're talking about  maybe just caring less, but still having to deal with incredible loneliness and thoughts of wasted time. You're talking about, oh maybe you'll feel better after realzing you wasted your sexual prime and are now a real adult with the sexual experince of maybe an 18 year old, surrounded by women who probably have well eclipsed that and are unto some real shit. Yes what a nice comfort, but nice try. Miracle cure all is the same thing as mid adult existential crisis. I can't belive someone dosen't see how ludicrous "oh your 30s will be fine" as a comfort is.

(not really strange, you are a whiny fucking baby about literally every single thing)

No, just sex and relationships. Not really whinny about any other subjects. But it's pretty easy for you to say. You're not a near 30 year old sex/relationship loser. No you get to have tons of sex don't you? You've had plenty of relationships haven't you? I wonder what you'd be like if you did'nt have anything like that. Hell, you probably bumbled into positive experiences and from there were able to learn and grow from a base that did'nt reinforce your negatives. Even with your fuck ups, you were probably at least able to look at positives that existed. Such as well "Yeah I didn't have sex this time, but whatever I was able to do it before".

[shosta]

riotous is hella sexy

[CatsCatsCats]

Rahx: Come on, what would you do?

Bore: Get up on my feet,  stop making tired excuses

Rahx: what would you do?

Bore: boy, I know if our Atra can do it, Rahxy you can do it

spoiler (click to show/hide)

https://m.

[close]

[BlueTsunami]

Does everyone not just get black out with people on dates then end up in bed

That worked for me for years until one just stuck around

You gon make Rahx into a daddy with the first blackout bar hookup

[Rahxephon91]

Rahx: Come on, what would you do?

Bore: Get up on my feet,  stop making tired excuses

Rahx: what would you do?

Bore: boy, I know if our Atra can do it, Rahxy you can do it

spoiler (click to show/hide)

https://m.

[close]

To be fair, I thought I was taking the bore's advice in stride. But I guess I don't understand the nuances of friendship/dating. And I guess I'm afraid of vagueness and can't let things be/be chill.

[ToxicAdam]

>But I guess I was miss reading and she was just being friendly. If she was just being friendly how the fuck are you ever supposed to tell if a girl is interested. I guess that’s impossible.

Because they will make a move or talk sex with you.

Even a woman that doesn't like to be forward will eventually crack and will give you obvious signs. They're not monsters that enjoy watching you suffer or struggle.

Why are you still trying?!? I told you this game is not for you. You are not wired to play it and it is negatively impacting your life. "Loneliness" is bullshit anyways, it's just the reward system set up in your head to keep the species going. The male version of baby fever. Compartmentalize that shit and put it on a shelf and recognize for what it is. Lizard brain shit.

[Nabbis]

Even though you handled that rather poorly, the setting that you had with that girl was a pretty shitty one anyway and imo the longer it continued the worse it would have gotten. You need more game for that stuff and even then waiting weeks or months is boring. Just treat it like training and keep trying different stuff until you "get it".

[Rahxephon91]

>

Why are you still trying?!? I told you this game is not for you. You are not wired to play it and it is negatively impacting your life. "Loneliness" is bullshit anyways, it's just the reward system set up in your head to keep the species going. The male version of baby fever. Compartmentalize that shit and put it on a shelf and recognize for what it is. Lizard brain shit.

I don’t think I’m wired for this either, but this seems a bit too nihilistic for me. I also don’t know how you could do this without becoming an even more miserable person. I mean no one wants to be alone. It seems as implausible as a drug that makes you not want to care. Which yeah I would take, but it doesn’t exist and it’s not something I actually want. I mean at the end of the day I’m a social person and like people, want to mak them happy/please them. I’m just easily hurt and confused by them.

And while right now I want to just isolate myself and not deal with anything or meet any women. I can only do that for so long before I try again and yeah probably fail. I mean what I’m most afraid of is becoming more of a bitter and hopeless person. It seems impossible.

[Rahxephon91]

But on the flip side, if you have any material/books to read on how to live alone and be happy I’d like to read them. Even I realize this is becoming a lost cause.

[team filler]

Are you a pleaser, rahx? That will need to change if you want your dating life to get better. Always being concerned about what she wants is not a good move. Reason being, is that women are often unsure about what they want until they are getting it. You can ask a girl if it's okay to kiss her, or you can decide you want a kiss and go for it. Asking and getting told "no", does not mean you would get a "no" had you just gone for it. In the moment she may decide to kiss you back and feel good about it afterwards. You may also get shutdown going for a kiss and that's completely fine. Being turned down while going for a kiss can be for any number of reasons, all of which may have nothing to do with you. Could be something as silly as her feeling self-conscious about her breath, because she ate a chili dog with hella onions before meeting up with you.

When taking her out to eat somewhere. Don't concern yourself with what she wants to eat and where she wants to go.  Decide what you feel like eating and where you want to go. Being decisive and knowing what you want will get you where you want to be, being a pleaser will not.

[ToxicAdam]

I mean at the end of the day I’m a social person and like people, want to mak them happy/please them. I’m just easily hurt and confused by them.

Nah, this is bullshit.

If what you said here is true, you'd be thrilled that she wanted to be your friend. You'd be thrilled that a new person wants to get to know you and you can bounce ideas off of.

But instead, you're frustrated. Because you're not going to get your dick sucked or be able to release this burden you've put on yourself. She's not a person to you, or a new opportunity to expand your social circle, but a thing you need to stick your dick into.

[Rahxephon91]

So how are you supposed to approach every romantic potential?

As a friend. Just be their friend and that’s it.

I’ve been told here that’s wrong. Like wtf do you want from me.

And you’re incredibly wrong toxicadam. I did not see her as a thing and if you read my posts you would see sex was not my main goal if at all and at every point I was worried how I came off to her as to not put pressure we.

I don’t understand word anyone is supposed to do here. My whole life I’ve just tried to be friends with girls and it’s fine, but if you try to move past that even most women say it’s because you positioned yourself as a friends not a romantic possibility. Now you are calling me a price of shit because I didn’t do that this time and am not happy with the result. Not only that you’re telling me oh it’s because you should have been her friend. Like wtf do you people want from me. Like Christ none of this makes sense anymore.

[Rahxephon91]

Or are you saying ToxicAdam that “well she doesn’t like you like that and you tried so you should be ok with being friends”.

Well have the reason I’m bothered by this is because usually they doesn’t work. In my experience most women don’t want to be friends with someone who had romantic interests in them. My Mexican friend from last year had a sit down and explained everything to me as to why we couldn’t work(guess what a lot of it was because I never made a move and just tired to be her friend) and it was fine. I was fine with being friends and happy to get that past me. But in the end she didn’t treat me like a friend and decided to just end the friendship once she find a boyfriend she actually liked.

It was whatever. I’m happy she’s happy and I wish her no ill feelings.

I don’t with this one ill feelings either, but was hoping to avoid a similar situation where I just become a friend and never say anything so I said it early.  I’m fine being friends, but worried that now this are too awkward and she’s pushed away. Which is also what can happen a friend tells a friend they have interests in them. A girl can feel like she’s leading you on just by doing anything. Even if that’s not how the guy feels. I don’t feel like she was leading me on, but I did feel like we had a connection. Which is really why I wanted to know so I knew what has going on and knew how to handle it. Which ironically made it seem like I couldn’t handle it.

But it has nothing to do with treating her like a thing or just wanting sex like your trying to say. I don’t want to have sex with people I don’t feel comfortable with or don’t like.

But I don’t understand what you bore members want me to do. Sometimes it’s you gotta just ask out women and not positioned yourself as a friend. Now it’s you gotta be friends with them. Sometimes it’s “whatever move unto the next one”. Now it’s oh you’re a douche for not wanting to be friends. What is it?

No I don’t think I should be thrilled that again another women just wants to be friends. Thrilled is not the word to use. I shouldn’t be upset, no but it doesn’t help my “burden” as you say.  But I already know that’s in my insecurity and no one else’s.

[BlueTsunami]

But on the flip side, if you have any material/books to read on how to live alone and be happy I’d like to read them. Even I realize this is becoming a lost cause.

You need a hobby. And I don't mean that in something to pass the time. Something to pour yourself into, creatively, that will develop a good sense of self worth.

[Rahxephon91]

Yeah how about “serial killer”.

[BlueTsunami]

So it... begins

[Rahxephon91]

So it... begins

I did watch The House that Jack Built Recently....



It wasn’t very good. Room for improvement.

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

I think giving advice to Rahxephon is meaningless because we’re not getting the full story.  Not saying he’s a liar, rather that it’s all based on a very slanted and stilted perspective.  People have been giving advice for five years or more now but we’re still at square one.  I still think his brain has been effectively rewired thanks to a huge amount of porn, perhaps essentially losing the ability to socialize with women entirely.  It’s like the Harlow experiments: https://www.psychologynoteshq.com/psychological-studies-harlows-monkey/

Also this: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC285801/pdf/pnas00159-0105.pdf

[Rahxephon91]

Maybe I would be socially healthy if I fucked high class escorts too.

Maybe I would be positive about sex if I bought good sex experiences.

But I don’t know what the trick to being socialized with women would be beyond...I don’t know treat them like people. I treat women just like I would treat anyone else. I have female friends and socialize with plenty of women at my work place. I’m not intersted in them so there’s no awkwardness/problem. No reason to overthink any interactions.


Also what would porn have to do with anything? Porn isn’t real and at no point have I ever thought what goes in porn is an accurate depiction of women. You make it sound like I have so view of women that is basically either they are all whores or something when I don’t.

Also what would I have to withhold from this story? This is the excaxtly what happen. I mean I showed you the texts and everything. I haven’t shyer away from anything negative.

I haven’t even tried to be that antagonistic here either. I’ve agreed with and even taken plenty of advice and critiques here. Though I have an issue with some.

Maybe you should just ban me.

[Kara]

We process failure the same we process grief, Rah. (Humans are dumb, something to keep in mind whenever someone appeals to the existence of a sophisticated human nature.)

It's OK to feel how you feel right now, but you're going to have to find a better way to channel your grief. Talking about becoming an unknown subject, engaging with people who want to dunk on you even though it makes them look like mega dorks, and writing screeds aren't getting it done.

[FreeNudeLyleLanley]

I don't think whatever you had going with that woman was a total failure. You're, probably, not going to hook up with her or anything like that but you seemingly had a woman interested in you for a while there. This can be taken as a good experience to learn from. Next time tell your friend to fuck off and get his video games another time and then make a move on the girl. Give her some sign that you're romantically/sexually interested in her and for God's sake no grandiose texts.

[tiesto]

But on the flip side, if you have any material/books to read on how to live alone and be happy I’d like to read them. Even I realize this is becoming a lost cause.

Why not go into the priesthood?

[Rahxephon91]

That was actually a serious idea I had coming out of high school and failing college the first time. I’ve had a lot of religious teaching during my life because I went to religious schools. But my fathers death kind of destroyed my faith definitively  so that’s not really something I’d want to involve myself with.

I mean this had nothing to do with relationships I or anything. Back then when it was a real idea I didn’t care about that stuff. I was like 20, 21. I still felt like those were to things that would eventually happen and I was pretty happy. A fact a friend brought up recently.

[brawndolicious]

But I don’t know what the trick to being socialized with women would be beyond...I don’t know treat them like people. I treat women just like I would treat anyone else. I have female friends and socialize with plenty of women at my work place. I’m not intersted in them so there’s no awkwardness/problem. No reason to overthink any interactions.

To be honest, that might be the problem. Yeah you say you overthink but is that because you're trying to gather positive yelp reviews or because you want a repeat customer? Needing the mood and schedule to be declared as though you don't want to waste your time on a window-shopper is kind of fucked.

[Valkyrie]

Rahx, this is me giving you a honest POV. Not trying to be mean.

You expect too much, too soon. You seem to have very little respect for the female gender, like not taking her feelings (or possible the lack of) into consideration before deciding to make things extremely awkward.

You literally said you thought she was interested because she wore her hair down one day, and sat next to you when you two were gaming together. Like what??? Where was she supposed to sit then, across the room from you?

You come off as those Gaf dudes who are like “Omg this girl on the bus looked at me today, does she like me? Should I ask her out?”.

What on earth made you think you were dating? Did she kiss you? Did you fuck? Have you been ACTUALLY flirting together? Not from what we’ve seen on here. At all. It’s been 100% platonic from what you’ve told us.

I’d be real worried if I was hanging out with a friend and he thought I was interested in more than being friends only based off of how I wore my hair that day. She clearly hasn’t indicated wanting anything more, you’ve just been wishfully seeing things.

Your approach to relationships, girls and dating seems very elementary school-like. You act like girls owe you. They don’t owe you shit, just because you’re being polite to them. Frankly, it’s terrifying seeing how aggressive and angry you become after being rejected. And don’t give me the “but I always get rejected” bullshit. You look for things that really aren’t there, then blame females when they didn’t see things the same way as you did.

For the 100th time, you need to work on yourself before anything. You don’t seem fit to be in a relationship at all until you can realize that dating someone won’t magically make you happy if you hate yourself, and honestly, until you stop hating women for not being interested. Work on your aggression too, please. It’s worrying how unstable you come off as sometimes.