Author Topic: Depression/mental health thread  (Read 21255 times)

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213372bu

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #60 on: October 22, 2017, 08:59:07 PM »
Just for the record: I'm on antidepressants (hence asking in the sex thread), and today I've been crying all fucking day. Nose is sore from wiping it because I keep breaking out crying.

When does this get better? I'm already on week 4 nearly. I really shouldn't be having these emotional outbursts of the dam breaking at 100mg, right?
With anti-depressants it could be a number of things.

 Make sure you're meeting with your psychiatrist regularly.

 Call your psychiatrist if they gave you a number where you can reach them at any time.

chronovore

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #61 on: October 22, 2017, 09:00:40 PM »
If anyone is on their own, and want to talk/vent can always PM me.

Been diagnosed with mdd and gad, im not forthcoming about sharing my experiences as to why, but Im always willing to lend an ear. I'm not entirely sure if anyone here has yet managed to connect to the dots and figure out who I am on GAF, but regardless im not a bad person. :)

If you want a fresh start, TheBore is your place. It's likely preferred that you come in with fresh eyes and a clean bill, rather than drag in baggage from NeoGAF times. You are reborn.
:rejoice

On the other hand, shitting up TheBore and then repeatedly trying to sneak back under new aliases is frowned upon.

Cindi Mayweather

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #62 on: October 22, 2017, 09:02:16 PM »
Feel better TIMU :(

Cryo

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #63 on: October 22, 2017, 09:02:56 PM »
Just for the record: I'm on antidepressants (hence asking in the sex thread), and today I've been crying all fucking day. Nose is sore from wiping it because I keep breaking out crying.

When does this get better? I'm already on week 4 nearly. I really shouldn't be having these emotional outbursts of the dam breaking at 100mg, right?
Do you mind elaborating on which one you're on? Also, were you prone to experiencing these prior to taking them? My experience with them is that these typically help regulate the low (and high) peaks of emotions, but if you're still experiencing this 4 weeks in there may be a need to up the dosage or switch to a different drug. 

BlueTsunami

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #64 on: October 22, 2017, 09:06:21 PM »
I think I've been dealing with this since my teenage years. Never diagnosed. I've just chalked it up as me tipping into the melancholic spectrum. I'm already 32, guess I'll ride this shit out.
:9

hungrynoob

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #65 on: October 22, 2017, 09:17:38 PM »
If anyone is on their own, and want to talk/vent can always PM me.

Been diagnosed with mdd and gad, im not forthcoming about sharing my experiences as to why, but Im always willing to lend an ear. I'm not entirely sure if anyone here has yet managed to connect to the dots and figure out who I am on GAF, but regardless im not a bad person. :)

If you want a fresh start, TheBore is your place. It's likely preferred that you come in with fresh eyes and a clean bill, rather than drag in baggage from NeoGAF times. You are reborn.
:rejoice

On the other hand, shitting up TheBore and then repeatedly trying to sneak back under new aliases is frowned upon.

Nah, if people looked hard enough they could connect my name here to my GAF account, im not exactly hiding, Ive just been switching to this name overtime (not just on here), as I kinda prefer this name.

Thanks all the same tho.  :)

Prinny_Dood

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #66 on: October 22, 2017, 09:34:07 PM »
My depression and anxiety have really cranked up the past year or so, most of it is caused by my retail job. I can't seem to deal with the customers anymore, and the employees are really starting to anger me. I have to force myself to go to work and stay my whole shift.  I can't help but think the best thing to do is quit, especially with how shitty I act and feel after work. Only problem is that I need my insurance. I'm not having much luck finding a new job, either.

 I'm currently meeting with a therapist to try and work out a plan to deal with this.

Tasty Meat

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #67 on: October 22, 2017, 09:36:51 PM »
Just for the record: I'm on antidepressants (hence asking in the sex thread), and today I've been crying all fucking day. Nose is sore from wiping it because I keep breaking out crying.

When does this get better? I'm already on week 4 nearly. I really shouldn't be having these emotional outbursts of the dam breaking at 100mg, right?

Damn, you're taking GAF's shutdown too hard breh.
🌈

thisismyusername

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #68 on: October 22, 2017, 10:10:46 PM »
Just for the record: I'm on antidepressants (hence asking in the sex thread), and today I've been crying all fucking day. Nose is sore from wiping it because I keep breaking out crying.

When does this get better? I'm already on week 4 nearly. I really shouldn't be having these emotional outbursts of the dam breaking at 100mg, right?
Do you mind elaborating on which one you're on? Also, were you prone to experiencing these prior to taking them? My experience with them is that these typically help regulate the low (and high) peaks of emotions, but if you're still experiencing this 4 weeks in there may be a need to up the dosage or switch to a different drug.

Zoloft. 50mg tabs, they went 25->50->75->100 or so by like 25/75 two days and then upping. I mean I'd break down crying now and then, but nothing on this level.

Just for the record: I'm on antidepressants (hence asking in the sex thread), and today I've been crying all fucking day. Nose is sore from wiping it because I keep breaking out crying.

When does this get better? I'm already on week 4 nearly. I really shouldn't be having these emotional outbursts of the dam breaking at 100mg, right?

Damn, you're taking GAF's shutdown too hard breh.

Hah, that certainly ain't it.

hungrynoob

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #69 on: October 22, 2017, 10:27:32 PM »
Just a shot in the dark, but have you been feeling numb during your depression off the ssri's? It could be the SSRI's working thats maybe made you feel unnumb and pent up emotion over how youre feeling that, probably at the time, you knew, should make you feel sad but were just past the point of caring to the point it was easier to brush off - has come flooding out...

If not, speak to your doctor about distress caused by the ssris as, if these are the first kind of anti-depressants youve taken, then there are others they can prescribe and try, as not everyone is the same.

thisismyusername

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #70 on: October 22, 2017, 10:32:28 PM »
Kinda, sorta... mostly just apathetic. When I started on Zoloft, I had that and an upbeat of energy. Now it's just kinda fatigue-y and really no care.

hungrynoob

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #71 on: October 22, 2017, 10:37:37 PM »
Kinda, sorta... mostly just apathetic. When I started on Zoloft, I had that and an upbeat of energy. Now it's just kinda fatigue-y and really no care.

I think I was on zoloft for about 8 weeks. Only antidepresent ive done so not talking from a well of experience here, but zoloft kinda had the opposite/same effect for me, after 4 weeks I had a kinda breakthrough moment where life seemed more colourful and happy with hope than anything I had experienced to date, then after that it made me a zombie, which is why I stopped.

If its not plausible its pent up emotion, back to the dr asap, tell them your concerns and its effect, he will judge appropriately - sometimes some meds just dont work for some people.

213372bu

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #72 on: October 22, 2017, 10:47:42 PM »
 Entering the 5th week you should be clear of some of the initial side effects, but like I said, I'd drop a call even if it isn't severe.

 People can react differently to different SSRIs... I mean it could really be a number of things.

 Fatigue is very common though, even for people who take SSRIs long-term.
--
 Also, just to share, I've been diagnosed with mdd and anxiety for a while now, but I've been good at bettering my self and guiding myself out.

 In my case it's not really case of bad habits, but mostly inherited & focusing on a lot of negative shit that normally would pass over people's radars.

 I've been doing good, but my closer friends have been either moving further out or getting busier. Lots of shit is currently going on my personal life and having to shoulder it all on my own has been pretty terrible on me these past few months.

 I can distract myself, go and workout, I'm currently pretty comfortable with myself etc. but I find myself entering anxiety loops and feeling severely depressed when I have some free time, and unfortunately I've been having a lot lately. :lol I try making myself busy by making espresso more, working out more, going out more, or chatting with y'all, but the second I'm free it's just instantly and totally south from there.

 Not really sure what to do, but I'm going to try and stay off SSRIs, not that there's anything wrong with them... I personally know of quite a few friends/family who take them w/ little to no side effects.

 I should probably jump back into dating  :doge

KissVibes

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #73 on: October 22, 2017, 10:50:07 PM »
Been thinking a lot about killing myself again. Just turned 25 and things largely seem pointless. Not quite sure what to do to get ďright.Ē
REAL

hungrynoob

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #74 on: October 22, 2017, 10:58:29 PM »
Entering the 5th week you should be clear of some of the initial side effects, but like I said, I'd drop a call even if it isn't severe.

 People can react differently to different SSRIs... I mean it could really be a number of things.

 Fatigue is very common though, even for people who take SSRIs long-term.
--
 Also, just to share, I've been diagnosed with mdd and anxiety for a while now, but I've been good at bettering my self and guiding myself out.

 In my case it's not really case of bad habits, but mostly inherited & focusing on a lot of negative shit that normally would pass over people's radars.

 I've been doing good, but my closer friends have been either moving further out or getting busier. Lots of shit is currently going on my personal life and having to shoulder it all on my own has been pretty terrible on me these past few months.

 I can distract myself, go and workout, I'm currently pretty comfortable with myself etc. but I find myself entering anxiety loops and feeling severely depressed when I have some free time, and unfortunately I've been having a lot lately. :lol I try making myself busy by making espresso more, working out more, going out more, or chatting with y'all, but the second I'm free it's just instantly and totally south from there.

 Not really sure what to do, but I'm going to try and stay off SSRIs, not that there's anything wrong with them... I personally know of quite a few friends/family who take them w/ little to no side effects.

 I should probably jump back into dating  :doge

Yeah silly i missed out give it a bit more time. But that was my conclusion myself, to come off them, to prevent the fatigue. I think I read somewhere as well though, that SSRIs are only half as effective alone compared to in therapy (specifically CBT), might be worth asking your doc if those services are available.

also, 1v1 lockout?

thisismyusername

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #75 on: October 22, 2017, 11:00:51 PM »
I'll be seeing the Psych on Friday, so I'll just shoulder through it and if it gets worse I'll know. I'm about to take the next dose in an hour and then pass out. Hopefully a new day will ease the sting of everything going on in my life that just caused the outburst.

hungrynoob

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #76 on: October 22, 2017, 11:05:34 PM »
Been thinking a lot about killing myself again. Just turned 25 and things largely seem pointless. Not quite sure what to do to get ďright.Ē

Sorry dislike having no multiquote on here.


What way you think about it? Like a 'what if' kinda way or is it more evolved than that? The fact you said things seem pointless feels like you haven't quite gave up looking yet. The answer will not come quickly, but slowly over time. And it isnt really an answer, but more so you discovering who you are exactly, what you want, and how you can find it within yourself to get that. Have you reached out to anyone in your personal life for help professional or personal.

hungrynoob

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #77 on: October 22, 2017, 11:08:04 PM »
I'll be seeing the Psych on Friday, so I'll just shoulder through it and if it gets worse I'll know. I'm about to take the next dose in an hour and then pass out. Hopefully a new day will ease the sting of everything going on in my life that just caused the outburst.

Sorry to intrude, but there is something going on in your life that could have caused the outburst? or did i read that wrong?

thisismyusername

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #78 on: October 22, 2017, 11:22:44 PM »
I'll be seeing the Psych on Friday, so I'll just shoulder through it and if it gets worse I'll know. I'm about to take the next dose in an hour and then pass out. Hopefully a new day will ease the sting of everything going on in my life that just caused the outburst.

Sorry to intrude, but there is something going on in your life that could have caused the outburst? or did i read that wrong?

Many, many things going on in my life right now. Just feeling pretty worthless, way more so than usual.

hungrynoob

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #79 on: October 22, 2017, 11:39:06 PM »
I'll be seeing the Psych on Friday, so I'll just shoulder through it and if it gets worse I'll know. I'm about to take the next dose in an hour and then pass out. Hopefully a new day will ease the sting of everything going on in my life that just caused the outburst.

Sorry to intrude, but there is something going on in your life that could have caused the outburst? or did i read that wrong?

Many, many things going on in my life right now. Just feeling pretty worthless, way more so than usual.

Well I cant begin to know the issues youre struggling with. Try and keep in mind this isnt it, life will change and so will you, feeling worthless is a value youre placing on yourself. But youre not worthless, you just havent found your place yet.

thisismyusername

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #80 on: October 22, 2017, 11:41:51 PM »
That's the problem though: I'm nearly at the halfway mark of my life and haven't found it while others seem to have found it. To be fair, a major major event happened in my teens that basically upended my life and I'm still scrambling around on that trying to find footing.

There's other issues included in that but that's the gist.

hungrynoob

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #81 on: October 23, 2017, 12:15:29 AM »
That's the problem though: I'm nearly at the halfway mark of my life and haven't found it while others seem to have found it. To be fair, a major major event happened in my teens that basically upended my life and I'm still scrambling around on that trying to find footing.

There's other issues included in that but that's the gist.

I'm about to turn 27 and while I havent found it yet, every month over my ups and downs, im starting to see more hope every so often. I have moe epiphanies and greater appreciations for the things around me, it stimulates me socially and professionally and I actually start seeking to better myself compared to when I could stare at a ceiling for 12 hours. I know there is a lot of time passed that could have been spent living my life and pursuing "it". But the thing is, its all a journey, and just because others around us seem to be peaking at our age, doesnt mean we will. I used to think about how much time was lost to the bs in my head, and i still lose time dont get me wrong, but I also think that. Ive been alive for almost 27 years, and i think back to EVERYTHING ive done in my life, every experience and encounter, and I realise, as shit as it has been, it has been a fucking lot.

And while I cant be reborn with the same memories I have now as a 5 year old back in '95, I at least know that theres a very good chance my life expectancy will give me another 27 years minimum to explore what it means to be me. Remember expectations of others dont need to be the same expectations you should hold of yourself.

Cryo

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #82 on: October 23, 2017, 12:26:37 AM »
That's the problem though: I'm nearly at the halfway mark of my life and haven't found it while others seem to have found it. To be fair, a major major event happened in my teens that basically upended my life and I'm still scrambling around on that trying to find footing.

There's other issues included in that but that's the gist.

I'm about to turn 27 and while I havent found it yet, every month over my ups and downs, im starting to see more hope every so often. I have moe epiphanies and greater appreciations for the things around me, it stimulates me socially and professionally and I actually start seeking to better myself compared to when I could stare at a ceiling for 12 hours. I know there is a lot of time passed that could have been spent living my life and pursuing "it". But the thing is, its all a journey, and just because others around us seem to be peaking at our age, doesnt mean we will. I used to think about how much time was lost to the bs in my head, and i still lose time dont get me wrong, but I also think that. Ive been alive for almost 27 years, and i think back to EVERYTHING ive done in my life, every experience and encounter, and I realise, as shit as it has been, it has been a fucking lot.

And while I cant be reborn with the same memories I have now as a 5 year old back in '95, I at least know that theres a very good chance my life expectancy will give me another 27 years minimum to explore what it means to be me. Remember expectations of others dont need to be the same expectations you should hold of yourself.
I can relate to this 100%. I was circling the drain and doing the minimum while my friends continued to progress in life for many years. Didn't bother seeking help until the beginning of last year, and it's been a hell of a two year journey for me between therapy and psychiatry and learning to understand why and when my brain begins it's descent into sadness or anciety.

It's never too late to find your way back to the path you want to be on.

Rahxephon91

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #83 on: October 23, 2017, 12:57:05 AM »
I'm also currently feeling much more positive about life.

Cryo

  • Member
Re: Depression thread
« Reply #84 on: October 23, 2017, 01:08:04 AM »
I'm also currently feeling much more positive about life.
I'm pretty familiar with your post history via creeping lurking, and I'm really glad to hear you say that.

Rahxephon91

  • Senior Member
Re: Depression thread
« Reply #85 on: October 23, 2017, 01:10:59 AM »
While I hate to be cynical and also sound like a whako. My trip and well use of fun substances in Minneapolis was somewhat eye opening. I've never had an experience where I had so much fun and felt so comfortable with myself. It was really eye opening and because of it I've been trying to think far more positive about everything. I mean there's more I should probably do, but I do feel better right now.

I mean I don't want to advocate and say "go do Molly, but it did lead to a very positive experience for me". I mean it's not a quick fix or something, but it has lead to more positive thoughts.

Great Rumbler

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #86 on: October 23, 2017, 01:12:40 AM »
As a The Bore admin I cannot condone the use of illicit substances, however it is good to hear that things are going better for you.
dog

Dantizzinel

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #87 on: October 23, 2017, 01:12:53 AM »
Wow, GAF closing down did a number on you people.

spoiler (click to show/hide)
Get better soon, brehs and hang in there.

Good on you, Rahx!
\m/

thisismyusername

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #88 on: October 23, 2017, 04:20:14 AM »
Yeah, I know all that. It's more a mixture of everything and just not caring at this point that is basically nosediving my plane. I can pull it up now and then but it just keeps sinking.

I'm feeling slightly better today, but I keep having sleeping problems. I probably am gonna change meds and get one that lets me actually sleep.

Huff

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #89 on: October 23, 2017, 04:28:01 AM »
MDMA is actively being studied in depression and other psychiatric disorders  :)

dur

Sophie

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #90 on: October 23, 2017, 04:29:30 AM »
Yeah, I know all that. It's more a mixture of everything and just not caring at this point that is basically nosediving my plane. I can pull it up now and then but it just keeps sinking.

I'm feeling slightly better today, but I keep having sleeping problems. I probably am gonna change meds and get one that lets me actually sleep.
Like someone else said, might wanna talk to your doctor about your meds. It shouldn't be that bad after 4 weeks, although I believe some SSRI take more than 4 weeks for a full effect. Mine took 4ish weeks, and they were 4 weeks of hell. Then I just turned into an indifferent robot, with insomnia (from the meds). Doc gave me Remeron S which knocked me out completely. Just whatever you do, don't quit the med on your own without talking to your doctor.

thisismyusername

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #91 on: October 23, 2017, 04:42:50 AM »
Yeah, I know about MDMA/Ketamine. If it wasn't honestly $500 a pop for ten days of relief and it still being "in trials," I'd probably take it.

Yeah, I know all that. It's more a mixture of everything and just not caring at this point that is basically nosediving my plane. I can pull it up now and then but it just keeps sinking.

I'm feeling slightly better today, but I keep having sleeping problems. I probably am gonna change meds and get one that lets me actually sleep.
Like someone else said, might wanna talk to your doctor about your meds. It shouldn't be that bad after 4 weeks, although I believe some SSRI take more than 4 weeks for a full effect. Mine took 4ish weeks, and they were 4 weeks of hell. Then I just turned into an indifferent robot, with insomnia (from the meds). Doc gave me Remeron S which knocked me out completely. Just whatever you do, don't quit the med on your own without talking to your doctor.

Oh, I definitely am gonna talk. I'm tired of this 4 hours of sleep a pop.
« Last Edit: October 23, 2017, 04:52:00 AM by thisismyusername »

benjipwns

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #92 on: October 23, 2017, 05:20:45 AM »
I'll be seeing the Psych on Friday, so I'll just shoulder through it and if it gets worse I'll know. I'm about to take the next dose in an hour and then pass out. Hopefully a new day will ease the sting of everything going on in my life that just caused the outburst.
just because you've got an appointment already i'd say this is worth trying unless it's really an emergency, especially since you're stepped up to the dosage now and will have a week at that

i say that because drugs have a different effect for everyone but even the standard effect of zoloft really shouldn't be sudden and mood swinging like this, especially stepped up over a four week period...i'm high tolerance for practically everything so it took a long time, but zoloft mainly was eventually stabilizing at a level before it eventually dropped off in effectiveness, it was never activating (none of which pairings with activators worked which is only reason i dropped it (i have no idea off hand what level i got up to in terms of dosage...400mg?))

i've taken so many LEGALLY PROSCRIBED PER GOVERNMENT RULES drugs and have such a high tolerance i can never remember what the uptake periods and times for dosages are supposed to be i have to look them up, but i think zoloft is after four weeks, so this week is like the one where you should start to notice it more

Doc gave me Remeron S which knocked me out completely.
i hate this and love this, even half dosage, it's can be for so long i can get sore from being locked in a position while asleep, and feel like shit after waking up because it'll knock me out for so long i'm out of cycle on my other meds

and the dehydration doesn't make the feeling like shit when i wake up any better that's for sure, also i don't think it actually does anything for my mood that i can tell

but other than all that, highly recommended, they should proscribe it to people who want a sleep aid if they don't

Sophie

  • Senior Member
Re: Depression thread
« Reply #93 on: October 23, 2017, 05:31:55 AM »
Yeah it was very strong. First time I took it, I got knocked out for 17 hours. Usually I had to plan when to take it, because it was so strong, I was drugged down if I tried to force myself to stay awake while it was in my system. I remember trying to eat dinner once a few hours after, and I couldn't hold my fork. But honestly better than insomnia from the SSRI which resulted in an ER/hospital trip.

seagrams hotsauce

  • Senior Member
Re: Depression thread
« Reply #94 on: October 23, 2017, 11:04:52 AM »
While I hate to be cynical and also sound like a whako. My trip and well use of fun substances in Minneapolis was somewhat eye opening. I've never had an experience where I had so much fun and felt so comfortable with myself. It was really eye opening and because of it I've been trying to think far more positive about everything. I mean there's more I should probably do, but I do feel better right now.

I mean I don't want to advocate and say "go do Molly, but it did lead to a very positive experience for me". I mean it's not a quick fix or something, but it has lead to more positive thoughts.

I'm glad man. You seem like a genuinely good dude and I hope you keep doing better.

thisismyusername

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #95 on: October 23, 2017, 11:12:40 PM »
I'll be seeing the Psych on Friday, so I'll just shoulder through it and if it gets worse I'll know. I'm about to take the next dose in an hour and then pass out. Hopefully a new day will ease the sting of everything going on in my life that just caused the outburst.
just because you've got an appointment already i'd say this is worth trying unless it's really an emergency, especially since you're stepped up to the dosage now and will have a week at that

i say that because drugs have a different effect for everyone but even the standard effect of zoloft really shouldn't be sudden and mood swinging like this, especially stepped up over a four week period...i'm high tolerance for practically everything so it took a long time, but zoloft mainly was eventually stabilizing at a level before it eventually dropped off in effectiveness, it was never activating (none of which pairings with activators worked which is only reason i dropped it (i have no idea off hand what level i got up to in terms of dosage...400mg?))

i've taken so many LEGALLY PROSCRIBED PER GOVERNMENT RULES drugs and have such a high tolerance i can never remember what the uptake periods and times for dosages are supposed to be i have to look them up, but i think zoloft is after four weeks, so this week is like the one where you should start to notice it more

The dosage is 2 weeks, actually. But outside of a few crying fits (that were over pretty quickly, like 2-5 mins) today, I actually got some sleep. Maybe it's starting to work. IDK. My depression is pretty damn deep, so I'm not sure these will work I'm one of the rare few that probably needs Ketmine or something to reset it.

agrajag

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #96 on: October 23, 2017, 11:46:02 PM »
I had this weird thing a couple of weeks ago where I looked up a couple of reaction videos on youtube to Immortal Technique's Dance With The Devil, and I started crying. The imagery of the dude raping his own mom was too much. And I haven't cried in more than a decade because I'm so emotionally stunted. Fuck.

hungrynoob

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #97 on: October 24, 2017, 02:03:31 AM »
I'll be seeing the Psych on Friday, so I'll just shoulder through it and if it gets worse I'll know. I'm about to take the next dose in an hour and then pass out. Hopefully a new day will ease the sting of everything going on in my life that just caused the outburst.
just because you've got an appointment already i'd say this is worth trying unless it's really an emergency, especially since you're stepped up to the dosage now and will have a week at that

i say that because drugs have a different effect for everyone but even the standard effect of zoloft really shouldn't be sudden and mood swinging like this, especially stepped up over a four week period...i'm high tolerance for practically everything so it took a long time, but zoloft mainly was eventually stabilizing at a level before it eventually dropped off in effectiveness, it was never activating (none of which pairings with activators worked which is only reason i dropped it (i have no idea off hand what level i got up to in terms of dosage...400mg?))

i've taken so many LEGALLY PROSCRIBED PER GOVERNMENT RULES drugs and have such a high tolerance i can never remember what the uptake periods and times for dosages are supposed to be i have to look them up, but i think zoloft is after four weeks, so this week is like the one where you should start to notice it more

The dosage is 2 weeks, actually. But outside of a few crying fits (that were over pretty quickly, like 2-5 mins) today, I actually got some sleep. Maybe it's starting to work. IDK. My depression is pretty damn deep, so I'm not sure these will work I'm one of the rare few that probably needs Ketmine or something to reset it.

ssris are no sleeping pills.

benjipwns

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #98 on: October 24, 2017, 02:13:48 AM »
The dosage is 2 weeks, actually. But outside of a few crying fits (that were over pretty quickly, like 2-5 mins) today, I actually got some sleep. Maybe it's starting to work. IDK. My depression is pretty damn deep, so I'm not sure these will work I'm one of the rare few that probably needs Ketmine or something to reset it.
i've never really thought the ketamine shot is worth it but then what i have is more longer term in how you want to approach it, after the week or whatever boost you have to come down off the ketamine, so i guess i have a totally different time scale i'm looking at things

i'm afraid all i can proscribe legally is watching an internet forum implode suddenly...but i also have some pamphlets about what hopefully is more cult and less internet forum #ResetEra #YearZero

thisismyusername

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #99 on: October 24, 2017, 08:42:21 AM »
ssris are no sleeping pills.

Yeah, I know. What I mean is I was able to actually force myself to sleep and feel rested for once in the past few months.

@Benji:  :lol Yeah, I know of the ten-day thing of Ketamine, which is why I wouldn't do it (especially at $500 a pop), but it apparently works wonders to where it basically just resets you over like 2-5 sessions. So it'd be kinda worth it in the end, if I could get into a trial maybe.

All I know is that I'm having mood swings on Zoloft so I'm definitely gonna see if I can change meds on Friday.

Huff

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #100 on: October 24, 2017, 08:42:53 AM »
Ketamine is kinda being looked at a wonder drug in a lot of different diseases right now with minimal data, so I'm still skeptical

TIMU - some SSRIs can take closer to 6-8 weeks to fully work. Or it may never work, but a different one may, so chat with your doc what the next step is

Edits: sorry weeks not months
« Last Edit: October 24, 2017, 10:21:08 AM by Huff »
dur

howDidIGetHere?

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #101 on: October 24, 2017, 10:08:48 AM »
I've got a bit to say on this subject later. At work right now so can't post long form. Wanted to ask though. Has anyone tried kratom for anxiety relief? I'm experimenting with it now and it seems like a great substitute for caffeine and pain meds.

thisismyusername

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #102 on: October 24, 2017, 11:52:06 AM »
TIMU - some SSRIs can take closer to 6-8 weeks to fully work. Or it may never work, but a different one may, so chat with your doc what the next step is

Edits: sorry weeks not months

Yeah, I know. But I think at this point, it's pretty clear to throw in the towel on Zoloft. Sometimes it'll stop the negative feelings, but I've had mood swings, anxiety, trouble-sleeping, etc. on it.

hungrynoob

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #103 on: October 24, 2017, 11:58:57 AM »
are you doing therapy at the same time or just ssris alone? worth to ask to get therapy thrown in aswell.

Cindi Mayweather

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #104 on: October 24, 2017, 11:59:44 AM »
Good on you, Rah!

Chin up, TIMU!

thisismyusername

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #105 on: October 24, 2017, 12:23:21 PM »
are you doing therapy at the same time or just ssris alone? worth to ask to get therapy thrown in aswell.

Both. Check ins bi-weekly (so far) and therapy nearly every week.

I did therapy for about 10 years before going on SSRI's. Didn't work. It was CBT (mostly) and my negative thoughts would just scoff at the "challenging your beliefs" because various things in my life have fallen apart and those thoughts are completely justified (IMO).

hungrynoob

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #106 on: October 24, 2017, 12:51:21 PM »
are you doing therapy at the same time or just ssris alone? worth to ask to get therapy thrown in aswell.

Both. Check ins bi-weekly (so far) and therapy nearly every week.

I did therapy for about 10 years before going on SSRI's. Didn't work. It was CBT (mostly) and my negative thoughts would just scoff at the "challenging your beliefs" because various things in my life have fallen apart and those thoughts are completely justified (IMO).

Thats good for you now though! CBT and ssris are not nearly as effective separately compared to combined - apparently. Good luck!

Similarly, a recent psylcibin mushoom study suggests magic mushrooms can be an effective method of ridding depression and anxiety. Hard to get a hold of, but im cautiously optimistic. Just fucking hard to get a hold of.

thisismyusername

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #107 on: October 24, 2017, 06:12:58 PM »
Well, just got back from someplace and with the test results I got it killed most of my anxiety for today. Maybe everything isn't hopeless bullshit in my life? (Wrath knows my problem, kinda...) Not gonna air it in public, but still... I'm pretty happy with the results. We'll see if that holds tomorrow, I guess. But hey, still got two more days before I change off Zoloft. As it is, I bought some over the counter sleeping pills so I can (hopefully) sleep for a full 8 hours tonight instead of getting up 4 and struggling to get back to sleep at 7 to wake up at 10 and go about the rest of my day.

KissVibes

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #108 on: October 24, 2017, 07:48:23 PM »
Been thinking a lot about killing myself again. Just turned 25 and things largely seem pointless. Not quite sure what to do to get ďright.Ē

Sorry dislike having no multiquote on here.


What way you think about it? Like a 'what if' kinda way or is it more evolved than that? The fact you said things seem pointless feels like you haven't quite gave up looking yet. The answer will not come quickly, but slowly over time. And it isnt really an answer, but more so you discovering who you are exactly, what you want, and how you can find it within yourself to get that. Have you reached out to anyone in your personal life for help professional or personal.

My parents didn't let me attend school and ultimately my only window out into the world was the useage of the internet. I've said a lot of cringe things and have done a ton of stupid shit with respects to the internet. I finally got my high school diploma a few years ago and quickly worked my way into a well-paying management position at a big box store. Isn't the most glamorous but most days I'm happy with what I've accomplished for myself in the timespan that I've had to do so. I definitely feel that I got a late start on life and as I just turned 25 last week, the fear of being out of time to accomplish anything meaningful in my life has crept up again. It's like my life is halfway over and I'm fucked. Completely and utterly fucked.

I attempted to kill myself last November via suicide by cop and it landed me in a mental health facility for a while. It was ultimately a good thing considering I never really dealt with my issues before then. I'd lie to myself and others about getting better but the truth it I was just putting everything on the backburner. Like a thing of JiffyPop that sits until it explodes. Only there's a million of them and they all explode at once. I'm in a much better place mentally than I was a year ago so I can recognize when I'm probably just letting my depression get the best of me but it still sucks. The last week had some cool moments but it made me reflect on how awful of a friend I can be to people. Like Wrath and Atra for example; I don't keep up with them nearly enough as I should and Atra especially I was horrible about texting back in a respectable time frame.

There's also knowing that most 25 years olds have finished school and are settling into amazing careers and shit. I'm over here managing a store in fucking Indiana and yeah, we may be doing 18% better (like $4ish million) YOY in the departments I manage since I've taken over it's still retail and it feels incredibly pathetic. I wish I knew what to do to just be at my best 100% of the time. The other thing too is a general lack of energy to do things. Though I don't even know what I would do if I had the energy.

Kinda just wanna blow my head off and cross my fingers that some god will give me a reroll on life and I can maybe do better next time? I don't wanna end up being someone like ManaByte.
REAL

demi

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #109 on: October 24, 2017, 07:59:42 PM »
I dont think anyone really ever feels like they accomplished anything in life. I don't, and I'm 32.

Probably doesnt help your case, but what you're feeling is pretty common. That sounds rude, but I dont know how else to put it.
fat

thisismyusername

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #110 on: October 24, 2017, 08:50:19 PM »
I dont think anyone really ever feels like they accomplished anything in life. I don't, and I'm 32.

This is certainly true, Shark. I'm feeling that ^ (lack of accomplishment) myself, but for "social milestones." Long story, PM me if you want the deets but anyway, you're 25.  You can always go to college later on (I say this as someone that rejects that theory, but you know... comforting words/I'm deeply depressed so ignore this aside). Why do your parents block you from going to school, if you don't mind me asking?

Cindi Mayweather

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #111 on: October 25, 2017, 11:56:49 PM »
I need that mdma rah

studyguy

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #112 on: October 26, 2017, 12:19:52 AM »
I dont think anyone really ever feels like they accomplished anything in life. I don't, and I'm 32.

Probably doesnt help your case, but what you're feeling is pretty common. That sounds rude, but I dont know how else to put it.

Hit 30 and still feel about as capable as I was when I was 18, but I mean I had to help my parents in the past two years since my dad was laid off from his work and he was down and out for half a year before finding decent employment again.  Like I still feel dumb as a rock but eventually getting thrust into positions you don't quite have a firm grasp on but commanding it anyway makes you aware of just how much you change despite feeling like you've been treading water for ages.

Those kinds of instances are few and far between though, I don't think it's easy to ever get a good picture of how much we progress due to a lack of outside perspective when everything one does feels so mundane in the moment.
pause

thisismyusername

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #113 on: October 26, 2017, 01:07:50 AM »
Honestly, I feel like Facebook and the Social Network era (for kiddos our age. :Pretentious Hobo) totally screws up expectations and milestones or whatever you want to call them in regards to progress.

I've been hit hard with a bunch of shit that has completely buried me and I'm struggling to get out of the fallen building-style rubble. So I'm way behind folks my age already have as "milestones" and it pisses me off. But I've been trying to remind myself that my situation is FUBAR'd harder than theirs (and they have their own shit to deal with, but I'm SUPER hard-mode in terms of things going on), which is something most people kinda need to do in a sense of "perspective."

I dunno... test results I got yesterday has put me in an "okay" and mostly happy mood all day today. So I'm not sure if the Zoloft helped me to where I have a "positive"/upbeat comment like the above or not. :yeshrug Just saying.

Rahxephon91

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #114 on: October 26, 2017, 01:16:55 AM »
Yes for sure. I would look on my facebook wall and see friends and people I know getting married, finding love, buying houses, having kids, getting real jobs, and so on. And while I didn't want all those things I felt like a failure.

A friend of mine who is a go getter and will probably succeed because she's actually focused told me  on this subject that those things did'nt bother her because "shes where she needs to be and is there where she is supposed to be". It sounded dumb to me at the time and does miss no doubt the fact that life can be crushing. A cynical person like me instantly thinks that and there's a benfefit to thinking like that, but in the end I'm not sure it's good to dwell on that and rather think about why that idea could be correct.

I am in no position to be ready for those things because I haven't hit that the maturity level honestly and thats fine. I'll get there when it's my time.

Also comparing yourself to others does you no favor.

Tasty Meat

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #115 on: October 26, 2017, 01:17:43 AM »
Life doesn't matter and life milestones matter even less. They're a shit-stained version of Xbox Live Achievements. The sooner you stop chasing them, the more enjoyment you'll have out of this game we call life.
🌈

Bloodwake

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #116 on: October 26, 2017, 03:05:56 AM »
Iíve tried to kill myself at least five times in my life. Iíve been institutionalized for a period of time.

Eventually I found the right cocktail of anxiety and depression drugs. It took 13 years and working through a whole lot of shit.

Even still, I donít have an answer for you guys. Just keep trying to survive. Exercise. Find a new hobby.

I havenít accomplished a whole lot either, but we canít all win the Nobel Prize. What we have accomplished is we were dealt a shit card with mental health and we are still alive. We are saying fuck you to the universe and the genes that wired us wrong.

I used to look at things like I donít belong in this world. Now I just give the world the finger and tell everyone Iím going to exist regardless and enjoy every fucking second of it that I can.
HLR

Sophie

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #117 on: October 26, 2017, 03:25:37 AM »
^ Liked your post for the second last half, well said. I'm content with knowing life isn't a fairytale, and probably never will be. But that doesn't mean it won't be good or enjoyable. That's why it's important to do the things you enjoy and also live in the moment,  plus you appreciate it a lot more if you don't take it for granted.

thisismyusername

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #118 on: October 26, 2017, 06:53:54 AM »
Life doesn't matter and life milestones matter even less. They're a shit-stained version of Xbox Live Achievements. The sooner you stop chasing them, the more enjoyment you'll have out of this game we call life.

I mean that's easy to say. But when you're in a situation like mine, you start to have creeping anxiety and dread. It royally sucks. I totally do feel like a failure and have no control in my life. But to be fair: When even the federal government won't help you with services... what is the fucking point?

I'm not feeling depressed right now, BTW. But shit, I kinda do wish I dead just because I feel like I have no control on anything in my life and anytime I ask for help I'm pretty much ignored. Heh. Writing half the shit in my head out over the past 2-3 days (I bought a notebook, I remember a therapist/suggestion online saying to write shit out) has helped. It's been kinda cathartic and it's been ages since I've actually wrote. So writing about shit even if I think I'm crazy has helped.

I dunno why I'm posting that. I'm defintely gonna stop giving updates on my depression in here though. Because I don't need that shit on Google searches (#ThanksDemi).

Freyj

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Re: Depression thread
« Reply #119 on: October 26, 2017, 09:45:47 AM »
Finally stepping down my Lexapro dose to almost nothing now that my professional life is back on track. Iím glad to have had it when life was a stress cocktail of daytime anxiety and nighttime depression, but Iím glad to be off of it as well. My appetite skyrocketed while on it and Iím looking forward to getting back down to where I was fully comfortable with my weight again. Lost 60 or so in early 2015 and was down to a weight I hadnít been since before Uni 15-16 years ago.