I'm also pretty sure chunks of it are just factually wrong especially with the way the sentences are written. But I'll let Kirblar, well known Korean War expert author, handle that over on ResetERA.com.
Regarding the most obvious cuts, since that's supposedly why we wanted to see this (wink wink), he could just use The British or British every time after he originally mentioned British government/foreign policy rather than repeating it like he's trying to pad his word count until it sounds unnatural.