Author Topic: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding (Read 9939 times)

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #60 on:** March 29, 2019, 06:54:58 AM »

Let’s get back to the real topic at hand; will one man enter another man’s butt in Infinity Bores and then get big? Or will he enter through the urethra instead? I should have made this a poll.

thisismyusername · « **Reply #61 on:** March 29, 2019, 07:59:12 AM »

Quote from: Joe Molotov on March 29, 2019, 06:54:58 AM

Let’s get back to the real topic at hand; will one man enter another man’s butt in Infinity Bores and then get big? Or will he enter through the urethra instead? I should have made this a poll.

No, because Disney won't allow Deadpool to suggest that to the Avengers.

Brehvolution · « **Reply #62 on:** March 29, 2019, 12:53:46 PM »

https://i.imgur.com/h3mcwhI.mp4

Dickie Dee · « **Reply #63 on:** March 29, 2019, 02:27:20 PM »

Quote from: Brehvolution on March 29, 2019, 12:53:46 PM

https://i.imgur.com/h3mcwhI.mp4

So this is actually a thing, huh?

kingv · « **Reply #64 on:** March 29, 2019, 05:02:05 PM »

Disappointed nobody has used term Thanus yet.

The Thanus initiative.

I think I’m mostly curious about what is next after these movies. I kind of figured they would use it to reset the universe in a way where some characters got new actors. But I also feel that would be a hard ass thing to hide.

toku · « **Reply #65 on:** March 29, 2019, 11:17:22 PM »

kingv · « **Reply #66 on:** March 30, 2019, 09:28:36 PM »

I just realized this is called Endgame...

End game what is the end? The rear end?

And Evangeline Lilly is the wasps girlfriend? What else was she in? Lost. And in Lost they say “we have to go back!”

Well, what’s in the back?

The Thanus.

Guys. This is real.

team filler · « **Reply #67 on:** March 30, 2019, 09:35:23 PM »

antman is going to give thanus a prostate massage and turn thanus gay. then thanus will snap his finger to bring the other half of the universe back, but now they're all gay too

Yeti · « **Reply #68 on:** March 30, 2019, 10:44:51 PM »

People don’t realize that ANTman is an acronym: Anus Neutralizes Thanos

VomKriege · « **Reply #69 on:** March 31, 2019, 07:26:35 AM »

Do not underestimate audiences's willingness to see the same thing again and again.

Quote

After the Western's renewed commercial successes in the late 1930s, the popularity of the Western continued to rise until its peak in the 1950s, when the number of Western films produced outnumbered all other genres combined.

(In US production I guess, but still.)

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Western_(genre)

Western were ubiquitous for 30 years and that was after having gone through one long huge stretch as a popular genre not that long before.

We still have, at least, ten years of that shit ahead of us, I'm afraid.

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #70 on:** March 31, 2019, 09:07:47 AM »

Quote from: kingv on March 30, 2019, 09:28:36 PM

I just realized this is called Endgame...

End game what is the end? The rear end?

And Evangeline Lilly is the wasps girlfriend? What else was she in? Lost. And in Lost they say “we have to go back!”

Well, what’s in the back?

The Thanus.

Guys. This is real.

thisismyusername · « **Reply #71 on:** March 31, 2019, 10:08:53 AM »

Quote from: filler on March 30, 2019, 09:35:23 PM

antman is going to give thanus a prostate massage and turn thanus gay. then thanus will snap his finger to bring the other half of the universe back, but now they're all gay too

GOOD END!

Himu · « **Reply #72 on:** March 31, 2019, 03:46:24 PM »

Quote from: VomKriege on March 31, 2019, 07:26:35 AM

Do not underestimate audiences's willingness to see the same thing again and again.

Quote
After the Western's renewed commercial successes in the late 1930s, the popularity of the Western continued to rise until its peak in the 1950s, when the number of Western films produced outnumbered all other genres combined.

(In US production I guess, but still.)

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Western_(genre)

Western were ubiquitous for 30 years and that was after having gone through one long huge stretch as a popular genre not that long before.

We still have, at least, ten years of that shit ahead of us, I'm afraid.

Westerns could be Deep st least. Most hero flicks are pandering garbage.

Himu · « **Reply #73 on:** March 31, 2019, 06:05:53 PM »

Watched Infinity War to see what I "missed".

It was complete and utter garbage.

One "wait, I'll give you the stone! Please don't kill him!" moment after another, combined with shoving "comedic" diarrhea in every scene no matter how serious, and distinguished mentally-challenged fellow moments meant purely to just extend the storyline (Starlord freaking out about Gamora) two seconds before Thanus loses the gauntlet. There are literally two - maybe three - moments in the movie where a lover says to kill them if blah blah happens. "Wanda, it's time." 'NO!"

What an awful, awful movie. Probably as bad as Avengers 2.

thisismyusername · « **Reply #74 on:** March 31, 2019, 06:20:50 PM »

Being fair: Wanda lost her brother (I really wish the Fox merger brings Evan Peters in, better Quicksilver, IMO). Her robot boyfriend is the only thing she had left from the fracture that the Avengers had in Civil War.

Peter is human and doesn't want to kill his love, makes sense.

I do find the giving the stone a bit pointless, but you have to remember he had the ability to teleport/manipulate time (from Doctor Stange), etc from the gauntlet at the point where he was getting the yellow gem, it was basically over about 30 mins ago into the movie.

Nintex · « **Reply #75 on:** March 31, 2019, 06:23:34 PM »

Hawkeye returns for a reason. He's probably the key to defeating Thanos.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Ant Man takes a lift in his mouth as he blows Thanos?

[close]

Himu · « **Reply #76 on:** March 31, 2019, 06:29:41 PM »

There are three "wait I'll give you the stone!" moments in the movie.

Loki doing it for Thor
Gamora for her "sister" (what)
Strange for Stark

Movie is flat out trash. Like I actually laughed out loud during the ending credits.

Vision: kill me Wanda
Me: you're a superhero nicca, end yourself. Just blast your self repeatedly with a beam out of your own hand nicca.

Thanos gets the last stone, teleports to some water place with a temple:
Me: what is this ocarina of time shit?

At least in FFVII, Sephiroth uses mind control to control Cloud, here everyone gives him what he wants willingly.

The only competent characters are Thanos, Iron Man, and Spider-Man. TBH marvel movie stans should be embarrassed after shilling and meme-ing this for a year.

Movie was a total ki-fest.

Here's a Paola gif because...that's my mood.

kingv · « **Reply #77 on:** March 31, 2019, 06:34:14 PM »

I don’t think the problem with the MCU is that the movies pander, are predictable, and have mediocre acting.

Theyre really no better or worse than the dumb popcorn flicks we have had for years and years and years.

The real problem with them is that a lot of people Stan for the movies and pretend they are something more than they are. I genuinely enjoy the movies, look forward to seeing them, and enjoy complaining about the dumber aspects of them. I only find them annoying when someone starts talking about how amazing they are.

Himu · « **Reply #78 on:** March 31, 2019, 06:43:18 PM »

Can't wait for Endgame. Gotta hustle and get those dragonballs.

Nintex · « **Reply #79 on:** March 31, 2019, 06:45:50 PM »

Quote from: kingv on March 31, 2019, 06:34:14 PM

I don’t think the problem with the MCU is that the movies pander, are predictable, and have mediocre acting.

Theyre really no better or worse than the dumb popcorn flicks we have had for years and years and years.

The real problem with them is that a lot of people Stan for the movies and pretend they are something more than they are. I genuinely enjoy the movies, look forward to seeing them, and enjoy complaining about the dumber aspects of them. I only find them annoying when someone starts talking about how amazing they are.

I enjoy them on a base 'cool action movie' level. Hitting the cinema with friends and watching the latest Marvel slog is good fun.
But except for a few I really liked I keep my expectations low. I'm not expecting these to change my views on cinema or offer a plot twist I didn't see coming from a mile away.
I guess if you don't watch that many movies except for romcoms and cheap blockbusters these films will blow your socks off. I still run into people who haven't seen films such as The Big Lebowski or American Psycho.

Some of my co-workers were actually upset by the the Fury revelation that was snuck into the Captain Marvel film.
"OH WOW, They totally ruined that important character detail". And I'm sitting there like, brehs I love the 90's and Captain Marvel has no ass but that suit fits her well.

Himu · « **Reply #80 on:** March 31, 2019, 06:45:53 PM »

Quote from: kingv on March 31, 2019, 06:34:14 PM

I don’t think the problem with the MCU is that the movies pander, are predictable, and have mediocre acting.

Theyre really no better or worse than the dumb popcorn flicks we have had for years and years and years.

The real problem with them is that a lot of people Stan for the movies and pretend they are something more than they are. I genuinely enjoy the movies, look forward to seeing them, and enjoy complaining about the dumber aspects of them. I only find them annoying when someone starts talking about how amazing they are.

How dare you compare them to Speed or Die Hard

Mandark · « **Reply #81 on:** March 31, 2019, 06:59:20 PM »

Quote from: Cindi Mayweather on March 31, 2019, 06:45:53 PM

How dare you compare them to Speed 2 or Die Harder

See how sample bias can change things.

HyperZoneWasAwesome · « **Reply #82 on:** March 31, 2019, 07:07:43 PM »

Quote from: Stro on March 28, 2019, 08:10:53 PM

I don't think there's really ever been a good Hollywood fad, otherwise they would have stuck around and become the norm instead of being a passing fad.

Hollywood in the 70's would bankroll just about anything from some highfalutin' artiste (bonus points if they were Italian) until they figured out that Micheal Cimino was just a guy with a great coke connection.

mid-80's Hollywood was so determined to chase those Schwarzenegger and Stallone dollars that they gave careers to Jean Claude Van Damme and Steven Seagal among others. Then PG-13 dinosaurs conquered the world and a megabudget on Total Recall didn't make quite as much sense anymore.

But yeah, Superhero flicks are just getting bigger all the time. They're sticking around for a looooong haul. Fecking Aquaman (Aquaman, who until recently was shorthand for 'Lame-Ass Comic Shit') made a billion plus, regrettable 90's relic Venom came close to matching it. Shazam and Del Toro-less Hellboy are on deck and I woulda said they'd be dead in the water but I can't bring myself to predict what if any of these damn things are gonna tank because none have since the last shitty attempt at a Fantastic Four redo. I mean, shit man, like Suicide Squad even made huge bank. I just don't get it maaaaaaan.

Brehvolution · « **Reply #83 on:** April 01, 2019, 02:05:35 PM »

team filler · « **Reply #84 on:** April 01, 2019, 03:35:25 PM »

naff · « **Reply #85 on:** April 01, 2019, 06:16:32 PM »

"idgi, why are superhero movies so popular"

*watches all the superhero movies, proceeds to make critique of said movies like they're different from all the other people that continually watch these movies despite being luke warm on them

i know very few people that are crazy about superhero movies, or even like them that much. nearly everyone i know watches them though. also, Aquaman was so batshit insane i thought it was kinda great. Temuera and Nicole

they are a cultural phenomenon. the adventure movie reborn with a god complex. new medium, same phenomenon as the late 30s/40s golden era of comics. maybe it's reductionist/simplistic but it does seem that simple to me.

VomKriege · « **Reply #86 on:** April 01, 2019, 08:24:46 PM »

The important question is, will the last Stan Lee cameo be in Thanos's rectum ?

benjipwns · « **Reply #87 on:** April 02, 2019, 04:01:08 AM »

Quote from: Cindi Mayweather on March 31, 2019, 03:46:24 PM

Westerns could be Deep st least. Most hero flicks are pandering garbage.

Quote from: Stro on March 31, 2019, 03:53:23 PM

The vast, vast majority of Westerns are/were pandering garbage, too, breh. The only genre more pandering than Westerns was war movies that were outright propaganda.

Also, a lot of Westerns were parables or whatever that used the Western setting as framing.

Most infamously, Star Trek was called "Wagon Train to the Stars" because the premise of Wagon Train was that the said Wagon Train would show up somewhere and whatever could happen, it didn't have to be a Western trope because the Wagon Train could be there just for the episode. (Something Star Trek took to the extreme with NAZI PLANET and GANGSTER PLANET.) That's why many of the Westerns had a SHERIFF main character, so he could do crime shit like investigate a murder or bank robbers.

Some of the comic films do this already, Guardians 1 was basically a Star Wars film and 2 wasn't too far removed from that honestly even if it was shitty (so closer to a Star Wars film?), while I make fun of it for the political thriller meme, Winter Soldier still was pretty close to something like a Bourne film. Comic everything hasn't quite reached the saturation point where it's doing this like Westerns were, though some of the TV shows are already there. Arrow had an entire episode set in the corporate boardroom discussing the Queen companies financials and debating the upcoming product line. (I wish.)

To use a modern example, Deadwood is a Western, it uses every single trope of the genre. Many them are literal, not stand-ins for something else. It's still original because, one it's on HBO so it can actually be literal with a lot of the tropes like say, whores, two it has decades worth of ground to mine from everywhere else and bring it into a Western.

Quote from: Cindi Mayweather on March 31, 2019, 06:29:41 PM

There are three "wait I'll give you the stone!" moments in the movie.

Loki doing it for Thor
Gamora for her "sister" (what)
Strange for Stark

At least in FFVII, Sephiroth uses mind control to control Cloud, here everyone gives him what he wants willingly.

One of these is for the deus ex machina in the sequel. The movie even pointed it out.

I'll admit the Loki one was kinda odd honestly. Even for him basically being a hero in these films he both revealed he had the gem and gave it up pretty damn fast.

Himu · « **Reply #88 on:** April 02, 2019, 04:11:39 PM »

"Also, a lot of Westerns were parables or whatever that used the Western setting as framing."

Agreed, but I don't get this from comic movies and I think comic movies are a pretty limited medium for achieving parables if it's based around superheroes. There's so much you can do with a man or woman in a cape. Like you mention Winter Soldier but I mostly just saw a mindless action flick of two former friends fighting and I enjoyed far less than any Bourne or Bond film. You could say the same for Civil War: it's a political thriller about government and registries. Okay but other than that it doesn't connect to me as a parable or even an allegory. It's mostly just an excuse for watching guys beat each other up, and much like the actual Civil War comic it takes an interesting premise and fucks it into the ground. Every single movie you listed has - imo - shoddy delivery and is not up to par.

I can watch a shit ton of samurai and western movies. A movie like Yojimbo or The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly is something I connect with. I enjoyed the stories being told. Comic book movies for the most part, are about shoving as much shit on screen as possible. Westerns, despite their own excesses and pandering pap, are far more intimate. If comics were to act as a parable for anything remotely resembling human life they'd be more Logan and less Infinity War. Modern superhero movies have a big mantra of "more is more" rather than focusing on central stories and a limited cast as seen in imo the best of its genre, The Dark Knight.

So

Himu · « **Reply #89 on:** April 02, 2019, 04:16:24 PM »

I mean, compare.

with

It's also a big reason I love Black Panther: it's intimate and focuses on a very limited cast of characters.

Using super hero movies as an example of parables actually made me laugh out loud, Benji. For what? Everything is epic. Everything is big. Far from the loneliness of the Japanese countryside or the American frontier and the lives of the regular folk affected. To show how BAD the storytelling in Infinity War is, when Thanos snaps his fingers you don't see a single non-hero disappear. Not entire populations or anything. Yet it wants me to care that this guy is destroying the galaxy. Shit storytelling, shit movie, arguably shit genre.

Himu · « **Reply #90 on:** April 02, 2019, 05:09:35 PM »

This guy articulates it very well.

More hero movies should look to TDK. When TDK raises the stakes it includes the actual city into it. Joker increasingly raises the stakes, but the populace are always involved. When he throws out a bounty to kill the guy that knows about Batman's identity, seemingly random people get involved to try to assassinate him. When Joker threatens the entire city with a threat, everyone tries to leave, many by boat. He rigs both boats with bombs and forces the populace to choose if they want to bomb the other boat. This forces a huge empathetic reaction with the viewer because we can put ourselves in their shoes. Intimacy: probably unwritten rule two or three of good film making.

Now let's look at the Infinity War. They're trying to save the galaxy/universe from someone who can kill half the galaxy with a finger snap, but aside from the flashback with Gamora there's nothing intimate about its storytelling. It's always pushing forward and refuses to sit down with its characters, or even its world/universe. Bad film making 101. Hell, it'd make a bad comic book.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Which it is.

[close]

Dickie Dee · « **Reply #91 on:** April 03, 2019, 12:36:59 PM »

Quote from: Cindi Mayweather on April 02, 2019, 05:09:35 PM

Now let's look at the Infinity War. They're trying to save the galaxy/universe from someone who can kill half the galaxy with a finger snap, but aside from the flashback with Gamora there's nothing intimate about its storytelling.

More

in one scene than the entire Batman franchise (which I actually love, btw).

Himu · « **Reply #92 on:** April 03, 2019, 12:53:08 PM »

If you think my point is

you’re wrong. A good superhero film doesn’t need to be as depressing as TDK. Kick Ass and Spider-Man 2 (Raimi) are also great examples. When I say intimate, I mean focusing on a small cast of characters, their lives, and the people they care about. It’s a specific focused direction and the conflict is personal. I thought it worked with the original Avengers movie because it focused on five or so characters but eventually they made it the size of where it is now, and it’s just a giant clusterfuck.

agrajag · « **Reply #93 on:** April 03, 2019, 01:03:03 PM »

Black Panther was as trash as any other Marvel movie

kingv · « **Reply #94 on:** April 03, 2019, 01:36:47 PM »

Quote from: agrajag on April 03, 2019, 01:03:03 PM

Black Panther was as trash as any other Marvel movie

Agreed. It’s the real equality. One day every sub-population in the US will have a mediocre super hero movie to call their own.

Himu · « **Reply #95 on:** April 03, 2019, 01:47:28 PM »

Quote from: agrajag on April 03, 2019, 01:03:03 PM

Black Panther was as trash as any other Marvel movie

Probably! It's hard for me to watch without blinders on.

agrajag · « **Reply #96 on:** April 03, 2019, 01:52:00 PM »

Regarding the whole intimacy argument. Being a loose adaptation of Infinity Gauntlet storyline, it having a small, intimate cast was an impossible proposition to begin with. On top of that, it's not like any movie with a smallish cast is automatically good.

Himu · « **Reply #97 on:** April 03, 2019, 01:56:19 PM »

Quote from: agrajag on April 03, 2019, 01:52:00 PM

Regarding the whole intimacy argument. Being a loose adaptation of Infinity Gauntlet storyline, it having a small, intimate cast was an impossible proposition to begin with. On top of that, it's not like any movie with a smallish cast is automatically good.

Of course. I'm not saying it's automatically good. I simply do not think that the method Marvel studios doles out big epics is conducive to a good epic movie. There's a tonal shift every 5 seconds, characters are underdeveloped, and fight scenes are just all over the place. Surely there's a method to make an epic story and have people care. I care when I watch the original Star Wars trilogy or Lord of the Rings. I do not care while watching Infinity War. Something about it just turns me off. And in my experience, those other movies are more likely to spend personal time with the characters, their worries, and their struggles. Infinity War does no such thing. The only character that earns any sympathy is Thor and arguably Gamora.

agrajag · « **Reply #98 on:** April 03, 2019, 01:59:08 PM »

imo you're just need to accept those movies for what they are, big budget fan service cash cows. If you turn off your brain, you can enjoy them, but I would say the same about most entertainment

Mandark · « **Reply #99 on:** April 03, 2019, 02:01:29 PM »

I think if you made the distinction between "this doesn't work for me" and "people are wrong to enjoy this and it's ruining everything!" it would be good for your blood pressure.

Himu · « **Reply #100 on:** April 03, 2019, 02:06:17 PM »

I do turn off my brain. I still can't enjoy them. I watched TDK for the first time in years a few months ago and it was still amazing. I don't see what's wrong with holding Marvel to a higher standard given they're the biggest movies out now, and the only movies people see with each other at the theater mostly anymore. I could turn my brain off if they had the balls to make the movies story-based but it feels so damn reliant on big battles and special effects more than anything. It's hard to get over a glaring question of "if Thanos wants the rings to destroy half the galaxy why won't he just use his ultimate power to create more resources?" I get the same way with bad comic books. For the record, I hate the actual Infinity War comic as well. I like my super hero comics nice and small in terms of scope. Very rarely do big "event" books work to thrill me. The only comic I like that's "epic" is probably One Piece and Oda has more talent and foresight to build characters up while doing the big epic moments. I just don't enjoy these movies, even on a superficial level. I just don't think they're well made in any sense of the word and it gives me anxiety because of my own creative film aspirations. If this is popular, then why bother?

Himu · « **Reply #101 on:** April 03, 2019, 02:06:42 PM »

Quote from: Mandark on April 03, 2019, 02:01:29 PM

I think if you made the distinction between "this doesn't work for me" and "people are wrong to enjoy this and it's ruining everything!" it would be good for your blood pressure.

That's fair.

Mandark · « **Reply #102 on:** April 03, 2019, 02:10:06 PM »

Quote from: Cindi Mayweather on April 03, 2019, 02:06:17 PM

It's hard to get over a glaring question of "if Thanos wants the rings to destroy half the galaxy why won't he just use his ultimate power to create more resources?"

I've seen a lot of people point this out and the answer is clearly that he's a megalomaniac psycho who's just rationalizing his behavior. I think they gave him enough screen time and Josh Brolin did a good enough job with the voice that a lot of viewers felt we were meant to sympathize somewhat with his viewpoint, but it makes more sense to me if he's a murderous asshole with a messiah complex.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #103 on:** April 03, 2019, 02:11:47 PM »

Let's get back to talking about sticking metal rods up pee holes.

agrajag · « **Reply #104 on:** April 03, 2019, 02:11:59 PM »

I mean there's literally people irl who hold similar attitudes as Thanos, but whatevs

Himu · « **Reply #105 on:** April 03, 2019, 02:13:28 PM »

Also, the frustrating thing is that I actually like Marvel movies of the past like Iron and Avengers. I actually used to regularly go to the movies to see the next big Marvel hit and even I'm tired of them. I simply don't get how anyone could want more, but that's just me.

I also would have less of a problem if studios would stop cribbing from superhero movies. They're fine, in their own bubble, but when it starts affecting the rest of film making...

agrajag · « **Reply #106 on:** April 03, 2019, 02:22:30 PM »

Remember before the first IW came out? There were so many discussions of "how are they even going to make a movie with every character getting more than 30 seconds of dialogue?" It was always going to be incredibly difficult to make a movie out of combining every Disney Marvel franchise into one. I'd say the Russo bros did an ok job all things considered. But ultimately, this is what their brand was heading towards from the get go. One massive showdown with all the super heroes from every movie. Imagine the public outcry if they cut half the characters out to make it a more intimate cast.

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #107 on:** April 03, 2019, 02:44:21 PM »

Quote from: agrajag on April 03, 2019, 02:11:59 PM

I mean there's literally people irl who hold similar attitudes as Thanos, but whatevs

Who do you relate too more: Thanus or Killmonger?

kingv · « **Reply #108 on:** April 03, 2019, 04:24:15 PM »

I used to post on NEOGAF... so probably both.

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #109 on:** April 03, 2019, 05:51:59 PM »

https://twitter.com/DanGheesling/status/1113545286662742016

News:

Author Topic: Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up the Mad Titan’s butt and expanding (Read 9939 times)