Author Topic: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?  (Read 3817 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Eschaton

  • Guest
insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« on: May 18, 2019, 04:41:02 PM »
going off the movies since i dont read comics unless they come from glorious :japancry

there are plenty of obvious choices but i think thor is the winner here. he's just too many tropes dovetailed together..... the Golden One style ubermensch monarch look, the obvious appeals to the varg vikernes crowd, plus he's a NEET with intense mommy issues in the last movie.

you may be tempted to go with say captain america or iron man as symbols of empire (one representing an idealized america, the other as the prototypical benevolent bourgeois interventionist) but there's fash bashing inherent to both characters and a sort of technocratic elite aspect to IM that renders him unsuitable.

bonus shout out to black widow for the QAnon aesthetics and hulk for The Gorilla Mindset.

shosta

  • Y = λ𝑓. (λ𝑥. 𝑓 (𝑥 𝑥)) (λ𝑥. 𝑓 (𝑥 𝑥))
  • Senior Member
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #1 on: May 18, 2019, 04:53:19 PM »
the spiderman video game was almost entirely spent beating up random drug dealers and the plot twist is that the supposedly left wing celebrity running a homeless shelter was, actually, a chinese terrorist
每天生气

team filler

  • filler
  • filler
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #2 on: May 18, 2019, 05:00:24 PM »
hawkeye is just american sniper with a bow
*****

agrajag

  • Senior Member
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #3 on: May 18, 2019, 05:10:37 PM »
well Thor is basically an Aryan wet dream so

toku

  • 𝕩𝕩𝕩
  • Senior Member
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #4 on: May 18, 2019, 05:22:58 PM »
I was trying to think of how Black Widow fits just to make a joke about her googling BGC porn.

Van Cruncheon

  • live mas or die trying
  • Banned
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #5 on: May 18, 2019, 05:29:13 PM »
black panther -- leader of a conservative, isolationist, technocratic ethnostate

#killmongerwasright
duc

Van Cruncheon

  • live mas or die trying
  • Banned
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #6 on: May 18, 2019, 05:36:34 PM »
that...

my dumb weed brain can't process if that is laughably adolescent or actually kinda swass (mostly on account of "marxos")
duc

agrajag

  • Senior Member
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #7 on: May 18, 2019, 05:38:54 PM »
Nick Fury is basically Dan Crenshaw

nudemacusers

  • Senior Member
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #8 on: May 18, 2019, 06:02:43 PM »
T’Challa:Tony Stark::Candace Owens:Donald Trump
﷽﷽﷽﷽﷽

BisMarckie

  • Senior Member
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #9 on: May 18, 2019, 07:26:44 PM »
Thor would be way too busy getting pussy in the real world to truly care about politics. He wouldn‘t even vote most of the time. :ufup

shosta

  • Y = λ𝑓. (λ𝑥. 𝑓 (𝑥 𝑥)) (λ𝑥. 𝑓 (𝑥 𝑥))
  • Senior Member
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #10 on: May 18, 2019, 07:28:59 PM »
apparently I didn't post this on the bore, but, my theory is that the reason Venom was panned was because it was actually too woke and a review-bomb was coordinated to contain the anti-capitalist subversive messaging within. spoilers forthcoming

spoiler (click to show/hide)
The movie starts off with a private corporation discovering alien life. This completely upends several decades of alien encounter tropes by making a private corporation the first organized point of contact instead of a government entity.

We skip forward several months and are introduced to our gonzo anti-hero Tom Hardy confronting billionaire pharmaceutical CEO Not-Bezos about an undisclosed lawsuit over his reckless abandon in pursuing human trials that have a high death rate.

Well, for this courageous act of journalism, his boss reinforms him that mass media passes through corporate filters ("No one is above the network, Eddie"), Tom Hardy is fired, and so is his girlfriend (who was a defense attorney working for Not-Bezos), and she breaks up with him. The lesson here is that if you even think about challenging the rich and powerful, you will lose everything, including your loved ones, and she will start dating a rich doctor.

Six months later Not-Bezos begins kidnapping homeless people off of the street to experiment on them to death with the aliens he discovered in order to transcend human limits. In this way he is also Not-Thiel.

For most of the movie the main obstacle Venom has are militarized police and private defense contractors. Venom even has to deal with drones:


The main villain is motivated by climate change. This is literally the only Marvel movie that mentions climate change.
[close]

Just to prove that this movie is really that much better than people said it was:



Quote
Venom's international success in China is second only to Avengers: Infinity War in 2018, which nabbed $360 million in the Middle Kingdom alone.
每天生气

toku

  • 𝕩𝕩𝕩
  • Senior Member
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #11 on: May 18, 2019, 07:32:51 PM »
Venom did well because ppl are horny and want to fuck and suck the thing.
« Last Edit: May 18, 2019, 07:39:11 PM by toku »

shosta

  • Y = λ𝑓. (λ𝑥. 𝑓 (𝑥 𝑥)) (λ𝑥. 𝑓 (𝑥 𝑥))
  • Senior Member
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #12 on: May 18, 2019, 07:35:28 PM »
每天生气

Van Cruncheon

  • live mas or die trying
  • Banned
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #13 on: May 18, 2019, 07:46:10 PM »
i want to know about the millennia of barbarities performed by wakanda's nostalgia-driven, arch-traditionalist post-modern monarchy, and papered over by neon and flying cars and mecha cat suits

how many subcultures bled and died for the human triteness of shuri's nanotech wizzbangery and t'challa's performative ascension ritual

vibranium doesn't mine itself, sheeple!

#latestagefeudalism, fam
duc

Van Cruncheon

  • live mas or die trying
  • Banned
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #14 on: May 18, 2019, 07:55:40 PM »
only two things keeping wakanda from being the fantasy fever dream of the alt-right

1. it has black people
2. it didn't invent anime

edit: on the plus side, wakanda actually BUILT THAT WALL

« Last Edit: May 18, 2019, 08:01:19 PM by Van Cruncheon »
duc

Kara

  • It was all going to be very admirable and noble and it would show us - philosophically - what it means to be human.
  • Senior Member
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #15 on: May 18, 2019, 08:03:19 PM »
1. This thread is amazing. :lol
2. Esch made some great points about Cap. However, Cap was so desperate for a trad wife that he abandoned his post to permanently and totally go back in time to reunite with Peggy Carter. "But wait, Peggy isn't trad wife material," the fact checking nerds are thinking right now. WRONG. You think Peggy is going to talk about intersectional systems of oppression? You think Peggy is going to ask Cap to go down on her while she's menstruating and then get mad when he's not down with that? We are all more than our jobs, read Fight Club instead of being an insufferable dweeb on the internet.
3. Venom fucking ruled, if it perhaps ran a little too long.

Van Cruncheon

  • live mas or die trying
  • Banned
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #16 on: May 18, 2019, 08:11:37 PM »
i liked venom too, although frankly i was into it just to see bezos-musk get a space alien beating
duc

Van Cruncheon

  • live mas or die trying
  • Banned
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #17 on: May 18, 2019, 08:15:10 PM »
while i think my case for t'challa is solid, i must confess i initially thought the same as filler -- "heyo, hawkeye is just christopher kyle with a steady government police job" -- but i didn't want to admit it and live a life of dishonor on thebire
duc

team filler

  • filler
  • filler
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #18 on: May 18, 2019, 08:16:58 PM »
cap is just zyzz but gay af
*****

agrajag

  • Senior Member
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #19 on: May 18, 2019, 08:17:53 PM »
zyzz was a russian troll, it's all starting to add up..

shosta

  • Y = λ𝑓. (λ𝑥. 𝑓 (𝑥 𝑥)) (λ𝑥. 𝑓 (𝑥 𝑥))
  • Senior Member
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #20 on: May 18, 2019, 08:18:11 PM »
ok I've got the good shit

每天生气

nachobro

  • Live Más
  • Senior Member
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #21 on: May 18, 2019, 08:18:43 PM »
bruce banner probably read a book so him. 100% watches anime too

Van Cruncheon

  • live mas or die trying
  • Banned
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #22 on: May 18, 2019, 08:21:19 PM »
how many minorities has hawkeye killed? probably lots. his daddy, nick fury, doesn't see color, natch.

he's got a trad wife, a state-sanctioned outlet for his ptsd, and an ex-soviet collar to cuck him.

yes, i am stuck in a hotel in portland waiting for my coworkers to drown me in vodka
duc

Kara

  • It was all going to be very admirable and noble and it would show us - philosophically - what it means to be human.
  • Senior Member
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #23 on: May 18, 2019, 08:28:55 PM »
oh my God Captain America is a bodybuilding.com poster

 :rofl :rofl :rofl

Joe Molotov

  • I'm much more humble than you would understand.
  • Administrator
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #24 on: May 18, 2019, 08:31:18 PM »
Black Widow is a Russian twitter bot.
©@©™

Van Cruncheon

  • live mas or die trying
  • Banned
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #25 on: May 18, 2019, 08:39:58 PM »
question is, who is thebore.com's leftist mcu daddy?

vision is too feels to be antifa. the hulk is too masculinist. loki too hedonistic to commit to the revolution. daredevil too religious (and twee).

i vote jessica jones because she's bitter, drunk, and punk enough to smash the state. she's got ressentiment in spades, and she's also enough of a colossal fuck-up to be browsing guro porn when the people finally take the means of production




duc

team filler

  • filler
  • filler
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #26 on: May 18, 2019, 08:41:53 PM »
also interracial loving BBC slut  :drool
*****

shosta

  • Y = λ𝑓. (λ𝑥. 𝑓 (𝑥 𝑥)) (λ𝑥. 𝑓 (𝑥 𝑥))
  • Senior Member
每天生气

Himu

  • Senior Member
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #28 on: May 18, 2019, 09:01:26 PM »
going off the movies since i dont read comics unless they come from glorious :japancry

My man :obama
IYKYK

Joe Molotov

  • I'm much more humble than you would understand.
  • Administrator
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #29 on: May 18, 2019, 09:07:55 PM »
Thanos is into butt stuff.
©@©™

Kara

  • It was all going to be very admirable and noble and it would show us - philosophically - what it means to be human.
  • Senior Member
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #30 on: May 18, 2019, 09:46:29 PM »
question is, who is thebore.com's leftist mcu daddy?

vision is too feels to be antifa. the hulk is too masculinist. loki too hedonistic to commit to the revolution. daredevil too religious (and twee).

i vote jessica jones because she's bitter, drunk, and punk enough to smash the state. she's got ressentiment in spades, and she's also enough of a colossal fuck-up to be browsing guro porn when the people finally take the means of production

Unfortunately KGBeast is a DCAU character. :'(

spoiler (click to show/hide)
Who dies in the opening of one of the Suicide Squad movies. :maf
[close]

jakefromstatefarm

  • Senior Member
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #31 on: May 19, 2019, 01:14:01 AM »
Maybe DC was the one all along.
remember when they turned anarky into a rothbardian?

Re: cap; if we amend it to specifically the superego of a misc. poster then I’m all on board. He’s got way too much moral rectitude for a normal basement-dweller
spoiler (click to show/hide)
I probably would’ve gone back in time for Hayley Atwell :shaq2
[close]

Are x-men the vision of colorless liberal utopia in the post-lbj era or is that too obvious of a take?

Mandark

  • Icon
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #32 on: May 19, 2019, 01:16:21 AM »
Hawkeye is absolutely on Facebook commenting on Blue Lives Matter posts and sharing memes about the kids today and their sagging pants (all of which use at least five different fonts and have really bad compression artifacts).


edit: Tony Stark was absolutely a usenet troll but that was before post-but-not-really-ironic racism was the wave.

Himu

  • Senior Member
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #33 on: May 19, 2019, 01:18:40 AM »
Hawkeye is absolutely on Facebook commenting on Blue Lives Matter posts and sharing memes about the kids today and their sagging pants (all of which use at least five different fonts and have really bad compression artifacts).

The sagging pants thing is so weird because i see old people talk about it on facebook when it hasn't really en vogue literally all decade.
IYKYK

Mandark

  • Icon
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #34 on: May 19, 2019, 01:26:48 AM »
The sagging pants thing is so weird because i see old people talk about it on facebook when it hasn't really en vogue literally all decade.

At least old people have a built-in excuse for being 15-20 years behind on pop culture.

https://twitter.com/benshapiro/status/116002989570920448


spoiler (click to show/hide)
https://twitter.com/bradkelly17/status/997625334777380865

those tweets are equal parts naked racism and :doge
[close]

Kara

  • It was all going to be very admirable and noble and it would show us - philosophically - what it means to be human.
  • Senior Member
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #35 on: May 19, 2019, 01:38:39 AM »
I mentioned this in the LF thread recently but I always get popped by airport security when I fly. Anyway, when I was traveling last weekend I got popped as per usual and the agent who molested me flipped the heck out during my search and accused me of sagging my pants intentionally and repeatedly chastised me. :lol As far as he was concerned I was a cac in business attire too. :lol

That guy totally posts blue lives matter memes on Faceyb and is more likely than not to have fantasized about murdering a visible minority under the aegis of a badge.

Himu

  • Senior Member
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #36 on: May 19, 2019, 01:38:43 AM »
I mean, I do like the look of a bent brim compared to the flat brim look so I get that but still.
IYKYK

shosta

  • Y = λ𝑓. (λ𝑥. 𝑓 (𝑥 𝑥)) (λ𝑥. 𝑓 (𝑥 𝑥))
  • Senior Member
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #37 on: May 19, 2019, 01:43:12 AM »
No way, flat bill with the sticker on is still major swag
每天生气

Kara

  • It was all going to be very admirable and noble and it would show us - philosophically - what it means to be human.
  • Senior Member
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #38 on: May 19, 2019, 01:49:53 AM »
I bent the bill of my Cuba World Baseball Classic hat. Wonder how that gets assessed in the Ben rubric.

Mandark

  • Icon
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #39 on: May 19, 2019, 01:52:22 AM »
I mentioned this in the LF thread recently but I always get popped by airport security when I fly. Anyway, when I was traveling last weekend I got popped as per usual and the agent who molested me flipped the heck out during my search and accused me of sagging my pants intentionally and repeatedly chastised me. :lol As far as he was concerned I was a cac in business attire too. :lol

That guy totally posts blue lives matter memes on Faceyb and is more likely than not to have fantasized about murdering a visible minority under the aegis of a badge.

One of my friends worked with a guy who told a story about putting his TV right next to a street-facing window then staying up all night with his gun waiting for someone to try to steal it. This was in Baltimore. Nobody took the bait.

Himu

  • Senior Member
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #40 on: May 19, 2019, 01:56:22 AM »
No way, flat bill with the sticker on is still major swag

I think it looks wack. Like the niccas who leave the price tag on their clothes or the logo tag on their shoes. Tackiness.
IYKYK

Himu

  • Senior Member
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #41 on: May 19, 2019, 10:40:03 AM »
Who is the liberal with traditional values? Probably Cap. I like Cap then.
IYKYK

agrajag

  • Senior Member
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #42 on: May 19, 2019, 11:17:40 AM »
Hawkeye is absolutely on Facebook commenting on Blue Lives Matter posts and sharing memes about the kids today and their sagging pants (all of which use at least five different fonts and have really bad compression artifacts).

The sagging pants thing is so weird because i see old people talk about it on facebook when it hasn't really en vogue literally all decade.

try driving through the hood parts of miami then let's see. Maybe Florida is behind on fashion trends idk

Himu

  • Senior Member
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #43 on: May 19, 2019, 11:25:12 AM »
I’m black. I don’t need to drive to the hood to see black people. I notice black people everywhere I go by virtue of being black and the number of people I have seen people sagging in the last decade can be counted on one hand. One day dudes just said,”let’s stop sagging” “aight” and they did.

As for Florida, yeah. It’s definitely behind.
IYKYK

agrajag

  • Senior Member
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #44 on: May 19, 2019, 11:27:57 AM »
Well just because you're black doesn't mean all black people live one shared experience. I see people with sagged pants multiple times a day every day

 :yeshrug

Himu

  • Senior Member
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #45 on: May 19, 2019, 11:33:09 AM »
Didn’t say we all have a shared experience. Just noting that the trend of sagging is pretty much dead. I’ve witnessed this across multiple states and economic barriers. Unless you’re in Florida it seems.
IYKYK

Kara

  • It was all going to be very admirable and noble and it would show us - philosophically - what it means to be human.
  • Senior Member
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #46 on: May 19, 2019, 12:02:46 PM »
Hulk is literally an incel because he can't fuck. At least before Endgame, getting a boner = heart rate too elevate = Hulk Out and almost assuredly kill whatever woman he was trying to fuck in the process.

The dialectic itt. :whew

VomKriege

  • Do the moron
  • Senior Member
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #47 on: May 19, 2019, 12:10:36 PM »
Banner green pilled himself into a literal transformation which conveniently absolve him of any horrific outburst of anger (up to endangering lives) he might have at the tiniest contrariety.
ὕβρις

VomKriege

  • Do the moron
  • Senior Member
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #48 on: May 19, 2019, 12:13:48 PM »
I mean he even has a film blog. Try to tell me he's not a shut-in neckbeard.
ὕβρις

Crash Dummy

  • teleiophile
  • Member
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #49 on: May 19, 2019, 01:21:47 PM »
Hulk is literally an incel because he can't fuck. At least before Endgame, getting a boner = heart rate too elevate = Hulk Out and almost assuredly kill whatever woman he was trying to fuck in the process.
so what happens during a nocturnal emission?

CatsCatsCats

  • 🤷‍♀️
  • Senior Member
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #50 on: May 19, 2019, 01:29:44 PM »

Madrun Badrun

  • twin-anused mascot
  • Senior Member
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #51 on: May 19, 2019, 01:52:14 PM »
Ant man literally went to jail to expose corporate crimes - he's clearly the best lefty candidate. 

Van Cruncheon

  • live mas or die trying
  • Banned
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #52 on: May 19, 2019, 06:21:35 PM »
thanks, esch, for sending me down a wikihole on posadism instead of actively socializing with my peers

no, seriously
duc

Tripon

  • Teach by day, Sleep by night
  • Senior Member
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #53 on: May 19, 2019, 09:53:58 PM »
The one who went on a murder spree at the beginning of the movie.

toku

  • 𝕩𝕩𝕩
  • Senior Member
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #54 on: May 20, 2019, 12:05:58 AM »
Dr. Vahlen top waifu and she's a cold hearted monster that had no boundaries.

naff

  • someday you feed on a tree frog
  • Senior Member
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #55 on: May 20, 2019, 12:09:18 AM »
wouldn't be surprised if black widow was a white preservasionist

also def accused of being a russian bot on twitter a lot
◕‿◕

chronovore

  • relapsed dev
  • Senior Member
Re: insipid, dumb thread: who is the most alt right avenger?
« Reply #56 on: May 20, 2019, 12:43:06 AM »
hawkeye is just american sniper with a bow


Also his reaction to losing his place and power in the world was to get an undercut and go around killing minorities

This was literally what I was thinking, but you phrased it even better than I would have.