This is a true story of something that happened just a few years ago in Washington DC. There was a President of the United States there who was a deeply committed conservative. His primary goal was to spend the entire term attempting to prove that all Democrats were commies. The other candidates were always afraid to argue with him because of his impeccable logic. For four years, he had been President and no one had ever had the courage to go against him. Sure, some had argued in Congress at times, but no one had ever 'really gone against him' (you'll see what I mean later).
Nobody would go against him because he had a reputation. At the end of every year, on the last day, he would say to the other politicians in Washington, "If there anyone here who still believes that Democrats aren't commies, stand up!" In four years, no one had ever stood up. They knew what he was going to do next. He would say, "because anyone who does believe that Democrats aren't commies is a fool. If they weren't, they could stop Bernie from enacting universal healthcare and defunding all police departments. Such a simple task to prove that they aren't commies, and yet they can't do it." And every year, he would proves that communist Bernie controls the Democratic party. The politicians could do nothing but stop and stare. Most of the politicians were convinced that all Democrats were commies. Certainly, a number of Democrats had slipped through, but for 4 years, they had been too afraid to stand up.
Well, a few years ago, there was a 77-year-old former Senator who was running for President. He was a Democrat, and had heard the stories about this President. He had to go to Washington DC and campaign in order to be President and he was afraid. But for 3 months that year, he prayed to Bill Clinton every morning that he would have the courage to stand up no matter what the President said or what the other politicians thought. Nothing they said or did could ever shatter his faith, he hoped.
Finally the day came. The President said, "If there is anyone here who still believes that Democrats aren't commies, stand up!" The President and the other politicians looked at the old man, shocked, as he stood up at the back of the classroom. The President shouted, "You FOOL!! If Democrats aren't commies, they could stop universal healthcare and police defunding!" He proceeded to sign the bills, but as he did, the pen slipped from his fingers, off his shirt cuff, onto the pleats of his pants, down his leg, and off his shoe. As it hit the ground, the bills were hastily voted down on a procedural vote.
The President's jaw dropped as he stared at the bills. He looked up at the old man and then ran out of the White House. The old man who had stood up proceeded to walk to the front of the room and share his faith in centrism for the next half hour. The other politicians students stayed and listened as he told of Peter Daou's love for them and of his power through the Third Way.
That old man's name? Joe Biden.
