Author Topic: Random talk thread: It just keeps happening (Read 2043744 times)

TVC15 · « **Reply #32220 on:** August 12, 2018, 02:46:44 PM »

I have to go into Ramen Shop to fill my belly with vegan ramen. I expect there to be at least one military escort site in here by the time I return.

Momo · « **Reply #32221 on:** August 12, 2018, 02:46:51 PM »

Quote from: TVC 15 on August 12, 2018, 02:44:20 PM

Quote from: Shostakovich on August 12, 2018, 02:42:01 PM
Quote from: TVC 15 on August 12, 2018, 02:34:21 PM
Still, get a kitten and a buff military man escort.
how about I just get a ticket to OAK and you can read to me The Portait of Dorian Gray while I bake you cookies in spandex.

The Picture of Dorian Gray, padawan. Pull down them spandex, that’s a paddlin’ from a buff military man escort.

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TVC15 · « **Reply #32222 on:** August 12, 2018, 02:54:22 PM »

Shit, there’s this gorgeous aryan dude in here that would have me voting Nazi in a second.

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #32223 on:** August 12, 2018, 02:56:51 PM »

Quote from: TVC 15 on August 12, 2018, 02:46:44 PM

I have to go into Ramen Shop to fill my belly with vegan ramen. I expect there to be at least one military escort site in here by the time I return.

HardcoreRetro · « **Reply #32224 on:** August 12, 2018, 03:06:18 PM »

Quote from: KennyLoggins on August 12, 2018, 02:35:35 PM

Let's see what old Sigmund Freud has to say.

"Go fuck your mom, literally."

Stro · « **Reply #32225 on:** August 12, 2018, 03:11:18 PM »

Quote from: TVC 15 on August 12, 2018, 02:54:22 PM

Shit, there’s this gorgeous aryan dude in here that would have me voting Nazi in a second.

That man's name?

Bernie Sanders

shosta · « **Reply #32226 on:** August 12, 2018, 04:13:47 PM »

I think this is what being fired from a passive aggressive company looks like. Geez, can't wait for my "promotion" even though no one has scheduled me for training yet.

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agrajag · « **Reply #32227 on:** August 12, 2018, 04:16:25 PM »

that's what happen when you try to ruin your boss's marriage

EVOL · « **Reply #32228 on:** August 13, 2018, 03:23:25 AM »

Just saw some dude roid raging in a bank over a lady working there telling him to read a piece of paper before they could transfer his money. Thought of intervening but the guy's biceps were the size of my thighs, so I just noped the fuck outta there. Hope nothing bad happened.

Quote from: Shostakovich on August 12, 2018, 02:30:59 PM

You guys misunderstand. I am not consistently depressed, I just meant I felt this way last night and this morning. And it's ruining my day off. So I will definitely medically induce a coma around 5pm today and become conscious again just in time for work next morning.

How about taking up a solitary sport if you don't feel like dealing with people when you're feeling down? I started skateboarding a few months ago and it's been doing wonders for my mental health.

Kara · « **Reply #32229 on:** August 13, 2018, 03:35:54 AM »

Cycling is also good for solitary sport, and if you don't want to be solitary anymore you can always pick up a group ride and get dropped on the reg.

It's expensive as heck, though.

HardcoreRetro · « **Reply #32230 on:** August 13, 2018, 04:41:04 AM »

Fishing is my go-to pastime when I feel like crap. If you just concentrate on the lure it's basically meditation outdoors.

shosta · « **Reply #32231 on:** August 13, 2018, 11:26:51 AM »

Quote from: agrajag on August 12, 2018, 02:32:55 PM

Ah yes, that will surely make you feel better tomorrow morning.

So, uh, I feel like I went to hell and back

I had ten drinks, felt extremely miserable, went to bed, and had some crazy fucking rum dreams that explained my current life pretty clearly to me. It was a truly cathartic experience. Like a vision quest. Very painful, but awakening. When I got up this morning I knew exactly what to do. Now I feel ok. Take that, agrajag.

Momo · « **Reply #32232 on:** August 13, 2018, 11:32:12 AM »

We should go on a real vision quest, meet somewhere deep in the Namibian desert, i'll bring the agents of choas, you bring a tent and a couple of liters of kool aid.

agrajag · « **Reply #32233 on:** August 13, 2018, 02:06:01 PM »

Listen Shosta, you do you.

toku · « **Reply #32234 on:** August 13, 2018, 04:05:37 PM »

Rum will shift your consciousness.

shosta · « **Reply #32235 on:** August 13, 2018, 04:29:06 PM »

Also, last night I found out I'm allergic to rum.

TVC15 · « **Reply #32236 on:** August 13, 2018, 04:35:07 PM »

Quote from: Momo on August 13, 2018, 11:32:12 AM

We should go on a real vision quest, meet somewhere deep in the Namibian desert, i'll bring the agents of choas, you bring a tent and a couple of liters of kool aid.

How about we just get a bunch of male military escorts to ritualistically run a train on him as I read meaningful passages about THAC0 from the AD&D 2nd Edition Dungeon Master’s Guide at Borecon 3: Point Pleasant, WV?

Maiden Voyage · « **Reply #32237 on:** August 13, 2018, 05:16:21 PM »

What did you need to do when you woke up?

Kara · « **Reply #32238 on:** August 13, 2018, 05:23:57 PM »

Quote from: Momo on August 13, 2018, 11:32:12 AM

We should go on a real vision quest, meet somewhere deep in the Namibian desert, i'll bring the agents of choas, you bring a tent and a couple of liters of kool aid.

Finally, a chance to use my anachronistic Afrikaans.

shosta · « **Reply #32239 on:** August 13, 2018, 06:41:27 PM »

Quote from: Maiden Voyage on August 13, 2018, 05:16:21 PM

What did you need to do when you woke up?

Give up on my dad and start looking for a new job.

Kara · « **Reply #32240 on:** August 14, 2018, 06:42:05 PM »

At this point in my life I'm fairly indifferent to the ineptitude of bourgeois fail children, but today I got back electronic filing authorizations for some trusts where the fail child signed on the electronic return originator lines instead of the fiduciary's lines even though they'd had huge honking SIGN HERE stickers on them.

brawndolicious · « **Reply #32241 on:** August 15, 2018, 12:08:03 AM »

I had that happen with a couple VPs as their titles but not their names was on the signing line.

My manager laughed and said I will have to hold their hands more so I wrote their names on the "sign here" labels for the next stages of that project.

I'm a Puppy! · « **Reply #32242 on:** August 15, 2018, 12:14:46 PM »

Can't say anything. But something for a company is coming that will make national news in the next few weeks/months.
I get a front seat to this fuckery. Typically I'd rejoice but this is almost beyond even my propensity for schadenfreude ....almost

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Nintex · « **Reply #32243 on:** August 15, 2018, 12:18:05 PM »

Quote from: I'm a Puppy! on August 15, 2018, 12:14:46 PM

Can't say anything. But something for a company is coming that will make national news in the next few weeks/months.
I get a front seat to this fuckery. Typically I'd rejoice but this is almost beyond even my propensity for schadenfreude ....almost
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I knew they'd cancel Crackdown 3.

Kara · « **Reply #32244 on:** August 15, 2018, 12:23:14 PM »

That's a pretty bold claim in an era where every thing the dumbass white supremacist president does becomes a 36+ hour news cycle phenomenon.

I'm a Puppy! · « **Reply #32245 on:** August 15, 2018, 12:29:06 PM »

That's true, I forgot about the Trump effect

Kara · « **Reply #32246 on:** August 15, 2018, 12:35:12 PM »

Sounds like someone murdered Nintex in the digital realm.

I'm a Puppy! · « **Reply #32247 on:** August 15, 2018, 02:59:18 PM »

Also, had a dream last night where my wife demanded I call her "Magic Tits"
I can't get it out of my head now. I'm worried I'm going to call her Magic Tits in public, like in front of her mom or something

bork · « **Reply #32248 on:** August 17, 2018, 10:18:18 AM »

Secretary: I need to import my address book contacts from this program.
Me: OK, do you know where the address book was backed up to?
Secretary: I don't know. The program was updated a month ago.
Me: Let's see. There's two address books on your desktop, but both were backed up last year.
Secretary: But I need to import some recent contacts!
Me: That's going to be tricky without knowing where or if your recent address book was backed up.
Secretary: I have the contacts in the program.
Me: ...............
Me: So you want to EXPORT them, then?
Secretary: No. I want to import them to my desktop. You know...back them up.
Me:

Me: OK, so to make sure- you want to take the address book out of this program and put it onto your desktop?
Secretary: That's correct. I need to import and send the file to someone.
Me: That would be exporting them, then.
Secretary: No, I-
Me: Let's give that a try.
Exported the address book file to the desktop.
Me: The address book is now on your desktop.
Secretary: Oh, so it was exporting then?

VomKriege · « **Reply #32249 on:** August 17, 2018, 06:25:40 PM »

Had to call a vet to come for my cat (the male) who apparently had trouble to pee. It happened under a year ago and this time he has a... probe ? Have to find a vet to retrieve it tomorrow. They were supposed to move with my ex tomorrow but it will have to wait, at least for him. For the moment he's mostly just a bit groggy and vexed but I'm probably not gonna sleep a ton.

Pets

Valkyrie · « **Reply #32250 on:** August 17, 2018, 07:22:55 PM »

Hope your pet turns out fine. Pets should live forever. I have a theory they have short lives only so we won’t end up taking them for granted after a while.

Bebpo · « **Reply #32251 on:** August 17, 2018, 11:10:16 PM »

I need to wear Stitch on my back for a disney thing I am going to and the Stitch backpacks they sell look lame. If I just buy a Stitch plushie and put some suspenders or a belt across it, should that work for keeping it in place like a backpack?

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #32252 on:** August 17, 2018, 11:12:24 PM »

https://www.amazon.com/Fetish-Bondage-Leather-Chest-Harness/dp/

Quote from: Bebpo on August 17, 2018, 11:10:16 PM

I need to wear Stitch on my back for a disney thing I am going to and the Stitch backpacks they sell look lame. If I just buy a Stitch plushie and put some suspenders or a belt across it, should that work for keeping it in place like a backpack?

Attach it to one of these

https://www.amazon.com/Fetish-Bondage-Leather-Chest-Harness/dp/B0196QDY8I

shosta · « **Reply #32253 on:** August 17, 2018, 11:32:35 PM »

I really, really need a massage. Someone to get out the coconut oil and rub me down. How much do I have to pay you guys?

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #32254 on:** August 18, 2018, 12:43:05 AM »

500$ for kissing. $10000 for snuggling. End of list.

Bebpo · « **Reply #32255 on:** August 18, 2018, 06:22:04 AM »

So I just found out today from my hair stylist what estheticians are, aka do beauty grooming stuff.

This totally explains why one time when I was on a dating site messaging a gal that listed esthetician as her job, that when I asked her what it was like working with corpses she unmatched me. For some reason I thought an esthetician was like a mortician and did stuff with dead bodies. Whoops.

VomKriege · « **Reply #32256 on:** August 18, 2018, 06:45:57 AM »

Quote from: Valkyrie on August 17, 2018, 07:22:55 PM

Hope your pet turns out fine. Pets should live forever. I have a theory they have short lives only so we won’t end up taking them for granted after a while.

He's fine. He'll stay at the vet over the weekend. They'll remove the canal Monday and we'll see from there if he can pee normally.

nudemacusers · « **Reply #32257 on:** August 18, 2018, 08:00:50 AM »

Quote from: Shostakovich on August 17, 2018, 11:32:35 PM

I really, really need a massage. Someone to get out the coconut oil and rub me down. How much do I have to pay you guys?

$60 + $40 for finish

Momo · « **Reply #32258 on:** August 18, 2018, 08:04:31 AM »

counter offer $59.99 + $39.99. sorry nude, trying to run a business here

nudemacusers · « **Reply #32259 on:** August 18, 2018, 08:06:44 AM »

Quote from: TVC 15 on August 12, 2018, 02:46:44 PM

I have to go into Ramen Shop to fill my belly with vegan ramen. I expect there to be at least one military escort site in here by the time I return.

It appears rent.men is the place to go.

Nintex · « **Reply #32260 on:** August 18, 2018, 12:06:42 PM »

Michelle Wolf's show has been cancelled by Netflix. And I'm reading takes I just don't know what's going on anymore

Quote

Sanders as having “the Mario Batali of personalities,” and in a more recent episode when she dared to go after Bill Clinton for the way he treated Monica Lewinsky. “People can debate what kind of apology Bill owes Monica, but one thing he owes her for sure: oral,” she joked. Both segments would have been impossible for a male host to pull off.

https://www.thedailybeast.com/netflixs-classless-cancellation-of-michelle-wolfs-the-break

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Impossible to make it not funny maybe

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toku · « **Reply #32261 on:** August 18, 2018, 01:16:05 PM »

the algorithm has spoken

team filler · « **Reply #32262 on:** August 19, 2018, 12:20:31 AM »

willing to pay with your asshole?

Momo · « **Reply #32263 on:** August 19, 2018, 11:13:08 AM »

Kinda heartbroken today friends. I'm going to drink strawberry juice to cheer me up.

shosta · « **Reply #32264 on:** August 19, 2018, 11:15:29 AM »

We gonna watch a movie or nah, momo?

Momo · « **Reply #32265 on:** August 19, 2018, 11:19:01 AM »

Quote from: Shostakovich on August 19, 2018, 11:15:29 AM

We gonna watch a movie or nah, momo?

oh what do you have in mind?

shosta · « **Reply #32266 on:** August 19, 2018, 11:22:09 AM »

I dunno. I watched Ready Player One yesterday and need to get the taste out of my mouth. I still haven't actually watched Naked Lunch. I'm also in the mood for a good interpersonal drama, maybe.

Momo · « **Reply #32267 on:** August 19, 2018, 11:24:17 AM »

Have you watched A Taxi Driver?

toku · « **Reply #32268 on:** August 19, 2018, 11:29:19 AM »

let the love flow out momo

shosta · « **Reply #32269 on:** August 19, 2018, 11:32:59 AM »

I haven't. I love Korea cinema.

Momo · « **Reply #32270 on:** August 19, 2018, 11:47:56 AM »

I found it on a streaming site, when do you want to watch?

shosta · « **Reply #32271 on:** August 19, 2018, 12:00:59 PM »

Maybe in an hour?

Momo · « **Reply #32272 on:** August 19, 2018, 12:06:06 PM »

Atramental · « **Reply #32273 on:** August 19, 2018, 04:03:37 PM »

Quote from: KissVibes on August 18, 2018, 11:05:44 PM

I’m leaving my job on the 29th and as a parting gift I’m going to install a picture of Napoleon crossing the Alps inside the mutual office space I share with my peers. Only, my face has been photoshopped onto it. I need someone to help me accomplish this stupid ass endeavor. Will pay for your hard work.

PM me the pics and I’ll run with it. 👍