Random talk thread: It just keeps happening

[team filler]

your habits are your own to build. always feels easier to continue one that's bad for you, than to build a new one that's good for you. really it's much harder on you continuing on like that, despite how you feel at the time.

[shosta]

in second semester chemistry they made us memorize IUPAC prefixes for parent chains. 5-10 are easy because they're greek roots (pent, hex, hep, and so on) so that just leaves methane, ethan, propane, and butane. I immediately went, ok, M-E-P-Butane, "me pee butt". And I thought that was ridiculous, and that I'd come up with a better acronym later. But I never did. To this day, if I need to name a chain of carbons I say "me pee butt" in my head

[BlueTsunami]

Did brakes and rotors on my ride yesterday. Took most of the day but was still satisfying af

[bork]

Was off yesterday and didn't basically do shit the whole weekend, it was glorious.

I did go drive to get an emission test done down the street.  First place was closed with a sign saying they wouldn't be doing tests for a month or so, and yet the guy was clearly sitting in the little building, door closed, fucking around on the computer in there.     Went a bit more down the street to another place, and waited 15 minutes, only to be told "your car is a 2019 model- you don't need a test this year and next year." 

[team filler]

While there is a junior member class, I am in it; and while there is a problematic element, I am of it; and while there is a soul in permabanishment, I am not free 

[BIONIC]

While there is a junior member class, I am in it; and while there is a problematic element, I am of it; and while there is a soul in permabanishment, I am not free 

[bork]

Caller: I got a message that my WiFi adapter is disabled.  Can you remote-assist me and take a look?
Me: Ah, sorry- I'm not going to be able to do that.
Caller: Why not?
Me: Because you're not online.
Caller: Oh.

 

[BlueTsunami]

Got a 5G phone recently



😮

[VomKriege]

in second semester chemistry they made us memorize IUPAC prefixes for parent chains. 5-10 are easy because they're greek roots (pent, hex, hep, and so on) so that just leaves methane, ethan, propane, and butane. I immediately went, ok, M-E-P-Butane, "me pee butt". And I thought that was ridiculous, and that I'd come up with a better acronym later. But I never did. To this day, if I need to name a chain of carbons I say "me pee butt" in my head

 

[team filler]

Got a 5G phone recently



😮

[BlueTsunami]

Now I can stream 120fps porn 

[Nintex]

Chernobyl be like, 'hey remember me?'

https://twitter.com/FarhangNamdar/status/1248931089936265216

[team filler]

went to a local farm stand https://www.instagram.com/dare2dreamfarms/  to buy some veggies, they also sell dairy products. I grabbed some yogurt and just now took a better look at it, it's made from raw milk  ate a little and it tastes alright  should I eat the rest of it 

[EchoRin]

How do I become more positive? I used to be a very positive person. Now I'm crabby, anal, and overly negative. Any suggestions with this?

Are you able to limit things that bring you to a negative state of mind?

News - If you find that news makes you negative try to not be engrossed in it so frequently. Just check once or twice a day the main headlines to get the general idea of what is what and leave it be. No good being ignorant, but also no good to get obsessed and just pummel your head over and over with "gosh everything is terrible. I ought to be miserable. It's justified see?" Way too much that is newsworthy is out of our hands anyways, so just comprehend it, but don't let it take over you.

Message boards - the Bore miraculously doesn't bum me out, outside of the other forums thread. However I do remember GAF and then RE totally bringing me down. If that's the case for you. Limit it. It's a habit that's a little tough to break since it seems like all of here are on this site multiple times throughout the day (I have a tab on my phone that I never close for example). Step away from message board X that is bringing you down and after you return in a few days find out if the board itself is just not for you or if the key is to take smaller doses of it.

Physical activity - Are you in a state where you do nothing but only sit and walk? Try something that gets your body moving. Playing catch with a friend (tossing a frisbee/baseball/football), a bike ride, running/jogging (that's my thing with the weather allow it slowly), gym. Sometimes after a longer time of doing jack with my body I find out that "oh man I'm just tired and sort of low" and it's because I'm letting my body be utterly lazy. This can potentially help you with your mood. I'm not one of those people who goes "gee whiz you're depressed? Then you ought to exercise and your depression will go away." I know that's a bullshit thing to say to  person with clinical depression. All I'm saying is that physical activity can improve your negative attitude. It's not a 100% guarantee.

Comfort food - I guess in the literal sense. You like that Hershey Pie? I do. So now and then I'll buy that cause it makes me happy. Though I feel like a dick on one hand for saying this because I just don't get fat. And seeing that there are people who don't have that luxury I guess I would say don't overindulge in that food? But then there are other comfort foods that aren't food. Enjoying some game that you love that gives you good vibes. Listening to music you like that doesn't have negative connotations to you. Watching a compilation of cats being stupid.

Friends - A good support group that doesn't even have to know they are supporting you. A good group of friends can keep you in a positive headspace and even motivate you  (again without them even being aware). Shitty friends man, that just sucks and can't be good for your state of mind.

I don't know. Some thoughts. Maybe obvious maybe not. I hope things get better for you Cindi.

edit: you can swap out the same thing I said about news and message boards with social media in general too.

[bork]

Was thinking the other day how bad it might be if Internet went down.  Guess what?! 

Heard a pretty loud noise about an hour ago- sounded like either a lightning strike just outside or a small explosion.  Have power, but my wireless router is dead and my AT&T modem has a stuck red light, which I think translates to "you're fucked."  Couldn't get through to their CS line either.  The phone just rang after I went the queue.   

I'm OK for now since I have my work phone hot spot.  Using it now and it's pretty fast.  Tried doing a test online and the AT&T troubleshooting service couldn't do anything, so it said an order was in for a new modem.  Hope it's just the equipment and not the cables that got affected.

[VomKriege]

Was thinking the other day how bad it might be if Internet went down.  Guess what?! 

Heard a pretty loud noise about an hour ago- sounded like either a lightning strike just outside or a small explosion.  Have power, but my wireless router is dead and my AT&T modem has a stuck red light, which I think translates to "you're fucked."  Couldn't get through to their CS line either.  The phone just rang after I went the queue.   

I'm OK for now since I have my work phone hot spot.  Using it now and it's pretty fast.  Tried doing a test online and the AT&T troubleshooting service couldn't do anything, so it said an order was in for a new modem.  Hope it's just the equipment and not the cables that got affected.

Somewhere on the internet an IT technician from your ISP is posting a transcript of the call he had with you.

[Stro]

Was thinking the other day how bad it might be if Internet went down.  Guess what?! 

Heard a pretty loud noise about an hour ago- sounded like either a lightning strike just outside or a small explosion.  Have power, but my wireless router is dead and my AT&T modem has a stuck red light, which I think translates to "you're fucked."  Couldn't get through to their CS line either.  The phone just rang after I went the queue.   

I'm OK for now since I have my work phone hot spot.  Using it now and it's pretty fast.  Tried doing a test online and the AT&T troubleshooting service couldn't do anything, so it said an order was in for a new modem.  Hope it's just the equipment and not the cables that got affected.

A few nights ago during a storm, the cable/phone/internet went out and ended up all being out for about 16 hours, well into morning work hours so get fucked work from homers in this neighborhood 

[bork]

Was thinking the other day how bad it might be if Internet went down.  Guess what?! 

Heard a pretty loud noise about an hour ago- sounded like either a lightning strike just outside or a small explosion.  Have power, but my wireless router is dead and my AT&T modem has a stuck red light, which I think translates to "you're fucked."  Couldn't get through to their CS line either.  The phone just rang after I went the queue.   

I'm OK for now since I have my work phone hot spot.  Using it now and it's pretty fast.  Tried doing a test online and the AT&T troubleshooting service couldn't do anything, so it said an order was in for a new modem.  Hope it's just the equipment and not the cables that got affected.

A few nights ago during a storm, the cable/phone/internet went out and ended up all being out for about 16 hours, well into morning work hours so get fucked work from homers in this neighborhood 

This is just me, I think- no outages listed and I see plenty of other wireless networks available.  This hotspot connection is working great, otherwise I'd be fucked.  Feel bad for my wife, though.  Guess she can use her phone for stuff, but no TV until this is resolved and she's gonna be bored as hell.

[naff]

Got a 5G phone recently



😮

eh, what does a 5g phone mean?

i get those speeds on the cheapest nz 4g network (50mbps down, 40 up rn)

[Joe Molotov]

Got a 5G phone recently



😮

congratulations on your coronavirus infection!

[BlueTsunami]

Got a 5G phone recently



😮

eh, what does a 5g phone mean?

i get those speeds on the cheapest nz 4g network (50mbps down, 40 up rn)

The mobile network in the US isnt as dense and fast. 5G is the new Gen rollout and Tmobile is at the front of it. I was getting probably 20mbs down on 4G. And 5G phone as in being able to utilize those bands. I got an LGV60

[bork]

Caller: Yes, hi, I'm trying to reach Bork.
Me: Can I ask who's calling?
Caller: This is NAME from COMPANY.
Me: Can I ask why you're calling?
Caller: No.  Please connect me to Bork.
Me: I'm sorry; this is an internal line only for members of this firm.
Caller: Look, this is NOT a sales call.  We deal with Bork all the time.  PUT HIM ON.
Me: Interesting, because I'm Bork and I've never heard of you.
*awkward silence*
Me: Goodbye!

[team filler]

nachobro is a cosmic guey

[nachobro]

cosmic guerro

[BIONIC]

filler is a cosmic goy 

[team filler]

 

[Nintex]

Wow, I'm officially a victim of SEXTORTION 

Here's what that looks like:

I am aware, ****, is your pass word.

I need your full attention for the coming Twenty-four hrs, or I may make sure you that you live out of embarrassment for the rest of your life span.

Hi, you do not know me. But I know every thing regarding you. Your present fb contact list, mobile phone contacts along with all the digital activity in your computer from past 126 days.

Which includes, your self pleasure video clips, which brings me to the main reason why I am crafting this e mail to you.

Well the last time you visited the porn material webpages, my malware was triggered inside your computer which ended up recording a eye-catching footage of your masturbation play simply by activating your webcam.
(you got a seriously unusual taste by the way lmao)

I own the entire recording. If you feel I 'm fooling around, just reply proof and I will be forwarding the particular recording randomly to 6 people you recognize.

It may be your friend, co workers, boss, mother and father (I'm not sure! My software program will randomly pick the contacts).

Will you be capable to look into anyone's eyes again after it? I question that...

However, doesn't necessarily have to be that path.

I'm going to make you a 1 time, non negotiable offer.

Get $ 2000 in bitcoin and send them on the below address:

[SHOSTABITCOINADDRESS???]
[case sensitive copy & paste it, and remove *** from it]

(If you do not know how, look online how to purchase bitcoin. Do not waste my precious time)

If you send this particular 'donation' (why don't we call this that?). Immediately after that, I will go away and never get in touch with you again. I will eliminate everything I have about you. You may very well proceed living your regular day to day life with zero concern.

You've 24 hours in order to do so. Your time starts as soon you read this mail. I have got an unique program code that will tell me once you read this email so don't try to play smart.

The password was actually an old password that checks out.

I did what every good citizen would do and added it to the bitcoin abuse database:
https://www.bitcoinabuse.com/reports/bc1qzua7jfnru6he9d2htyw4nyyqrmrkgn727ce8fe

I'm actually thinking about replying to this to see how much I can annoy the person behind this.
How he says not to waste his precious time makes it all the more enticing. 

But the email is probably a no-reply thing. 

[EchoRin]

Gave my old ass laptop a full system restore to factory settings. There were weird little things going on with it and it was time to reorganize what I needed and didn't once again after quite some time. Hopefully when all these 146 updates install it won't mess up my old grandpa laptop again.

[Transhuman]

Wow, I'm officially a victim of SEXTORTION 

Here's what that looks like:

I am aware, ****, is your pass word.

I need your full attention for the coming Twenty-four hrs, or I may make sure you that you live out of embarrassment for the rest of your life span.

Hi, you do not know me. But I know every thing regarding you. Your present fb contact list, mobile phone contacts along with all the digital activity in your computer from past 126 days.

Which includes, your self pleasure video clips, which brings me to the main reason why I am crafting this e mail to you.

Well the last time you visited the porn material webpages, my malware was triggered inside your computer which ended up recording a eye-catching footage of your masturbation play simply by activating your webcam.
(you got a seriously unusual taste by the way lmao)

I own the entire recording. If you feel I 'm fooling around, just reply proof and I will be forwarding the particular recording randomly to 6 people you recognize.

It may be your friend, co workers, boss, mother and father (I'm not sure! My software program will randomly pick the contacts).

Will you be capable to look into anyone's eyes again after it? I question that...

However, doesn't necessarily have to be that path.

I'm going to make you a 1 time, non negotiable offer.

Get $ 2000 in bitcoin and send them on the below address:

[SHOSTABITCOINADDRESS???]
[case sensitive copy & paste it, and remove *** from it]

(If you do not know how, look online how to purchase bitcoin. Do not waste my precious time)

If you send this particular 'donation' (why don't we call this that?). Immediately after that, I will go away and never get in touch with you again. I will eliminate everything I have about you. You may very well proceed living your regular day to day life with zero concern.

You've 24 hours in order to do so. Your time starts as soon you read this mail. I have got an unique program code that will tell me once you read this email so don't try to play smart.

The password was actually an old password that checks out.

I did what every good citizen would do and added it to the bitcoin abuse database:
https://www.bitcoinabuse.com/reports/bc1qzua7jfnru6he9d2htyw4nyyqrmrkgn727ce8fe

I'm actually thinking about replying to this to see how much I can annoy the person behind this.
How he says not to waste his precious time makes it all the more enticing. 

But the email is probably a no-reply thing. 

Do it bitch

[bork]

Caller: Hi Bork, I was just talking to you about my issue.
Me: Sorry, that wasn't me.
Caller: Are you sure?
Me: Yes.
Caller: OK, well I'm not getting emails in Outlook this morning.
Me: Does it say "working offline" on the bottom-right?
Caller: No?  Where would I see this?
Me: On the lower-right side of the Outlook window.
Caller: No, it doesn't say that anywhere.
Me: OK, let me connect and take a look.
Me: ...It says "working offline."
Caller: What?! Where does it say this??
Me: Right here, on the lower right-side of the window.
Caller: Oh.

   

[archnemesis]

That reminds me of when I helped a user finding the recycle bin.

[bork]

Yesterday I spoke with someone who wanted to format a PDF.  It was put together kind of strangely and I couldn't do what she was asking, so I suggested she contact what is essentially our word processing department (who she should have asked in the first place) for help.

This morning, she called back.

Caller: I need help with a PDF.  I want to change some text, but it's not working!
Me: ....Is this the same PDF from yesterday?
Caller: ......... ...........
Caller: ...uh...no, it's not.
Me:    OK, let me hop on and see what's going on.
(Naturally, it's the same PDF)
Me: Did you contact the WP department for assistance? 
Caller: Yes, but it took them like EIGHT HOURS to get back to me and they have new staff and I don't know and I don't want to contact them and I'd rather call you guys to do it until they have act together.
Me: Well, unfortunately, there's only so much we can do.  This is exactly what they're here for.
Caller: But I don't want to talk to them!
Me:  .....
Me: OK, let's look at the document. 
Caller: I just want to move this text block here over to here!  I don't understand why this is so hard!  It's this program.  NO OFFENSE, but this program SUCKS!
Me: ( ) It's not the program, it's the document.  It's a PDF- you can't format quite the same way or as easily as say, Word.
Caller: BUT WHY NOT!  THIS IS SO STUPID!  THIS PROGRAM IS TO BLAME.
Me: It has to do with how the PDF was created and formatted.  This one is a little odd- I have an idea.  I'm going to export this page to .TIFF, then we can just cut and paste the text.  And...done.  Hmm...it's giving an error when I try to import it back into the PDF, though.  I can--
Caller: This is ridiculous.  You know what?  I have this as a Word document- it was originally a Word file.  I just wanted to convert it to PDF and edit it there!  I'll just edit the Word version and turn it back into a PDF. 



...

WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU DO THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE?!  FUUUUUUCK

[team filler]

this is great beer, brehs

[bork]

Caller: I just want to make sure I'm not going crazy here and have this right.  If a document shows it was checked IN, then checked OUT, nobody edited it, right?  No modifications done.
Me: If it was checked out, it means that the person may be still working on--
Caller: NO.  They didn't.  I mean it was checked IN, checked OUT- no edits.
Me: Again, if it shows as checked OUT, it means they could still be working on it.
Caller: NO, THEY DIDN'T MAKE ANY EDITS.
Me: .....
Me: Do you mean "checked OUT, then checked IN?"
Caller: Uh...oh.  Yeah.  That's what I mean.
Me:   Yes, that's correct then.  No edits made and successfully checked back in.
Caller: So again just be to sure, if they check it IN then OUT, it's good right?

[VomKriege]

Going to break curfew, drink wine, eat & watch Tiger King with that one friend like every Friday.
 

[Madrun Badrun]

Really though my dog was having a stroke 5 minutes ago and now she seems fine.  She wouldn't put any weight on her left legs and when I got her to sit, she almost rolled over backwards.  Pretty scary. 

[team filler]

was it 300 dollars tho?

came in a box with two other bottles of "award winning beers". store owner let me have it for 25$ as it was sitting on the shelf collecting dust 

[Nintex]

Wow, I'm officially a victim of SEXTORTION 

Here's what that looks like:

I am aware, ****, is your pass word.

I need your full attention for the coming Twenty-four hrs, or I may make sure you that you live out of embarrassment for the rest of your life span.

Hi, you do not know me. But I know every thing regarding you. Your present fb contact list, mobile phone contacts along with all the digital activity in your computer from past 126 days.

Which includes, your self pleasure video clips, which brings me to the main reason why I am crafting this e mail to you.

Well the last time you visited the porn material webpages, my malware was triggered inside your computer which ended up recording a eye-catching footage of your masturbation play simply by activating your webcam.
(you got a seriously unusual taste by the way lmao)

I own the entire recording. If you feel I 'm fooling around, just reply proof and I will be forwarding the particular recording randomly to 6 people you recognize.

It may be your friend, co workers, boss, mother and father (I'm not sure! My software program will randomly pick the contacts).

Will you be capable to look into anyone's eyes again after it? I question that...

However, doesn't necessarily have to be that path.

I'm going to make you a 1 time, non negotiable offer.

Get $ 2000 in bitcoin and send them on the below address:

[SHOSTABITCOINADDRESS???]
[case sensitive copy & paste it, and remove *** from it]

(If you do not know how, look online how to purchase bitcoin. Do not waste my precious time)

If you send this particular 'donation' (why don't we call this that?). Immediately after that, I will go away and never get in touch with you again. I will eliminate everything I have about you. You may very well proceed living your regular day to day life with zero concern.

You've 24 hours in order to do so. Your time starts as soon you read this mail. I have got an unique program code that will tell me once you read this email so don't try to play smart.

The password was actually an old password that checks out.

I did what every good citizen would do and added it to the bitcoin abuse database:
https://www.bitcoinabuse.com/reports/bc1qzua7jfnru6he9d2htyw4nyyqrmrkgn727ce8fe

I'm actually thinking about replying to this to see how much I can annoy the person behind this.
How he says not to waste his precious time makes it all the more enticing. 

But the email is probably a no-reply thing. 

Do it bitch

I have two options

1: lmao bro
Sorry, only registered users can see this content. Please Login or Register.


2: ruining this guys life forever
Sorry, only registered users can see this content. Please Login or Register.

[DJ Bedroom]

Any of you fuckin nerds wear hockey jerseys? Should I get one a size down from what I normally wear for it to fit better?

[team filler]

kings?

[DJ Bedroom]

Maple leafs cause only Canadians are allowed to play hockey well

spoiler (click to show/hide)

who am I kidding that's not even true anymore

[close]

[team filler]

 

[team filler]

what sounds good? 

what touches the soul? 

[EchoRin]

Are jerseys on sale right now? Cause I would just stop by somewhere and try it on. The official gear is gonna be the same for all teams so even if the store you go to won't have your team you can see what size would be ideal. I realize that's not the best advice at the moment, but I left all my jerseys back at my folks place and haven't thought about jersey sizes in forever.

[VomKriege]

Any of you fuckin nerds wear hockey jerseys? Should I get one a size down from what I normally wear for it to fit better?

I've got a Canucks one that is 2 sizes too big... But honestly form fitting for a jersey seems weird.

[nachobro]

yeah you buy a jersey to be extra big, or at least i always have

[CatsCatsCats]

You’re supposed to maintain the illusion that pads go under there

[VomKriege]

They make you look like a fucking idiot.

That CCCP swag tho.

[nachobro]

 

[toku]

Hockey jersey's in particular will make you look like an idiot if you go too big. They're really goofy without pads.

[nachobro]

easy solution: get a raidahs jersey instead

[DJ Bedroom]

Maybe I'll just light a hundred bucks on fire instead

[bork]

Yesterday I spoke with someone who wanted to format a PDF.  It was put together kind of strangely and I couldn't do what she was asking, so I suggested she contact what is essentially our word processing department (who she should have asked in the first place) for help.

This morning, she called back.

Caller: I need help with a PDF.  I want to change some text, but it's not working!
Me: ....Is this the same PDF from yesterday?
Caller: ......... ...........
Caller: ...uh...no, it's not.
Me:    OK, let me hop on and see what's going on.
(Naturally, it's the same PDF)
Me: Did you contact the WP department for assistance? 
Caller: Yes, but it took them like EIGHT HOURS to get back to me and they have new staff and I don't know and I don't want to contact them and I'd rather call you guys to do it until they have act together.
Me: Well, unfortunately, there's only so much we can do.  This is exactly what they're here for.
Caller: But I don't want to talk to them!
Me:  .....
Me: OK, let's look at the document. 
Caller: I just want to move this text block here over to here!  I don't understand why this is so hard!  It's this program.  NO OFFENSE, but this program SUCKS!
Me: ( ) It's not the program, it's the document.  It's a PDF- you can't format quite the same way or as easily as say, Word.
Caller: BUT WHY NOT!  THIS IS SO STUPID!  THIS PROGRAM IS TO BLAME.
Me: It has to do with how the PDF was created and formatted.  This one is a little odd- I have an idea.  I'm going to export this page to .TIFF, then we can just cut and paste the text.  And...done.  Hmm...it's giving an error when I try to import it back into the PDF, though.  I can--
Caller: This is ridiculous.  You know what?  I have this as a Word document- it was originally a Word file.  I just wanted to convert it to PDF and edit it there!  I'll just edit the Word version and turn it back into a PDF. 



...

WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU DO THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE?!  FUUUUUUCK

Got another call from this champion.  Went something like this:

Caller: Hi Bork, how are you doing today?
Me: Fine, and you?
Caller: GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE.  GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!  STOP THAT!
Me: Uh...?
Caller: I SAID GO AWAY YOU LITTLE SHIT!! 
Me:
Caller: Sorry, I'm fostering a puppy and he's getting in the way FUCK GO IN YOUR CAGE.  GO THERE NOW!!

 

First time I've ever had to note "user was verbally-abusive towards an animal" in a ticket.

[team filler]

thebore.com really is the nightmare on elm street 2 of messageboards 

[BlueTsunami]

Just woke up from a dream where I attempted to have sex with Betty Gilpin. Everything was going well, I carried her naked body to her bed (her being 5'7, me 5'4) after lots of flirting. For some reason the oral was not tickling her fancy. Her vagina was HUGE so there was this feeling of being lost in the labia. She then began to berate me in one of the most emasculating ways I've ever experienced. Like chastising a dog and not in some sorta sexy ooooh this could still go somewhere way but in a robe closed and yelling for me to get out of the room way . On the plus side I have this intense closeup image of Betty Gilpins stubbly vag in my head now.

For context, I'm an inch taller than Allison Brie pictured here with Betty Gilpin

[Pissy F Benny]

best learn how to walk in high heels then m8

[BlueTsunami]

She would learn to love my undergrown femurs 

[shosta]

My brother! My brother! My brother! A new beginning to a letter, though used by Marcus Tullius [Cicero] fourteen hundred years ago. Alas! my beloved brother, what shall I say? How shall I begin? Whither shall I turn? On all sides is sorrow; everywhere is fear. I would, my brother, that I had never been born, or, at least, had died before these times. How will posterity believe that there has been a time when without the lightnings of heaven or the fires of earth, without wars or other visible slaughter, not this or that part of the earth, but well-nigh the whole globe, has remained without inhabitants. When has any such thing been even heard or seen; in what annals has it ever been read that houses were left vacant, cities deserted, the country neglected, the fields too small for the dead and a fearful and universal solitude over the whole earth?... Oh happy people of the future, who have not known these miseries and perchance will class our testimony with the fables. We have, indeed, deserved these [punishments] and even greater; but our forefathers also have deserved them, and may our posterity not also merit the same...
  —Petrarch, in a letter to his brother, 1348

[bork]

More nonsense from the same woman from earlier. 

Caller: I tried to email you guys some documents and it was rejected!  Bounceback!  I don't know why- these are small files.  The bounceback says [PROCEEDS TO START READING THE ENTIRE EMAIL AND ERRORS LISTED]--
Me: ...OK.  You emailed the wrong address.
Caller: No I didn't!
Me: 
Me: You emailed a "no reply" address.  Let me connect and we'll make sure it goes to the right one.

Caller: OK, now that's done.  I see you sent it to "helpdesk."  That's funny- nobody here knows what "helpdesk" is.
Me:
Me: I can assure you we all know what the "help desk" is.
Caller: Well, nobody in [local branch office] did!
 

Caller: OK well thanks for helping me!  OH ONE MORE THING!
Me: Yes? 
Caller: My printer here at home.  It's printing very lightly.  What should I do?
Me: I can't really help you with that, unfortunately.  Did you try changing the ink?
Caller: Yes and it's still light in this one part of the printouts.
Me: I would suggest contacting the manufacturer for assistance.
Caller: Well, what number is that?
Me: Uh...the number of the company who makes the printer...?
 

[bork]

Short n' sweet idiocy:

Caller: Can you remote on and look at my laptop?  It is getting some kind of error and ohhh I don't know.
Me: Sure, what's your computer name?
Caller: Huh?
Me: What's the device name of the laptop you're using?
Caller: HP.
Me:
Me: I need to know what the name of your laptop is so I can connect to you.  It should be--
Caller: K, I'll just call back and talk to someone else thank you bye~