Pro Wrasslin' Thread: I don't know what I just saw

[dkdk]

man i never thought i'd see nut on a championship belt.

thats something.

[archie4208]

Anyone catch Southpaw Regional Wrestling?  It is (Georgia) gold (Woo).

[Stro]

I think they should just make Tex and Chadd replace the Club, since they're about 1000% better than anything those two have done as members of the (Bullet) Club.

[nachobro]

dat ribera jacket is fire

[Stro]

IT'S DA DEVIL OH LORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRD

[FunSlower]

Wasn't really feeling Southpaw at all, but I was feeling Tex and Chad a lot more than their normal selves.

[Stro]

Yeah I thought the joke was stretched to the point of breaking in the first ep, and John Cena was for sure the worst part of it. I keep seeing people talk about how funny he was in it, and I'm like...what? All he did was speak in a kind of stilted manner. It wasn't even a parody of a territory announcer: It was a parody of a character from Anchorman.

Rusev as Big Bartholomew and Tyler Breeze buying up his farm and delivering his MONSTER FROM THE SEA named THE SEA CREATURE was pretty good, though.

[bork]

Southpaw is the best thing to come out of the WWE in decades.

[FunSlower]

Rusev was great in it, but I agree Cena was awful. Just shit material. Didn't do much for me.

Eagerly awaiting a Roman heel turn that won't happen tonight.

[archie4208]

Eagerly awaiting tonight's New Day segment. 

[FunSlower]

Eagerly awaiting tonight's New Day segment.

Still? I thought the consensus was that most people are getting tired of them, because they're too successful selling merchandise.

[bork]

Cena was fine.  He played the straight man announcer role perfectly. 


I could have sworn the other guy sitting with him was Orton, but it wasn't, right?  Was that Tyler Breeze?

[FunSlower]

I think my expectations for Southpaw were too high. I saw that teaser and hoped for matches, maybe 6 episodes that are a half hour long or more. Instead it was just promo work. Which is fine, whatever, but...I wanted some wrassles.

EDIT: The Gordon Solie guy was Fandangler. Completely unrecognizable to me.

[archie4208]

Cena was fine.  He played the straight man announcer role perfectly. 


I could have sworn the other guy sitting with him was Orton, but it wasn't, right?  Was that Tyler Breeze?

Fandango.

Tyler was The Banker.

[bork]

I think my expectations for Southpaw were too high. I saw that teaser and hoped for matches, maybe 6 episodes that are a half hour long or more. Instead it was just promo work. Which is fine, whatever, but...I wanted some wrassles.

It would be fun to have some 80s parody style wrasslin' too, but that really wasn't the point of the whole thing. 

[bork]

Cena was fine.  He played the straight man announcer role perfectly. 


I could have sworn the other guy sitting with him was Orton, but it wasn't, right?  Was that Tyler Breeze?

Fandango.

Tyler was The Banker.

Ah, OK.  They're so interchangeable. 

[Stro]

I think my expectations for Southpaw were too high. I saw that teaser and hoped for matches, maybe 6 episodes that are a half hour long or more. Instead it was just promo work. Which is fine, whatever, but...I wanted some wrassles.

It would be fun to have some 80s parody style wrasslin' too, but that really wasn't the point of the whole thing. 

When they have a network with hundreds upon hundreds of hours of 80s wrestling, then make a parody show laughing about how bad 80s wrestling was, it's already weird enough, imo. I mean, it's whatever, but WWE has consistently made some weird choices in regards to their vault footage. Like when they had HHH tell Booker that WCW was a joke, Booker agreed, then at WM King AND JR also agreed, then they bring in Goldberg the next night and want you to buy the WCW DVD a few months later.

So now you have goofs writing think pieces about how "spot on" SPRW was parodying 80s territory wrestling, which according to SPRW was low budget garbage you should laugh at. While WWE also wants you to watch 80s territory wrestling on the Network. Pick a side is all I'm saying, dawgs.

[FunSlower]

It's a shame, the 80s stuff they're lampooning is some of the best shit out there. Lots of hot shit from that era and that style.
Sunshine was so awesome.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p7g3dxSB2Uk
Jimmy Garvin had more natural chemistry with his fake wife than he did later going with his actual wife, Precious.

[bork]

I think my expectations for Southpaw were too high. I saw that teaser and hoped for matches, maybe 6 episodes that are a half hour long or more. Instead it was just promo work. Which is fine, whatever, but...I wanted some wrassles.

It would be fun to have some 80s parody style wrasslin' too, but that really wasn't the point of the whole thing. 

When they have a network with hundreds upon hundreds of hours of 80s wrestling, then make a parody show laughing about how bad 80s wrestling was, it's already weird enough, imo. I mean, it's whatever, but WWE has consistently made some weird choices in regards to their vault footage. Like when they had HHH tell Booker that WCW was a joke, Booker agreed, then at WM King AND JR also agreed, then they bring in Goldberg the next night and want you to buy the WCW DVD a few months later.

So now you have goofs writing think pieces about how "spot on" SPRW was parodying 80s territory wrestling, which according to SPRW was low budget garbage you should laugh at. While WWE also wants you to watch 80s territory wrestling on the Network. Pick a side is all I'm saying, dawgs.

I took it as them parodying the ridiculous gimmicks and storylines and not so much the in-ring stuff.

[El Babua]

80s wrestling was the last time when wrasslin still felt like a sport while still having all the spectacle.

Wouldn't mind a 90s vid from them riffing on an early 90s ECW-esq grunge fed or late 90s XTREME WRESTLING.

[FunSlower]

I dunno if there's much joy to be found in the 90s. 90s was so awful.

If you haven't seen it, please watch "The Backyard" if you can find it. Backyard wrestling documentary that is hilariously depressing in all sorts of ways. It's worth it for THE LIZARD. But it's also worth it for people nearly breaking their backs taking bumps in holes in their backyards on glass tubes, etc...for an audience of two. Some real psychopaths in there too. It's worth watching.

[Stro]

They already had a "lol90ssux *except attitude era*" show. It was called Are You Serious and starred Josh Matthews and Road Dogg MST3King shit.

[FunSlower]

They already had a "lol90ssux *except attitude era*" show. It was called Are You Serious and starred Josh Matthews and Road Dogg MST3King shit.

Christ, I forgot about that, and that stupid puppet.

The puppet that gave life to this trash heap of a thing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4gRLBZstDEM

"People like puppets"

[nachobro]

no matter how hard hhh tries, no one will give him more than a lukewarm cheer for seth rollins

[bork]

Skipped RAW again this week.


Will probably check it out next week though. 

[FunSlower]

Apparently Taker is looking even MORE like Frasier than he did before. I love it.

[Stro]

Taker is about 3 weeks away from being Andre in 1989. He looks miserable. All the tossed salads and scrambled eggs can't turn back the clock this time.

[FunSlower]

The build for Mania is really good this year. There's some weird missteps, like the whole Charlotte/Bayley thing that absolutely baffles me, but in general, hell, I think Owens/Jericho is the best built thing on the damn show. Styles/Shane is a great build as well, clear motivations. Wyatt/Randy looks to be great and I reckon I'll see Bray retain and have a great summer. It's shaping up to be a great Mania.

[Stro]

"He was markin' out, maaaaaaan" made me lol when I saw the clip.

[El Babua]

Taker's gotta retire. He's looked like death in the ring since WM 30

[FunSlower]

Agree. Taker's gotta stop.

[archie4208]

These Miz and Maryse segments parodying Total Bellas are great.

[Stro]

Really fascinating how hard American Alphas have dropped off. 25% of the crowd didn't like them, 25% didn't care either way. For me personally, I stopped giving a shit about them after the GREAT match at Takeover Dallas because they went full blown video game bullshit immediately after that match and it was basically like watching a video game version of Kurt Angle in tag team form from that point on. They settled into their formula and that's that. And crowds just don't care. It's basically like SD in 2003 trying to pretend that WGTT were top level stars despite doing nothing to convince you of it.

[archie4208]

AJ having to sell Shane's punches. 

If their WM match is a wacky spot fest it might actually be MotN, which is saying a lot about this card. 

[Stro]

AJ having to sell Shane's punches. 

If their WM match is a wacky spot fest it might actually be MotN, which is saying a lot about this card. 

I feel like KO/Jericho is easily going to be the match of the night and have the most engaged crowd interactions in the way they actually intended. Which is really crazy considering how sick of Jericho everyone was for years up until the past few months. All the other big matches will have the crowds shitting on both guys or the face.

[nachobro]

i'm bummed that the smackdown women's match is just a battle royale. that shit is destined for the preshow

also i'm annoyed that there's no inter-brand matches other than the men's battle royale. even a brand vs brand tag match or something would be cool.

[archie4208]

KO/Jericho will be good, but AJ can get a 4 star match out of a broom.  If you add a lot of smoke and mirrors, AJ vs Shane can, at worst, be an entertaining trainwreck.

Another match that has a chance to be MotN is Neville vs. Austin Aries, assuming they get enough time and aren't put away on the pre show.

i'm bummed that the smackdown women's match is just a battle royale. that shit is destined for the preshow

also i'm annoyed that there's no inter-brand matches other than the men's battle royale. even a brand vs brand tag match or something would be cool.

I'm still under the delusion Asuka will be a surprise entrant after she loses the title to Ember Moon at Takeover.  I'm know I'm getting my hopes up for nothing.

[bork]

Which is really crazy considering how sick of Jericho everyone was for years up until the past few months.

 

He always comes back from his hiatuses and tries something new.  Never seemed stale to me.

[Take My Breh Away]

Which is really crazy considering how sick of Jericho everyone was for years up until the past few months.

 

He always comes back from his hiatuses and tries something new.  Never seemed stale to me.

Nothing ever fully clicked through and people eventually started getting sick of "Cool Dad" Jericho or "Boring" Jericho. Then this time he came back with "It's Always Sunny In Jericho" and it was a riot that was over as fuck. I think someone made a Botchamania ending that was "Jericho is Dennis from Always Sunny" and it turns out that is what he was going for the entire time. And since he's leaving again soon after mania. Dennis-icho won't wear out its welcome. 

[FunSlower]

Really fascinating how hard American Alphas have dropped off. 25% of the crowd didn't like them, 25% didn't care either way. For me personally, I stopped giving a shit about them after the GREAT match at Takeover Dallas because they went full blown video game bullshit immediately after that match and it was basically like watching a video game version of Kurt Angle in tag team form from that point on. They settled into their formula and that's that. And crowds just don't care. It's basically like SD in 2003 trying to pretend that WGTT were top level stars despite doing nothing to convince you of it.

That being said, Usos vs Alpha on SD was fan fucking tastic. And rightful winners, the Usos, who I absolutely love ever since they turned heel. I just love it. They're naturals. Fuck the face-painting siva dances.

[Stro]

Really fascinating how hard American Alphas have dropped off. 25% of the crowd didn't like them, 25% didn't care either way. For me personally, I stopped giving a shit about them after the GREAT match at Takeover Dallas because they went full blown video game bullshit immediately after that match and it was basically like watching a video game version of Kurt Angle in tag team form from that point on. They settled into their formula and that's that. And crowds just don't care. It's basically like SD in 2003 trying to pretend that WGTT were top level stars despite doing nothing to convince you of it.

That being said, Usos vs Alpha on SD was fan fucking tastic. And rightful winners, the Usos, who I absolutely love ever since they turned heel. I just love it. They're naturals. Fuck the face-painting siva dances.

They're great on Talking Smack. HALL PASS, UCE.

HALL.

PASS.

UCE

[FunSlower]

If you had told me a year ago I'd love the Usos, I would have called you a liar.

I can't believe how fast time flies, though. Baron Corbin has been on the roster almost a whole year and hasn't embarrassed himself. And still has some hair. #blessed

[Stro]

Some being the key word.

[nachobro]

I'm still under the delusion Asuka will be a surprise entrant after she loses the title to Ember Moon at Takeover.  I'm know I'm getting my hopes up for nothing.

Oh damn I hadn't even thought of that. Now I'm also gonna get excited for nothing lol.

Also I'm a super Jericho mark so every time he's come back has been hype for me. Except that time he came back and didn't say a word for like a month. That was just moronic.

[archie4208]

Really fascinating how hard American Alphas have dropped off. 25% of the crowd didn't like them, 25% didn't care either way. For me personally, I stopped giving a shit about them after the GREAT match at Takeover Dallas because they went full blown video game bullshit immediately after that match and it was basically like watching a video game version of Kurt Angle in tag team form from that point on. They settled into their formula and that's that. And crowds just don't care. It's basically like SD in 2003 trying to pretend that WGTT were top level stars despite doing nothing to convince you of it.

That being said, Usos vs Alpha on SD was fan fucking tastic. And rightful winners, the Usos, who I absolutely love ever since they turned heel. I just love it. They're naturals. Fuck the face-painting siva dances.

I could think of another Samona who would benefit from a heel turn.   

[Momo]

These Miz and Maryse segments parodying Total Bellas are great.

https://streamable.com/b2wso

[Stro]

The Cena/Miz thing is really dumb. Centering the feud around a show that is expliclity about the real lives of fake wrestlers has been dumb since Total Divas started, but now it's extra dumb because you have Cena doing multiple promos on the fake show point by point destroying Miz's gimmick, yet you're supposed to still buy this as a "real" feud on the fake show rgekljdvasmnkldvsfldvfskl

And you have that on the same show where a dude desecrated a body and burned down a house to destroy a supernatural power source. I just want some consistency is all. Either go all out with goofy shit, or all in with shooty shit.

[FunSlower]

These Miz and Maryse segments parodying Total Bellas are great.

https://streamable.com/b2wso

[seagrams hotsauce]

The Cena/Miz thing is really dumb. Centering the feud around a show that is expliclity about the real lives of fake wrestlers has been dumb since Total Divas started, but now it's extra dumb because you have Cena doing multiple promos on the fake show point by point destroying Miz's gimmick, yet you're supposed to still buy this as a "real" feud on the fake show rgekljdvasmnkldvsfldvfskl

And you have that on the same show where a dude desecrated a body and burned down a house to destroy a supernatural power source. I just want some consistency is all. Either go all out with goofy shit, or all in with shooty shit.

whynotboth.gif

[Stro]

The Cena/Miz thing is really dumb. Centering the feud around a show that is expliclity about the real lives of fake wrestlers has been dumb since Total Divas started, but now it's extra dumb because you have Cena doing multiple promos on the fake show point by point destroying Miz's gimmick, yet you're supposed to still buy this as a "real" feud on the fake show rgekljdvasmnkldvsfldvfskl

And you have that on the same show where a dude desecrated a body and burned down a house to destroy a supernatural power source. I just want some consistency is all. Either go all out with goofy shit, or all in with shooty shit.

whynotboth.gif

Because if I'm watching a normal TV show and the actors turn to the camera to break character and bitch about the producers giving them shitty lines, it kind of ruins the whole show unless the whole show is like that.

[FunSlower]

The Cena/Miz thing is really dumb. Centering the feud around a show that is expliclity about the real lives of fake wrestlers has been dumb since Total Divas started, but now it's extra dumb because you have Cena doing multiple promos on the fake show point by point destroying Miz's gimmick, yet you're supposed to still buy this as a "real" feud on the fake show rgekljdvasmnkldvsfldvfskl

And you have that on the same show where a dude desecrated a body and burned down a house to destroy a supernatural power source. I just want some consistency is all. Either go all out with goofy shit, or all in with shooty shit.

whynotboth.gif

Because if I'm watching a normal TV show and the actors turn to the camera to break character and bitch about the producers giving them shitty lines, it kind of ruins the whole show unless the whole show is like that.

Saved by the Bell is good.

[archie4208]

https://twitter.com/JRsBBQ/status/844710423081488384

[El Babua]

 

RIP

[Stro]

The Cena/Miz thing is really dumb. Centering the feud around a show that is expliclity about the real lives of fake wrestlers has been dumb since Total Divas started, but now it's extra dumb because you have Cena doing multiple promos on the fake show point by point destroying Miz's gimmick, yet you're supposed to still buy this as a "real" feud on the fake show rgekljdvasmnkldvsfldvfskl

And you have that on the same show where a dude desecrated a body and burned down a house to destroy a supernatural power source. I just want some consistency is all. Either go all out with goofy shit, or all in with shooty shit.

whynotboth.gif

Because if I'm watching a normal TV show and the actors turn to the camera to break character and bitch about the producers giving them shitty lines, it kind of ruins the whole show unless the whole show is like that.

Saved by the Bell is good.

Saved By The Bell didn't have Zack shit on the writing, producers, and call AC "Mario" when he did his 4th wall breaking shit, though. The fourth wall breaking on that show stayed within the confines of that universe. Miz/Maryse vs Cena/Nikki is built from a reality show that over and over tells you anything on Raw/SD is fake, and then there have been multiple promos where Cena legit destroyed Miz's gimmick intentionally point by point and also had one promo where he shit on the whole concept of having to work WM with Miz.

[chronovore]

[bork]

The Cena/Miz thing is really dumb. Centering the feud around a show that is expliclity about the real lives of fake wrestlers has been dumb since Total Divas started, but now it's extra dumb because you have Cena doing multiple promos on the fake show point by point destroying Miz's gimmick, yet you're supposed to still buy this as a "real" feud on the fake show rgekljdvasmnkldvsfldvfskl

And you have that on the same show where a dude desecrated a body and burned down a house to destroy a supernatural power source. I just want some consistency is all. Either go all out with goofy shit, or all in with shooty shit.

Doesn't that count as goofy shit too?  It's not like Total Divas/Bellas isn't also scripted reality TV crap.

[FunSlower]

Those JR tweets are heart-wrenchingly sad for some reason beyond if anyone else had done it. I just don't know why.

[seagrams hotsauce]

The Cena/Miz thing is really dumb. Centering the feud around a show that is expliclity about the real lives of fake wrestlers has been dumb since Total Divas started, but now it's extra dumb because you have Cena doing multiple promos on the fake show point by point destroying Miz's gimmick, yet you're supposed to still buy this as a "real" feud on the fake show rgekljdvasmnkldvsfldvfskl

And you have that on the same show where a dude desecrated a body and burned down a house to destroy a supernatural power source. I just want some consistency is all. Either go all out with goofy shit, or all in with shooty shit.

whynotboth.gif

Because if I'm watching a normal TV show and the actors turn to the camera to break character and bitch about the producers giving them shitty lines, it kind of ruins the whole show unless the whole show is like that.

Yeah but you're watching a soap opera for children about grown men fake fighting, not a normal show

Like you can suspend your disbelief for the "shooty" stuff even though they got Cena to let them shoot at his house, but the wyatt family stuff is too far? Who gives a shit? Both segments are hilarious for different reasons

[Stro]

Is it too much to ask for narratives to be tonally and thematically consistent 

[FunSlower]

Is it too much to ask for narratives to be tonally and thematically consistent 

well this IS wrestling