Pro Wrasslin' Thread: I don't know what I just saw

[bork]

http://www.wwe.com/shows/wwenxt/article/asuka-relinquishes-nxt-womens-title

NXT Women’s Champion Asuka relinquished her title to NXT General Manager William Regal tonight at Full Sail University in Orlando, Fla. After her dominant performance and historic 500-plus day reign as NXT Women’s Champion, The Empress of Tomorrow looks to her future for new opportunities in WWE, though no specific details are known at this time. Her reign will officially end on the date that her historic announcement airs.

 

Meltzer said that she got injured and may be out for weeks/months. But hey!  Maybe this means she'll finally be moved up to the main roster and--

Can't wait for her to lose to Alexa in 3 minutes on the main roster.   

 

[bork]

(Image removed from quote.)


 

U can't see him!

[FunSlower]

Is that really Marty? Sounds like a distinguished mentally-challenged Indian fan.

Yeah...that's Marty.

[Trent Dole]

Is that really Marty? Sounds like a distinguished mentally-challenged Indian fan.

Yeah...that's Marty.

[Stro]

https://legitshook.squarespace.com/strobogos-wrasslin-potpourri-reviews/2017/8/28/aaa-triplemania-xxv


Triplemania is one of the worst shows I've ever seen. Staggeringly awful from start to finish. Fucking garbage. Completely nonsensical show with no flow, Russo level over booking and run ins, and non stop botches. A show where 50 year old Jeff Jarrett comes out doing 5 minutes of racist heel work then beats up 10 people by himself, then gets pinned by fake La Parka and the match ends even though there are still 10 guys left and then the match restarts and no one knows what to do so one team of partners eliminates itself twice from the battle royal by turning on each other.

A show where in a four way women's man, 3 of of the 4 women started shooting with each other, so 1 of them sat the rest of the match out, then came back and intentionally injured the 1 woman who wasn't involved in any of it. A show where Johnny Nitro wins a TLC match with 3 run ins and every major spot was botched or missed by cameras, then has a long promo segment to set up a triple title on the line match with 50 year old Vampiro, which is then followed by the other two guys randomly bashing each other with chairs as the ref clapped when they passed out.

A show where Antonio Pena's widow (still holding his urn) came out to do a tribute to all the dead wrestlers over the years, which was immediately followed up by clowns and KISS impersonators with straps. A show where a 2/3 falls mask vs mask match ended in 1 fall and no one noticed. A show with a street fight so bad fans were chanting for another match to start up and then it ended in a no contest.

Now, I've seen some terrible shows, even terrible lucha shows, but holy shit. Absolutely atrocious.

[bork]

That sounds amazing.    

And holy shit.  Legit shook...no pun intended.

There was a shoot incident involving Global Force Wrestling’s Rosemary and masked luchadora Sexy Star at Saturday night’s Triplemanía XXV show in Mexico City that resulted in Rosemary’s elbow popping from an armbar finisher.

The reports are that Star put the move on legitimately to end a four-way match for the Reina de Reinas title that also involved Lady Shani and Ayako Hamada.

According to PWInsider.com, Rosemary’s injury is said to not be that serious and she is not expected to be out of action for too long.

It was noted that Lady Shani and Star were legitimately shooting on each other at one point during the match. The backstage scene was said to be “extremely tense.” Star left the arena but was brought back by Vampiro and she apologized to Rosemary. She then quickly left again.

Shani was still upset after the match and was reportedly looking for Star backstage to finish what they started.

Rosemary spoke out on the incident Sunday night on Twitter. Via the social media platform, Rosemary took direct aim at Star for her actions in the ring and after in the locker room.

She wrote, “Let me make this perfectly clear: if you take liberties with someone else’s body when they are giving it to you and trusting you to keep them safe, you are not tough. You are an asshole. And you don’t belong in this business.

“Sexy Star decided to do that this weekend at Triplemania. And while I have remained quiet on social media until I was more calm to address the situation, I have now been informed that she is telling people that it us a work. You are all now being informed that Sexy Star is a liar. She was a liar in the locker room when she was forced to apologize and instead cooked up some bullshit excuse that she “didn’t know” and she is a liar now. You know if you are torquing on someone’s arm. You know an armbar is a real and dangerous hold.

“The only reason your face is not broken right now is because a little voice inside my head as I lay on the apron kept repeating, “Don’t go to Mexican prison…” (thanks, Demon)

“However, turning to positives: the outreach from the wrestling community has been incredible. I’m overwhelmed with how much love I feel right now from friends, fans and people I have yet to meet in this amazing business. We are a family and we protect our own. If you violate that, you are not welcome here.

“I also want to thank the AAA locker room. Multiple people came up to me saying how sorry and disgusted they were. Thank you Hamada and Shani, who also had to deal with bullshit from Star during that match. Thank you Vampiro, for professionally trying to calm a volatile situation, though, as you know, once the excuses started pouring out of Sexy Star’s mouth in lieu of an apology, it was over.

“Thank you to the amazing GFW locker room, both present that night and not. I have so much support from everyone and talent, crew and office have all reached out to show me that.”

[nachobro]

watched the weird battle royale or whatever it was before the fight and was confused as hell when Jarrett showed up. That match looked like a mess, didn't realize that encompassed the whole show

[Stro]

The weirdest part of the Sexy Star thing was Rosemary did nothing to her. The other two women stiffed the shit out of her and at one point the other lady in a mask and Sexy just fought while Rosemary and Hamada stood by watching. Then Hamada hit some really stiff shots on Sexy, so she left the match  to "sell" but actually just stood outside  talking to fans until she came back in, tried to start some shit with Hamada, got dealt with, then decided to take her anger out on Rosemary. Before the arm bar she did an ultra stiff double stomp while Rosemary was bridged and couldn't see it coming.

[nachobro]

Stro did you just get that favorite Superstars survey again? I just got the exact same email for it, might fill it out again with all different people so I can catch the ones I missed.

[nachobro]

Cena and Roman promo was This is building up real well.

Also I bet my friend that Enzo will be Cruiserweight champ at or before No Mercy. Feeling confident.

[bork]

Cena crushed Reigns with that promo.  When Cena said that he can do this part-time better than Reigns could ever do it full-time...DAMN.
 

[Stro]

That promo was fucking stupid. That's the kind of promo people shit on Vince Russo for. Shit made absolutely no sense and is a terrible way to build to a fake wrestling match. The whole thing almost felt like a punishment to Roman. Obviously Cena was going to eat him alive even in a normal promo, but to do the worked shoot shit and outright shit on Roman for failing to be the guy the company wants him to be (and also randomly taking a shot at Taker), talking about heel turns and 4th walls....shit is silly.

This is how you get an angle where Goldberg refuses to take Kevin Nash's powerbomb and forces Nash/Steiner to call a match on the fly much to the kudos of the announcers.

Maybe the intention was a true sink or swim moment for Roman, but shit, I see no benefit to a promo like that ever. I could probably talk for 3 days how fucking distinguished mentally-challenged that whole segment was.

[fistfulofmetal]

jesus christ they took the title off of Sasha again? what the fuck are they doing?

[bork]

That promo was fucking stupid. That's the kind of promo people shit on Vince Russo for. Shit made absolutely no sense and is a terrible way to build to a fake wrestling match. The whole thing almost felt like a punishment to Roman. Obviously Cena was going to eat him alive even in a normal promo, but to do the worked shoot shit and outright shit on Roman for failing to be the guy the company wants him to be (and also randomly taking a shot at Taker), talking about heel turns and 4th walls....shit is silly.

This is how you get an angle where Goldberg refuses to take Kevin Nash's powerbomb and forces Nash/Steiner to call a match on the fly much to the kudos of the announcers.

Maybe the intention was a true sink or swim moment for Roman, but shit, I see no benefit to a promo like that ever. I could probably talk for 3 days how fucking distinguished mentally-challenged that whole segment was.

If that was a sink or swim moment for reigns...he's at the bottom of the ocean now.  He couldn't keep up with Cena and even seemed to forget what he was supposed to say.  The best he could come up with was to call Cena a "fake bitch."  WWE, seriously...get him a manager.  He needs a mouthpiece badly.

Interestingly, WWE uploaded this segment to Youtube and to steal from GAF:

• In general it seems to be edited for time, cutting any lul in the dialog and making the responses look instantanuious.
• They cut some comments, most glaringly being Cena talking about not being old and busted like 'Taker and him claiming the power is in the audiences hands.
• The part where Roman forgets his lines and Cena agitates him about not being able to cut a promo is excised.
• Roman's "fake bitch" is bleeped out
[/LIST

[/list]

[nachobro]

I thought it was a solid improvement for Roman tbh. He was certainly out shined by Cena but Cena has like 10 years experience over Roman. This was the first promo Roman has done in a while that didn't feel fake. I could see the "sink or swim" angle I guess but I also don't think that Roman did too bad.

[Stro]

I think you guys are looking into it too much. It's just a promo to hype up a match on a b-tier PPV. They've been doing these "shoots" for a while,  they know it's an easy way to get smarks who claim they don't care about Cena or Reigns invested in the match.

Oh it's for sure been the standard Cena vs X promo that they've been doing since the Edge/Cena feud, where X calls Cena out on all his shit, and then Cena completely eviscerates their gimmicks or angles to the point where it doesn't matter if Cena gets squashed after, he already won the feud. But usually, it's built for the other guy to get major digs in on Cena, and the other guy is a smark fave with more cred than Cena. In this case, Cena is the one with the credibility to the audience, he was the one who got all the major digs in, on top of doing his character assassination stuff. Shit made no sense.

Never mind that they're doing another "everything else is fake, but this is REAL" build up to a fake fight. If you can't do a good promo that doesn't kill the nature of the rest of the show, then don't do the promo. The example I've been using for years now is if Walter White turned to the camera and said he was Bryan Cranston, then shit on the writers/directors because for a few minutes, then went right back into the normal show. Or if Walter and Jesse were in the middle of a scene and he started calling him "Aaron" and talking about how much he sucked.

Everyone knows its fake, but when the show is on, they don't want to be reminded of it. It's a TV show like anything else and it would be ABSURD for something like that promo to happen on anything else, yet this is the standard Cena promo and somehow it works every time for a certain portion of the crowd. There's no benefit to publicly excoriating the guy you've built the company around in a "real" promo for the benefit of a guy who used to be the face of the company but now is doing as much outside work as he can so he can get out. In the case of someone like AJ/Punk/KO doing a promo like this, I would say it would get that portion of the crowd even more on their side, but in the case of Roman, it felt like they were just throwing him to the wolves for no reason.

[FunSlower]

I liked the promo

[Human Snorenado]

I thought it was fine. Their match should be good so that's mostly all that matters; this is just a way to get some heat on the match/feud I suppose. I'm guessing this is a product of "what do we do to keep Roman over/in a top spot while Brock has the title and feuds with Braun" since there's no room for Roman in the title picture with Bork Laser having the title and Braun having gotten himself over like a motherfucker.

But if I had to guess, I'd say stro is upset that it makes Roman look stupid.

[TVC15]

Is it just me or is Cena's speaking style a bit different since his current return?

[fistfulofmetal]

All this shit did was expose, yet again, that Reigns doesn't have it to be a talker. He never was and never will. At this point I don't by anyone claiming that he's just new to the game or green. The Shield debuted five years ago. He's had all this time to get better and he just hasn't. He's just as stilted as he's always been.

If he talks it needs to be in short concise sentences that get the point across. Otherwise you end up with him stalling for time and looking like a fool.

[Stro]

All this shit did was expose, yet again, that Reigns doesn't have it to be a talker. He never was and never will. At this point I don't by anyone claiming that he's just new to the game or green. The Shield debuted five years ago. He's had all this time to get better and he just hasn't. He's just as stilted as he's always been.

If he talks it needs to be in short concise sentences that get the point across. Otherwise you end up with him stalling for time and looking like a fool.

Then don't put him in situations where he's obviously going to look like a fool. EZPZ.


If they're doing promos about saying goodbye to the 4th wall and shit, they might as well just make Raw 3 hours of Total Divas, which was Russo's ultimate goal. To get rid of the wrestling part entirely and just make a work shoot drama.

[Stro]

https://legitshook.squarespace.com/strobogos-wrasslin-potpourri-reviews/2017/8/29/wwe-mae-young-classic-round-1

MYC not off to a hot start, considering the went with at LEAST double the talent they should have, so the first has a lot of people who shouldn't even be on NXT TV, in short squashes or NXT TV level matches, with a lot of shitty roll up finishes. Hopefully the second round gets better with most of the riff raff out.







Jazzy Alpha should come out at the end of the tournament and destroy everyone before heading to Raw to be Braun's power girlfriend where they throw people and things at people for the next year.

[archie4208]

I thought it was fine. Their match should be good so that's mostly all that matters; this is just a way to get some heat on the match/feud I suppose. I'm guessing this is a product of "what do we do to keep Roman over/in a top spot while Brock has the title and feuds with Braun" since there's no room for Roman in the title picture with Bork Laser having the title and Braun having gotten himself over like a motherfucker.

But if I had to guess, I'd say stro is upset that it makes Roman look stupid.

It's not like he needs any help doing that. 

[Stro]

  I'm pretty universally against those promos. All of Punk's pipebombs were distinguished mentally-challenged for similar reasons. The promos between AJ/KO and Cena were also stupid as shit, although they didn't get quite as over the line as the Cena/Roman one.

[Human Snorenado]

I mean, if you're going to get upset about something, it just seems like there are better things to be upset about, such as the continued mystifying presence of Randy Orton as ostensibly a main event face in this, the year of our lord 2017. But diff'rent strokes n all that.

[Stro]

I'm not upset, I just think it's amazingly stupid to build a match around "the rest of the show is fake, but THIS PART IS TOTALLY REAL". They could have gotten similar points across without resorting to cheap pops for omg their shooting nonsense.

[Human Snorenado]

I get that, but in a way I kinda think going for this angle is ingenious.

If you said "we're going to have a Roman-Cena program that might turn into a full blown feud for a couple months" the FIRST thing you'd expect is, "oh god, the fucking smarks are going to trip over their dicks in a mad scramble to see who can bitch the loudest about having this shoved down our throats."

Instead they're bitching about the promo! Vince da gawd strikes again.

 

[archie4208]

One thing that annoys me about Roman/Cena is that match could have easily been a WrestleMania main event and they're giving it away on a B tier PPV with a four week build.  I guess that's slapdash booking for ya.

[FunSlower]

Roman looked like he was fumbling by design. It wasn't exposing him for being a poor talker. It was letting Cena be Cena, and playing it up. The next couple weeks will show Roman getting one over on Cena, I am sure. It's all according to keikaku.

[Stro]

One thing that annoys me about Roman/Cena is that match could have easily been a WrestleMania main event and they're giving it away on a B tier PPV with a four week build.  I guess that's slapdash booking for ya.

I'm assuming they think Cena won't be available for anything, so they're getting everything out of him while they still can. Also, the original plan for No Mercy was Cena vs Joe, but Joe got hurt. My feeling is they don't think Cena's going to be available much longer.

[TVC15]

Roman looked like he was fumbling by design. It wasn't exposing him for being a poor talker. It was letting Cena be Cena, and playing it up. The next couple weeks will show Roman getting one over on Cena, I am sure. It's all according to keikaku.

I don't know why you think this when we know, for a fact, that Roman is terrible on the mic. Then again maybe this whole post is a joke because of the keikaku thing.

[Stro]

You've been subjected to a good old fashioned worked botch.

Usually prevalent only in matches (there have even been whole gimmicks devoted to them), but happen from time to time in promos (See: Rock with lines written on his wrist, which enabled Cena to get an extra "oh this is real" dig at him).

Nothing is a shoot on WWE TV. If there is a shoot, someone gets fired. Which makes the whole segment even dumber, tbh.

[TVC15]

If it was a worked botch, Roman would have botched it and said something notable.

[fistfulofmetal]

I don't believe for a single second Roman's fumble was prescripted. Nope.

[FunSlower]

Roman looked like he was fumbling by design. It wasn't exposing him for being a poor talker. It was letting Cena be Cena, and playing it up. The next couple weeks will show Roman getting one over on Cena, I am sure. It's all according to keikaku.

I don't know why you think this when we know, for a fact, that Roman is terrible on the mic. Then again maybe this whole post is a joke because of the keikaku thing.

He's not amazing, but he's not as bad as they were playing up. Work work work!

[seagrams hotsauce]

JBL off commentary

[nachobro]

only caught the main event on raw but damn it was solid. big show baby face looks a bit silly though.

[Stro]

Round 2 of MYC still isn't good. Multiple women with ONE YEAR of experience in this thing, even in the second round. The terrible commentary, overly dark lighting, and doing 30 matches in the span of 2 days in the same place means crowds are dead and the talent is having short nothing matches not any better (but often worse) than what you'd get on Raw/SD/NXT weekly shows.

Kairi Sane out here working 4 matches in 2 days and getting a concussion and neck injury.

[nachobro]

DBryan bodyshaming KO tonight? Of all the people to do it

[nachobro]

Fatshamed again! This time by Vince

[TVC15]

Chrisley Knows Best > WWE

[archie4208]

Vince getting Shibata'd 

[Stro]

https://legitshook.squarespace.com/strobogos-wrasslin-potpourri-reviews/2002/7/10/nwa-tna-weekly-ppv-4-71002

TNA in the weekly era was the epitome of being hammered just to the point before passing out where you stumble to the refrigerator, bumping into everything along the way but not stopping because your booze infused momentum will let you walk through a wall if you have to just to get to the left over Taco Bell in the kitchen. It's a constant barrage of NOISE and MOTION. One could even say it is total nonstop action, in a similar way to a tornado tearing up a trailer park.

Brian Christopher comes out to explain why he turned on Scott Hall the week before. He then spends 5 minutes screaming about Jerry Lawler, telling him to GO TO HELL, ends the promo changing his ring name to Brian Lawler...and that's why he turned on Scott Hall. Tenay said it made even more sense, now. Then he defeated Norman Smiley.



Then there is Jeff Jarrett, who was suspended by Bill Berehens, interfered in a title match, blasted Harley Race with a chair, then got into a fight with the Tennessee Titans before being chased into the crowd by the New Church as WE'RE OUTTA TIME.



There's also R Truth vs a NASCAR driver (Truth cheated to win, decision was reversed after the match), former WCW Cruiserweight Tag Team Champions Kid Romeo and Elix Skipper main evented along with Tony Mamaluke, Low Ki, and Christopher Daniels, Jerry Lynn and AJ Styles did the feuding tag team partners thing, Jerry also aggressively sexually harassed Goldylocks, Jasmine St. Claire showed up to give JB a lap dance because she'd been watching for 3 weeks and saw no asses, the incestuous Dupps cut a promo about dogs fucking women and eating shit, and Don West wore this incredible suit:

[bork]

Jasmine St. Claire showed up to give JB a lap dance because she'd been watching for 3 weeks and saw no asses

0/10 for not showing this.   

[Stro]

Jasmine St. Claire showed up to give JB a lap dance because she'd been watching for 3 weeks and saw no asses

0/10 for not showing this.   

She didn't actually get naked or even undressed. NWA VP Bill Behrens covered her up before she even got her dress off. Oh boy, the next episode has the famous midget beating off in a trash can segment. Yet no one seems to remember that in the same segment, the Dupps play spin the bottle with each other and Stan Dupp tells Goldylocks she has pretty pussy lips. 

[bork]

Yet no one seems to remember that in the same segment, the Dupps play spin the bottle with each other and Stan Dupp tells Goldylocks she has pretty pussy lips. 

Sounds like the pro wrestling version of The Bore.

[Stro]

Oh btw, the next week has Brian Christopher say Jerry Lawler spends every Wednesday at a local high school with a fist full of candy, a suspended Jeff Jarrett somehow still being booked in a number one contender ladder match but getting into a fight backstage and forfeiting the match only to be replaced by a debuting SABU (who won), R Truth hanging Norman Smiley and then attacking his wife, Francine beating up Jasmine and then getting DDT'd by THE BLUE MEANIE which then led to Ed Ferrara giving injury updates in his Owen Voice, and Double J returning to deliver 9 more concussions because he seems to think he's being booked like Real Ass Stone Cold or some shit. That in addition to the midget jerking off, the midget sexually assaulting a cage dancer, and someone complimenting the interviewer's labia.

https://legitshook.squarespace.com/strobogos-wrasslin-potpourri-reviews/2002/7/17/nwa-tna-weekly-ppv-5-71702









5 weeks into the promotion they've had: Four celebrity scuffles (one being in a match), three concurrent "Fuck the NWA they're holding me back I'm going to do what I want now" angles with heels that all happen to have music elements to their gimmicks (Double J, Truth, Flying Elvises), Brian Christopher trying to build to a match with Jerry Lawler, a quote of no less than 5 utterances of shit and bitch per show, every person interviewed besides Low Ki (who refused to do an interview) calling Goldylocks a bitch or slut for no reason, midgets sexually harassing and sexually assaulting women, scripts being "thrown out" and things called "on the fly", multiple feuding tag partners, Scott Hall going from Steve Austin at Wrestlemania to Brian Christopher at the Tennessee State Fairgrounds in 4 months, and incest gimmick, a tag team that were literally wrestling penises, and so much more.

Somehow, that company still exists 15 years later. 

[Human Snorenado]

The first couple years of TNA was such a glorious shitshow

[Stro]

Oh hold on, ep 7 had Jeff Jarrett abducting a midget, carrying him to the ring in a sack, then beating him up until another midget comes to the ring and PULLS A GUN ON HIM.


https://legitshook.squarespace.com/strobogos-wrasslin-potpourri-reviews/2017/9/13/nwa-tna-weekly-ppv-7-73102




This show ends with Jarrett vs Hall in a stretcher match worked like a ladder match that has 8 run-ins, 2 ref bumps, and a fuckery finish on top of that.

[archie4208]

https://twitter.com/JRsBBQ/status/909544054941036544

[Take My Breh Away]

The absolute GOAT. The real MVP of 80's WWF. He will be missed so much.
 

[Stro]

 

[nachobro]

goddamn, the kind of thing you know to expect eventually but you're still crushed when you hear about it. truly the greatest, rest in peace

[Stro]

Bobby Heenan, the quickest witted, funniest guy around, spending the last decade or so of his life being unable to speak is just  as hell.


The GOAT. The Weasel. The Brain.

 

[El Babua]

RIP

GOAT manager/heel commentator

[Stro]

I now have the first 15 eps of SNME + The Main Event 1 up and giffed

https://legitshook.squarespace.com/snme


Those first like...6-7 are fucking horrific. Some of the worst produced shows ever under a Capitol/WWWF/WWF/WWFE/WWE/Titan banner. Things don't start getting mostly consistently decent-good (for the era, of course) until late into 1986, and even then you've got to put up with George Steele, Nikolai Volkoff, Kamala, Bundy, HTM, and similar garbage. They ran Savage/Steele 3 shows straight 

 











https://legitshook.squarespace.com/snme/2017/9/19/wwf-saturday-nights-main-event-10387

10/3/87 is perhaps the true eureka moment, as the Mega Powers were born, setting up a 2 year angle (well, really an angle that lasted the rest of Macho's career)that carried 2 Wrestlemanias, the creation of Summerslam and it's follow up the next year. Along with at least one more SNME match against each other, Macho's heel turn, Macho's face turn, Macho going to WCW, their feuds there, and BE A MAN. A pretty pivotal episode of television for WWE. It also directly led to Bret Hart vs Randy Savage at the next SNME.

[bork]

BE A MAN!!!

[bork]

 
HEENAN!!!

[archie4208]

Roman kicks out of 4 AA's and wins with a spear

Brock kills Braun's momentum

[nachobro]

Poor Cesaro