It's 20XX and people are mad online about Star War!

[Boredfrom]

Since misogynists started using it to take down any kind of female lead with any kind of significant skill or power.  And since the term is uniformly applied as a pejorative for women.  For example, Dwayne Johnson and Vin Diesel are mary sues in all their movies, but their powers are explainable by their muscle size.

That sounds like Tumblr talking.

[Madrun Badrun]

opps meant to say the term is applied ununiformly as pejorative to women, not 'uniformly'.  In my defense, I'm watching a cam version of the movie right now. 

[Madrun Badrun]

Rey and Ren tug-of-waring and killing chewy was good.

[Madrun Badrun]

Also, I can't believe the plot is they got a map to map to a super-secret sith planet.  And that first map?  Its a dagger. 

[Madrun Badrun]

If this was the original trilogy, they would have just busted CP30's head in with a wrench and got the data. 

[Madrun Badrun]

How does everyone know what sith is?  But in the mandaliorian know one knows what the force or jedi are?

[Stro]

Also, I can't believe the plot is they got a map to map to a super-secret sith planet.  And that first map?  Its a dagger. 

A dagger with a hidden map that lines up with crash wreckage in the middle of an ocean that you can only see from one specific spot of land. Luckily for our heroes, the 40 years of being smashed with heavy waves did nothing to alter the geography and the key lined up perfectly on the first try.

[Madrun Badrun]

The girl in red with the helmet has a sexy butt.  Hope she doesn't turn out to be an alien or a dude. 

[Madrun Badrun]

"I'm the spy"  "WHAT"  lol

[Madrun Badrun]

Halfway through - WTF was the point of TLJ?  To train Rey?  Luke spent like 15 minutes in a swamp and that was good enough, we didn't need a whole movie for that. 

[Madrun Badrun]

Also, I can't believe the plot is they got a map to map to a super-secret sith planet.  And that first map?  Its a dagger. 

A dagger with a hidden map that lines up with crash wreckage in the middle of an ocean that you can only see from one specific spot of land. Luckily for our heroes, the 40 years of being smashed with heavy waves did nothing to alter the geography and the key lined up perfectly on the first try.

OMG.  like at least have the dagger be a key to device not just find the silly extension and hold it from any old place.

[Madrun Badrun]

I like that no one cares that C3P0 got his mind erased. 

[Madrun Badrun]

Wait, a single star destroyer can blow up a planet now?  Why did they need death stars then? 

[Madrun Badrun]

How many times can you do 'the map is destroyed...no it's cool, we had it all along.'

[Madrun Badrun]

R2 just stuck his probe into C3P0 without consent.  Actually, he explicitly said 'No'. 

[Madrun Badrun]

"Common buddy, we need you" to Chewy in the tone you would use to talk to a dog. SMH

[Stro]

Lol at how the Disney IT'S CANON EU went from comic books showing why C3PO had a red limb in TFA to a 25 part series about Vader and 5 part Kylo Ren comic series that are tasked with making sense out of all the myriad of plot points that don't make sense in the sequels.

[Madrun Badrun]

Plalpy looks cool though

[Madrun Badrun]

I was fine with it but mostly because it was introduced in the mandalioran and I thought it was fine there. 

edit:  o guess he's bring her back to life, thats maybe not so cool

[Madrun Badrun]

"Ben?"  sigh

[Madrun Badrun]

O, wtf, he just space ghosted her.

[Madrun Badrun]

"Well let's find out" - sexy face.    ya that was awkward. 

[Madrun Badrun]

The movie was a mess.  Each piece might have been good in its own right but there was no overarching logic to anything: the movie flew by the seat of its space magic.  This made everything silly, but it was almost silly in the way I can tolerate movies.  It was a lot better than TLJ, which had no redeemable features.  I also think that had this movie not needed to do all the work of both actually setting up a sequel storyline and concluding it - something that should have been done in TFA and TLJ - then it might have worked as a good movie.  Basically I blame TLJ.  I'm mostly astonished at how bad Disney handled this series - this is a DCCU level fuck up but at least that was trying to follow one person's (crappy) vision.  This was a series made in committee and no one said it was a bad idea.

[Madrun Badrun]

I hope the next series of movies is set 1000 years in the future and made by people who like star wars. 

[toku]

https://twitter.com/beanytuesday/status/1208942473759928320

[Spieler1]

oh hey this movie was pretty okay with even some awesome bits among the dumb ones. What a twist. lol at anyone expecting this to generate prequel-tier memes in the future.  biggest problem is that it had to handle the poor Disney management/lack of direction leading up to it. Although I gotta say, the "TLJ RETCONNED" narrative is completely overblown. The only thing they cancelled was Rian Johnson's shitty humour, poor use of CG and side characters. I actually like the characters again and would maybe watch more movies with the new ones - unless they are directed by Rian Johnson.

[Spieler1]

but fuck Disney anyway. The movie apparently has some kind of compulsory tax and costs twice as much as every normal night showing. went straight for the cam version with Chinese subs, no shame.

[Oblivion]

saw the movie yesterday. here are some sloppy thoughts i had (SPOILERS, of course):

- the editing was weird as hell. especially in the beginning. we immediately get shots of kylo ren in the middle of battle killing a bunch of random people we have no idea who they are. rey's introduction where she's shown floating and lifting the rocks around her was done with absolutely no buiild up whatsoever. almost everything about the movie's editing was incredibly manic, and there were a LOT of cuts, probably moreso than any SW film.

- trying to build some emotional tension with no pay off whatsoever. two particularly glaring examples were with chewie getting 'killed' and c-3P0 'losing his memory''. in the first case, it could have had some great impact and character development for rey, but then we find out chewie is alive and rey herself finds out chewie is alive not too shortly after. hell, did rey even hug chewie when she saw him again?

then we had the shit with 3PO. that, i thought was also going to be a very important and sentimental moment, only for it to be treated comically when he loses his memory and then once again when he gets it restored. the crew seems sad about what's going to happen for a grand total of 30 seconds and then they just fucking move on! then when 3P0 gets his memory back, literally no one fucking cares! i swear, rey, poe and finn are some of the worst friends ever.

- jumping off of the previous complaint, i also absolutely hated how one of the important subplots in the movie was that 3po refused to translate the inscription on the dagger, so they had to fly over to some different planet so that they could get someone to extract it from his memory. i'm sorry, but come on, that's STUPID! i'm not a fan of self-made conflicts.

- the entire stupid dagger bullshit - one of the things that bothered the shit out of me in TLJ was how finn and rose were looking for this super specialized 'codebreaker', who they wind up never meeting, only to COINCIDENTALLY find some random dude, who just happens to be a hacking genius, in the same cell that they're locked up in. the universe is big, but apparently quite small too.

ROS does something similar where the team comes across the dagger BY COMPLETE FUCKING ACCIDENT. they fell into the sand trap or whatever they called it, and just HAPPENED to be the location to find exactly what they needed. again, small universe! also, very nice that the violent, raging, ocean it was right next to didn't happen to further deteriorate or even move the death star from it's position for over 30 years!

then on top of that, whoever made that dagger, just happened to create a map that (AGAIN) COINCIDENTALLY corresponded perfectly well to the remaining shape of the death star wreckage. i mean, WHAT ARE THE ODDS


- spoiling palpatine in the opening crawl was pretty shitty

- almost all the 'jokes' fell flat. there was barely any laughter in the theater (THANK GOD)

- i don't mind that force healing suddenly showed up out of nowhere, but would it really kill James Cameron to have offered at least some kind of throwaway line to explain what it was and why rey (and kylo) suddenly have that ability?

- while i thought the finn and rose subplot was the worst thing in TLJ, i thought it was pretty fucked up that rose got completely sidelined and relegated to paper pushing

- as someone already mentioned, the scene where the triumphalism for when the backup for the rebellion shows up felt really undeserved. sure, there was the grandiose theme playing, but it felt very flat imo. it SHOULD have been a great scene, but it wasn't. there was some build up to it, sure, but it wasn't particuarly well done, imo.

-  i always enjoy seeing new tech introduced in the SW movies. while i think the star destroyers themselves are cool, just giving them a major powerup is a pretty lazy way to handle things.

- does anyone think this film had any memorable set pieces? again, not to be a broken record, but for all its problems, i thought TLJ absolutely nailed the final battle sequence on crait. there is nothing remotely as memorable imo as luke standing in front of the AT-ATs.

- and i guess the last thing i'll say is that i felt the movie had very few good emotional moments. i mean, maybe the scene with han and ben was good, i'll probably grant that. but that's about it. even with that though, i didn't think there was anything in the movie that was a gutpunch like when luke winked to 3p0 in TLJ.

[Bebpo]

Saw the movie. Was dumb and had some bad choices in the ending and the movie needed to be 3 hours to slow the fuck down the first half which feels like a summary reel, but was passable and don't really get the fan outrage but while I like Star Wars I don't love it or have a dog in the fight.

Like when they started force teleporting material items I was like "is that a thing? Eh, I guess it is" and thought it was a cool little gimmick and used well for the best money shot of the teleporting lightsaber.

I'm fine with the story of the movie for being a dumb star wars movie until the point where Rey and Kylo are side by side about to fight Palpatine. After that the instant KO instead of a fight and then Rey blocks Palaptine to death and Kylo dies just because it's safe all get a hard pass from me. I'd be real curious to read what the other 7 endings they tested were.

In terms of TLJ retcon, I didn't find it retconning but more that I liked what Rian was hinting at with hey it's fucking 2019 and Game of Thrones is the #1 show, fuck black & white Sith & Jedi, let's do something new this trilogy and make a morally grey 3rd choice. They keep even harping about Rey bringing "balance to the force" which only makes sense if the Jedi & Sith are equal either both still alive or both gone, which a creative 3rd choice solution could do, such as keeping Kylo alive and doing something with the 2 of them in a new world future. Or my personal ending I'd have written where Rey kills Palpatine, becomes the ultimate Jedi+Sith entity and then kills herself closing out the Jedi & Sith bloodline feud forever and then story cuts to decades later and kids start getting force powers in a post-jedi/sith world setting up for future movies without the jedi/sith baggage (this is where you can tell I'm not a star wars fan since I think of Jedis as baggage )

But then in the end this plays it totally safe. Even though how the fuck does wiping out all the sith and still being a powerful jedi bring balance to the force...

In the end you can tell they wanted to do something with Kylo/Ren but because of the different writers pulling the story differently across the 3 movies you just get bits and pieces and ideas and not a consistent arc. Also as much as I think TLJ is great and Rian did good, the Finn portion of TLJ sucks and Rian totally torpedo'd Finn's character going anywhere sadly from the end of TFA. Most wasted potential part of the trilogy. Dude should've gone from being a brain-washed stormtrooper to something by the end of the trilogy but got the short end of the stick.

Basically I like Empire & TLJ & New Hope. Return of the Jedi is nostalgia and everything else is either ok or bad.

[Oblivion]

holy shit. forget everything i said and just watch this instead:

[brawndolicious]

I think I enjoyed Suicide Squad more tbh.

Like, the writing had so many flaws in it.

• You mentioned Palpatine is the new/old overlord of the Sith and secretly pushed Kylo to be a bad dude for the past 30 years because mind voices and things, but he was never introduced. They just popped in a two sentence explanation in that intro crawl. Like seriously, I know how petty directors can be about only following their vision, but leaving out like five minutes of exposition to show that you don't approve of the previous ending is a really sloppy look and it removed all impact of reintroducing Palpatine.
• In the quicksand, JJ revealed in a QA session that Finn wanted to "confess" that he's force sensitive. Not that he's in love with Rey or that he regrets almost being a deserter or anything like that. I think that they focus-tested how an interracial thing would be received and had to change it at after that scene was filmed. Might explain why the other woman who helps with the horseback raid was black. But then like Billy Dee Williams wants to feel like a man again so they hint that he wants to bang her. It's pretty fucking contrived.
• Why the fuck would she call herself Skywalker when she meets Luke's old ass auntie? That is the peak of entitlement.

At least we got TLJ, Solo, and Rogue One.

[curly]

https://twitter.com/beanytuesday/status/120894247375992832

I don't care much about Star Wars but this sounds amazing:

https://twitter.com/DemiClemi/status/1208946577043316736

[Nintex]

spoiling palpatine in the opening crawl was pretty shitty

You mentioned Palpatine is the new/old overlord of the Sith and secretly pushed Kylo to be a bad dude for the past 30 years because mind voices and things, but he was never introduced. They just popped in a two sentence explanation in that intro crawl. Like seriously, I know how petty directors can be about only following their vision, but leaving out like five minutes of exposition to show that you don't approve of the previous ending is a really sloppy look and it removed all impact of reintroducing Palpatine.

This line was cut from the movie and shown in FORTNITE 

[Stro]

It's kind of amazing to see the machinations of a giant corporation at work with this series:

OT: Starts out intentionally in the middle of the story, trying to capture the feeling of catching a random serial at the theater like Georgie did as a kid. EU stuff was limited to cheap comic cash ins and some kiddie spin off cartoons or made for TV movies. Into the 90s, Lucasfilm lets EU stuff take off and starts putting some effort into it, but none of it is considered canon unless George decides so, and much of it is in service to work as hype for the upcoming Special Editions and Prequel series.

PT: The movies overexplain what questions you had from the OT, then a couple of years after the trilogy finishes, an expansion cartoon is created with George Lucas involvement to further explore things that often went well beyond the scope of the movies and for many "fixes" many of the issues with the prequels.

ST: Jettisons all previous EU stuff except for The Clone Wars, all future EU material would be canon with the movies. To push comics and novels, filmmakers intentionally handicap the movies by keeping major plot points and story beats to ancillary media. Examples include: The Ben/Luke/Jedi Order kerfuffle that fuels most of the ST but is only shown in brief flashes in the movies themselves. Anything about Rey's parents. Anything about Palpatine. Anything about Snoke. How the First Order got so powerful in such a short period of time. The actual end to the war with the Empire. Why Leia is no longer a senator and has formed a group of rebels despite the Empire being defeated. And really everything between ROTJ-TFA. All relegated to novels, comics, video games, and sometimes even unaffiliated video games like Fortnite promotions.

How much of it is forced Disney synergy and how much of it is the filmmakers being lazy knowing EU writers will make sense out of any plot hole they write themselves into is up for debate.

[Uncle]

I don't know why everyone has such a hard time accepting the dagger like somebody totally made that shit hundreds of years ago not knowing what the specific design meant, only that it would someday have some specific prophetic relevance

In terms of TLJ retcon, I didn't find it retconning but more that I liked what Rian was hinting at with hey it's fucking 2019 and Game of Thrones is the #1 show, fuck black & white Sith & Jedi, let's do something new this trilogy and make a morally grey 3rd choice.

TLJ retconned its own theme here when it taught luke a lesson to prove him wrong in his own movie, and then refused to let rey join kylo and create a new grey world order, instead returning to the status quo of empire vs rebels

[Stro]

Hey so uh


The Sith were thought to be gone at the time Qui Gon found Anakin, so by Jedi thoughts there was already balance in the force, so why the fuck did anyone give any shits about the chosen one to bring balance during a time when there was already balance in their minds?

[Rufus]

Cause it's all

[D3RANG3D]

[thisismyusername]

*skip ahead like an hour, they're talking about the queerbaiting*

THAT'S RIGHT, JAY!: Nobody would care, so why did Disney need to make a big deal about it?

"Progressive Pandering." Oh they got that right.

[MMaRsu]

[Tasty]

At least we got TLJ, Solo, and Rogue One.

Eugh, good point

[Cindi Mayweather]

I like the idea that Rey is palatine's granddaughter but in no way does her line deserve to succeed the Skywalker's.

Imagine if in TLJ Kylo reveals that shes the granddaughter of Palps. After all her dark side exploration and flirting with forbidden magic. "That's right, you've got a history of the dark side in you. At least touch some of it." Which makes Rey a grey jedi.

It would have been truly unique within the franchise

Oh well

Doesn't mean Palps needs to come back or anything but i do like the idea of her being the fruit of his loins.

[kingv]

I feel like TLJ does open up some interesting ideas, but that movie itself and now Rise of Skywalker just does absolutely nothing with those ideas.

The only character with any kind of arc is Kylo Ren, but in general, it’s done really poorly, so it’s hard to care about. And the movies are constantly ruining other characters, which makes it double plus hard to give a crap.

Edit; they also put actual plot point in.... Fortnite?

[Uncle]

https://twitter.com/boobooben/status/1208804494680694784

[Uncle]

I like the idea that Rey is palatine's granddaughter but in no way does her line deserve to succeed the Skywalker's.

technically the palpatine line is the skywalker line

[Coffee Dog]

I like the idea that Rey is palatine's granddaughter but in no way does her line deserve to succeed the Skywalker's.

technically the palpatine line is the skywalker line

(Image removed from quote.)

that at least can be interpreted as a visual metaphor rather than the stupid shit they are clearly intending that to be

[Stro]

I think the actual meaning of that is Palpatine and Plagueis were trying to create life from midichlorians, and Plagueis believed that the Force could "snap back", which meant the Force created Anakin as a response to whatever bullshit the Pee Pees were up to, not that Palpatine literally created Anakin. I think in the context of that comic, it's actually about Anakin's fear that perhaps Palpatine really did create him.

[ToxicAdam]

Do you think back in the 3rd century as new books of the Bible were being released, people were having similar reactions as they are to Star Wars?

"WTF, now Jesus can walk on water in this one?" "His mother is a virgin now?!"

[Uncle]

first corinthians is just a bunch of wheel spinning, there was literally no reason for paul to go to canto bight

[Stro]

Do you think back in the 3rd century as new books of the Bible were being released, people were having similar reactions as they are to Star Wars?

"WTF, now Jesus can walk on water in this one?" "His mother is a virgin now?!"

"Jesus is a Mary Sue"

[jakefromstatefarm]

back in the 3rd century as new books of the Bible were being released...

[MMaRsu]

Do you think back in the 3rd century as new books of the Bible were being released, people were having similar reactions as they are to Star Wars?

"WTF, now Jesus can walk on water in this one?" "His mother is a virgin now?!"

"These stories just get dumber and dumber each time they put out a new one"

[Cindi Mayweather]

Do you think back in the 3rd century as new books of the Bible were being released, people were having similar reactions as they are to Star Wars?

"WTF, now Jesus can walk on water in this one?" "His mother is a virgin now?!"

[ToxicAdam]

back in the 3rd century as new books of the Bible were being released...

My Bible history is rusty. The third century is when all the "chosen books" were coalesced into the New Testament by Bishop Whatshisname.

[Cindi Mayweather]

back in the 3rd century as new books of the Bible were being released...

My Bible history is rusty. The third century is when all the "chosen books" were coalesced into the New Testament by Bishop Whatshisname.

You're kinda right. The 200's was when they were building a religion around it. Lots of books were written during that like some of the Gospels. Before then they mostly had Paul's letters. This was also the time when church figures like Origen were around trying to define what Christianity was and wasn't before there was an established true canon.

[Stro]

back in the 3rd century as new books of the Bible were being released...

My Bible history is rusty. The third century is when all the "chosen books" were coalesced into the New Testament by Bishop Whatshisname.

Bishop Bobba Fett




Also, FUCK PAUL

[team filler]

44 min into RoS. everytime fin talks I fee like he's about to say "we ride together, we die together" or some fast n furious quotes about being a family

[Stro]

Well Star Wars is about family

[Madrun Badrun]

That's 'Ride or die'

[jakefromstatefarm]

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