minor inconveniences that are not struggles

[Rufus]

We call that an elephant race over here.

[Valkyrie]

Help. I had a dream where I was cuddling with a certain borean.

Not gonna lie, it felt really nice since I looove cuddles. Only sucked because I woke up alone. Clearly my loneliness is leaking into my dreams at night.

I really need to stop reading on my phone in bed at night.

[Atramental]

Bebpo? BrandNew? Toku? PD? Mupepe?

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Creepy Stalker? 

[close]

[Valkyrie]

Who the hell is Creepy Stalker?

[Rufus]

Was it Chrono Jii-san?

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Creepy Stalker was a visitant from another world. Of which he made spectacular and popular accounts. He was assassinated by the mods of this realm when he transgressed in some unspecified way.

[close]

[Mupepe]

I've dream cuddles with lots of Boreans. NBD

[chronovore]

Was it Chrono Jii-san?

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Creepy Stalker was a visitant from another world. Of which he made spectacular and popular accounts. He was assassinated by the mods of this realm when he transgressed in some unspecified way.

[close]

Me, IRL:

spoiler (click to show/hide)

[close]

[Madrun Badrun]

When to the pizza place and meant to ask 'does that come with a combo'.  Instead I said 'does that come with a condom..bo'. 

[Joe Molotov]

Did it?

[Madrun Badrun]

yes

[Valkyrie]

Was it Chrono Jii-san?

Nah, but the dude did post on this page.

He doesn't come off as a cuddler though. Most of you don't seem that way tbh.

[Madrun Badrun]

I'm sure there are a lot here that would come off by cuddling.   

[Rufus]

Was it Chrono Jii-san?

Nah, but the dude did post on this page.

He doesn't come off as a cuddler though. Most of you don't seem that way tbh.

I would bet small denomination coinage that most here are complete softies and only impeded by their awkwardness.

[Atramental]

Father mike/arvie/dandy?? 

[Rufus]

Definitely a cuddler.

[Atramental]

Yep. A real lady killer that one.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

 

[close]

[Madrun Badrun]

lol like murder precludes cuddling

[Valkyrie]

Cuddles are the best.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

And a plus when it turns into more.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Spooning and suddenly feeling his boner behind me. Good god. RIP my sanity.

[close]

[close]

But fuck, I woke up 6am today (on a Saturday). Slept maybe 3 or 4 hours max.

[Mupepe]

it was mupepe

You never just cuddle with mupepe

Which is why I love to cuddle so much

[G The Resurrected]

Airbnb cancelled on me a week before my trip to LA for E3. Airbnb sucks when it comes to finding a viable solution to my problem. The host cancelled after the cut off period that is laid out by Airbnb, hence why they are involved. They can't seem to find me a hotel for my week stay so I'm sol. Anyways I'm trying to figure it out and I don't know if I'll be going now. A big bummer as it would be my first E3 and probably last one too.

[chronovore]

Airbnb cancelled on me a week before my trip to LA for E3. Airbnb sucks when it comes to finding a viable solution to my problem. The host cancelled after the cut off period that is laid out by Airbnb, hence why they are involved. They can't seem to find me a hotel for my week stay so I'm sol. Anyways I'm trying to figure it out and I don't know if I'll be going now. A big bummer as it would be my first E3 and probably last one too.

Why's that?

[G The Resurrected]

Why's that?

Probably the last traditional E3 with Press being the focus. I can see them re-branding the whole event and focusing on an event based around gaming culture. But that being said it might take them another year or two to become something like a PlayStation Experience.

[Cerveza mas fina]

Fuck airbnb and uber man. Race to the bottom-economics

[G The Resurrected]

Fuck airbnb and uber man. Race to the bottom-economics

In general the whole gig economy is just shit. There is a reason we have specialty services for delivering goods, transporting people, and purpose built places to stay.

I'm sitting here struggling to find a damn place and it's fucking stupid how much energy I have to put into this shit.

[Valkyrie]

How do lonely girls go on about getting laid without seeming thirsty?

[Atramental]

Tinder (assuming it's a thing in Japan) profile with a bio that states that you're not looking for anything too serious at the moment.

Have fun sorting through hundreds of overly eager thirsty men tho. 

[Valkyrie]

Oh yikes. My friend showed me her Tinder messages and it was so embarrassing.

eyh gurl did it hurt when u fell, cuz ur an angel huehue let's fuk

[chronovore]

Fuck airbnb and uber man. Race to the bottom-economics

In general the whole gig economy is just shit. There is a reason we have specialty services for delivering goods, transporting people, and purpose built places to stay.

I'm sitting here struggling to find a damn place and it's fucking stupid how much energy I have to put into this shit.

The Peripheral, William Gibson's most recent novel, shows an America in the throes of the logical extension of the gig economy. No job security, 99% of people just barely getting by, everyone's pirating everything, printing what they need. Fucking hardscrabble existence. Excellent book, but as predictive sociology, it's depressing. (Hint: It's not predictive, like most SF it's a perspective on where we already are.)

[chronovore]

How do lonely girls go on about getting laid without seeming thirsty?

If you're caucasian, most Japanese locals will be afraid of you, and most of the American expats are here because they couldn't deal with American women and have warped ideas of what Japanese women will be. In fairness, Japanese women have cray-cray ideas of what foreign men are like.

If you're asian, have fun: Pretend to speak broken English, find a cute guy, visit a love hotel, and then revert to fluent English when it's time to say goodbye. You'll probably see speed lines and vapor trails from the speed of his exit.

[Joe Molotov]

How do lonely girls go on about getting laid without seeming thirsty?

check your pm's

spoiler (click to show/hide)

jk

spoiler (click to show/hide)

[close]

[close]

[CatsCatsCats]

How do lonely girls go on about getting laid without seeming thirsty?

I'm afraid it's too late for you on the last part, so just be forward and I'm sure you can stumble over some d somewhere

[Valkyrie]

How do lonely girls go on about getting laid without seeming thirsty?

I'm afraid it's too late for you on the last part, so just be forward and I'm sure you can stumble over some d somewhere

I'm sorry for being so straight forward about my sexual desires.

I'll chill, and hide in the shadow from now on.

[chronovore]

How do lonely girls go on about getting laid without seeming thirsty?

I'm afraid it's too late for you on the last part, so just be forward and I'm sure you can stumble over some d somewhere

I'm sorry for being so straight forward about my sexual desires.

I'll chill, and hide in the shadow from now on.

Men are also worried about this, apparently:

https://twitter.com/tristanreveur/status/871141694351097856

[CatsCatsCats]

How do lonely girls go on about getting laid without seeming thirsty?

I'm afraid it's too late for you on the last part, so just be forward and I'm sure you can stumble over some d somewhere

I'm sorry for being so straight forward about my sexual desires.

I'll chill, and hide in the shadow from now on.

Lol was just giving you hard time

[Mupepe]

Yeah don't hold back. We are all pervs

[I'm a Puppy!]

How do lonely girls go on about getting laid without seeming thirsty?

If you're caucasian, most Japanese locals will be afraid of you, and most of the American expats are here because they couldn't deal with American women and have warped ideas of what Japanese women will be. In fairness, Japanese women have cray-cray ideas of what foreign men are like.

If you're asian, have fun: Pretend to speak broken English, find a cute guy, visit a love hotel, and then revert to fluent English when it's time to say goodbye. You'll probably see speed lines and vapor trails from the speed of his exit.

I know about the expats thing. But what about the bold? Expand please. I'm genuinely interested.

[Brehvolution]

Yeah don't hold back. We are all pervs

[toku]

no paradise for pervs

[Beezy]

How do lonely girls go on about getting laid without seeming thirsty?

If you're caucasian, most Japanese locals will be afraid of you, and most of the American expats are here because they couldn't deal with American women and have warped ideas of what Japanese women will be. In fairness, Japanese women have cray-cray ideas of what foreign men are like.

If you're asian, have fun: Pretend to speak broken English, find a cute guy, visit a love hotel, and then revert to fluent English when it's time to say goodbye. You'll probably see speed lines and vapor trails from the speed of his exit.

I know about the expats thing. But what about the bold? Expand please. I'm genuinely interested.

Black men specifically, please. Asking for PD.

[bluemax]

How do lonely girls go on about getting laid without seeming thirsty?

I dunno about in Japan, but in Los Angeles most of my single female friends who just want action seem to not have much issue by just going out drinking. I don't know anyone who has gotten laid from Tinder in the last 4 years.

[chronovore]

How do lonely girls go on about getting laid without seeming thirsty?

If you're caucasian, most Japanese locals will be afraid of you, and most of the American expats are here because they couldn't deal with American women and have warped ideas of what Japanese women will be. In fairness, Japanese women have cray-cray ideas of what foreign men are like.

If you're asian, have fun: Pretend to speak broken English, find a cute guy, visit a love hotel, and then revert to fluent English when it's time to say goodbye. You'll probably see speed lines and vapor trails from the speed of his exit.

I know about the expats thing. But what about the bold? Expand please. I'm genuinely interested.

Japanese women have usually seen a lot of rom-com movies, and think that men will be chivalrous, brave, and funny.

In an odd circumstance, my wife was correct in this assumption, but usually it is a bad bet.

More detail: They also discount that many men are in Japan because they couldn't make it professionally in their home country. Or find women who would deal with them in their home country. And they think that the expat men here will sweep them from their feet and marry them and take them to America to be emancipated.

[Valkyrie]

Lost count of how many times I've heard this:

Them: "Hey butt, do you know any gaijin guys I could meet?"
Me: "What kind of guy do you like?"
Them: "Someone tall with a lot of money!"

[Tasty]

I'm glad CORS exists but it's being a major pain in the ass for my music player project right now. 

[chronovore]

Lost count of how many times I've heard this:

"Hey butt, do you know any gaijin guys I could meet?"
"What kind of guy do you like?"
"Someone tall with a lot of money!"

Yeah, this too.

Nevermind the expat male population is about 90% English teachers, most of whom are making the bare minimum demanded by the government to sponsor a Work Visa. That's more than most entry-level employees make, but it's not a lot. At some point they've got to go back to their home country and figure out if they can make it work… or stay in Japan and adapt to this toxic work culture (FTN).

[Valkyrie]

Yeah, this too.

Nevermind the expat male population is about 90% English teachers, most of whom are making the bare minimum demanded by the government to sponsor a Work Visa. That's more than most entry-level employees make, but it's not a lot. At some point they've got to go back to their home country and figure out if they can make it work… or stay in Japan and adapt to this toxic work culture (FTN).

Plus let's be real here, the majority of Japanese girls who are interested in foreigners expect them to be well off. I don't see how a minimum wage English teacher with a temporary visa can comfortably afford child care for instance. Or the demands and expectations of a common Japanese burando loving wife.

[bork]

Yeah, this too.

Nevermind the expat male population is about 90% English teachers, most of whom are making the bare minimum demanded by the government to sponsor a Work Visa. That's more than most entry-level employees make, but it's not a lot. At some point they've got to go back to their home country and figure out if they can make it work… or stay in Japan and adapt to this toxic work culture (FTN).

Plus let's be real here, the majority of Japanese girls who are interested in foreigners expect them to be well off. I don't see how a minimum wage English teacher with a temporary visa can comfortably afford child care for instance. Or the demands and expectations of a common Japanese burando loving wife.

Pretty much why I chose to go home after JET (aka the one English teaching job with decent pay/benefits and crazy-low rent) and go back to school to try to start a career, rather than suffer working at some shitty eikaiwa.  And I've read that IT jobs in Japan pay like half what they pay in the States, with longer hours...fuck that.

Every time I mention that I wouldn't mind going back to Japan, but just can't because there's no work for me, my wife just goes "we can move back to my hometown and deliver newspapers!"  Uh...

[Rufus]

Every time I mention that I wouldn't mind going back to Japan, but just can't because there's no work for me, my wife just goes "we can move back to my hometown and deliver newspapers!"  Uh...

The Freeter spirit.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

[close]

[Valkyrie]

Japan is awesome to visit. But in the long run, not ideal to live in unless you get lucky with your personal circumstance such as partner/job. It's probably better for foreign guys than gals since you're not expected to give up your social life and human interactions to become a cooking machine in a country you're not 100% familiar with.

[zomgee]

Really sorry, butt. 

[Valkyrie]

It's okay, I've got my family and my vidya, and you weirdos.

Who needs love or IRL friends anyway.

[Mupepe]

"Love is overrated. Biochemically no different than eating large quantities of chocolate"
          - Al Pacino

[Rufus]

It's okay, I've got my family and my vidya, and you weirdos.

Who needs love or IRL friends anyway.

[Atramental]

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[toku]

you're gonna kill it

[Tasty]

The pet passion project I've been working on at work since January got delayed at the last minute, after about two months of previous delays despite the work being done. It got delayed this time because despite me talking about it for half a year and throwing as many people as possible on the code review, apparently no one actually looked into what I was doing and panicked when they actually looked into it (a day after it hit testing.)

This on top of the fact that last month the internal employee event I had been planning for two months got delayed literally 30 minutes before it was to start.

Pretty confident I'll be seeking employment elsewhere very soon.

[chronovore]

Japan is awesome to visit. But in the long run, not ideal to live in unless you get lucky with your personal circumstance such as partner/job. It's probably better for foreign guys than gals since you're not expected to give up your social life and human interactions to become a cooking machine in a country you're not 100% familiar with.

You're correct on all points.

You've been dealing with such a bad situation, I'm glad you're taking steps to resolve it.

Women here have such a miserable situation socially and economically. Not only that, iirc there are laws about child support but nothing in place to enforce them. It's a shot show which empowers male irresponsibility.

[I'm a Puppy!]

Is there any hope of Japan changing for women?

[chronovore]

Is there any hope of Japan changing for women?

I think so. I hope so.

I mean, it is different here than 24 years ago when I first arrived, and it seems wildly different than what my MIL and her sisters faced. Similarly to in the west, the "millennials" here are good at redefining what they're willing to do to find happiness, certainly the women are well-represented in that group. There are many who have dropped off the treadmill to do their own thing, to the bafflement of the older generation.

Recently there was an article I'd read which stated how much of an effect on equality and sexism could be attributed to The Pill. The article felt that Japan was an excellent proof of this theory, because The Pill has only recently become available here. I don't necessarily buy into that theory, because the nature of social mores is historically substantially stronger here than in the west. But it is worth thinking about.

[Valkyrie]

As someone with first-hand experience with female contraception in Japan, the choices are very limited and often very expensive. Plus it usually isn't as good as the stuff you get at home. At the same time, so is abortion. Everything is either super expensive or very limited in support. Nothing of it makes sense. There's a lot if amazing technology in Japan but I feel like they're often focusing on the less important stuff.

[bluemax]

How do lonely girls go on about getting laid without seeming thirsty?

I dunno about in Japan, but in Los Angeles most of my single female friends who just want action seem to not have much issue by just going out drinking. I don't know anyone who has gotten laid from Tinder in the last 4 years.

The irony is after I posted this a Japanese girl living in LA responded to me on Tinder.