RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011

[Mupepe]

Can't wait for the epic 'she wants Wendys but I want McDonalds' fallout. Until then, split them cheeks.

That's reasonable.  Wendy's is garbage food.  Nasty, greasy, sloppy burgers and soft flavorless floppy dick fries.

[Raist]

https://imgur.com/a/AvSgYVu

I think we are good.

Rahx da gawd

"Xbox date"

Yeah, no.

[nachobro]

Xbox and chill

[Rahxephon91]

https://imgur.com/a/AvSgYVu

I think we are good.

Rahx da gawd

"Xbox date"

Yeah, no.

Its what we’ve been calling when she brings over her Xbox and we both play at the same time.


Also someone’s a little dismissive.

[I'm a Puppy!]

So to recap, the last few seasons, Atra = Successfully laid. Rahx = Successfully laid. Where's Kramit? Did he go missing after baby momma girl? And Dufus? Where's Dufus we need to start his arch.

[Stro]

Obviously you'd call it Xboning, come on. I mean it's right fucking there.

[I'm a Puppy!]

Don't back off from Xbox date Rahx. Women love the silly things.  Own it!

[Rahxephon91]

I'm not backing off from it. It was her idea. It's fun. I set up a tv for her and she brings her xbox. Drink a few beers. It's like a lame lan party.

[nachobro]

sounds like fun to me. all the haters are just jelly their ladies won't lan party with them

[Mupepe]

So I've had quite a week. It kind of sucks, but I'm kind of relieved. Either way, long post incoming...

I've been seeing my girlfriend for almost a year now. I mentioned late last year that she had said she loves me in bed. I considered it just talk and we've been moving along just fine. She would say it every once in a while and I honestly found it hot. She and my wife began communicating with each other through me. Passing pictures, telling me what to say to the other, etc. We had a date set up for a getaway for all 3 of us to have some drinks and spend a night in a nice hotel room.

Then last Friday she drops a surprise on me and tells me she needs to tell me something (I'm fearing something like "I'm pregnant" or some shit) but tells me again that she loves me. I tell her that I know because she's told me before thinking it's the same dirty talk until she's like "no. i really do." We have a short conversation but it's basically her saying nothing has to change between us because she knows it's not what I want and she's okay with that. She asks me if I have any feelings for her. I tell her that I care about her because we've grown pretty close but that I don't have any romantic feelings at all.  I also tell her that she doesn't know me as well as she probably thinks she does. That she only sees one side of me when we're together. I tell my wife about it the next night and tell her I think I need to end things with the girlfriend. She's just a bit surprised and tells me that she doesn't like the idea of it getting complicated but that I know her best and I'll be able to figure out what's best for all of us.

So a couple of days later I get a chance to have a quick conversation with her. She tells me that she's felt that way for a while now, that I'm stupid and blind because I couldn't see it and she was worried that my wife would see it immediately when we meet up. She said she had tried to convince herself that it wasn't the right thing to tell me for a long time because it was just an infatuation but when I got into my motorcycle accident she knew it was real. She still kept saying nothing had to change and she wasn't asking anything from me but I told her you can't just drop something like that and expect things not to change, especially when the other person doesn't feel the same.

So fast forward to Wednesday when I see her. She's dressed in a one of those professional skirts and blouses, black strappy tall shoes (don't know what the fuck they're called). She's gotten her nails done, pedicure and manicure and puts my hand between her legs to feel that she's wearing crotchless panties. This is all very out of character for her. When we fuck she's telling me to tell my wife not to be mad at her and then right after whispering in my ear not to leave her. I can't deny that I thought it was hot as fuck. I went home and told my wife about it, we fucked and then we had a serious conversation about it. I asked her if I should end it with her still. My wife again tells me she can't make that decision for me because she doesn't know her. But she said it all sounds dangerous and like someone is going to get hurt. The worst part is that the girlfriend tells me that nothing has to change but then she goes and does this stuff out of character which is a big sign to me that it's not true. The cat's out of the bag and at the very least we'll change the way we work trying to contain it.

So I told her I wanted to talk to her. We meet up and I told her to just give me a minute and let out this long blurb telling her I didn't want to lose her as a friend but that we should end it because I don't see a scenario that it ends well. I told her it was probably my fault for bringing more intimacy into what we had by telling her things and letting her more into my life. I said I really wished she hadn't said anything but that I get why she did. I mentioned that even though I liked the way she seduced me the other day, it wasn't her and that things had already changed. I said I didn't want to lose her as a friend because she's basically the closest person to me now besides my wife and I don't get close to people easily. I also said I'd be lying about how she might react. She knows enough about my wife and I and has enough access to people I know to maybe not ruin our lives, but embarrass the fuck out of us with people we know since no one really knows what we are into. She was crying a bit but said that I was probably right and that since Wednesday she's been having similar thoughts. She said after we were done she had a moment like "What am I doing?" because that's not how she acts and likes to think she's above doing that to make a man love her. Especially for one that she knows she can't have. I asked her why she thinks she loves me because I still think she's projecting. She basically said that outside of the way I make her feel sexy and wanted but telling her that I like the parts of her body she feels most insecure about, that she loves how she can tell me anything and confide in me and how I empower her when she tells me that she wants to do something. I told her a decent man will love her body as much as I do because she is sexy and that I will always be there to listen to her because I'm her friend. We had one last breakup fuck and then that was it.

She sent me a couple of jokey messages since which is a good sign but I'm pretty sure things might change over the next few days or weeks. I really hope we can stay friends. I sent a text to my wife and told her everything that was said too. It's nice to be able to do that with my wife since I don't really have anyone I can talk to about these things except you guys and her. I've read about other wives/situations where it's basically "don't tell me shit about it." and that sounds awful. I'm also now a one woman man for the first time in like 4 years. I don't really have anyone to call like I used to as a side chick and to be honest, I don't really have the urge.

[CatsCatsCats]

Your supportive wife

Sounds like you got away clean from a sticky situation, Mups da god

[Mupepe]

Definitely sounds like she had intentions that weren't good;  you handled it like a champ.

Your supportive wife

Sounds like you got away clean from a sticky situation, Mups da god

Thanks guys.  I really do love my wife. This was the first time I was worried about telling her something from one my flings. I really didn't know how she'd react but she was amazing and just asked me normal questions that I would have asked like "do you love her?" and "what do you want to do?" and then talked me through how she saw it.

I'm not sure if her intentions were really bad, at least consciously. I know she's got a lot going on and I think she really thought she could keep it the same way but saw her mistake after she said it and did what she thought she could to salvage it. I really do feel bad for her. or maybe I'm just naive.

[demi]

now that you're a one girl man, have you considered maybe she could i dunno, be a two man girl

joe and i are available. hit us up.

[team filler]

he says one woman... so how many men? 

[Mr. Gundam]

I'm not big on sharing so I could never do it, but damn that sounds like so much work.

[I'm a Puppy!]

Mups I gotta say you and I approach things so different, even in this. I got mad respect for you.
I guess the old, "Go to puppy if you want a relationship, go to Mupepe if you want to get laid" still holds true.
Sorta feel bad for the girl, can't blame her for catching feelings after a year. That's almost to be expected in most people.
Also, when are we gonna fuck?

[Mupepe]

I’m equal opportunity, if my wife wants demi and Joe then I am more than happy to watch 

This is the most work it’s ever been. For 8 years it’s been relatively stress free. This is the first time it’s ever actually gotten complicated and the most stressful part was explaining an intimate moment with another woman to my wife and again, yeah I’m sure it’s my fault. I usually keep strict boundaries that I didn’t this time because she was so receptive to things in the beginning. Lesson learned. These things usually just end gradually as we get bored just fucking each other and calling each other less and less. 

Puppy, right now. Come over boo.

[Mupepe]

It’s crazy intimate to talk about being with someone else with the person you love.

[BlueTsunami]

I love how the act of fucking is like a punctuation to every other sentence in Mups post lol

I also could never share, i'm a jealous fucker. I also find that trait hot in another. A product of low self-esteem.

[PsychoBee]

not sure if this is the right thread, but something i've been chewing on the last week or so

been in a "kind of" relationship with one girl for some time, sometimes we'd go off and date someone else, talk to eachother about our relationships, things like that- but when it inevitably didn't work we'd just go back to how things were "as usual", flirting with each other, sort of half-dates, but more of "we're going out as best friends!" kind of things than actual dates, not really romantic, just more fun, things have been very comfortable with her, we even had sex a few times (the first time we were both drunk, and then a few times after that casually when the mood seemed right) but there was never any talk of anything more serious or heavy

flashforward about two years ago when I got out of a long relationship with my ex and she caught her fiance cheating on her, we had a sort of bonding moment of "wow our partners suck fuck people etc" and we had this .. moment? it was like suddenly things were a lot more intense, although neither of us was willing to commit to anything, it was definitely a lot heavier and more passionate than anything we've ever done before, sex incl, and it was weird as hell, honestly

that lasted a few months, and then things calmed down kind of, her and her fiance worked things out, they eventually got married, but she still kept acting like we did when we were both single- occassionally sending me nudes, talking about the times we slept together, things like that. I just sort of put it in the back of my mind because she was married, and the one time I sat her down to talk with her about "hey whats going on whats up with this" and she told me I was misreading things, that her husband knew she was sending this stuff (although she'd always have to do it secretly and nowhere permanent because she was afraid he'd find out ?? red flags but it's not my life so I just kept to my lane) so I was like whatever, I'm too old to deal with this, I'll just do whatever

our friendship kind of returned to a somewhat normal state (with rare moments of her trying to act more like a girlfriend than friend, but that was usually when she was fighting with her husband)

flash forward again, her and her husband are fighting every day, and she's talking about getting a divorce, I've been trying to be there for her, but I've been talking to another girl for the last two months who's poly, and things between us got a bit heavy- I've been wanting to experiment with a poly relationship, and she knows it's new to me and told me if I ever decided to take our friendship a step further she'd be there for me and help me through it, because she thinks I might be poly as well, based on some of my past relationships and other things I've told her

Old friend found out about this and got really pissed off at me, basically told me she loved me and always loved me, was just waiting for me to take the first step and make us official, she never wanted to be with her husband but wanted to start a family and figured I'd never give her the time of day, etc. which.. caught me off guard, but she's also mono, and I'm really questioning if I am, or if I could be for her?

Kinda stuck in the scenario of do I choose the girl who I've known for almost two decades now that I'd be comfortable with, or do I choose the new girl who's exciting, been very supportive of a lot of discoveries I've been making about myself, helping me discover new things about myself, and at the very least help me figure out who I am?

[BlueTsunami]

Sounds like she developed a codepence on you both being there for eachother. The fact that shes spiraling out from a marriage is a huge red flag at the moment. Shouldn't be on you to save her from that. Go with what you feel is healthiest for you versus the feeling of being there for her. I mean, yeah be there for her emotionally but starting a family from a state of panic? Sheeeit.

[Beezy]

Mupepe and Puppy, have either of your wives had a boyfriend in your open marriage? Did that go well? Did they speak openly about them to you? Did you ever meet them?

[Mupepe]

My wife has one now. It’s just as fun for us as when I tell her about my adventures. My wife only had two over 8 years and she sees him a lot less often then I see people. I’ve never met them but I don’t know how that would go. I’d like to say I wouldn’t have a problem but I can’t say for sure. She does speak openly about him and I don’t feel any jealousy, but I also speak openly about mine. We have gotten comfortable enough that we can mentioned things about them outside the bedroom without it being awkward or a problem. Like I can tell my wife “she mentioned we check out this show and she said she’s going to do this weekend and that sounds fun blah blah blah”. Just to be clear, we aren’t involved romantically with these people. The meetups we have are strictly sexual and generally don’t communicate with them unless it’s about meeting up. That was something I kind of let slip with my girlfriend. Outside of a very very random meme or something, I didn’t ever text or call her. After my accident she started to text every day. At first it was “how are feeling” and then it turned it into “what are you up to?” I told my wife and mentioned it was weird but I didn’t put 2 and 2 together until after she said she loved me. When I didn’t reciprocate last Friday the texts stopped cold.

[Mupepe]

Psycho: that girl sounds broken and it sounds like a hell of a lot of baggage with little room for success as a relationship. It seems like the most relevant question is if you could even make it with her. I’d probably quite honestly tell her you’re looking to see what’s down this other path and ask if she wants to go on that adventure with you.

[PsychoBee]

Psycho: that girl sounds broken and it sounds like a hell of a lot of baggage with little room for success as a relationship. It seems like the most relevant question is if you could even make it with her. I’d probably quite honestly tell her you’re looking to see what’s down this other path and ask if she wants to go on that adventure with you.

I brought it up once, but she was extremely against the idea, saying she didn't want to share me, etc.

Actually talking about it and thinking about it kinda really helps put it into perspective, kinda? Like in the moment I didn't realize just how crazy it sounded until I took the time to write it all out and actually think about what our relationship had been and how possessive she had always been of me

Thanks y'all, Im gonna take y'all's advice and just give the new girl a shot, and see if I can even still be friends with the old girl, which theres quite a few details I left out because the post had become long enough as-is and they weren't relevant, but in hindsight there are a lot of red flags to our entire relationship and I'll try to maintain the friendship, but I think with how things have been going the last year or so this will be the breaking point for us

[Beezy]

My wife has one now. It’s just as fun for us as when I tell her about my adventures. My wife only had two over 8 years and she sees him a lot less often then I see people. I’ve never met them but I don’t know how that would go. I’d like to say I wouldn’t have a problem but I can’t say for sure. She does speak openly about him and I don’t feel any jealousy, but I also speak openly about mine. We have gotten comfortable enough that we can mentioned things about them outside the bedroom without it being awkward or a problem. Like I can tell my wife “she mentioned we check out this show and she said she’s going to do this weekend and that sounds fun blah blah blah”. Just to be clear, we aren’t involved romantically with these people. The meetups we have are strictly sexual and generally don’t communicate with them unless it’s about meeting up. That was something I kind of let slip with my girlfriend. Outside of a very very random meme or something, I didn’t ever text or call her. After my accident she started to text every day. At first it was “how are feeling” and then it turned it into “what are you up to?” I told my wife and mentioned it was weird but I didn’t put 2 and 2 together until after she said she loved me. When I didn’t reciprocate last Friday the texts stopped cold.

Thanks. I asked because I'm currently someone's "boyfriend" and every now and then I wonder if her husband is jealous at all. I hung out with both of them a few times before this all started, haven't seen him since, but she says he's fine with it and wants to hang out again.

[Oblivion]

Gentlemen....I'm about to go out with a PAWG right now.

WISH ME LUCK

[nudemacusers]

The idea of navigating multiple partners makes me tired lol, can’t imagine doing it... tho I get the impression it’s way more common than one would think. I know a number of people who do it, but are very hush about it (social mores + a layer of UCMJ)

[Oblivion]

Welp, just got back. How'd it go, you ask? In a word: FUCKING AWESOME

I picked her up and we went to IHOP where we hung out and chat for over 3 hours. Generally, in my experience, when you're with a woman THAT long on a first date, it's good sign. And thankfullly that seemed to be the case as we spent another 4 hours afterwards making out, feeling each other up, and doing pretty much everything you can think of short of full on intercourse.

This chick was looking pretty hot in her pictures on Hinge, but they clearly didn't do her justice. On her profile, she was wearing some loose fitting clothes, but she was one of those chicks who you could still tell was pretty top heavy, but seeing her in person, "stacked" doesn't begin to cut. They were ENORMOUS.  Easily the biggest pair of any woman I'm dated so far (which is saying something, cause I've dated one who had F cup tits). And I was blessed enough to get the opportunity to see them up close and personal. 

Things went so well, we'll be seeing each other again tomorrow. After 6 of the shittiest months of my life, some GOOD luck finally happens.

[team filler]

pawg and huge rack   

[Rahxephon91]

The holy grail.

[team filler]

I prefer smaller tiddies tbh  small and perky 

[BlueTsunami]

If yall still together in October, suggest she dresses as a big tiddy goth girlfriend for Halloween 🎃

[Oblivion]

It's actually kind of surprising just how well it turned out. In the beginning when we were at IHOP she seemed bubbly and engaged, but somewhere midway she started appearing distant and bored. I brought it up to her later and she said the reason for that was cause she wanted to leave sooner so she could devour me (her word). 

She's got pretty much all my preferences/fetishes locked down: big boobs, big butt, tall (she's probably an inch taller than me, even), great calves/legs in general, red hair, and glasses. She's also both utterly adorable and simultaneously aggressive, it's so hot.

[I'm a Puppy!]

Mupepe and Puppy, have either of your wives had a boyfriend in your open marriage? Did that go well? Did they speak openly about them to you? Did you ever meet them?

I'll reply to this tomorrow as I'm busy now and it's complicated.

Also you might want to include CatsCubed. He's a cool dude.

[Mr. Gundam]

The idea of navigating multiple partners makes me tired lol, can’t imagine doing it... tho I get the impression it’s way more common than one would think. I know a number of people who do it, but are very hush about it (social mores + a layer of UCMJ)

I'm unable to separate sex and love/intimacy so it's just not something that I could do (and my wife feels the same), but no judgment towards those who can. A good friend of my wife's is a tantra instructor who has her prime partner but then has other partners at the same time. It works for her as it does for others, but she's also quick to note that it's not right for everyone.

[Oblivion]

So we met again last night, and it appears there's a slight problem that just came to my attention.

She has genital herpes.

Now, I've had experience with women in the past who had herpes before and I handled it pretty badly, so I didn't want to go ballistic in the same manner, and I think I handled it pretty well this time.

THAT BEING SAID..

..should I continue seeing her? How easily can a person contract genital herpes if they use protection?

[shosta]

 

[demi]

looooool, the change in attitude

[TakingBackSunday]

Everyone's got some sort of VD, put your face directly on it and get to gnoshin'

[TEEEPO]

not that i've ever had to deal with it directly but genital herpes isn't a big deal imo

don't std shame

[Rufus]

Could be worse. Could be drug resistant gonnorrhea.

[Beezy]

yikes

[shosta]

Any of the following symptoms of a genital HSV infection can occur in a man or a woman:

• Cracked, raw, or red areas around your genitals without pain, itching, or tingling
• Itching or tingling around your genitals or your anal region
• Small blisters that break open and cause painful sores. These may be on or around your genitals (penis or vagina) or on your buttocks, thighs, or rectal area.
• More rarely, blisters may occur inside the urethra -- the tube urine passes through on its way out of your body.
• Pain from urine passing over the sores -- this is especially a problem in women.
• Headaches
• Backaches
• Flu-like symptoms, including fever, swollen lymph nodes, and fatigue

[BlueTsunami]

Sometimes you just gotta accept the stank

But seriously, yall were vibing. Do a "Very Special Episode of..." with her and have a convo with her about what it entails exactly. At least she was nice enough to even tell you instead juat letting it roll. Plus, them tiddys.

[CatsCatsCats]

https://m.

[Oblivion]

Hey, don't make me out to be the bad guy here! I didn't break up with her or anything. And in fact, I said I would be willing to continue seeing her!

I just want to make sure this genital herpes thing won't be too much of a dangerous issue. 

[TEEEPO]

so were you doxxed or did you disclose this information to shosta?

[shosta]

I'm so proud of my boi. Life doesn't always give you a second chance, but when it does...

[Oblivion]

is this directed at me or her

[TEEEPO]

ingrown hair or herpes, you'd still fuck me

[Oblivion]

ingrown hair or herpes, you'd still fuck me

Oh I'd hit it!  And I'm sure I have before too;  but I wouldn't want to get into a relationship with someone with herpes.  Sounds terrible, but it's the truth.  I wouldn't want my long-term partner to be someone I had to use condoms with.

I'm just frugal like that.

Wait, what? Why would you be okay having sex with someone with herpes, but not a relationship with that same person?

[TEEEPO]

he'd prob be less inclined to give oral or do raunchy shit if it's a one night stand

i've used this reasoning before

[Rahxephon91]

How are condoms more restrictive? Just asking.

[Rahxephon91]

Ok I’ve experienced that. Having to switch/change condoms kind of kills my Bonner.

[Oblivion]

Wait, what? Why would you be okay having sex with someone with herpes, but not a relationship with that same person?

Because I'll have sex with someone using protection but wouldn't want to have to use protection all the time in a long term relationship.  Just too restrictive.

Oh, I see. Makes sense.

[Rahxephon91]

The holy grail.

On second thought...

[I'm a Puppy!]

My wife has one now. It’s just as fun for us as when I tell her about my adventures. My wife only had two over 8 years and she sees him a lot less often then I see people. I’ve never met them but I don’t know how that would go. I’d like to say I wouldn’t have a problem but I can’t say for sure. She does speak openly about him and I don’t feel any jealousy, but I also speak openly about mine. We have gotten comfortable enough that we can mentioned things about them outside the bedroom without it being awkward or a problem. Like I can tell my wife “she mentioned we check out this show and she said she’s going to do this weekend and that sounds fun blah blah blah”. Just to be clear, we aren’t involved romantically with these people. The meetups we have are strictly sexual and generally don’t communicate with them unless it’s about meeting up. That was something I kind of let slip with my girlfriend. Outside of a very very random meme or something, I didn’t ever text or call her. After my accident she started to text every day. At first it was “how are feeling” and then it turned it into “what are you up to?” I told my wife and mentioned it was weird but I didn’t put 2 and 2 together until after she said she loved me. When I didn’t reciprocate last Friday the texts stopped cold.

Thanks. I asked because I'm currently someone's "boyfriend" and every now and then I wonder if her husband is jealous at all. I hung out with both of them a few times before this all started, haven't seen him since, but she says he's fine with it and wants to hang out again.

Oh I didn't understand the question. I thought you meant girlfriend/boyfriends with a spouse. That's a whole other thing. My wife doesn't currently have a boyfriend. I do certainly take a different tact than my counter part, Mupepe. That's what I was going to post about but as I re-read that's not at all what you're asking. I will say that I am in that BF position (twice over).

Here's the thing. Some guys are cool with it and others not.  Some guys view it as their partner has a need they can't or don't want to fulfill and they have no problem with it. Others are like "You do that thing and keep me out of it". Others are like "Hey, we both love this person and want what's best for them." You sorta gotta get a read on it.

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

I broke up with my girlfriend. It’s a long story and nobody cares. Long story short, her downsides were no longer worth the upsides.

I hooked up with my friend and ate her out until she came six times and begged me to stop last night. Not looking for another gf anytime soon.

[Oblivion]

Maybe I don't have to worry about the herpes thing with this chick after all. Apparently she lives with her son and mom in an apartment, and since I take care of my mom in my apartment, well...that's gonna make play time very difficult.


Fucking millenials.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

(yes, I'm aware of the existence of hotels, but they're fucking expensive, and she expressed her displeasure with the backseat of my car, so that's out of the question too).

[close]