Well my own insecurities are one reason for thinking it’s going to end soon. We all know that I am a self saboteur with a predisposition for negativity. Which I’m trying to get better at. I believe my partner when she says their aren’t any problems and the sex is great. We’ve talked about and been communicative about stuff.
But I still have my own issues with not being able to cum and am always worried about my size.
But since this is also my first relationship I’m really unsure what to expect and what to want. My girlfriend still is not big on “doing things” and is terrible at planning. I like to do stuff and make plans. I like to go to the movies, go out to activities, and go to bars. Movies are pretty much a no go with her and the other stuff takes a bit of a push. Maybe I want someone I can just randomly say hey you want to go to the book store? She’s not down for that kind of the thing.
But I am also a homebody and obviously like to play games. And so does she and she’s tolerant of that kind of nerdy stuff.
I don’t know if I wanted a gf that I did everything with, but I see my friends snapchats and Facebook pictures of them with their gfs doing plenty of things and always being together. And I wonder if that’s what I want? I can’t even post pictures of us on my Facebook and really what we mostly do is sex, play video games, and just hang out.
But I mean those are all really fun. When we together I feel very comfortable, something I’ve achieved with few people. And I like the moments we are together a lot.
And I also think that kind of gf is not what I want. I don’t want to spend every moment with her. I like to do my own thing and have my own space. I go see movies with my good male friend. So I also think I have someone who matches my style, I’m just overthinking about things I see and think I want.
But there’s also the fact that this is going to turn into a long distance relationship soon. She’s moving for her job. Last time we talked it was basically that she wanted this to continue, she sees a future with me and us living together. I’ve raised my concerns about her finding someone else and she’s said that’s not going to happen.
But I don’t know. I love her, but I also don’t know about relationships in general. I’ve also seen other women I’m attracted too. Which is normal, but I also have no desire to look for anyone else.
