I’m not a troll, for the millionth time. You guys don’t have a very good roll eyes emoji because I don’t want a smiling roll eyes come on.
I got mad at Incogneato because she’s a bitch. Yes, I’m bigendered. Nonbinary is what people usually say since that is a more common term people know. I am 100% both male and female. I know that’s a weird thing you guys laugh at, but it’s true. Simple as that.
Fine, yes, simply saying “you are a man” is not technically incorrect, but incogneato, a hateful ACTUALLY trolling b who I could but will NOT say many confidential things about from conversations with other’s trying to throw some “youre just a MAN, don’t try to tell me shit!” in my face, when I’ve fought harder and actually empathize and DONT try to shit on LGBT issues as sneakily as she can without getting banned, and failing multiple times? I wouldn’t fucking take it. And I would have had a good case to get her off the site if I have strong evidence she was intentionally misgendering me, as told by you know, a mod. But I didn’t. They agreed it would be very weird that she would not know I’m a woman but there was nothing they could do, unfortunately.
And you guys are dumb if you think someone that fights for the right of women and their equal treatment can’t also enjoy hentai and shit. And I’m not guarded about it. I talked with other women on Era about it plenty, and on discord. It’s a conflict in my mind, that I wrestle with. And a lot of us believed that if I’m aware of the implications and know how possibly damaging that material CAN be, then it’s okay to enjoy it.
People close to me now said they avoided me from the avatars. Others gravitated toward me. Some of that attention sucked ass. Got weirdos PMing bad bad things. One Era freak lamenting how people who enjoy loli stuff were so derided and considered them pedophiles. I told him straight up, I’m not the one to bring this to. I completely understand them and their hesitation! It’s never going to be accepted or mainstream and that’s good! That’s not a shame thing. It’s just like, the way it is, right? Like, it’s not a big deal. I’m a perverted freaky person. And sure I express it pretty freely on Era. It’s kind of my thing at this point. But that’s the internet and... there are limits to what should be totally “cool”.
And after complaints about the avatars, even though it was at the point where people liked my posts enough and my commentary on issues, the avatars still made people rightfully uncomfortable. I was bummed because you know they were kind of my thing and it was a fun shtick to change them every time somebody ever reference it or avatar quoted me. But I had to get rid of it and I realize that was absolutely the right thing to do. Not EVERYTHING has to be out there. I’ve moved on from it.
I know I can be really aggressive, and militant, and flamethrowing. I’m sorry. I have a lot of things I’m passionate about, and care about deeply. Things that cause the people in my life online and off deep pain. I’m so tired of hearing about how suicidal so many people close to me get, or have been. And things just KEEP happening that just feel like a million punches in the gut. Like that Dave Chappelle thread. “I don’t get it?! What’s wrong with laughing at these ugly fucking cheeseburgers?! They’re weird!” And then Assimilate in here fucking saying “I wonder why the fuck these cheeseburgers keep doing weird shit and being unstable?! I mean have you seen all these crazy ones on TV?!... even... THIS ONE... it can hold a conversation like... JUST like people! But there’s just something... OFF about it! Meeeh, most of them are horribly ugly anyway! It’s not even WORTH IT!” Trans people are KILLING THENSELVES IN DROVES, and I’m sick and tired of people literally wondering why as they might as well be handing them the gun with their words. Are you kidding me? Do you ever read what you type? What has to happen to you for you to become this cold and devoid of empathy? That’s the sad part. You might have had a totally normal life.
Anyway, I know I have an anger issue. As you can obviously tell, I’m not the most perfectly adjusted person. But I do okay. I’m laying all my cards out in the table, for anyone who gives a shit. I’m 24 years old, doing pretty okay for myself, I am bigender, biracial 75% Black 25% white, and not at all a troll. I sometimes have a problem with not thinking before I react and too often going with my gut and emotions. I’ve been told by a friend/mod that I have one more strike, then I’m perma’d. I just wanted to post this because I felt the need to express my side of things. I know I can be overly self-righteous. But I do not virtue signal. I do not troll. I care deeply about everything I got passionate about. To many of you, that’s probably worse. Some still won’t believe me. But it’s the truth. I don’t want anyone to hate me. I also would prefer if people didn’t think I was completely lost or a fucking idiot. We have MANY different beliefs and values. But you guys are still people and I can accept that. Thanks Transhuman for correctly gendering, and generally being on the right side. Thanks Nate for reaching out and being sort of cool to me.
I probably won’t stick around, for many obvious reasons.
TLDR: I’m not a troll. Sorry for being a bitch. The way you guys shit on us for being so into black panther is gross. Fuck Assimiliate.
