Welcome new Evilborians

[Ganhyun]

karakand is here. Awesome. We expect great NCAA threads here just like you deliver on GAF

[Kara]

That's all I am to you people isn't it. 

[Flannel Boy]

karakand is polish so its cool

now I want Borys back too

another Polack?

Jebus!

edit:
are you at least a self-hating polack like I am?

[Kara]

I like telling Polish jokes if that's what you mean.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

A Polish Mother writing a leter to her son

Dear Son,
Just a few lines to let you know that I am still alive. I'm
writing this letter slowly because I know that you cannot read fast.
You won't know the house when you come home . . we've moved.

About your father . . . he has a lovely new job. He has 500
men under him. He is cutting grass at the cemetery.

There was a washing machine in the new house when we moved in,
but it isn't working too good. Last week I put 14 shirts into it,
pulled the chain, and I haven't seen the shirts since.

Your sister Mary had a baby this morning. I haven't found out
whether it is a boy or girl, so I don't know whether you are an aunt
or uncle.

Your uncle Dick drowned last week in a vat of whiskey in Dublin
Brewery. Some of his workmates dived in to save him, but he fought
them off bravely. We cremated his body, and it took three days to
put out the fire.

Your father didn't have much to drink at Christmas. I put a
bottle of castor oil in his pint of beer. It kept him going until
New Years Day. I went to the doctor on Thrusday and your father came
with me. The doctor put a small tube into my mouth and told me not
to open it for ten minutes. Your father offered to buy it from him.

It only rained twice last week. First for three days, and then
for four days. Monday it was so windy that one of our chickens laid
the same egg four times.

We had a letter yesterday from the undertaker. He said if the
last installment wasn't paid on your grandmother within 7 days, up
she comes.

Your loving mother,

P.S. I was going to send you $10.00 but I had already sealed the
envelope.

[close]

[Flannel Boy]

 

[Brehvolution]

 

[Kara]

In the late stages of Nazi Germany's invasion of Poland, the Polish Air Force (or rather what was left of it), desperate to do anything to stem the tide, began employing what the Japanese called kamikaze tactics. Their most successful pilot of these doomed flights was Miroslav Sobkiewicz, who ended his career with 39 sorties.

[BobFromPikeCreek]

I don't get it. 

[Eric P]

I don't get it. 

kamikazes crash their planes into boats to cause damage to the boat, this typically kills the pilot as well.

a polish kamikaze flew 39 missions

ergo, he was bad at it

[BlackMage]

All I know is, Karakand better not step on my toes, or that muther fucker is dead. YOU HEAR ME?!

[Kara]

There's also the implication that the other Polish kamikazes took even more attempts. (Presumably the next criterion for evaluating kamikazes after "damage dealt for your death" is "how many attempts it took you to die". At least in the case of the Polish Air Force circa 1939.)

Bit too heady, here's a remedy

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Declan, Moshe and Wojtek are all construction workers working on a skyscraper. Since this was the era before pesky labor codes and OSHA (as well as when Jews actually did manual labor at all in the United States), the three yokels would take their lunch up on the beams every day.

Declan opens his lunch box. "Oi, corned beef sandwich again? I love the stuff as much as any other Irish stereotype in a joke does but I swear to Holy Mary, Mother of the dear sweet Baby Jesus that it's all me wife ever makes me. If I get it one more time I'm... I'm gonna take the plunge of this here building!"

Moshe feigns sympathy and opens his lunch. "Not this «shit» again," he shouts agitatedly. "I tell that «bitch» that I cannot stand this «unknown» and she still gives it to me. Every. Single. Day. The woman is trying to kill me, I know it because I'm Jewish and we know when people are trying to kill us, trust me. Well if that «person that does not pay interest in a timely manner» wants me dead she just needs to give me this again tomorrow and I'll be a puddle on the asphalt down there with you Declan, my «gentile idiot colleague»."

Wojtek opens his lunch box next and pops some food in his mouth. "«Dog's blood»! Mushroom sauerkraut pirogis. Every day it is mushroom sauerkraut pirogis. Not once I get potato cheese pirogis. Tomorrow if it not potato and cheese, I jump off building with you too Declan."

The next day at work, Declan opens his lunch box and looks at his sandwich. "I knew she'd do it. Well cunts, it was nice knowing ya. Up the Irish!," he shouted, the voice trailing off into the distance as he raced towards oblivion.

"I would say a prayer for him if he was one of The Chosen. He was a good «tough guy»," Moshe says as he opens up his lunch box. After looking inside he sighs, closes it back up and walks off the beam they were all sitting on.

Wojtek crosses himself and shovels one of his pirogis in his mouth. After chewing it, he feels around his person for a flask of vodka, takes a swig. Then another. And another. Then does a canon ball off the beam to his death.

The wives of the three men opted to have one service together a few days later even though it makes no sense for a Jew to share funerary rights with two Papists. Over her tears, Gilda chokes out, "If only he'd told me! I didn't want him dead, just utterly broken and subservient to me."

Moira puts her arm around Gilda. "Oh bless you. I feel so guilty for this too even though I really did nothing wrong and my dear departed Declan had obvious communication issues. It's not my fault that the stuff's so cheap... we have 9 kids to feed too."

Ewa shares a pew with the other widows but does not share their grief. She looks distant. Troubled. She looks longingly at her husband's coffin being lowered into the ground. "Wojtek... what was problem? You packed own lunch."

[close]

[drew]

baskletball/football sucks

watch a real sport like tennis

[chronovore]

There's also the implication that the other Polish kamikazes took even more attempts. (Presumably the next criterion for evaluating kamikazes after "damage dealt for your death" is "how many attempts it took you to die". At least in the case of the Polish Air Force circa 1939.)

Bit too heady, here's a remedy

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Declan, Moshe and Wojtek are all construction workers working on a skyscraper. Since this was the era before pesky labor codes and OSHA (as well as when Jews actually did manual labor at all in the United States), the three yokels would take their lunch up on the beams every day.

Declan opens his lunch box. "Oi, corned beef sandwich again? I love the stuff as much as any other Irish stereotype in a joke does but I swear to Holy Mary, Mother of the dear sweet Baby Jesus that it's all me wife ever makes me. If I get it one more time I'm... I'm gonna take the plunge of this here building!"

Moshe feigns sympathy and opens his lunch. "Not this «shit» again," he shouts agitatedly. "I tell that «bitch» that I cannot stand this «unknown» and she still gives it to me. Every. Single. Day. The woman is trying to kill me, I know it because I'm Jewish and we know when people are trying to kill us, trust me. Well if that «person that does not pay interest in a timely manner» wants me dead she just needs to give me this again tomorrow and I'll be a puddle on the asphalt down there with you Declan, my «gentile idiot colleague»."

Wojtek opens his lunch box next and pops some food in his mouth. "«Dog's blood»! Mushroom sauerkraut pirogis. Every day it is mushroom sauerkraut pirogis. Not once I get potato cheese pirogis. Tomorrow if it not potato and cheese, I jump off building with you too Declan."

The next day at work, Declan opens his lunch box and looks at his sandwich. "I knew she'd do it. Well cunts, it was nice knowing ya. Up the Irish!," he shouted, the voice trailing off into the distance as he raced towards oblivion.

"I would say a prayer for him if he was one of The Chosen. He was a good «tough guy»," Moshe says as he opens up his lunch box. After looking inside he sighs, closes it back up and walks off the beam they were all sitting on.

Wojtek crosses himself and shovels one of his pirogis in his mouth. After chewing it, he feels around his person for a flask of vodka, takes a swig. Then another. And another. Then does a canon ball off the beam to his death.

The wives of the three men opted to have one service together a few days later even though it makes no sense for a Jew to share funerary rights with two Papists. Over her tears, Gilda chokes out, "If only he'd told me! I didn't want him dead, just utterly broken and subservient to me."

Moira puts her arm around Gilda. "Oh bless you. I feel so guilty for this too even though I really did nothing wrong and my dear departed Declan had obvious communication issues. It's not my fault that the stuff's so cheap... we have 9 kids to feed too."

Ewa shares a pew with the other widows but does not share their grief. She looks distant. Troubled. She looks longingly at her husband's coffin being lowered into the ground. "Wojtek... what was problem? You packed own lunch."

[close]

[Madrun Badrun]

 

I'm in the middle of watching a WWII doc and it said at the start of blitz Polish cavalry charged the German tanks with their lances. 

[T234]

Question:
HEY KARAKAND, WHY DO WE HAVE A UCLA MAN DO THE GODDAMN NCAA FOOTBALL THREADS?

Answer:
BECAUSE ALL THE SCHOOLS OF THE ACC PULLED TOGETHER THEIR BEST SINGLE THREADMAKERS AND STILL COULD NOT EQUAL THE SINGLE UCLA MAN!

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Oh yes, that WAS just an inter-sport, inter-conference, inter-forum sports troll!

[close]

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Welcome fellow PSO-loving brother!

[close]