Corona Thread |OT| Please scream inside your heart

[Trent Dole]

https://twitter.com/merzb0w/status/1239327942716477440

[Cindi Mayweather]

where's my sexy bidet

[team filler]

https://twitter.com/leahmcelrath/status/1243392738550145025

[nudemacusers]

where's my sexy bidet

👀

[thisismyusername]

where's my sexy bidet

Right here, bb

[Cindi Mayweather]

I decided to take a quarantine. I might be fired from my job but hey, at least I'll have a 1200 dollar check which is more than what I make now. I can't keep doing this and it's not worth risking my health for it either.

Just need to hear from the grocery store.

[Cindi Mayweather]

The company I work for does not give one fuck about me and my coworkers.

It's truly terrifying. Zero increases to pay.

[VomKriege]

https://twitter.com/ScottWalker/status/1243334107070902282

Well at least he's at home. Eating an empty bun. Low bar but sadly better than a number of his peers.

[Pissy F Benny]

I doubt anyone in the world below executive level will get any form of pay rise this year

I’m sure the corporate execs will magically find enough cash to give themselves a juicy bonus tho

[nudemacusers]

I got a raise just a couple weeks ago and am getting $3.6k/month incentive pay for 6 months 

[Potato]

I doubt anyone in the world below executive level will get any form of pay rise this year

I’m sure the corporate execs will magically find enough cash to give themselves a juicy bonus tho

Dunno about that. A whole bunch of CEOs and execs here have taken pay cuts as their first action and some have stopped taking pay entirely.

[VomKriege]

I got a raise just a couple weeks ago and am getting $3.6k/month incentive pay for 6 months 

Never a crisis in the Peace business.

Those American far right pundits are really  I don't know if they're just dumb or confident they're immune to backfire.
Not that we don't have the same clowns in Western Europe but they're not getting that big of a pulpit.

[Tripon]

https://twitter.com/NBCNews/status/1243498707506679808

[Ghoul]

Boris down, the news here has gone insane basically the whole party could have to be put on lockdown.

WTF is going on.

[ToxicAdam]

Operation: Herd Immunity is in motion.

[Stro]

Surely Boris has 15 other viruses stewing in him that can overpower the 'rona.

[Ghoul]

Surely Boris has 15 other viruses stewing in him that can overpower the 'rona.

He’s gone super rona.

[VomKriege]

BoJo do the Coro.

[VomKriege]

BoJo do the Coro.

Sneeze !
Cheek to cheek !
Shake hands !
Everyone do the Coro.

Edit : Another world leader hit, the Rammstein singer got it.

[Madrun Badrun]

FOR FUCK'S SAKE i went outside to take out the trash and all i had to do was not touch my face but then i went for a short walk and something came up to my face, a small insect or something and it landed on the corner of my mouth so i brushed that part of my face with my hand

We'll you had a good run. 

[Stro]

Trump called into some Fox show last night to call the governors of Washington/Michigan complainers who aren't doing enough and shouldn't be relying on the federal government, and also that he doesn't believe the demand for ventilators is that big and it's totally normal for many large hospitals to only have two ventilators in the whole building.


What the fuck is wrong with him?

[Ghoul]

FOR FUCK'S SAKE i went outside to take out the trash and all i had to do was not touch my face but then i went for a short walk and something came up to my face, a small insect or something and it landed on the corner of my mouth so i brushed that part of my face with my hand

The bore is currently 0 deaths vs Corona, don't fuck it up.

[Madrun Badrun]

[HardcoreRetro]

Why not give FF14 a try?

[Clockwork5]

It's a pandemic and niccas still don't tip. Easily the worst customers.

Looking forward to working at a grocery store where I don't have to worry about that.

Your restaurant is still open? Mine has been closed for two weeks. Also, because I had recently moved here and only had 1 paycheck in this state during the 12 month period they average wages I don’t qualify for unemployment. I had also just blown a couple grand on dental work that is only halfway finished because all of the dentists closed before I could get a crown on this root canal. Corona is really fucking me up and I don’t even have it yet...

I’m just trying to go with the flow. Forget about the tooth for now, don’t spend money on non essential bullshit (Animal Crossing and weed were my last “enjoy the time off” purchases), get high as hell and listen to audiobooks throughout the day. That’s been my plan so far. I’ve got months of savings but it would crush me psychologically to see that disappear as I sit around getting high and playing animal crossing.

I’ve thought about mowing lawns for some quick cash, that’s where I’m at.

[Ghoul]

Why not give FF14 a try?

It's a trap!

[Madrun Badrun]

[ToxicAdam]

I’ve thought about mowing lawns for some quick cash, that’s where I’m at.

Why not a night stock job at a grocery store? You don't need prior experience for that.

[Madrun Badrun]

[Clockwork5]

I’ve thought about mowing lawns for some quick cash, that’s where I’m at.

Why not a night stock job at a grocery store? You don't need prior experience for that.

I’ve thought about that as well but the hourly rate is so dismal. If that’s what it comes to then it is what it is but Im holding out hope I’ll figure something out that nets me more than a few hundred a week.

[Cindi Mayweather]

FOR FUCK'S SAKE i went outside to take out the trash and all i had to do was not touch my face but then i went for a short walk and something came up to my face, a small insect or something and it landed on the corner of my mouth so i brushed that part of my face with my hand

Why would you take out the trash and not immediately wash your hands?

[nachobro]

Why not give FF14 a try?

dutch directness is banned in the game, we're trying to keep our userbase full of nice people

[Ghoul]

The real question, why the fuck are people eating bats in the first place?

[Cindi Mayweather]

It's a pandemic and niccas still don't tip. Easily the worst customers.

Looking forward to working at a grocery store where I don't have to worry about that.

Your restaurant is still open? Mine has been closed for two weeks. Also, because I had recently moved here and only had 1 paycheck in this state during the 12 month period they average wages I don’t qualify for unemployment. I had also just blown a couple grand on dental work that is only halfway finished because all of the dentists closed before I could get a crown on this root canal. Corona is really fucking me up and I don’t even have it yet...

I’m just trying to go with the flow. Forget about the tooth for now, don’t spend money on non essential bullshit (Animal Crossing and weed were my last “enjoy the time off” purchases), get high as hell and listen to audiobooks throughout the day. That’s been my plan so far. I’ve got months of savings but it would crush me psychologically to see that disappear as I sit around getting high and playing animal crossing.

I’ve thought about mowing lawns for some quick cash, that’s where I’m at.

I deliver pizza. We are considered "essential".

You're having a rough go of it. I'm hoping the next month will help.

[Stro]

The real question, why the fuck are people eating bats in the first place?

Who knows, but scientists now believe the virus didn't come from the wet market in Wuhan and that there were cases before and unrelated, but that there were also definitely cases stemming from there as well. There's also some belief that there was a less serious version that had been around for quite some time but they don't know what caused the mutation into the more serious version.

[Cindi Mayweather]

FOR FUCK'S SAKE i went outside to take out the trash and all i had to do was not touch my face but then i went for a short walk and something came up to my face, a small insect or something and it landed on the corner of my mouth so i brushed that part of my face with my hand

Why would you take out the trash and not immediately wash your hands?

 

i took out the trash, and went for a few minute walk, then returned home

Yes. When I take out the trash I go back inside and wash my hands.

Then again, I wash my hands after every delivery, even before the Coronavirus started.

So this is completely foreign to me.

[toku]

classic dutch post

[CatsCatsCats]

So after going in Monday and Tuesday and really not digging how things were being handled, I took my last three sick days for the year (lol) to finish the week, and am now starting to burn through my last 2 weeks of vacation starting Monday. Boss says okay, just wanna let you know we’re being instructed to look at possible lay offs. So I’m probably gonna be sucking that neet teet soon.

[Ghoul]

So after going in Monday and Tuesday and really not digging how things were being handled, I took my last three sick days for the year (lol) to finish the week, and am now starting to burn through my last 2 weeks of vacation starting Monday. Boss says okay, just wanna let you know we’re being instructed to look at possible lay offs. So I’m probably gonna be sucking that neet teet soon.

Offer to fuck your boss for your job? Crazier things have happened! Hope things work out dude.

I am currently making email groups for consultation, it's the most depressing shit I have done in a while.

[CatsCatsCats]

Never him, no, ew.

Honesty getting laid off from this job and being able to collect a strong unemployment might be the chance I need to get into a real career, I really ought to spend this time figuring out what kinda training or whatever I’m gonna do

[Mandark]

Never him, no, ew.

Honesty getting laid off from this job and being able to collect a strong unemployment might be the chance I need to get into a real career, I really ought to spend this time figuring out what kinda training or whatever I’m gonna do

Assuming this bill gets passed and I'm not fucking up in understanding it, you'll be able to collect unemployment (your state's standard amount plus $600/week) even if you quit, which is usually not the case.

If you're feeling jaded about your current job, there are worse times to look for an exit.

[thisismyusername]

Bust it open, use it. What the fuck is he going to do? Sue the city all the way from California?

[Tripon]

https://twitter.com/NBCNews/status/1243559067840323586

[Tripon]

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1243559373395410957

[CatsCatsCats]

Whut

[VomKriege]

What a fucking moron.

[BisMarckie]

Bust it open, use it. What the fuck is he going to do? Sue the city all the way from California?

yeah good point... the united states court system would never uphold property rights in the face of a humanitarian crisis.

TFW you can get disowned for a new fracking site or a new highway, but not because of a healthcare crisis

[Transhuman]

FOR FUCK'S SAKE i went outside to take out the trash and all i had to do was not touch my face but then i went for a short walk and something came up to my face, a small insect or something and it landed on the corner of my mouth so i brushed that part of my face with my hand

The bore is currently 0 deaths vs Corona, don't fuck it up.

My friend asked me if I wanted to come over tomorrow to eat nachos and watch Netflix and I said yes

[toku]

make sure you spit in their mouth, its how you shake hands now

[toku]

if we survive, the 3 hour adam curtis doc set to burial b-sides about all this is gonna be fire

[Tuckers Law]

https://twitter.com/NBCNews/status/1243559067840323586

That’s a good burn.

[nachobro]

wait...coronavirus dot gov? china was right!

[nachobro]

also new mexico schools will be at-home education for the rest of the year. sounds like the kids are all getting chromebooks lol

https://twitter.com/NMPED/status/1243571289043775489

[bork]

https://twitter.com/AmetDj/status/1243481916868870145

[james]

(Image removed from quote.)

wait...coronavirus dot gov? china was right!

President Trump's Coronavirus: Guidelines for America

[bork]

We finally got the approval to stop working weekends.  Actually getting a full weekend break after three weeks! 
 

spoiler (click to show/hide)

This came with a note that "should the on-call person be overwhelmed, people might get called to hop on."  So on-call for the on-call.



Don't think it's going to be a problem though- the last two weekends were pretty much wastes of everyone's time.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

I just jinxed myself, didn't I?
 

[close]

[close]

[BIONIC]

(Image removed from quote.)

wait...coronavirus dot gov? china was right!

Trump:

[bluemax]

Talking to my brother this morning, sounds like Japan is two weeks behind the USA in terms of reacting to this. Their federal government is still trying to deny its a big deal and the prefectures and cities are telling people to stay home as much as possible.

[toku]

https://quarantine-tapes.simplecast.com/episodes/the-quarantine-tapes-002-werner-herzog

[Madrun Badrun]

https://gfycat.com/flustereddependentflyinglemur