ok slow it down people, I want to clarify this point again:
Nobody is asking anyone to turn from a peaceful person into a physical abusing wife-beater. if you're not the type then good for you and your wife, i hope you two live the happy life any couple dream of.
In fact, there are MANY MANY teachings that stresses on treating all women delicately, like: "رفقاً بالقوارير" (roughly translated to: be careful handling the vials)
now if you HAVE the tendency to be abusive (i.e. you're a violent person who usually resolve to force to solve his problems) then this is where those guidelines comes in to protect your wife from you, and should be the last exhausted resort... no human being should condone such unnecessary violence.
In other words, if you don't follow those rules and go full on "wife-beating" mode then the teachings condemns you.
For example: I don't remember my dad ever hitting my mom, and they always get into arguments like all couples do
why do you feel the need to defend the quran?
it's just the same as the bible or most any religious text from major religions
it teaches the same really basic stuff [love each other, do not kill, etc]
the only differences are the cosmetic superficial ones, i.e calling 'ten commandments' vs. 'five pillars'
it's the same shit
